"The Ballad of the Mighty Leek"

 "The Ballad of the Mighty Leek"

(A haunting tune sung in dimly lit wasteland taverns, where mutants sip questionable moonshine and remember fallen heroes.)

(Slow, eerie strumming on a cracked-up acoustic guitar, with the occasional melancholic howl from a mutant wind in the background.)

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[Verse 1]

Gather 'round, you mutants bold,
Hear a tale both dark and cold,
Of a hero tall and green,
A warrior lost to the cookfire’s steam.

[Chorus]

Oh, Mighty Leek, you fought so well,
Struck down by a dinner bell!
Blades and lasers could not fell,
But hunger rang your final knell…

(Low whistle solo, followed by the distant clang of a rusted pot lid.)

[Verse 2]

He led the charge with sharpened leaves,
Carved through foes like autumn sheaves,
Stood his ground in battle’s heat,
Till fate betrayed him to boiling defeat.

[Chorus – Soft, then rising]

Oh, Mighty Leek, you fought so well,
Struck down by a dinner bell!
Blades and lasers could not fell,
But hunger rang your final knell…

(Distant sound of a ladle stirring… the wind howls mournfully.)

[Bridge]

No grave remains, no stone to mark,
Just whispers carried through the dark,
They say his soul still stirs the pot,
A warrior’s spirit, forever hot.

[Final Chorus – Slow, fading]

Oh, Mighty Leek, you fought so well,
Struck down by a dinner bell…
Blades and lasers could not fell…
But hunger rang your final knell…

(Song ends with a single, eerie slurp sound… then silence.)