Our heroes, the De Facto Explorers, are about to embark on a grand adventure.... or have just become bounty hunters.
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Sneaky Pete: A mutated weasel scout. Pete's telepathy and night vision take a backseat when he whips out his electrical powers.
Sonny Helianthus: a sentient sunflower artifact examiner with trusted Restorationist ties. Knowledgeable, but not a good one with device repairs or upgrades.
Slitheran Wurmtail (aka Squiggles): a mutated earthworm scout, in impromptu power armor, looking for trouble, and finding it often. Previously "gave birth" to a litter of sentient earthworm babies, but recently has been subject to genetic testing and developed super-human strength, a more human body, and a thick coat of shaggy white hair.
Lathar Bracken: A pure-strain human from River Bend. He's got the muscle, the face, and a mount for most encounters. Lathar's trusty beast of burden, No Name, travels wherever he does. No Name has recently been fitted for a artillery device of the Ancients that chucks spears further than any human. Looking for trouble in all the right places. Former jousting champion of Fair-Town and has been awarded... a peacock he has named Chambray.
RHA-9: A lab assistant piece of "Living Metal" that seems to have befriended the group... for now! Currently getting repairs done by the Restorationists.
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With things as resolved as they could get at home in River Bend, the explorers decided to venture downriver to KIA Academy. There would be a stop in Fair Town for some business, but everyone was intrigued by rumors of a mutant horse-man made of solid stone, terrorizing the KIA Academy do much, they sent messengers to surrounding towns declaring a sizable bounty on the creature.
Most of the Explorers, including RHA-9 were packed and ready to go, but Lathar and Pete still debated how to get rid of the kegs of mead.
"Lathar, you need to do all the negotiations. I'm a decent looking weasel but you've got the golden locks and golden voice to sell this."
They finally decided to visit one of their usual watering holes, Ye New Leaping Happy Eagle, and spoke to the bartender Yulwell.
Yulwell was impressed by the quality of the drink, but overwhelmed by the sheer size of a full-size keg. 600 domars was not something he had available. Lathar and Pete made an executive decison for a discount and a half-down, with the remainder due within a month. They shook on it.
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| Ye New Leaping Happy Eagle |
Pete and Lathar were elated, and despite having a whole extra barrel left over to store, Lathar was finally raring to travel to Fair Town... to buy more.
"Squiggles, where's your smart daughter, the Keg? "
"She identifies as Sophie the Keg now... She got a good job at the Leaping Drunken Keg."
"She seems pretty smart, if we're not back in time to collect, we can have her come over. "
After making arrangements with Sophie the Keg, the Explorers finally left... for Fair Town.
The travel was brisk, as was the weather. Few leaves were on the trees, and there didn't appear to be any major events happening at Fair Town. Most businesses were still open, just with quite deserted streets.
Squiggles kept an active eye for another mutant earthworm, but it was getting cold, and he was now with a white furry coat.
Pete looked around, trying to find a calendar for the next joust, but in talking with the merchants, there was no joust until the Spring.
It took a few conversations, but they were guided to a jeweler on the edge of of town: a jeweler of one Yaris Darling.
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| Yaris Darling |
Darling seemed quite interested in the gold bars, as they would complete a significant project and gave a less insulting prices for five bars.
Lathar chimed in, "I think you can do better than that."
Now Yaris looked insulted, "I am barely making a profit for that price, and unless you are going to do all the smelting and casting... shirtless, it's the the best I can do." She ran a finger down the center of Lathar's chest, to his v-neck vest.
Sonny agreed to the original offer, before Lathar made a new lifestyle choice.
With the domars burning a hole in their pouches, Lathar and Pete decided to head back to the Wrong Celery to negotiate the next keg of mead.
Sonny was astonished.
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| The Wrong Celery (NightCafe) |
Pete said, "Sonny, you never got here last time we visited?"
"You mentioned it off-handedly, but I never got into this place." Sonny responded.
There was a hardier plant clientele than before, possibly due to the fall weather.
Duncan, the coffee bush bartender was impressed, "You finally brought proper clientele." noting Sonny. "What are you having Sunshine?"
Lathar arranged to put up a deposit on another keg of coffee mead, to pick up after they returned from KIA Academy.
The group sat down for a drink, but by round two, Pete, Squiggles, and Sonny looked like they were day-drinking.
Lathar figured this intoxication was a little faster than normal, although a drunk Sonny was a new concept.
"How are you Squiggles?"
"I'm fine!" Squiggles replied, as he collapsed onto the floor.
Lathar began to collect his compatriots to at least get them into the cart and get them to the Triple Comfort Inn. He put the larger furry earthworm into fireman's carry.
Squiggles yelled out, 'I'm a scarf" before landing in the back of the cart.
Lathar returned to the bar, to find a two-foot tall mushroom on their table. He appeared angry, and was wielding two meat cleavers, staring intently at Lathar.
"You've shown up to the wrong place. Gundar the Meat-Tamer will show you a lesson! "
Pete looked up from the floor, "I always though this was a seedy joint."
"I have spores! Stupid Meatbags!"
Lathar attempted to unsling his rifle off of his back, but the fungi took two steps and flew at him with his meat cleavers.
Lathar made repeated jumps to get out of the way of the wildly winging mushroom. No one noticed the bowl of peanuts from the bar slowly floating off the bar and out the door. Squiggles, back in the cart, and telekinetically moving the bowl slowly, outside so he could have a snack.
Lathar hit this Gundar with his sword, but the mushroom took it proudly. A subsequent swing hit a floating bowl of peanuts sending them flying.
The flying peanuts somehow enraged the mushroom further, "Get your friends out of here!" still swinging without any sense of precision. Lathar tried one last great swing from his sword, which missed Gundar, but sent him jumping back out of the way, knocking over a number of stools and ending up under another hightop tables.
Sonny, regaining consciousness, "Lathar is a mighty warrior. It would be wise to avoid his meat prowess!"
This allowed Lathar enough time to pick up the his sunflower and weasel. The two
"Where are my nuts?" the earthworm inquired.
"Do worms have those?" a confused Lathar inquired. "Let's get out of here!"
"Is there a drive-thru we can stop at? I'm hungry..."
With RHA-9 rolling beside it, Lathar took the cart down the street. The voice of Gundar the Meat-Tamer could still be heard screaming from the doorway of the Wrong Celery.
"THAT'S RIGHT MEAT BAGS!!! SUCUMB TO THE POWER OF GUNDAR! REALLY, COME BACK AND SUBMIT. THIS DIDN'T WORK OUT LIKE I HAD PLANNED!"
Pulling up to the Triple Comfort, Pete had regained some control, and had heard Squiggle's nut ramblings. "What type of mutant plant bar serves peanuts?"
Squiggles retorted, "They do if the brand is Planters..."
***FADE TO BLACK / END CREDITS***
Next: #45 - The Great Overpass
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