(Gnome Wars) The Armies and Navies of Canadian Bermuda

In celebration of International Gnome Week, let's take a look at one of the more peculiar colonial holdings, the much celebrated Canadian Bermuda.

Yes, that Canadian Bermuda.

In the early days of gnome colonization of Northern America, the British Mercantile Republic held control over  a large sway of territory, but with a small contingent of colonizers, merchants, and military.  British interests continue to move inland, their small bases and encampments were easily overwhelmed by the second wave of colonizers from the French (Les Quebecois), the Scots (Nova Scotia), and even a canine-friendly race of natives reassuring control (The Labrador).  With a hotly contested Holy Larry's River preventing support and resupply, the British Canadian colony (with some Irish colonists) declared their independence as the State of O' Canada much earlier the Confederation of Sovereign States (CSS) did during Amer-Bear Revolution.

Uneducated gnomes giggle at the thought of a Canadian Navy, but those geographically-challenged fail to remember that most of their military history involves territorial disputes of the Great Lakes, Hudson Bay, and the escape back to the "civilized" gnomes of Europe, Holy Larry.  Numerous raids and amphibious assaults have been conducted/defended against the likes of Les Quebecois, Furmount, those crazy Nova Scotians, and especially against the CSS and the very greedy Mercantile Union of America.

During the American Uncivil War, the few British Naval vessels protecting Bermuda were pulled to protect more significant interests.

In the final year of the war, a monstrous hurricane devastated Disneya and reached Bermuda that the storm was heading to the island.  The Governor at the time, Cornwick P Crockpot, ordered the evacuation of all British citizens, including all government workers and military.  Crockpot's Folly has been well-documented elsewhere, but the overburden ships were barely seaworthy, and in an age of primitive communication and weather forecasting, it's little surprise to most that the evacuating armada ran right into the "off-course" hurricane in the middle of the night, leading no survivors.

To complicate matters further, the pirate fleet of the Esmund Vile, the "Sea Bass" was heading right for Bermuda.  The only defense for the island against an all-out bout of pillaging was a small contingent of Canadian sailors, who regularly guarded the Canadian Foreign Service office.

The sailors dashed to Pennypincher Fort on the Merchant's Wharf and with a quick barrage of cannon-fire, chased off two of Vile's ships.

The Canadians were desperate for support, but outside of elderly and infirm, the only other reinforcements they could gather was a large group of British Highlanders who were on vacation, and refused the evacuate.

After apologizing to the Highlanders for ruining their vacation, the Canadians conscripted them into the service of the Great Maple Leaf, and plans were made to ambush the pirates, who were obviously heading to Hamilton, the capital.  

The ambush was so successful that the Sea Bass was captured within minutes, most of the pirates arrested, and only the leaders executed by a military tribunal.

With the threat gone, the realization that no one was coming back, Lt Robert Orr wrote a letter to the Canadian government and gave Petty Officer Maury Richards command of the pirate sloop Bawdy Toad with orders to deliver the letter and beg for reinforcements.  Until relief arrive, the Head of the Foreign Office, Theodore Lindsay, would assume the title of Governor of Canadian Bermuda.

By the time the British had any idea of the tragedy that befell their citizens of Bermuda, Captain Orr  returned with three sea-worthy naval vessels, the Gordy, the Gretzky, and a recently captured Quebecois cruiser, the Lemieux. 

Bermuda remains in Canadian hands till this day.  It is used as a strategic port for Canada and her allies, as well privateers who don't interfere with Canadian shipping, as well as a popular tourist and banking destination.  The image of businessmen dressed in the classic Bermuda shorts and took are instantly recognizable across the gnome world.

How to make a Canadian Bermuda Garrison

• Traditional Canadian Army - Use Swiss Figures, traditional colors red jacket, white hat with a maple leaf.  The nurse works well, but find a replacement for the stinky cheese gnomes, perhaps large coins that work like a boomerang in the rules.  You can call the the coin throwers, the Nickelbacks?  If that's too much, a bunch of Highlander scotch throwers (using bottles of sun tan lotion) might work. The St.Bernard should be replaced with a beaver.  
• Canadian Bermuda Highlanders - Use British Highlanders.  Tartans should be in the colors of  various Canadian maple syrup or beer companies. Formal sun hats are tan/khaki, but for festivals and parades they can be patterned after popular took styles. 
• Canadian Bermuda Sailors -  Use British Marine -Navy Blue Jacket and Hat, white trim.
• The Bermudian Guard - The elite unit in charge of protecting the Governor and the Foreign Office.  -  Use Swiss Guard/NCO.  Remove halberd for a hockey stick. Bermudian guard may be used as an NCO for any of the above units.   
• New versions of the Gordy, Gretsky, and Lemieux are still in service today.  Each ships has six guns apiece, although military fans argue which one is the better ship.