Sunday, March 6, 2011

(Gnome Wars) A Very Gnomish Civil War

I was perusing Tim's Miniatures Wargaming blog (see below post for link), and unfortunately, it got me thinking...

I love his battle reports because (1) I love the eras and the forces he uses and (2) I spend way too much time deciding if I would need to tweak the boards for a Gnome Wars version. Hey, tunnelling and cheese throwers were the least of the KAR's issues!

One of the games he's posted on was A British Civil War. Basically society in 1930's Great Britian collapses and various factions fight over control of the Island. Fascists, Royalist, Trade Unionists, Free Scots, Royalist Scots, the variety of groups was impressive. Better yet, it's a great alternative history subject, since you can use your Great War figures, early WW2 vehicles, plus all those Pulp/civilian figures you just had to purchase at the last con.

Somewhere between thinking of the painting I need to do for Tanga, and staring at a large elephant planter that I knock over and chipped part of its face, I came upon an epiphany.

A Very Gnomish Civil War

In a world where the Allies finally subdue the German military machine, Swiss culture has changed, and not for the better. The simple cheese-loving, beer-drinking, tunnel-happy gnomes have become militarized, industrialized, and fragmented. Quaint cities worth the front of a picture postcard have turned into dirty mechanized sprawl. The countryside has barely changed, at least those parts that survived the ravages of war. With population displacement due to the demilitarization, the Swiss economy fails. The simple Swiss forms of government falter soon thereafter, and numerous factions will take up fight to rule the mountain gnomes.

First off, this game is Swiss-on-Swiss action. I can picture some Germans peasant mobs, possibly trying to achieve the upper hand, but their country is periously close to the Swiss perdicament, so no overt military actions. I can also imagine a unit of Sikhs or two, who did not make back home before the Le Merde hit La Fan. Throw in some Gnomo Sapiens, who came out of the mountains, looking for a good time.

I imagine the main game for about 12 players, each with specific instructions and "potential" allies and enemies. The main playing board is at least 6 x 10 and would focus on a "capture the flag" theme. One corner will be a true gnomish village. I'm picturing mushroom houses moreso than MBA buildings. The center will be the Wonders of the Gnomish World. The elephant planter gets turned into a Sphinx-like object, surrounded by smaller statues. The far end will be a refinery of some sort (oil, molten cheese, beer), that will use those plentiful Enfamil bottles I wrote about previously, along with a piece of garden hose, cut in half, to represent the half-submerged pipeline.

This is NOT your regular Historicon Gnome Wars game. I'm tapping the lawn ornament vibe that the Swiss always project and turning it up to 11! I'll take the derision of those who scoff at a historical game... with gnomes and shove it back in their faces threefold! Hell, I broke a shovel chopping away at ice this winter, I may turn the handle in terrain!

Any suggestions, advice, or smacks upside the head would be appreciated. And, oh yeah, I'm thinking about doing this for Historicon, so help is doubly appreciated.

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