Monday, April 30, 2018

(Kickstarter) Cowboy Riding a Jackalope?

From the same folks you brought you War in Christmas Village, comes a very simple a Kickstarter... for a single mounted figure:  A Cowboy Riding a Jackalope in 28mm PVC.

It's definitely a conversation piece, but a single rider & mount is $25 (+$10 S&H).   However, if you want a whole unit of these varmints (10!) it's $120  (+$20 S&H), a much more reasonable rate.

Apathy of the New Releases (May '18)

Another month, another Game Trade Magazine from Alliance Game Distribution.  I've gotten their online release of their pdf down, so it looks like future lists and comments on upcoming gaming product will be posted on the 28th of each month, after April.

Here's all the cool stuff out of Game Trade Magazine #219

ViscountEric's Want List
Ninja Division Games
My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria - Offical Movie Sourcebook .... $24.99
Yeah, I'm still a pony guy, but not a brony.  Here's hoping the girls continue to like it.

Reaper Miniatures
Bones Wild West Wizard of Oz (WWWOZ)  DOROTHY RPR 80062...... $2.79
Bones WWWOZ  LION RPR 80058  ............... $2.99
Bones WWWOZ TIN MAN RPR 80057 ........ $2.79
Bones WWWOZ WICKED WITCH RPR 80060 .......$2.99
Bones WWWOZ WINGED MONKEY RPR 80061 ...$2.79
The Bones from the latest Kickstarter are getting released a bunch at a time....  I don't mind grabbing these guys piecemeal, especially since I'm looking at mutliple winged monkeys.  But then again, who isn't?

ViscountEric's Money-Is-No-Object List
Atlas Games
Beating the Story by Robin D Laws................................................. $19.95
Friendly Local Game Store by Gary Ray ........................................ $24.95
Probably required reading for GMs and Store Owners, accordingly.


The Imaginary Store (The Pegleg Gnome) List
ALC Studio
Highlander: The Board Game ............................................................ $35.00

Arc Dream Publishing
Delta Green RPG:  A Victim of the Art ............................................ $14.99
Delta Green RPG:  Sweetness ........................................................... $14.99
Delta Green RPG:  Viscid ................................................................. $14.99

Brotherwise Games
Boss Monster: Rise of the Minibosses .............................................. $24.95

Catalyst Game Labs
Battletech: Beginner Box ................................................................. $19.99
Battletech: Map Set .......................................................................... $29.99

Compass Games
Battle Hymn: Vol 1 - Gettysburg and Pea Ridge ............................. $79.00
Empires and Alliances ..................................................................... $99.00

Fantasy Flight Games
Star Wars Legion:  Barricades Packs ............................................. $14.95
Star Wars Legion: Desert Junkyard Gamemat ............................... PI
Star Wars Legion: Desert Ruins Gamemat .................................... PI
Star Wars Legion:Priority Supplies Expansion .............................. $24.95

FASA Games
1879: London: The Haunted City .................................................. $31.99

Gemstone 
Overstreet Guide to Collecting Tabletop Games ........................... PI
I don't think this is Overstreet's first foray into the TTGs, but it might be the reason I can't bottom-feed at the local auction anymore.  

IDW Games
Munchkin: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles .................................... $24.95

Kobold Press
D&D: Midgard GM Screen ......................................................... $15.99
D&D: Midgard Heroes Handbook .............................................. $49.99
Pathfinder: Midgard GM Screen  ................................................ $15.99
Pathfinder: Midgard Player's Guide ............................................ $39.99
Midgard Worldbook .................................................................... $49.99
The multiple rulebooks makes players go ga-ga, and game stores shake their heads.  

Modiphius
Star Trek Adventures:  Command Division ................................ $34.99
Star Trek Adventures:  Next Generation Away Team Minis ...... $49.99

Mongoose Publishing
Paranoia: Implausible Deniability .............................................. $19.99
Paranoia: Yellow Clearance Black Box Blues (Remastered) .... $49.99
Traveller: Great Rift Adv #3: Flatlined ...................................... $19.99
Traveller: Marches Adventure 2: Mission to Mithril ................. $19.99

Osprey Publishing
Judge Dredd: The Cursed Earth- An Expedition Game ............ $34.00

Paizo Publishing
Pathfinder Adv Card Game: Ultimate Wilderness Add-On Deck .... $19.99
Pathfinder RPG: AP War for the Crown Pt 6 - Six Legged Soul...... $24.99
Pathfinder RPG: Bestiary 5 (Pocket Edition) ..................................  $19.99
Pathfinder RPG: Flip Mat Classics - Watch Station ........................  $13.99
Pathfinder RPG: Flip Mat Forests Multi-pack ................................  $24.99
Pathfinder RPG: Player Comp: Heroes from the Fringe .................  $14.99
Pathfinder RPG: Ultimate Combat (Pocket Edition) ......................  $19.99
Starfinder RPG: Armory HC ..........................................................  $39.99
Starfinder RPG: Flip-Mat Asteroid ................................................  $14.99

Pinnacle Entertainment Group
Savage Worlds RPG: Beasts and Barbarians Deck of Cards ......... $12.00
Savage Worlds RPG: Beasts and Barbarians GM Screen .............. $25.00
Savage Worlds RPG: Beasts and Barbarians GM Guide ............... $25.00
Savage Worlds RPG: Beasts and Barbarians Player Guide ........... $25.00
Savage Worlds RPG: Beasts and Barbarians Steel Ed Boxed Set.. $115.00

Reaper Miniatures
As I noted in my want list, it's a mass wave release of Reaper Bones figures from the latest Kickstarter. I will add, despite the giants getting pushed off the painting bench for now, they were an absolute steal in the Kickstarter.   

Slugfest Games
Red Dragon Inn:  Battle for Greyport: Pirates! ............................. $24.95

Triple Ace Games
Leagues of Cthulhu ....................................................................... $17.99

Wizards of the Coast
Axis & Allies & Zombies ................................................. PI
As the kids say, "I..... can't..... even....."

Betrayal Legacy ............................................................... PI

Magic the Gathering: Core 2019 (July 2018 Release)
Not following all the MTG news, but it appears they're reverting back to a long-running Core Set with rotating expansions.  Boosters, Bundles, Planeswalker Decks, and Deckbuilder's Tookits Available.

WizKids
Another giant wave of the D&D pre-primed unpainted minis.  I'll need to take a better look at tables at the con to see if anyone uses them. I see them stocked, but I don't see them moving at the FLGSes.

Mage Knight Board Game Ultimate Edition ................................ $124.99
Some games simply refuse to die....

Magic the Gathering Heroes of Dominaria Board Game ...........  $59.99
Premium Edition is $79.99.  How much better will this be than the mass market Magic board games that ended up at Five Below?

Magic the Gathering Creature Forge Display
Although random monsters and creatures from the Magic multi-verse a la WizKids sounds great!

DC Dice Masters:  Justice Campaign Box ................................... $39.99

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Paint Brushes STAY ROCKY MOUNTAIN COLD!!!

In the waning days of the regular season for our minor league hockey franchise, there was one last Meet-and-Greet with the players, right down the road at a local pizzeria.  We're regulars to any hockey function nearby, and the kids love asking the players random questions, so it was a no-brainer. 

The best part about the last scheduled appearance of the season is that the sponsor tends to empty out the closets of freebies and giveaways, like signed equipment.  The worst part is that the sponsor is a big beer company that makes questionable swill. 

Still, with the idea of extra giveaways from a beer promotion, I bit the bullet, ordered some watered down yellow water, and got two aluminum cups to increase my chances to win. 

 In the end, we came out with just a free hat, but I did take the cups home.  Nothing exciting thus far, but a little black spray paint...
... and I have paint brush holders, one for regular, the other for drybrushes.  Beats the pencil case I've been using for them, knives, and drills since the turn of the century.  Easier to access, but they take up less space!

Thursday, April 26, 2018

28mm Single Story Building from My Gaming Table

Despite my self-imposed backlog, when I pick up something new that's this easy, it gets finished in record time.

One of my purchases from Cold Wars were some very basic MDF buildings from My Gaming Table, sold through Dave's Baggage Train.  Here's the one-story structure.

The window and door frame were a little problematic for my large fingers, but came out very nice.  The one story building with chimney variant is in the queue, waiting to get glued and primed
I had picked these over the items from Things From the Basement simply because they were cheap ($10, $12 for the one with a chimney) and pretty basic for the Mousling games, if we ever started them up.  After picking up some Mousling-esque terrain from the dollar store, I drew some inspiration from Dalauppror, and not only got an eye popping building, but also whittled down my want list for some future Pulp Campaign terrain. No more holidays in jolly old England, with a little work our heroes shall vacation in Sweden... and it keeps continuity!

My painting beer for the week has been Train Wreck Imperial APA by Rusty Rail Brewing Company.  I've appreciated various Rusty Rail brews before, but I sort of knew what was coming with the hops on the label.  I appreciate a good, hoppy beer, but this goes beyond what is necessary.  I was almost to the point where I felt like I needed to chew the hops, it was so overwhelming. 

Still, I finished my supply, so I'm not chalking it up as a loss.
In the Queue:  The next house,  Arabs, and some refurbs....

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

The Final Memories of an Era

A few weeks ago, some of the evidence of my footloose and fancy-free 20's was erased from time.

In my teens in Dreamscape Comics in Easton was my weekly hang-out for comics and gaming.  Halfway through my "career" as a game store manager, I got the privilege of not only working there, but officially managing their Bethlehem location.

After my departure in 1997, the Easton shopped closed up, and the Bethlehem location a few doors down to the corner of Second Avenue and W. Broad St.   I had disagreements with the owner, Nick, as well as problems with special orders, but I always tried to swing in while I was in the Lehigh Valley.

With Nick's death, the very, very slow process of liquidating and closing began, and wouldn't be complete until the doors were shut for good in 2014.

Recently, Steel City Comics opened up in the same location, and with some of the old inventory from Dreamscape.   It was sparser, certainly cleaner and brighter, but the old Dreamscape sign still hung over the front of the store:
Like all good things, this too came to an end earlier this year, as the Steel City owners found an old Dreamscape customer willing to purchase it and give it a spot of honor it deserves.
 And now we wait to see what sort of mark Steel City will put in its place....

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Ballad of the Pigeon God #55: Ozark of Seigeshire

Our heroes, residing at the Chateau d'Echelon, responding to trouble with the halflings in Elmshire.

Mellandria, a scholarly magic-user who barely escaped from the Magistocracy of Emron with her life (and an owl familiar, Horatio).
Sterling Riverbend, a huge quarter-ogre with a disposition slimier than his skin.  He had just gotten back from visiting his family in Omsjik.
Kane, a eastern mystic with elemental control of water.  He had discarded the adventuring life, but upon learning of the trouble in Elmshire, he dug out his old plate mail, gave Mohammad a hug, and was the first one ready to go.
Ariel the Bard, a redhead with a song in her heart, and an eye for the ladies.  Mellandria had travelled with her frequently while conducting Baron Echelon's business, but she never remembered the bard actually fighting.

20 TriDec 1072 - Village of Eding, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Our quartet of heroes rode to the Blue Wizard Inn in town.  Mellandria called out for Torm Touchberry, Captain of the Militia. Torm was quite unsettled by the "dead" Mellandria outing herself in the middle of town.

"I'm the last one left, you need my help, and Baron Timmy doesn't need to know that Talis or Echelon were still alive, since they're finally dead."

Torm nodded in agreement and took the party aside to discuss options.

"The halfling villages were all allied with Echelon and Talis against the Dread Lord.  They took out a considerable number of royal units and agents, so much so, that the King forbid even Baronial patrols to venture out there. The mayors of each village have always done well in maintaining their own militias, so we must take the threat serious.  Check out Lowdale and Welldale before arriving in Elmshire.  I would think the villages would lend on each other first for support."

22 TriDec 1072 - Lowdale, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The party arrived in Lowdale and sought out the mayor, A. Warren Corkbarrel.  He welcomed them to his home and dinner.    Rumors of orc attacks in Elmshire have started trickling into the village over a week ago. Travellers in both directions have dropped off, but no orcs had arrived in Lowdale. Extra volunteers for the militia were activated, even though it was the busy planting season.

23 TriDec 1072 - Welldale, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
They left Lowdale at dawn and arrived in Welldale by mid-morning.  The halfling hovels and homes that dotted the countryside were not surrounded by a hastily built pallisade.  Mayor Markas Homeforger knew there were orcs, goblins, and other beasts in between there and Elmshire, and he pulled most of the town into the pallisade, sending only a few crews out to plant crops... under heavy guard.

23 TriDec 1072 - Elmshire, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Nearing the Elmshire, the party encountered eight heavily armed orcs. They easily dispatched them, but 30 more snuck up behind them in a semi-circle.  After realizing how outnumbered they were, the party made a rushed retreat towards the ramshackle gates of the village.

Mellandria remembered Elmshire as the final stop before Echelon's diplomatic mission left for Ruuna, and it certainly did not have a palisade and gates surrounding it before.

After announcing themselves, the group was presented to Tanqueman the Elder, an ancient halfling who had been elected "Mayor-for-Life."

"All this misery started when Holverton the Brave, our village's hero, returned from an treasure hunting adventure.  It was sheer luck that he had returned when he did, or the village might have been overrun!  We've managed to build enough defenses to repel the attacks, but we're running low on stores and our seven best woodsmen were sent out for help.  The bodies of the seven all eventually showed up at the front gate.  It looks like our eighth best got through."

"Uh, he's not coming back, either..." Sterling remarked.

"Our hero, Holverton, is focused entirely on the defense of the village and protection of our people, so any help in ridding the surrounding woods of this orc threat is appreciated."

"I am too old and feeble to help in a fight, but my protege has been tasked to assist you."

Around the corner appeared a wizened old half-orc, nearly bent in two, struggling to walk with a gnarled cane.

"Ozark was my last protege.  I trained him in my late eighties and now, nearing the 140th year of life, he continues to serve me well.

The elderly half-orc smacked his toothless gums, pulled out a small horn and raised it to his ear.  "Who are ye???"

"Ozark wasn't the most successful cleric I had under my wing, but he always means well, and unlike myself, seems to remember to pray for spells every day."

Late that night, each of the party has rudely awoken to a gnarled cane bopping them on the head.

"Wake up, wake up, I woke up to pee and there's something milling about in the woods."

Peeking through some of the gaps in the palisade, they could see a group of orcs hiding in the treeline with some sort of battering ram.  They had just enough time to concoct an ambush right before the orcs came charging at the gate.  Completely caught off guard, the orcs were surrounded and slaughtered, with Ozark smacking them in the face with his cane and making coy remarks all the while.

"When I was your age, I could take twenty of these orcs on at a time and they begged to be resurrected so I could beat them some more!!!

24 TriDec 1072 - Elmshire, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Trying to get Holverton to make time for the party was difficult.  He spent most of his time ordering the halfling militia around to repair or reinforce the palisade.

The party also ventured out into the woods for some reconnaissance, but no matter which direction they went, the further they ventured out, the stiffer the resistance was from the orcs.

25 TriDec 1072 - Elmshire, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
While speaking with the villagers,  Merovec Puddinfoot, the furniture maker Echelon made an order with, recognized Mellandria.  Their shared allegiance of utter hatred towards the Dread Lord/King Cervinal allowed a connection the let the halfling open up later in private:

Outside of the ancient mayor, the beautiful elms, or Merovec's furniture skills, Elmshire was most notably the home of "retired adventurer" Holverton the Brave.  He took a few flunkies into the Nightwood to raid the goblin tribes or pillage some abandoned structure.  He always brought back something and divied it up with his crew in front of the adoring eyes of his fellow villagers.  This last time, none of that happened.  They just all parted their separate ways at the village green and each of them went to their homes.  A few hours later, the first orcs attacked.  Perhaps, Merovec thought, he had managed to antagonized the orcs?

With little prompting, Ariel and Kane snuck into Holverton's house while he was out inspecting the perimeter.  They did find a sack of treasure, still covered in obvious crypt dust, as well as an empty white box that could be used to hold a knife or dagger.

26 TriDec 1072 - Elmshire, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Holverton surrounded himself with a dozen lackeys, proving a simple question, much less a confrontation was not prudent.

Until another orc attack.

The orcs completely surrounded the village defenses and quickly found a few weak spots.  Halfling militia held off most, a few others escorted the women and children to a secure burrow-house, and our heroes ran to stop a break near the village mill.

Sterling, with his spetum, skewered nearly two dozen orcs all by himself. The others managed to flank the infiltrating orcs and force them to retreat into the woods.  Sterling followed the orcs, and the rest of the party foolishly followed him.
The Defense of Elmshire
The quarter-ogre hunted down the orcs with bestial ferocity, forcing large groups of them to flee further at the mere sight of the casualties he was creating.  After an hour, only a handful of orcs could be seen scattering in groups of twos or threes into the woods.  The bloodied party stood atop a hill at their (largely Sterling's) accomplishment.

Ozark was still hobbling up the hill, complaining at the while, "Why, back in my day, all that effort was known as showing off and was considered rude to do in front of your elders.... why I never..."

The rest froze for a moment as they saw Holverton catch up to the half-orc priest, draw his sword, and tried to strike him down with a blow to the back. Ozark's hump and his armor must have created an odd angle, as the blow was forceful, but not too damaging. The rest charged down the hill, engaged the halfling hero, and ultimately slew him.

Searching his body, they found an odd onyx dagger.   Ozark instantly recognized it as the Dagger of Mymindosa, a legendary weapon of the later Emperors of Feraso. It had been crafted to bring out hidden threats for the warrior-kings to slay for sport, even in peace-time. 

Ozark was exasperated "I don't know where Holverton found it, but it belongs in a museum..."

"...or crypt of the kings themselves," said Mellandria, knowing just where some of the later Emperors were buried.

While the village mourned the loss of their hero, they were eternally grateful to the heroes for stopping the orc attacks.  Tanqueman helped the party determine that the dagger's monster drawing power was dampened by the white box.  A small feast was held in their honor, and a secret meeting was conducted to further pledge Elmshire's forces towards the ideals that Echelon strove for, namely, a dead Dread Lord, and lots of dead Spider-People.

Tanqueman offered the clerical services of Ozark to them, especially until they found a safe place for the Dagger.  The following morning, his ass (named Boluke) was ready at the crack of dawn with the cleric's meager possession.  They left for home after breakfast.

31 TriDec 1072 - Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Ariel returned to the Blue Wizard to inform Torm of their success.  Upon arriving at the Chateau, the others learned from Felix that royal troops had torn the estate apart looking for Echelon, Talis, and Mellandria.  They found nothing, and could only issue an overt threat to the staff to report the "dead traitors" if any showed up.

32 TriDec 1072 - Lake Apotheosis, Kingdom of Crosedes
The party arrived at the community of the Cult of Light to find a giant tent city.  Thousands had given up most of their worldly possessions to don the (once) white robes of the Cult and celebrate his arrival.

They met with the High Priest Montain, who was quite surprised to see the Dagger of Myrmindosa. He offered a hefty reward, which Ozark promptly refused, on the benefit of the whole party.  With that, our heroes returned to the Chateau to rest, recuperate, and hide from the Dread Lord's minions.

33 TriDec 1072 - Lake Apotheosis, Kingdom of Crosedes
High Priest Montain personally sailed across the lake to the crypts of the later Ferasean Kings.  He handed the dagger, still secured in the white box, to one of the historians who guarded the tombs.

"Place this in the rightful spot of the great Fereasean Emperor Rurik III."

The historian took the box, meekly bowed, and went further into the tombs. Montain was satisfied that another artifact had been returned, and he was happy to have such trusting friends down the road in Eding.  He would make sure they would be safe during the apocalypse and blessed by the return of the God-King.

For Theodard the Historian, he was not one to refuse a command from the High Priest, no matter who they were this week, but his studies confirmed that Rurik III was not the most famous wielder of that weapon.

Rurik III ruled during the end of the Peaceful Age, hundreds of years of a Pax Feraso where monsters had simply been vanquished.  Trained for military action with no enemy, Rurik had the wizards at the Lyceum Feraso craft the Dagger of Mymindosa to create an enemy to help train his troops.  It worked well.  Humanoids returned to the continent, but in numbers that the novice imperial army could learn tactics from.

It was his son, Leif VII, who was truly the most famed wielder of the dagger.  He openly displayed the dagger in his bed chamber.  Monsters returned to Feraso, but in numbers the now-skilled army and auxiliaries could still handle.  But it was not the monsters that proved his ruin.

It was the rampaging barbarian hordes from Galmar that felt the weapon's calling.

Leif VII was the final Emperor of Feraso, the last king.

And beyond the historical analysis, Leif VII had a specially carved slot in the lid of his sarcophagus that fit the Dagger of Myrmindosa perfectly.

Theodard removed the dagger from it's protective box and inserted it in its rightful place on the lid.

Yet another piece of the prophecy had literally fallen into place.  The God of Goodness and Light would return by the end of this year.

GM Notes:  The not-ready-for-primetime players make their debut this episode.  All the original heroes are either dead or missing, save Kane, yet the group performs admirably in the face of extreme danger.  

Welcome to the first appearance of Ozark the Cleric, the replacement character Steve created to replace the deceased Echelon. 

I allowed replacement characters who were two levels lower than what the original character was.  Since Echelon was 6th level upon death, a 4th level character of any sort was permitted. 

But this was Steve we're talking about.  If Echelon was a million quirks, Ozark was one heavily played quirk: a half-orc cleric who maxed out at 4th level (per 1st edition AD&D) OVER FIFTY YEARS AGO.  

An ancient and venerable half-orc, with years of experience, but capped experience points.   And he played the senility, dementia, and senior citizen moralizing to a new level.  He spent more time blessing others spiritually than healing or casting Bless spells. But he's on the side of good.  May the gods help the others, they're going to need it. 

The adventure was taken from "Seigeshire" from White Wolf #21.

Next:  #56 The Noose Tightens

Monday, April 23, 2018

(Painting) Lt Col Thaddeus Ovaltine's Rough 'N Ready Riders, Part Two

The great thing about a birthday weekend is, after your obligatory cake, singing, and genuine excitement dies down, no one questions you going into the basement for awhile. 

With some much needed time at the bench that was before 10pm at night, the Spanish American War US Infantry I use for Lt Colonel Ovaltine's Rough 'N Ready Riders for the Pulp Game are finally completed. 
Like the Auxiliaries I finished last week, these all come from the US Infantry Skirmishers with Command pack from Old Glory

Now I have a small army to assault the town of Sohai for the campaign.  It's not much, but after the devastation of the first game, and most heroes out of town, a collection of wounded cultists, unethical police, and wayward Russian sailors is all the citizens have from taking a drink from Ovaltine's cup of despotism!
Lt Colonel Thaddeus Ovaltine (Center, in White) surrounded by the best men money can buy on short notice.
In the Queue:  Arabs in militant and civilian form, more mdf buildings, and repurposing "cheap beer" freebies.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Gnome Wars Blog: Cold Wars 2018 - The Battle for Tsingtao

Our Gnome King, Jim Stanton has realized his Gnome Wars blog is still active, and started posting a few pictures from his The Battle for Tsingtao event from Cold Wars in March
Who's that dude on the far right?

Hopefully, as he normally ends his posts, there's "more to come..."

Saturday, April 21, 2018

And My Wife Complains About My Measely Collection

I avoid the Daily Mail like the plague usually, and I have plenty of gripes about this article, but they seem to have the scoop.

A toy soldier collector in England recently passed away from leukemia at age 55, and now his family is going to send his massive collection to auction.

From the Daily Mail article
Like all Daily Mail articles, this one is scant on specifics, but just from the pictures I can tell that he collected 20mm plastics, 25mm  metal and plastic, plus a wide array of 54mm (classic toy soldier scale... including Britains).    The aircraft hanging from the ceiling appear to be both plastic assembled models as well as multiple types of die casts.

The part that tweaked me is that the auction house expects it could fetch in excess of £10,000 (roughly $14,000US).

Now, I know there's a lot of cheap Taiwanese plastic in a couple of pictures, both in the green army style, but also as knock-off Britains.  But the scrap value of all those metal bases and figures might fetch close to that.

It's a sad reminder of a conversation I see on TMP all the time.  Keep your family in the loop of your hobby, and if they can't, make sure they know which of your friends is morally sound enough to help with the process, even if it's much less than a quarter million figures.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Getting Up There in Years....

After 44 years on this planet, I'm starting to get ornery and crotchety towards the younger generations.
Excuse me while I yell at a cloud for flying over my lawn.  

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

(Painting) Ovaltine's Auxiliary Staff

Even with a full day's work to handle a complete and total power failure at work, I managed to get downstairs and not only put paint to figure, but finish four of them!

The girls know that episode two of Season Three of our Pulp Game will have an expanded force of Lt Col Thaddeus Ovaltine's Rough 'N Ready Riders attacking the town of Sohai.  Of course, that meant doubling their numbers.

I used the more dynamic poses for my US Marines in Samoa from the US Skirmishing Infantry for  Spanish-American War line from Old Glory.  While I've used these for Ovaltine's men, the remaining figures (specifically the very Army Infantry NCOs and officers) are getting a similar style but one that isn't meant for Cuba or the Pacific.

Here are Ovaltine's sergeants and buglers:
From Old Glory SAW-02
The remaining dozen or so figures are *this* close to getting completed.

On a sad family but happy dad front, the kid's gymnastics program is permanently shutting its doors after the USA Gymnastics Northeast Regional Championship next month in West Virginia.  One more three hour trip and hotel expense to earn some final hardware in their gymnastics careers.  Any other program doesn't offer enough, is too far away, but in either case is almost triple the cost of what we're paying.

We get a month's total reprieve before a tightly scheduled, more accomadating Summer basketball program starts up.

Of course, I've heard the c-word this week, and it makes my skin crawl even worse than a 9-hour drive to Williamsburg, Virginia on a Friday night..... Cheerleading.

In the Queue:  More riflemen for Ovaltine's private army.  Arabs, and a few Swedish style houses!

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Ballad of the Pigeon God #54: Mellandria's Escape from Emron

34 DuoDec 1072 - Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
It took two days of bed rest, but Mellandria, the former Baronial scribe, finally regained consciousness.  She retold her last few months to "Baron" Felix: working on the Maless Manor, searching for Count Zabty, and ultimately the disastrous journey to Emron.  The last thing she remembered was being transformed into an Ogre and then a huge explosion.

When she awoke, she was back to her normal human female self. Someone had tended to her wounds and hid her amongst the hedgerows. Gathering her senses, a piece of paper fell out from the tucks of her cloak.  It read:

Dearest Mellandria,

I had hoped you would awake before I was forced to leave, but that was not to be.  Witch-Hunters in the employ of the Emron Princes are looking for me.  I've been labelled a heretical cleric and will be hunted down and killed, if they had their way.  I'm on my way to the safety of Ispatlia.  Once there, I hope to attract more followers to whatever crazy cause we are?  Usurping the Dread Lord?  Waiting out the apocalypse?  

I am sorry for the the loss of Echelon, Dimitri, and I fear, Talis.  They were outrageous characters, fine companions, and good friends.

You are safe in the magistocracy, in fact, you may thrive, but head north and you will eventually reach Eding.  

The password for Felix is: "I am not a fucking Spider-Person."  

I know that's a bit cruder than your civilized sensibilities, but we needed something simple, direct, but not too obvious.  

I shall see you again, one day, my dear.
Velandro 

Mellandria took the provisions and gold Velandro had left for her and travelled north, through the high hills of the Principality of Krondhar. Once she reached the Principality of Bergdhoven, she ran low and funs and food.  She spent a few weeks working as a scribe, for one of the local barons. Unlike the backwater of Eding, or even the university setting of Hydincall, Bergdhoven was a mage's paradise.  Lower-powered spells were freely traded, some even given away.  Over a paid Emron holiday, she finally acquired the spell Find Familiar and summoned a small brown owl, Horatio.
Horatio
She was able to not only resupply, but purchase a horse, Chaser, and soon she ventured into the uninhabited lowlands between Masgoth and Crosedes.  With the help of Horatio's scouting, she only had to brave the elements, and not any large encounters with beasts or humanoids.

Felix filled her in on the escalating Cult of Goodness and Light, the rumors of "Mad Norm's" battle prowess, and his concern that preventing the apocalypse from happening might not happen, no matter what coincidental oil paintings say.

Mellandria asked for a few days to gather her wits, heal her body, and she would take up the mantle of secret protector of Eding.  Echelon would have wanted that, no matter how many times this village seemed to screw him over.

20 TriDec 1072 - Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
After a few weeks of rest, Mellandria began helping Babette and Zoe around the manor, taking long hikes with Kane, and remembering that Echelon's deranged mentor, Mohammad, still lived in a broom closet on the second floor.  Word was secretly left to the captain of the Baronial Militia(and ally of the Chateau), Torm Touchberry, of Mellandria's survival, but she was already assumed dead by the king, with a secret bounty on her head if she appeared anyway alive.

In the morning, Mellandria finished up some of Felix's paperwork before heading downstairs for breakfast, when she heard a frantic rapping at the door.

It was Ariel the Bard, an ex-adventurer of questionable morality, who had left the safety of the Chateau in return for a steady gig playing at the Blue Wizard Inn, and an unusual relationship with the Inn's co-owner, Faytette.

Ariel was frantic.  "A bloodied halfling arrived this morning from Elmshire, looking for the Baron's help.  Orcs have descended the halfling village and they desperately need help.  Torm told me to tell you that the village and Baron have no troops to spare this early in the season.  If the Chateau could assemble a rescue party, it would be a great service for the *air quotes* shadow government against the King*, whatever that is.   If need be, I can help you as well."

Mellandria was concerned.  In a few moments, she assembled every competent adventurer left on the estate that wasn't essential, or were raising young children.
  • Herself, a scholarly magic-user who tried to avoid conflict.
  • Sterling Riverbend, a huge quarter-ogre with a disposition slimier than his skin.  He had just gotten back from visiting his family in Omsjik.  
  • Kane, a eastern mystic with elemental control of water.  He had discarded the adventuring life, but upon learning of the trouble in Elmshire, he dug out his old plate mail, gave Mohammad a hug, and was the first one ready to go.
  • Ariel the Bard, a redhead with a song in her heart, and an eye for the ladies.  Mellandria had travelled with her frequently while conducting Baron Echelon's business, but she never remembered the bard actually fighting.  
This was not going to be the relief party the halflings were hoping for:  

3 TriDec 1072  Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes *Short Flashback*
Dinner was finally ready, so Kane was already ascending the stairs with a tray of soup and bread for his dear friend Mohammad.  The legless guru was normally mediating in closet, trying to commune with his god, but sometimes he was coherent enough for conversation on eastern philosophy ... or his images of the "New King" arriving as the Cult of Light had predicted.  Today was both parts of the latter.

"Hello, Master Mohammad, Zoe may have finally perfected the sweet potato soup."

"Eh?  Oh, Kane, it's you.  Put the tray down next to my door and come closer."

"Sure Master, what is of the matter?"  

"Do you LIKE serving me my meals, tending to my needs when I'm entranced?  Subject to my fits of yelling and screaming, none of which are deserved."

The monk stepped back.     

"Master Mohammad, I gladly help and protect you, not only as a duty as a friend of such valued ally as yourself, but as a close personal favor asked of me by Mister Wolfsblood.  He may no longer be here, I adhere to the pact as if he were beside me right now."

"You believe all that crap you said, Kane?  Listen here.  I can draw down the fires of heaven, hell and numerous other planes of existence just by asking Tshang Kai Ching.  I can do it at a moment's notice, and I damn well protect this estate and the residents therein no matter what.  Do not worry about me, my friend, worry about what few friends you have left. Worry about the prophecies and help your friends ensure that the prophecies reward the forces of good.  I will be fine.   It's time to be a hero, again, no matter what the sacrifice."  

The monk bowed, went downstairs into a supply closet, grabbed a jar of polish from the closet, and a loaf of bread from the kitchen, to return to his room.  There, he pulled out the suit of plate mail he hadn't really worn since returning from Talislanta, over a year ago.

And there, he began polishing his armor, adjusting odd links, and preparing for the inevitable.

GM Notes:  We begin the post-Echelon storylines with a story to set up... Echelon's player's new character.... Reader beware!

Next: #55: Ozark of Seigeshire

Tax Day Can Be Game Day!

Two extra days to file your Federal tax return.  Two extra days to get in gaming sessions with your favorite system: 1040 - with the schedule add-ons for extra crunch.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Dynamic Scale is Great on Those Larger Tables

Smaller scales are for size and economics.  Your 28+mm are for those awesome additions like LED lighting. 

But even larger scales, they just feel a bit more.... dynamic!


Thursday, April 12, 2018

Space Gnomes at Irrational Number Line Games

I always forget to venture over to Irrational Number Line Games.  Lots of neat little projects with excess gaming equipment and common household items.

Somehow, I've missed an early entry covering the Gnomelactic Empire Empire:
Seriously, it's worth the trip over for the other pictures alone.  The pickelhaub is simply hiding a wide variety of uses for German gnomes.  

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The Noob GM on Cannibal Halfing Gaming

A friend of mine (specifically a friend of The Hoyce, so in turn, a friend of mine), has written an article on her first experience on gamemastering and some advice for those taking the plunge.

Cannibal Halfling Gaming

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Ballad of the Pigeon God #53: A Prophetic Winter at the Chateau

22 DuoDec 1072 - Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The chaos which had been affecting our heroes back in Eding had not settled down a bit in their absence. It was a stressful Fall, where the original owner, Baron Echelon himself, was declared dead and ownership was transferred to the manager, "Baron" Felix Homburg.  Felix managed to successfully finish the harvest and prepare for one of the worst winters in recent history.  Where the Chateau had been full of activity with the heroes, hirelings, and hangers-on spilling out of the house and into the series of "bungalows" that they had built for the summer months, in the depths of winter, there were a measly dozen inhabitants in the main house.
  • "Baron" Felix Homsburg:  Former Baron of Homsburg in Ras-Prythax had been kidnapped 342 years prior by the evil doppleganger Spider-People.  He had just recently been rescued by the Baron Echelon and his fellow adventurers, and was given an opportunity to run the farm portion of the estate.  With so many deaths of the trusted staff, he was thrust into the role of manager of the entire estate, and ultimately took ownership from the current Baron, ten-year old "Timmy" d'Echelon to keep the assets away from the scrutiny of King Cervinal, previously known as "The Dread Lord" before the suspicious death of his brother, King Nevin IV.
  • Zoe Loupe-Alberhold: A former peasant girl who had a night of passion with Maloran Alberhold, a fellow adventurer with Echelon.  He got her pregnant, then he was magically transported to a different world, where he died while trying to get back home.  Their child, Luke, was almost two now.  After the death of beloved housekeeper, Dew Xyclone, and a decline in residents, the heads of the household found it fit and proper to offer the job to Zoe. 
  • Babette de Sarista: A former street thief from Hydincall, she got herself tangled up with the party after a botched pickpocket attempt and ended up getting magically teleported to that different world with them.  She performed admirably on their missions to get back home, and even had a romantic tryst with a gypsy from that world.  She gave birth to twin boys, Darius and Yuri, from that affair upon her return last winter.  She retired from adventuring, and focused on her boys, as well as helping Zoe and Felix with the Chateau, when possible.  
  • Heirylat: A former brigand and gang enforcer, he was kidnapped by the Spider-People in 1050, and only recently was rescued by Echelon's company along with Baron Felix.  After discovering he was the long-lost father of the current Baroial Regent, Lady Iris, he was given a prominent job on the estate, but through his laziness and other's incompetence is now just a general laborer and farmhand.
  • Mohammad -  A Mentor of the Echelon, now a crippled, agoraphobic, and psychically weakened cleric of Tshang Kai Shing, the Eastern God of the Sea.  He spends his days in a broom closet on the second floor of the Chateau, trying to commune with his God, only occasionally wandering out and communicating with others.
  • Brutus - A dim-witted but loyal ex-gladiator who found a home and a family at the Chateau.  Works as a manual laborer on the estate alongside Heirylat.
  • Kane - An Eastern monk and water elementalist.  He too was part of the group that travelled to a different world, and upon his return, effectively retired from the lifestyle.  He has spent his days is careful meditation on the Chateau's grounds, or assisting his friend Mohammad.
  • Pathfinder - A grey wolf, permanently charmed by and telepathically linked to Echelon.  With Echelon gone, he spent his summer sleeping around the barn or helping the humans herd animals.  This winter he spent his entire time curled up near the fireplace in the Great Room.  
  • Sterling Riverbend - A bulbous, greasy Quarter Ogre Warrior picked up Hydincall, now a manual laborer and armed escort for the fellow residents of the Chateau. 
The winter had been quite snowy, but somehow the estate was still making money.  Numerous stops were made by the caravans of sleds, sledges, and sleighs en route to the military camp in Lansluck under the command of General Norm Dingleberry.  The quartermasters in charge were willing to purchase any and all provisions, no question on the prices, so Felix calculated what they could do without.  
A clear day to work the outskirts of the Chateau
Other travellers stopped by the Chateau to beg for a moment of respite from the elements and perhaps to purchase some supplies on their pilgrimage to the Camp of Apotheosis.  Apparently the prophecies of that cult of Goodness and Light travelled far and wide, and resonated with many people, who were willing to travelling in the harshest of conditions to join the encampment at a lake just outside the barony's boundaries.  They were never any trouble, but their talk of the return of the King, their god, who would restore order and light to the land worried Felix.  He even took two trips up the road to the encampment. What had been a few dozens adherents had transformed in a community of hundreds, if not thousands.  He even got to talk to two of the high priests, Brothers Knoepp and Lawrence, who welcomed him for a meal, espoused their beliefs, and warned him that they knew with some certainty that their God was returning, "by the end of the year, no doubt."  Felix kept their information under advisement and left promptly. 

32 DuoDec 1072 - Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Another storm began raging in the last days of Winter, but not before Felix had time to hear tremendous news from a quick morning trip to Eding proper.   Stopping for a quick drink before heading back to the Chateau, a military messenger also stopped to rest and water his horse,   He dashed inside with a bold announcement.  

"Mad Norm has done it!   The King's finest knight and general has done the impossible and crushed the invading dwarves of Ruuna in a daring winter assault.  Awaiting further orders from the King.  The people of Ruuna are free!!!"   The tavern erupted in celebration.  

Felix was concerned even more.  Norm Dingleberry, dwarf simpleton, was no military genius.  His first adventures with the group were punctuated by his martial incompetence and his only recollection of him fighting valiantly was slaying the Spider-Person doppleganger of his beloved Dew.... by bludgeoning it with a table leg.   His thoughts wandered towards the worst.  Was Norm a Spider-Person?  But would a Spider-Person even try to duplicate his horrible (French) accent?   He travelled home and told everyone the good news.  

As the storm escalated into the evening, the residents of the Chateau, save Mohammad, migrated to the warmth of the fireplace in the Great Room.  Over the mantle was the the large oil painting "White Plume Mountain."  The adventurers overlooking the fog shrouded peak sure resembled the hereos that saved him.   He learned of the prophecy as they had.  Ashe the Elf,  Norm the Dwarf, and Echelon the... Pigeon Lover(?) resembled those adventurers, wielding three artifacts of antiquity that could stop the end times.  A battle-axe, Overwhelm, a trident, Wave, and the sword of the ancient Fereasean Kings, The Blood-Brand.  The only problem was Ashe had disappeared with his wacky brother, Norm was probably a Spider-Person, and Echelon?  Felix was one of a few that knew the former Baron was still alive after his failed diplomatic mission to Ruuna and had gone off with Velandro, Talis, and Mellandria into the heart of Crosedes to search for Count Zabty.  

Zabty was another of the rescuees from the Spider-People.  A paladin of some renown, Zabty left the Chateau just weeks before Echelon had become Baron, and most of the adventurers had decided, with the hated Dread Lord on the throne, war looming on the borders, and prophecy being spouted off, that finding a main of his high character was instrumental in making sure things got better.  Echelon wasn't the smartest or wisest of the group, but with Zabty, he was the last link left for the good guys to have some control over divinations and auguries occurring down the road.

The friendly banter of women and their toddler children grew a bit much for Felix, and he ventured off to the porch to smoke his pipe and find a moment of clarity.  He hunched over again wall to ensure his tobacco stayed lit while still enjoying some of the winds.  There would be a time tomorrow when he would trudge through it to help the boys tend to the animals in the barn, now was a time to enjoy the power of Guya in her most primal form.

Then the most peculiar thing happened.  A small brown owl, caked with snow, landed on the outside railing of the porch.  It's head pivoted towards Baron Felix and it let out a quick, "Hoo- hoo!"   It shook itself off from most of the snow, stared at him again with another "Hoo-hoo." Intrigued, Felix moved towards the bird.  The owl did not try to move away, only uttering another pair of hoo's and turning its head back towards the road.

Brutus had just opened the door to check on his master, when he saw Felix jump off the porch into a foot and a half of fresh snow and try to trudge through it to a lone figure slumped over a horse.   The horse was trying to walk through the snow, but after a few steps, its front legs would collapse forward, it would struggle to regain its footing and keep moving forward.

When Brutus finally to reached Felix, he had made it to the collapsed and obviously exhausted steed. He pulled the person, a woman, away from the horse.

It was Mellandria.

It had been five long months since she had left the Chateau to help Echelon.  She was bloodied, bruised, and at death's door.

She opened her eyes to see Felix, "Is Talis here?"

"No, my dear, I thought he was with you?  Where is everyone"

"Wizards. Explosion.  I think Velandro...  murdered by Witch-Hunters, Talis probably too.  I know Echelon is dead."

"And.... I'm not.... a fucking.... Spider-Person."

Felix wrapped up the magic-user in his own cloak and carried her inside. Once there, he barked at the other men to help Brutus get the horse into a barn and come back inside.

With Echelon dead, what little hope they had was lost.   

DM Note:  Our active heroes were away from the Chateau for the better part of half a year.  It was quiet back home for most of it, but I figured this was a good way to bring the story back to Eding. Most of these characters are NPCs.  Babette's player had permanently stopped showing up, Kane's took a short hiatus for real-life, and Sterling's got him in the game right before the others decided to get a little paranoid with this new regime running the Kingdom.

We know one thing, though.  Mellandria is alive...  because if it was a Spider-Person pretending to be her on the road, they need to keep the human alive to continue the facade.... plus their code phrase was more vulgar than Mellandria would normally speak.

But before things get even worse, let's figure out how Mellandria got home...

NEXT: #54 Mellandria and Horatio's Bogus Journey Home

Monday, April 9, 2018

Got the Gold and Silver Yesterday, Today I Level Up

Each day, each week, each month, each year seems to exponentially dump more and more "real life" on me with every moment.  

At the top of the list is my mother-in-law, already with a plethora of health issues, falling and breaking her hip, and the health dilemmas that follow that.  Then there's my own mother, who called me all confused this past Cold Wars.  Thankfully, she's home and prepping for a relatively minor cardio-pulmonary procedure.  

I did ask if the surgery could be scheduled around Mepacon.  Thus far, it's looks like my selfish little request might be accepted.  

So this week, my wife was planning on attending a professional conference for work.  After her mom's condition dipped a bit, and a rescheduled hockey meet and greet the night she was supposed to, she finally departed.  That meant two days with the girls, maybe a little painting, perhaps a game or three, so long as homework is done. 

And then all three nor'easters missed us, but one sent high winds that knocked over a tree leading into the neighborhood.  Long detour and no power for 24 hours...   

I can't get a break for trying.  

But tonight... tonight we reap the rewards of our multiple session investigative encounter for our D&D 5e online game.  Tonight there shall be xp.  
For nearly 30 years, I've tried to maintain a professional distance from brothels and prostitution in the games I play and run.  Sex, and the world's oldest profession in particular, were always assumed activities off on the sidelines of the campaign.  Save the fact the the Ballad of the Pigeon God crew got magically teleported to Talislanta while in brothel, and a player who tried an overzealous (failed) seduction roll during a fire rescue.  Oh yeah, if two players makes separate back stories about their moms being prostitutes in the same town, I will make a storyline where they are half-brothers.  Don't make it that easy for me as a DM...

But while we investigated a local crime lady and a missing cleric, we were directed to frequent a certain inn/brothel.    With no organization and everyone going over the building haphazardly (and not relaying information), I do my best Leroy Jenkins impersonation by paying for "entertainment" and trying to get into the locked upper story of the building.

With numerous pawns moving all over the place, I may have made some moves to distract the staff from the already sneaking party members.  Only problem was, despite my idea of a Hangover/Judd Apatow movie inspired scene with clumsy hi-jinx, and inferred shenanigans off-camera, the other party members wandered about aimlessly, making things slightly uncomfortable.

In the end, we rescued the priestess and all managed to escape, with only the brutal death of a waiter by Falgor the Mighty of the Northlands.

Under oath, Falgor will testify, that any crimeboss who sends a waiter to investigate a break-in at her headquarters doesn't deserve to stay in business.  Falgor swears the guy looked 6'5" and was threatening the thief, before he cleaved him in the chest.  

We're hoping to gather up some xp tonight, level up (to 3!) and actually go on the adventure we should have started weeks ago (according to Falgor).  Or we'll venture into Gulluvia, or maybe IOU.  So long as I pencil in an opening for gaming Monday night, my wife will let me keep it.

So, you might be asking, "ViscountEric, what of the mention of Gold and Silver Yesterday that's in the title."

To add to the chaos of a weekend that featured my wife's return from the conference, the kids staying over a relative's, and the final "Fan Appreciation Night" game of the season for our beloved Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins, I had to wake up at 4am for a three hour drive so the kids could participate in the USAGymnastics Trampoline and Tumbling Pennsylvania State Championships.    I dislike these competitions, but my rules for the girls are simple:  a) Know your passes and routines and b) don't get a zero.

The kids brought back some hardware.
Three gold for Millie.  Two Silver and a 6th for Maja
Now, the god's honest truth, Millie is a level of skill above every other kid in her age category, so she cleans up, but every kid in her age category that's a level below failed to score high enough to move up, whether for Regionals or next year.

Maja's in a much more competitive level and age category, and her one silver matches up with the silver she got in a regional invitational earlier this year... a silver to the same girl who beat her at States.

But, although they are hoity-toity medal winning gymnasts, they still want to go with me on the Saturday for Mepacon... and let Dad sleep in a bit.

Edit: Monday 11:30pm - Game was cancelled due to illness.  Grrrrrr.  But we did get an all role-playing session of Adventures in Gulluvia done. 

Friday, April 6, 2018

(Kickstarter) Halflings - A Class of Their Own by Midlam Miniatures

Midlam Miniatures is back again with another Kickstarter campaign, and more halflings!

Halflings - A Class of Their Own is a set of 16 halfling miniatures covering the vast range of classes of current D&D.

**Grumble Grumble** Back in my day, halfling was a class unto itself, and we worked through those constraints!  **Grumble Grumble**

As always, Midlam's sculpts are beautiful, and if we start to look at more halflings for Song of Blades and Heroes, more female halflings for the girls to use would be good thing to pledge.

Plus, they had me sold at halfling nun. 

Thursday, April 5, 2018

(Kickstarter) Kartoffelkrieg

Like all fads, trends, and American Presidents, what started off as an internet joke has become real.

If you love mecha combat, but have too many potatoes, Kartoffelkreig ("Potato War") is for you!

Yep, it's a real Kickstarter

Forty bucks nets you the all the rules, cards, and other materials for the game, plus enough weaponry to keep your spud legions content. 

(Kickstarter) Fireball Island RESTORED!

Restoration Games has launched a Kickstarter to bring back the classic 80's game Fireball Island with new cards, new figures, and new expansions!




Thirty years later, the $60 pledge level for the base game of marbles careening down the mountain seems like a bargain.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

(GNOME WARS) The Trojan Bunny

Snow, hockey, and way too much ham has come and gone, but we've gotten the annual Easter game in the books.

This year I figured we needed to avoid more Zulu Wars and went towards ancient history/mythology of the Trojan War.

I explained to the girls how a war was waged over a woman.

"Men are silly," Maja replied.

The girls set up the "Trojans", a pair of archers at the gate, a few civilians, and mostly soldiers/militia in the town square.   Upon the delivery of the great gift from the Greeks and their subsequent departure by sea, the King ordered the gift brought inside.
Perhaps, this isn't as historically accurate as some may wish.  
 I asked the girls what type of celebration they would throw:

"Cupcakes and confetti!"

"Dancing"

"Plates of Cheeses"

"Wine!"
Troy
And with that, we rolled to see how hardy the Trojans partied.  Some made it back to their homes, a few still powered on, congregating near a street corner, but most passed out from the revelry right in the square.  Alas, even the guards in the tower must have had too much cheese, because they fell asleep as well...
In the dead of night, the Greeks sprung their trap!  The back of the bunny crumbled and a few elite warriors emerged.
Ajax the Just Born (Fruit Punch) leads the men. 
 It took some discussion between the girls but it was decided in reverse order to:
  • Rescue Helen from the heavily guarded palace. 
  • Pillage some of the nearby buildings...
  • Actually open up the gates and let their fellow Greeks in.  
The Greeks continued to pour out of the rabbit, slaying some of the passed out guards in their sleep, but one of them must have let out a noise (perhaps a peep?)  The ne'er-do-wells turned the corner to be met with a near-charging Ajax.  

One of the Trojans ran away screaming, but the other two held their ground and surprisingly beat the the Greek commander into a gooey mess.

Opeepyus and the rest of gang of ten finally shoed themselves.  A few men were sent out to investigate the palace and homes, but the rest were ordered to not wake up any more Trojans as they raced towards the gate.
The two bruisers that took down Ajax took one look at the hulking brute of Opeepyus and one of them took off running... to alert the sleeping archers in the tower. 
The guards are alerted...
The Greeks felt considerable resistance in the homes and palace and fell back.   Perhaps silently taking out the guards and opening the gate BEFORE you pillage the city was a better option.  But when your commanders are 7 and 8, the learning curve is there. 
The Greek army, waiting for the gates to open.
Most Greeks rushed towards the gate, and the waiting missile fire from the archers.  Only one caught of the glance of the great Opeepyus as he was slain by a common soldier. 
Opeepyus goes down!

With both leaders killed, and the army mere feet away, the remaining Greeks ran to the gate.  A few more were taken out by the archers, but they held their own against the mob of civilians and soldiers.  

To open the gate I allowed a d6 roll per Greek per turn.  When the cumulative roll hit 20, the gates were open and the full army could march in.  The first soldier rolled a five before dying.  Next three more tried (1, 3, 4) with one lone survivor.  Over the next three rounds, the poor man dodged arrow fire and fought a trio of Trojans to a standstill but rolled poorly (1,2,1). 
Just short of opening the gate.
Trojan legends would vilify the Greeks and their long and useless war, but they would sing of the bravery and heroics of a simple warior, Syrupius of Cornate.  If there was just one more Greek with his spirit, the folly of the Greek's Rabbit could have turned out far more sinister for the good people of Troy. 

And with that, the Greek Peeps fail to surprise the Trojan Gnomes.  The kids learned the real history and had fun playing the alternate version.  As following Greek custom, their dead were devoured "by the gods themselves."  The "Greek's Rabbit" was broken up and put into storage for after-school snacks for the week.  

And just like most of the scenarios I run, I was inspired by others, just not another blog for once...
Doctor Fun