Last week marked at big accomplishment for our Monday night online gaming group.
For the first time in MONTHS, we actually gamed.
Adding special guest, the renowned Gnome Guy himself, Jim Stanton, the usual suspects had another go at James D'Amato's Coffee Shop to engineer a retail setting for a one-shot using Risus.
Using my only guidelines, a modern electronics store... and it couldn't be the last Radio Shack, the guys created Shockers Electronics... and Kegerators. It's decor (and employees) stuck in the last 80's, it was the best spot in the Quad Counties for all your battery needs, particularly 9-volts. Unfortunately those days were numbered, because if Grunge and the 90s didn't kill them off, eminent domain for a new interstate would make that happen any day now.
The PC Employees
Things devolve further, as Manfred Lickbottom, county health inspector, makes his way through the front doors for a scheduled inspection.
Shawn blocks the few of his illogical carnage from Manfred as Steve from Produce dashes over and frees come Vietnam Vets on scooters from the TP Pile-Up and sends to in the direction of the bread. Craig the Bread Guy, never same the slow moving vets coming and quickly succumbed to injuries.
#RIPCraig
On top of that, he hastily pulled a women with a walker out of the fray. The tennis ball covering the legs fell off and the legs impaled Steve in the foot.
Terry finally left the meat department, where he was displaying the meat alphabetically by type, then by size, and came over the the TP aisle. Jeff had been trapped in the TP aisle and was trying to soothe the elderly with his Melodica. Terry used his customer service savvy to distract the seniors from panicking.
Using electronic store sign language Terry told Jeff to steal all the batteries out of the scooters, where the trapped old timers could be pulled out one by one.
As he completed removing the batteries, Jeff came face to face with dozens of snakes pouring out from under shelves. He held his cool, but with the first woman's screams, mobility challenged geezers staggered in every direction. Terry narrowly missed getting crushed by an endcap of canned hams, but the display managed to crush poor Gladys Runger of Rosecrest Gardens. In a rather dark turn of events, Terry pulled out his meat cleaver and chopped off Gladys' legs poking out from under the endcap.
"Blood's a demerit, visible meat on the ground is an automatic fine..."
As to be expected, things got a little bit... fuzzy, at that point.
Shawn managed to escort Manfred to the doors of the meat department/back storeroom, with only a few odd glances of snakes in the deli counter. They met Terry, who was given demerits for his blood streaked face (use a face shield next time!) but no one question the women's lower legs he was holding (wearing gloves, way to go!)
Shawn had Steve grab the forklight and grab the pickle barrel that hadn't been on display since 1978... and also hadn't been emptied at that time either. Now, Jeff had concocted a device out of all of the batteries he stole to electrocute most of the snakes, but prehistoric pickle juice and smoke bombs were the company policy for snakes.
The problem? Steve had already lost his forklift operator certification and the quickly reminded everyone why that happened.
The pickle juice barrel blocking his sight, Steve crashed through the stockroom doors with the lift up, ripping apart the wall, and having the debris knock him unconscious. The forklift steamed it's way towards frozen food with Steve out like a light.
There were many heroes, but none greater than Terry and Shawn, who convinced the health inspector the social distancing taboos were happening the parking lot, and only Manfred had the authority to stop them. Once he was out the door, Shawn saw the runaway forklift, crashing through the frozen food cases, dove over to a display of Pepsi Max shaped like a football and started chucking footballs to block the wheels of the machine.
He did succeed in stopping it, but with one final lurch, the pickle juice tipped over onto the scooter-riding vets.
... at least this opening was better than yesterday's Early Bird Hour.
For the first time in MONTHS, we actually gamed.
Adding special guest, the renowned Gnome Guy himself, Jim Stanton, the usual suspects had another go at James D'Amato's Coffee Shop to engineer a retail setting for a one-shot using Risus.
Using my only guidelines, a modern electronics store... and it couldn't be the last Radio Shack, the guys created Shockers Electronics... and Kegerators. It's decor (and employees) stuck in the last 80's, it was the best spot in the Quad Counties for all your battery needs, particularly 9-volts. Unfortunately those days were numbered, because if Grunge and the 90s didn't kill them off, eminent domain for a new interstate would make that happen any day now.
The PC Employees
- Steve (Played by Sean) The repair guy who drove around a white van to do repairs. His family ran a small candy company, so he was known to stop and give kids candy out of the van.
- Terry Decimal (Jim) - The quintessential customer service guy at the store.. and the only one who could talk to chicks. A beer league hockey goalie and secret alcholic.
- Jeff (Jeff) - The high-powered, high pressure salesman in the stereo department. Power suits, power ties, shoulder pads, with the Wall Street attitude to match.
- Shawn (Steve) - That one disgruntled customer who simply never goes home, and is always complaining, even if it didn't matter to him.
The big twist? Shocker Electronics immediately went out of business the moment the state was shut down due to COVID-19. Instead of the uncertainty of unemployment in these bleak times, the three employees got new jobs working at the Bigg Melon Market.
- Steve the Repair Guy - Got a job in Produce. He essentially squeezes the melons all day long.
- Terry - Working in the Meat Department and his drinking might be catching up to him.
- Jeff - Tries to hard sell people on milk, bread, and eggs, but his only known duty is to maintain and repair the self-cleaning robot. Funny thing, no one has ever seen the self-cleaning robot.
- Shawn - The nagging customer is actually the manager of the Supermarket.
It's 6:55am and everyone is prepping things for the 7-8 Early Bird Senior Citizen Shoppers plaguing the world of COVID. Everyone's ready, except Jeff, who staggers in the store through the employee entrance. He's dressed like a bad reject from Miami Vice, save the large coffee stain.
7:00am - Shawn opens the doors to 98 seniors, most in scooters, pushing walkers, or wielding weapons, correction, canes... and zero masks or gloves. Shawn performs some acrobatics jumping from one register to the next, finally reaching lane 17 and the only working microphone to announce a special on toilet paper.
Only problem, no one restocked the TP from the overnight.
7:00am - Shawn opens the doors to 98 seniors, most in scooters, pushing walkers, or wielding weapons, correction, canes... and zero masks or gloves. Shawn performs some acrobatics jumping from one register to the next, finally reaching lane 17 and the only working microphone to announce a special on toilet paper.
Only problem, no one restocked the TP from the overnight.
Shawn blocks the few of his illogical carnage from Manfred as Steve from Produce dashes over and frees come Vietnam Vets on scooters from the TP Pile-Up and sends to in the direction of the bread. Craig the Bread Guy, never same the slow moving vets coming and quickly succumbed to injuries.
#RIPCraig
On top of that, he hastily pulled a women with a walker out of the fray. The tennis ball covering the legs fell off and the legs impaled Steve in the foot.
Terry finally left the meat department, where he was displaying the meat alphabetically by type, then by size, and came over the the TP aisle. Jeff had been trapped in the TP aisle and was trying to soothe the elderly with his Melodica. Terry used his customer service savvy to distract the seniors from panicking.
Using electronic store sign language Terry told Jeff to steal all the batteries out of the scooters, where the trapped old timers could be pulled out one by one.
As he completed removing the batteries, Jeff came face to face with dozens of snakes pouring out from under shelves. He held his cool, but with the first woman's screams, mobility challenged geezers staggered in every direction. Terry narrowly missed getting crushed by an endcap of canned hams, but the display managed to crush poor Gladys Runger of Rosecrest Gardens. In a rather dark turn of events, Terry pulled out his meat cleaver and chopped off Gladys' legs poking out from under the endcap.
"Blood's a demerit, visible meat on the ground is an automatic fine..."
As to be expected, things got a little bit... fuzzy, at that point.
Shawn managed to escort Manfred to the doors of the meat department/back storeroom, with only a few odd glances of snakes in the deli counter. They met Terry, who was given demerits for his blood streaked face (use a face shield next time!) but no one question the women's lower legs he was holding (wearing gloves, way to go!)
Shawn had Steve grab the forklight and grab the pickle barrel that hadn't been on display since 1978... and also hadn't been emptied at that time either. Now, Jeff had concocted a device out of all of the batteries he stole to electrocute most of the snakes, but prehistoric pickle juice and smoke bombs were the company policy for snakes.
The problem? Steve had already lost his forklift operator certification and the quickly reminded everyone why that happened.
The pickle juice barrel blocking his sight, Steve crashed through the stockroom doors with the lift up, ripping apart the wall, and having the debris knock him unconscious. The forklift steamed it's way towards frozen food with Steve out like a light.
There were many heroes, but none greater than Terry and Shawn, who convinced the health inspector the social distancing taboos were happening the parking lot, and only Manfred had the authority to stop them. Once he was out the door, Shawn saw the runaway forklift, crashing through the frozen food cases, dove over to a display of Pepsi Max shaped like a football and started chucking footballs to block the wheels of the machine.
He did succeed in stopping it, but with one final lurch, the pickle juice tipped over onto the scooter-riding vets.
... at least this opening was better than yesterday's Early Bird Hour.
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