(Gnome Wars) Swiss Training Practices

Swiss Gnomes have always been regarded as the quintessential gnome nation.  The many nations citizens and troops outfit themselves in the classic gnome look, well-known among the commoners, but the Swiss have adopted it as their national persona.  

The Swiss army is well known for their miners, their cheese grenadiers, and the rows and rows of blunderbuss to defend the country.  but that is not how they start their training.  They start with giant gnome-sized wooden spoons.

Swiss mandatory service and conscription, while serious, is grounded in their values of discipline, community, and resourcefulness.

The use of giant wooden spoons as the primary training tool for Swiss gnome trainees stems from both practicality and symbolism. Maintaining the proper armory of weapons is difficult in a nation where everyone is armed, so trainees begin with the giant wooden spoon for many practical reason. In the context of military training, these spoons serve as a unique metaphor: before a soldier can wield a weapon of destruction, he must first master the tool of creation.

The giant wooden spoons are heavy and unwieldy for the small gnomes, making them an ideal tool for strength training and endurance building as they drill. They help the recruits develop their coordination, dexterity, and upper body strength without needing to immediately wielding weapons. The trainees must practice complex drills with these spoons, learning balance, timing, and teamwork. The weight distribution of the spoons forces them to develop into the sturdy stocky troops the Swiss are known for.  

In some drills, the spoons are used in mock combat, where the trainees must hone their agility, defense, and deflection rather than brute force, reinforcing defensive strategies. The philosophy behind this training is that gnomes, who are traditionally peaceful creatures, must exhaust every option of defense and strategy before resorting to violence.

Once the trainees have spent a significant amount of time mastering the wooden spoon, they undergo a ritual called "The Stirring of Resolve," where they symbolically stir a massive communal stew, representing the unity and strength of the nation. Following this, they are finally permitted to transition into formal combat training.  

They are also scheduled equally for "Kitchen Patrol" or KP, where their spoon is used for creating daily communal meals.  

Even the progression from spoon to real weapons is gradual.   The spoons are stored properly and trainees move onto wooden blunderbuss and wooden melee weapons and finally then, the traditionally issued weapons.  

Many Swiss that complete training proudly mount their wooden spoon on the kitchen wall, a sign, like the blunderbuss over many hearths, that the gnome is part of something much larger. 

When an elderly Swiss gnome musters out of the militia, many receive a giant wooden fork as a gift from his unit, a play on the saying "Put a fork in him, he's done."  The proud veterans often find a spot adjacent to the spoon in their kitchen.  

And that is why many Swiss gnome grandchildren visit their grandparents and see the giant spoon and fork on the kitchen wall.