Cruise Week Transforms Into Hell Week

If the world had not succumbed to the epidemiological disaster known as COVID, my entire family and I should have been a cruise ship today, somewhere off the coast of the Carolinas.  

Instead of quietly sipping coffee on a balcony while an all-blue world passes by, I'm trying to balance a last ditch family activity, all the while prep for a month-long training regimen at work that starts in full tomorrow but begins this morning.  Nothing like sitting in multiple meetings in a hotel room at a local family-friendly resort while my wife and kids are having fun, but I also knew if I didn't come down for the week, good ol' Dad would be vilified.  

Now connection issues, work miscommunications, and crabby children who wish to knock out two days of activities into the six hour window we have left (and me stuck on Teams calls) means a 20% for family happiness and 80% chance for a some range of disaster.

The resort we're staying at is one of the newer ones in the Poconos.  My wife did get a dirt cheap rate for the room, which is very nice, and it comes along with access to a gigantic indoor water park (with all the accoutrements of social distancing).

Of course, being a modern resort, they get you with all the other add-ons, like on-site food, shopping, and arcades.  

The biggest activity, after the water park, is Magic Quest, a kid's challenge (for the whole family), where they wander the commons areas of the hotel, with a magical wand and a book of clues.  I had not realized day one of all the treasure chest, crystals, and hallways transformed into magical forests.  I had thought it amusing that Jennell Jaquays "Dragon Crag" was hanging in the hallway (the cover art for the old Dragon Mountain boxed set). 

Needless to say, my wife and daughters discovered this while at the arcade, and decided at 9pm to start this magical journey (the quest turns off at 10:30 each night and restarts at 9am).   If I wanted a fumbling group out of Office Space, I would take my current work situation (I take my stapler home thank you very much).  If I wanted a dysfunctional LARPing group, my wife and kids do well, in a pinch. Not reading, not following instructions, not communicating, it was a Dungeon Master horror story waiting to happen.  All the while, there were dozens of other families zipping around, running through the other quests in the book, having better success.  

We aren't even close to getting to this quest!

I have an even greater appreciation for the brigands in modules that camp outside of dungeons and waylay the adventuring parties as they leave.  

Of course, I'm also happy that they eschewed everything but the $30(!)  magical wand needed for this interactive game.  One of the stores in the resorts caters exclusively to the game the amount of cloaks, robes, and other costuming you can purchase is mind boggling.  

Did I mention the Poconos target (and most profitable) audience is families from New Jersey and the New York City metro area? 

While I'm in my meetings, they're attempting to finish as many quests as possible, before the water park opens.  Thank God they have basketball this afternoon, or else I'd never get back to my home office and prep for tomorrow.  

And if I can make it till tonight, I have my Star Wars game, hopefully to wrap up yet another gonzo storyline.  I'm grabbing a full IV of coffee to make that happen.

Speaking of the Star Wars campaign, the first Actual Play episode drops tomorrow, for some strange reason.  We didn't actually have a Session Zero like the internet demands we have, we simply whipped up characters, I adjusted my plotlines as they fleshed out their skills, and we hit the ground running.  Considering I'm trying to finish writing up episodes #38-41 right now, I hope it's as enjoyable for the readers as it was for us.