(RISUS) Loren Stutts, Protector of Freedom and Community Standards

Early on during the pandemic, I ran some connected one-shots online: Bigg Melons in the Time of COVID and The Great Hall of COVIDiots, again using Risus for mechanics and Coffee Shop by James d'Amato for set-up.

I already used this photo multiple times for posts, but it warrants some stats. 

Loren Stutts, Protector of Freedom and Community Standards

Retired Navy Vet (Brown Water Vietnam) with a lot of free time on his hands (4)

State-Renowned Model Ship in a Bottle Hobbyist (3) 

Fledgling Internet Scholar (2)

Fervent protector and legal interpreter of individual freedom, personal rights, and medical research (1)

Loren's a good guy.  Always has been.  Church some Sundays, Salvation Army kettle every Christmas, and he participated in the Toys for Tots motorcycle run until his hip replacement failed and he was forced to sell his Harley.  

When COVID first hit, he tried to follow all the guidelines, but the were getting complicated.  However, the man simply could not stay at home and with help of a friend on an internet message board who believed in God, Firearms, and the links to the Gnomes of Zurich to financial institutions and barber shops all through Idaho, he was gifted an ingenious item.  A hat made out of the pool noodles gave him enough space to go down the aisles of local stores without everyone giving him dirty looks for not wearing a masks.  Strange looks, yes, but not dirty one.  

As the months wore on, Loren has attracted a new group of friends.  A bit rougher around the edges than his buddies he sees at the VA, but they drink the right beer, like the same music, and seem to agree with every word he says about the government's ridiculous response to the pandemic.

In truth, a sorcerer of chaos who happened upon Loren's posts on the internet, gifted him a Helm of Covfefe,  masked as a crazy mass of pool noodles.  The Helm slowly influences, then all-out mind controls people around the controller.   Loren has made mention about wishing some local government leaders and loudmouths would simply disappear.  He's yet to connect the dots and realize his new friends are fervent worshippers of him and have kidnapped, tortured, and even sacrificed some of the mentioned people to the Chaos Gods, and possibly the newest Chaos God, Loren himself.