Bo'Non'as is dead.
Long live the wandering Bo'Non'as
Stripped of his tile as Warlord of the Kurabanda,
Bo'Non'as as vowed vengeance upon the upstart
"Space Gods" Who have ruined the villages.
Accompanied by former Water Bearer, Uha'ul, Space Gods,
Bo'Non'as has out to spy upon, infiltrate, and
ultimately destroy, the "Lightning God".
For Bo'Non'as and Uha'ul, trekking up to the northern lands of the Lightning God. They had packed light, a lone throwing spear, slingshots, and their long travel water kit, which filtered Kurabanda urine into clean drinking water.
Back in the Yellowback Village, Oopsa was still the advisor of the Chosen One, Dipsa. Many were worried about the disappearance of the disgraced Warlord. Most anticipated he would seek revenge on those that dishonored the tribe, but a lingering rumor that he had refused the fabled Speak of Destiny on his mission lowered the hopes of most villagers.
In reality the spear in question was simply gifted to Bo'Non'as by Dez-tiny, the sister of Weather Dancer Mida'Wap, and new-sister-in-law of Oopsa. If Oopsa and Mida'Wap's wedding had not been a disaster, there appeared a chance that Dez-tiny and Bo'Non'as could court, but the bloody attack during the wedding reception and the death of the Mida'Wap and Dez-tiny's father during it made things far more dour.
The trip on the Kurabanda platforms to the north had few issues. There were not barricades, no guards, only the call of the lonely Tukano and it's multi-colored bill, created an ominous feeling for the travelers.
"The Tukano represents death and problems that linger on for generations, it's a bad omen," Bo'Non'as said.
"The Toukani has little meat and has a poor taste to it. Otherwise, I would have shot and killed it for lunch by now," Uha'ul responded.
Further down, the fell about a loud team of four rival Kurabanda. The were badly balance and wooden contraption that the common human might call a sedan chair. No matter what they attempted, it could be held aloft for a few moments, only to have one or more corners come crashing down.
The group devolved into arguing, then pushing and shoving, which was only stopped by Uha'ul chucking a rock over their heads. The ensuing noise scared the wits out of the rival tribesmen. One simply ran away in fear of its life, one stood its ground to investigate the noise, the final two backed-up so far in sheer shock, that they tumbled off the platform to a lower platform, both knocked out cold.
Uha'ul walked over, punched both in the head for good measure, and started dressing in their uniforms.
Uha'ul and Bo'Non'as climbed back up the platform. Arnuld, the bravest of the four, was still looking for the origin of the noise, when he finally notice the pair.
"Where are those guys... Oh, Flapjack... Mo... where have you guys been? C'mon we have an important job to finish"
Bo'Non'as, hoping he was reprising the role of Flapjack, "What's our job again?"
"Oh Flapjack, you're so dumb. We need to complete this lift for the Lightning God, so as the leader of the Kurabanda, his feet may never touch the ground to stand again."
"Where's the Lightning God?"
"Back at the Lightning Palace at the village. C'mon, I have no idea where Guac dashed to, how are we supposed to carry the Lightning God with only three guys?"
"Mo, why are you so quiet."
Mo/Uha'ul pondered the situation, made some calculations in his head, and quickly set up a 2-1 arrangement, with Mo taking the weight in the back all alone. He still wasn't quite sure what Mo's job in the new village was, but Uha'ul had carried water for enough years to brunt the burden, especially one he was probably never going to bear.
"That hit in the head got you smarter. Let's bring it back to the Lightning Village. Flapjack it's your turn to cook for the village? Whadyou cook before."
In his best deadpan, Flapjack/Bo'Non'as eeked out, "Crepes."
"Sounds weird. Can't wait to try them."
The Lightning Village was a hastily assembled series of platforms and buildings that was far safer that it led out. No one could see the the previously mentioned Lightning Palace, but the most dominant feature was a giant barracks. The North was prepared for war.
At the Yellowback Village, Oopsa finally had a moment of rest, the Chosen One, Dipsa, all four years old of her, had finally gone down for a much needed nap. The world was quiet... for once. Sleeping on the Chosen One throne, legs over the armrests, he heard a frightening scream..
"You're the worst son-in-law ever!"
There, in the middle of the throne room, was Mida-Wap's father... his father-in-law, with two major changes. He was glowing red... and he had died yesterday during the wedding.
"You disgust me, you couldn't even keep us safe... this, on my daughter's wedding day."
"I'm not that bad...."
"I will curse and haunt you forever, if not longer. I will ruin every other thing that makes you happy."
"Like what?"
"Well....What does make you happy?"
"Besides the love and affection of your daughter? My vintage collection of oak bark."
And after that odd exchange, the ghost of Oopsa's recently deceased father-in-law dissipated.
Back at the Lightning Village, Flapjack and Mo entered the barracks. The building was huge for the small Kurabanda, with the ceiling almost three kurabanda tall (3 meters). They found the kitchen, and Bo'/Flapjack went to work on making dinner.
Meanwhile, Mo'/Uha'ul searched for some God-Tech in the storage area... and found something. While Flapjack cooked, he assembled a power source using a long red rectangular box with two electrodes "wire thingies" sticking out of the unit. He hooked it up to two solanum, tuber vegetables, that grew around the base of the giant trees the Kurabanda called home.
... and also the key ingredient in Flapjack's Crepes, more of Solanum Chowder. The accompaniment was quick-fermented solanum into a "tuber wine" of sorts.
As the rival Kurabanda assembled to eat dinner, Flapjack put the finishing touches on his meal/drink, and Mo' finished created a makeshift vest for his power supply, and at least a dozen solanum sewed one, all attached by wires.
Everyone paused at the ochre-colored soup (and wine), but everyone appreciated the taste (and buzz) of their meal.
A crackle ripped through the in the sky outside. The Lightning God had arrived for dinner. He was much larger than the Kurabanda, with reflective goggles and Space God appropriate clothing and gear. He entered the barracks, hovering three foot up, with lightning shooting out of his hands.
The other villagers erupted in adoration.
He responded with thumbs up and finger guns to his loyal subjects
Uha'ul whispered to Bo'Non'as, "He's here, now what do we do?"
"I don't know! You're the one that made a Tuber Vest. I'm not much help right now, "I've been drinking solamun wine cooking dinner, I can't feel my face..."
Uha'ul carried a goblet of solamun wine right up to the Lightning God.
"Great Lightning God..."
"That's me!"
"Here is the labor of our late afternoon, I hope you approve."
The Lightning God to a hard swig.
"I've had stronger stuff up in Space Heaven, but this is pretty good. Is there a second goblet for the Lightning God."
Uha'ul quickly fetched another goblet, and the Lightning God downed it even faster.
"You guys know how to party, what's your name again?
"Uha'ul"
Bo'Non'as life flashed before his eyes.
The Lightning God announced to his people, "With this drink, we will be immortal forever. We can defeat the other Space Gods and the mortal Kurabanda. The planet shall be ours!"
"But first, let's all do shots of tuber wine together!"
"To JackFlap and Haulyo'ass!"
Most of the villagers finished their meals and escaped the confines of the barracks....
After an hour of drinking, the Lightning God finally appeared to be under the effects of the liquor.
"Lightning Gods usually don't get this sort of hospitality. Did I ever tell you about The Thunder?"
The remaining villagers groaned but nodded. Uha'ul inquired as to details.
"Thunder is my brother. He's evil, but in a good way, not the bad lady leaving the Space Gods alone at the palace evil. I lead, thunder cleans up the mess. That's why it's so sad that his armies will be conquered after we conquer the mortal Kurabanda for all the potass. "
Uha'ul needed to strike at that moment, He took his wires and stabbed them into the Lightning God's hands, which are fingerless gloves... attached to other wires leading other his clothing.
The two felt a tingling sensation, but feared to move. Kurabanda around them saw a faint yellow glow around them, until a Kurabanda much too curious touched the locked pair. A loud pop and the smell of singed hair was all that was left of the creature.
The Lightning God eyed "Uha'ul"
"Uha'ul what's your real name?"
"Whaty'da mean, uh... Sir?"
"Obviously, your a spy for the mortals. What did you think you could accomplish by getting drunk me."
Another cup of wine offered, and he accepted the goblet, put also grabbed Flajck/Bo by the arm.
"You're spying is going to hurt a bunch of innocent Kurabanda, starting with Flapjack here. The battery pack you dug up is fried, and mine still working, Uha'ul. Another moment of "symetry" will not go as well for you. As the Lightning God, I can just kill everyone here and move onto the next village."
Bo'Non'as reached for the pot of solanum soup, and dumped the semi-warm contents into the Lightning God's groin.
The combat quickly devolved into tuber-chucking, pot-swinging, shock-glove short-circuiting chaos.
Uha'ul, armed with a tuber and knowledge, like an Irish scientist, chucked it right at the Lightning God's head, mashing his face.
Bo'Non'as grabbed a gourd holding a candle and tried to bash it over the Lightning God's head. The free shock-glove swung up and caught the gourd. Electricity disentigrated the gourd and sent Uha'ul flying back.
Uha'ul grabbed a grass woven tablecloth and wrapped up one of the Lightning God's shock glove up.
"Why won't you stupid monkey-creatures just die so I can conquer the other Gods?"
Uha'ul asked quizzically, "What's a monkey?" and wrapped the other end of the tablecloth around the Lightning God's head.
The God lost his balance, and he fell atop of Uhu'al. The free shock glove hit the two of them, paralyzing both.
A recovered Bo'Non'as, grabbed the closest object he could reach, a wooden soup ladle, and beat the Lightning God to death.
"You got served!"
The crowd of villagers outside erupted in chants for their new warlord,
"Flapjack! Flapjack!"
Back of the Village of the Yellowbacks, Oopsa was relaxing with his cup of hot potass, when a guard ran up to him.
"Great Oopsa, Bo'Non'as has arrived with members of the northern tribe."
"Great, how many did he convert?"
"The guard spied down the platform from the north, it doesn't look like any sir, but they all followed him back.
Oopsa spied out past the village. Both Bo'Non'as and Uha'ul were both hauling ass down the main platform from the north. Behind him appeared to be the entire norther tribe, in face paint.
Something went wrong.
GM Notes: As the final fight with the Lightning God commenced, I was accused of mixing too much of my Illuminati University game into my Star Wars game. Truth be told, Bo'Non'as and Oopsa was meant to be a one-time scene-filler, not an ever evolving-game of a planet the regular PCs have long forgotten.
NEXT: Episode #4 Against the Horde of the Lightning God
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