Wednesday, April 4, 2018

(GNOME WARS) The Trojan Bunny

Snow, hockey, and way too much ham has come and gone, but we've gotten the annual Easter game in the books.

This year I figured we needed to avoid more Zulu Wars and went towards ancient history/mythology of the Trojan War.

I explained to the girls how a war was waged over a woman.

"Men are silly," Maja replied.

The girls set up the "Trojans", a pair of archers at the gate, a few civilians, and mostly soldiers/militia in the town square.   Upon the delivery of the great gift from the Greeks and their subsequent departure by sea, the King ordered the gift brought inside.
Perhaps, this isn't as historically accurate as some may wish.  
 I asked the girls what type of celebration they would throw:

"Cupcakes and confetti!"


"Plates of Cheeses"

And with that, we rolled to see how hardy the Trojans partied.  Some made it back to their homes, a few still powered on, congregating near a street corner, but most passed out from the revelry right in the square.  Alas, even the guards in the tower must have had too much cheese, because they fell asleep as well...
In the dead of night, the Greeks sprung their trap!  The back of the bunny crumbled and a few elite warriors emerged.
Ajax the Just Born (Fruit Punch) leads the men. 
 It took some discussion between the girls but it was decided in reverse order to:
  • Rescue Helen from the heavily guarded palace. 
  • Pillage some of the nearby buildings...
  • Actually open up the gates and let their fellow Greeks in.  
The Greeks continued to pour out of the rabbit, slaying some of the passed out guards in their sleep, but one of them must have let out a noise (perhaps a peep?)  The ne'er-do-wells turned the corner to be met with a near-charging Ajax.  

One of the Trojans ran away screaming, but the other two held their ground and surprisingly beat the the Greek commander into a gooey mess.

Opeepyus and the rest of gang of ten finally shoed themselves.  A few men were sent out to investigate the palace and homes, but the rest were ordered to not wake up any more Trojans as they raced towards the gate.
The two bruisers that took down Ajax took one look at the hulking brute of Opeepyus and one of them took off running... to alert the sleeping archers in the tower. 
The guards are alerted...
The Greeks felt considerable resistance in the homes and palace and fell back.   Perhaps silently taking out the guards and opening the gate BEFORE you pillage the city was a better option.  But when your commanders are 7 and 8, the learning curve is there. 
The Greek army, waiting for the gates to open.
Most Greeks rushed towards the gate, and the waiting missile fire from the archers.  Only one caught of the glance of the great Opeepyus as he was slain by a common soldier. 
Opeepyus goes down!

With both leaders killed, and the army mere feet away, the remaining Greeks ran to the gate.  A few more were taken out by the archers, but they held their own against the mob of civilians and soldiers.  

To open the gate I allowed a d6 roll per Greek per turn.  When the cumulative roll hit 20, the gates were open and the full army could march in.  The first soldier rolled a five before dying.  Next three more tried (1, 3, 4) with one lone survivor.  Over the next three rounds, the poor man dodged arrow fire and fought a trio of Trojans to a standstill but rolled poorly (1,2,1). 
Just short of opening the gate.
Trojan legends would vilify the Greeks and their long and useless war, but they would sing of the bravery and heroics of a simple warior, Syrupius of Cornate.  If there was just one more Greek with his spirit, the folly of the Greek's Rabbit could have turned out far more sinister for the good people of Troy. 

And with that, the Greek Peeps fail to surprise the Trojan Gnomes.  The kids learned the real history and had fun playing the alternate version.  As following Greek custom, their dead were devoured "by the gods themselves."  The "Greek's Rabbit" was broken up and put into storage for after-school snacks for the week.  

And just like most of the scenarios I run, I was inspired by others, just not another blog for once...
Doctor Fun

No comments:

Post a Comment