(Gnome Wars) AAR: Battle of St. Abe

This weekend was Fall-in! in Lancaster and my buddy's rockin' Halloween party. Due to family and financial reasons it was deemed improper to spend the day travelling. I had planned a Saturday of raking leaves, cleaning up around the house, and possibly run a few errands.

That was before my buddy Brian called on Friday, seeing if I was going to either. To make a long story short, he still wanted to game, I wanted to game, and since there was no Gnome Wars in the PEL this year, he decided to come up today and slap some gnomes on the table.

Since the garage still has heating/electrical issues to resolved, we set up the board on the dining room table.
**WARNING WARNING - Unpainted/Primer only lead, out of scale buildings, and "wrong" items used as terrain. Kindly deal with it or suck an egg. Thank you**

The quaint little village of St. Abe, know for its roads of "Cheese"

The village of St. Abe is patterned after some pictures from Wargames Illustrated #264 last year. Warbands of Scottish Highlanders allied to the Germans have been a scourge to the Swiss countryside. The village of St. Abe was where the Swiss wanted to put an end to it. The Swiss 14th Infantry set up a barbed wire fence and barricades on the bridge to the village and deployed only a few troops near it to lure the Highlanders in. We both agreed that it would work, and play ensued.

Turn 1: The bagpipes sounded and the Scout unit charged forward, the light machine gun setting up early to pepper some Swiss defenses down the road. The Swiss took some shots and fell back, as the troops in town wound up the Bicycle tank. The tank stormed out of the town .

Turn 2: The Swiss took the initiative and the Bicycle tank's machine gun opened up the Highlander scouts trying to take cover behind the bridge. It was a bloody affair. The Cheese Grenadier chucked a hunk of Limburger at the Highlander leader, and it forced him to move forward and through the barbed wire. The Highlanders focused their fire on the bicycle tank. We agreed due to the lack of firepower, that the bicycle could be hit by small arms fire if the figure needed better than a 6 to and rolled a 6. We would consult the light mortar chart, so there was a 50/50 shot the tank would tank a hit. First hit knocked out the gunner, dropping the machine gun to 4d. Second hit destroyed the tank outright.

The Scout leader charged the Cheese Grenadier, but in a sight that shocked all, the Grenadier shoved some cheese in his face and took him out of the game. As things looked bleak for the Highlanders, the rest of their unit came storming down the road.

Turn 3: Another blow of the bagpipes and the mainbody of the Highlanders met up with their decimated scout brothers, and procedure to unleash hell on the Bicycle Tank, outright destroying it. The Berserker Champion and two lochbars used their weapons to knock down the barbed wire. The Swiss continued making pot shots with little success. A unit of pickaxes was moved from the church closer the treeline the others were hiding in.

Turn 4: The Swiss Cheese Grenadier threw another hunk of dairy at one of the lochbars at the barbed wire, causing him to charge forward into base to base contact. Again the brave grenadier won a melee against a superior. So lucky was this gnome that he survived a barrage of fire from four Highlander Arquebus coming over the bridge. At the end of turn, reinforcements arrived in the form of "Silver's Raiders" and unprimed Highlander unit, and the 27th Swiss Colonial Infantry, a unit of Eureka teddy bears my 18-month old daughter picked out before she and my wife left to go shopping.

Turn 4: The Cheese Stand Alone

Turn 5: Our fearless Cheese Grenadier chucked another hunk of fromage, this time at the line of arquebus, scattering them before he disapeared into the woods. The Highlanders machine gun was moved to the top of the bridge and Silver's Raiders begain the pour onto the bridge. Survivors of the first unit began a hunt for the Cheese Grenadier.

Turn 6: The Swiss Colonial Teddy Bears were rushed to the treeline, prepared to charge the bridge to take out the machine gun. The Highlanders had other thoughts as the bagpipes blew and Silver's Raiders came charging over the bridge, just short of the other side of the treeline. The original scout unit took positions on their flanks, one side hunting for the notorious Cheese Grenadier, the other taking out the few Swiss 14th left behind some sandbags defenses. Despite the best effort of the St. Bernard, the 14th were dwindling fast.

Turn 6: So Close, Yet So Far...

Turn 7: The Swiss 14th made a few last-ditch efforts. The 14's Bier Maid had snuck around the woods during the healing phase (healing a certain Cheese Grenadier that may have been mentioned earlier,) and charged the Scout units Bier Maid. The Swiss Maid fell quickly to overwhelming odds.

Maid on Maid Action

Silver's Raiders charged through the treeline into the Teddy Bear Colonials. It was a massive 16-on-14 melee, and after the two turns were done, both sides decimated the other, but only the Teddy Bear Captain Fuzzy and his trusty flagbearer Lance against the horde of Scots. The Last Moments of the Teddy Bear Colonials

On the Teddy Bear Colonials turn, the valiantly took out two more Highlanders until they were ultimately cut down. The remaining Highlander Scouts wiped out the 14th Swiss Grenadiers and Arquebus, leaving only the melee unit.

Turn 8: The Swiss melee group pounced on Silver's Raiders, but the dice gods were not fair and they were slaughtered to the man. Looking at the board, only Highlanders remained, however they had no officers or champions among them. Technically, when all a unit's leaders are removed from play, the unit automatically routs, but we didn't call it two turns earlier. Despite making the victory feel a bit less exciting, are initial reaction was actually correct. Although none of the reference sheets had it listed, Highlanders never check morale! Let's just say I REALLY hope Jim has GW 2.0 ready soon, I need a little continuity and an easier reference book.

What we thought at the end of the game as a minor Highlander victory, actually was a major victory for those crazy Scots. Their raiding forces have been significantly weakened, but I do have some time to figure out the exact effects (there are no Highlanders in East Africa).

And for a little explanation on the name of the battle. At the very end, when we lined up the Teddy Bears and Scots for the massive melee, my lovely wife and daughter arrived home with a bag of Abe's Hot Dogs, a Wilkes-Barre institution. I figured it was only appropriate.

And an FYI, as I review the pics. I actually used the cheese thrower templates for the roads.