WEISSMACH LETTER #3
The Dimension of Taux On-Er the Observator, Accessible through The Weissmach
To His Lordship, the Viscount Wilfrick of Verbobonc,
I apologize for the sudden break in my previous letter. I was feeling uneasy reliving the events of that story, and felt best to send off the letter as-is and spend some time in recovery.
As I left my previous letter, we had followed some walking, talking, axed wielding rabbit creatures, fell down a pit, wandered around a strange new land, and had just emerged from a cave onto a green hillside full of sheep.
There were no signs of the crazed berserker rabbits, but we also failed to notice the simple, passive sheep on the hill, who, when we weren't looking, surrounded us. and bared some of the sharpest, razor-like teeth I've ever imagined. It took the fleet feet of a fat man name Utte to stop them from ripping us to shreds.
Utte the Shepherd was obviously the shepherd to these magical "Death Sheep." He wore magical gloves to protect him from the viciousness of his creatures.
Utte was the first kind thing we encountered in this strange pocket dimension. He seemed like a normal man, albeit fat and bald, with a love for killer sheep. We had two things in common with the man: he too had seen the crazed rabbits "Were-Hares of Doom we call them." he explained. Better to consider these creatures uncivilized barbarians with a healthy bloodlust than any useful race.
The second thing could only make me chuckle: He had encountered Talanth Blackash and his cronies. They killed a number of his sheep for no good reason and he was ready to take his flock and hunt these hooligans down like the dogs they were. We felt his pain and asked him to join us... although we asked his Death Sheep be kept at a distance.
I had read encounters with dragons, but I could not guess that my first sighting of one would be bright pink!.
Descending into the valley, we thought the area was recently subject to flooding, but as we got closer, the puddles smelled sweet and the all the objects were covered in a sticky substance. Along the main road the Pink Dragon was sitting there, emitting a pink opaque substance from its mouth to trap the odd materials collecting around the area.
Pink Dragon only had a tale of woe for Utte. The great wizard Pe'Psi who ruled the realm (we certainly didn't learn the name of this place) had been waylayed by and elf and his bandit friends. In an attempt to defeat these ne'er do wells, he had cast one of his most powerful spells, Razen Sirop Mais. He was now feared dead and some of the greatest artifacts in all the land were missing. Pe'Psi's Robe, and Obviously the greatest magic sword in all the land.
We bid Pink Dragon farewell, and continued to pursue theses cads, but before I knew it, we ran into a cow with a Unicorn's horn and a nasty disposition. Utte explained that the Unicow (I kid you not), was in the Wizard's menagerie and must have escaped. It was almost equal to the power of the wizard, and managed to scare this tyrannical elf away, but not before a great loss.
As they entered an abandoned village, the town square was covered with bodies. Bodies of thinly pressed metal, forged as warriors layed broken and dented everywhere.
"With the wizard gone, the next strongest is Taux On-Er, the Observator. We need to report this to him and pray he doesn't annihilate us."
I didn't like our chances, but a powerful mage had a better chance of getting us home than a Shepherd of Death Sheep.
After a very long walk, we arrived in a strange hall of mirrors. Utte begged the tin golem guards for an audience with their master and they oblige.
Two things about Taux On-Er the Observator.
He was a beholder.
And he was definitely a she.
But even more surprising was her and Utte's reactions to one another. Any false pretenses fell away, and the two seemed smitten with one another. They seemed to instantly fall in love.
Utte is in the eye of the beholder.
While I'm quite certain of the were-hares, falling down the hole, and talking to a Pink Dragon, I don't recall the rest of that day. The others could only recall bits of a wedding, a great feast, and something involving high grade fireworks.
We awoke the next morning back on the side of the road, our horses still gently tethered to some low hanging branches, and our pouches filled with rare gemstones.
Your Faithful Servant,
Elsderth Greyhawk
Sage of the The Order of Merit, Retired Sell-sword, and Third Bridesmaid to Taux On-Er the Observator's Wedding Party (Please don't ask.)
DM Notes: Sometime 29 or so years ago, I ran a comedy game for my D&D group using primarily Dragon #165, The April Fool's Issue. It was way too railroady for even our unrefined tastes, but it involved Ware-Hares, Death Sheep, Pink Dragons, Tin Golems, and Jell-o Monsters.
The Dimension of Taux On-Er the Observator, Accessible through The Weissmach
To His Lordship, the Viscount Wilfrick of Verbobonc,
I apologize for the sudden break in my previous letter. I was feeling uneasy reliving the events of that story, and felt best to send off the letter as-is and spend some time in recovery.
As I left my previous letter, we had followed some walking, talking, axed wielding rabbit creatures, fell down a pit, wandered around a strange new land, and had just emerged from a cave onto a green hillside full of sheep.
There were no signs of the crazed berserker rabbits, but we also failed to notice the simple, passive sheep on the hill, who, when we weren't looking, surrounded us. and bared some of the sharpest, razor-like teeth I've ever imagined. It took the fleet feet of a fat man name Utte to stop them from ripping us to shreds.
Utte the Shepherd was obviously the shepherd to these magical "Death Sheep." He wore magical gloves to protect him from the viciousness of his creatures.
Utte was the first kind thing we encountered in this strange pocket dimension. He seemed like a normal man, albeit fat and bald, with a love for killer sheep. We had two things in common with the man: he too had seen the crazed rabbits "Were-Hares of Doom we call them." he explained. Better to consider these creatures uncivilized barbarians with a healthy bloodlust than any useful race.
The second thing could only make me chuckle: He had encountered Talanth Blackash and his cronies. They killed a number of his sheep for no good reason and he was ready to take his flock and hunt these hooligans down like the dogs they were. We felt his pain and asked him to join us... although we asked his Death Sheep be kept at a distance.
I had read encounters with dragons, but I could not guess that my first sighting of one would be bright pink!.
Descending into the valley, we thought the area was recently subject to flooding, but as we got closer, the puddles smelled sweet and the all the objects were covered in a sticky substance. Along the main road the Pink Dragon was sitting there, emitting a pink opaque substance from its mouth to trap the odd materials collecting around the area.
Pink Dragon only had a tale of woe for Utte. The great wizard Pe'Psi who ruled the realm (we certainly didn't learn the name of this place) had been waylayed by and elf and his bandit friends. In an attempt to defeat these ne'er do wells, he had cast one of his most powerful spells, Razen Sirop Mais. He was now feared dead and some of the greatest artifacts in all the land were missing. Pe'Psi's Robe, and Obviously the greatest magic sword in all the land.
We bid Pink Dragon farewell, and continued to pursue theses cads, but before I knew it, we ran into a cow with a Unicorn's horn and a nasty disposition. Utte explained that the Unicow (I kid you not), was in the Wizard's menagerie and must have escaped. It was almost equal to the power of the wizard, and managed to scare this tyrannical elf away, but not before a great loss.
As they entered an abandoned village, the town square was covered with bodies. Bodies of thinly pressed metal, forged as warriors layed broken and dented everywhere.
"With the wizard gone, the next strongest is Taux On-Er, the Observator. We need to report this to him and pray he doesn't annihilate us."
I didn't like our chances, but a powerful mage had a better chance of getting us home than a Shepherd of Death Sheep.
After a very long walk, we arrived in a strange hall of mirrors. Utte begged the tin golem guards for an audience with their master and they oblige.
Two things about Taux On-Er the Observator.
He was a beholder.
And he was definitely a she.
But even more surprising was her and Utte's reactions to one another. Any false pretenses fell away, and the two seemed smitten with one another. They seemed to instantly fall in love.
Utte is in the eye of the beholder.
We awoke the next morning back on the side of the road, our horses still gently tethered to some low hanging branches, and our pouches filled with rare gemstones.
Your Faithful Servant,
Elsderth Greyhawk
Sage of the The Order of Merit, Retired Sell-sword, and Third Bridesmaid to Taux On-Er the Observator's Wedding Party (Please don't ask.)
DM Notes: Sometime 29 or so years ago, I ran a comedy game for my D&D group using primarily Dragon #165, The April Fool's Issue. It was way too railroady for even our unrefined tastes, but it involved Ware-Hares, Death Sheep, Pink Dragons, Tin Golems, and Jell-o Monsters.
The original group easily defeated most of the things they encountered, fought a Giant Pepsi Wave (it was a TV ad campaign that stuck in our teenage craws) and some how escaped, but not before getting two absurd items:
Thendara, the Busty Mage, acquired the wizard's Robe of Useless Items.
Odmusson, the Drunken Warrior, got hold of the +1 Sword of Obviousness. Not an item from the "Outrages from the Mages" like the +3 Hammer (Dwarf Thrower), rather a Dragon cartoon where the magic sword is a giant number one with a plus sign floating mid-air.
The Order of Merit got some nice gems and a return trip home for celebrating the happy couple's true love with them.
Next: #23 The Necropolis of Krigsgrave
Odmusson, the Drunken Warrior, got hold of the +1 Sword of Obviousness. Not an item from the "Outrages from the Mages" like the +3 Hammer (Dwarf Thrower), rather a Dragon cartoon where the magic sword is a giant number one with a plus sign floating mid-air.
The Order of Merit got some nice gems and a return trip home for celebrating the happy couple's true love with them.
Next: #23 The Necropolis of Krigsgrave
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