No, no, not the bad Pamela Anderson movie.
Mike's been busy pefecting Swiss barbed wire.
Why Swiss barbed wire, or black thorn? I'll let Mike explain it....
The gnomes of the Swiss Confederation were caught completely unprepared for the harsh realities of the grinding trench warfare that had developed along the entire length of the front. The Swiss were desperate to find a solution to help protect their exposed trenches from sudden attacks. The Germans were beginning to line their front lines with barbed wire. However, the Swiss did not have the industry to support production of the enormous quantities of wire required to line their front. Besides the machine made wire was an ecological eyesore which no gnome of good morals and taste would willingly submit to using. The Swiss looked for a more natural solution and found it within the normally shunned Whisperwoods. There, deep within the forest, patches of a thick, tangle briar known as die Schwartze Dornen or Black Thornes grew in abundance. Normally, gnomes would not willing cultivate this invasive, evil looking plant. But desperate times, call for desperate measures.
Here’s an excerpt from the journal of a young French officer serving as a liaison to the Confederation staff: “Under the cover of darkness, in small units the Swiss quietly crawl out of their trenches into No Gnomes Land. They tie down with string their traditional red pointy hats so that their silhouette is less disconcernable against the horizon. Some of the members carry shovels and water cans. Others very carefully carry the small thorny seedlings of the Black Thorne plant. In front of their lines in rows the seedlings are quietly planted and then watered. The water contains a special ingredient known as GMG or “Gnomish Miracle Grow”. Then, with a bit of luck, the gnomes are able to creep back to the safety of their trenches without loss or interference from the enemy. By morning, to my great surprise, the entire front is covered by row upon row of lethal thorns. Their twisted black forms and their long wicked needles send an obvious message to the Bosche that they will not be able to safely pass through such a barrier without great care and personal risk.”