The Church of Gnome

Blame friend-of-the-blog, Mike Lung for bringing this to my attention, albeit after #InternationalGnomeWeek.  

Apparently there is a very legitimate Church of Gnome.

Pondering becoming ordained by the Church and offering Gnome weddings at conventions. The Pet Ordinations intrigue me as well. 

One thing's for certain: They're not a cult. 

(Gamma World) Not a Test #85 - A Very Hinged Date

Our heroes, the De Facto Explorers,  have returned to Riverbend and now have a new mission across the river.

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Sneaky Pete: A mutated weasel scout.  Pete's telepathy and night vision take a backseat when he whips out his electrical powers.  

Sonny Helianthus: a nearly 10' tall sentient sunflower artifact examiner with trusted Restorationist ties. Knowledgeable,  but not a good one with device repairs or upgrades. Just went out of his comfort zone to rescue Lathar from becoming a human sacrifice to "The Beast." 

Slitheran Wurmtail (aka Squiggles): a mutated earthworm scout, in impromptu power armor, looking for trouble, and finding it often.   He  has been subject to genetic testing and developed super-human strength, a more human body, and a thick coat of shaggy white hair.

Lathar Bracken: A pure-strain human from River Bend.  He's got the muscle, the face, and a mount for most encounters.  Lathar's trusty beast of burden, No Name, travels wherever he does.   Looking for trouble in all the right places.  Former jousting champion of Fair-Town.  

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Sonny and Squiggles departed Ascension Hall.  Justinian with the Restorationists had given them a immediate quest: to cross the river and engage with the Hissers who had camped out along the river bank.  

The duo returned to Lathar's mom's home, to get the others up to speed.  No one thought it would be an ambush, in fact they realized there was no reason they couldn't get across the river, engage the Hissers, and make it back before dusk. 

Getting across the river at this stage would require a boat, and Lathar barely managed to acquire one (perhaps the boaters knew his secret flaws).  

Clover Haycock negotiated a deal with Lathar to pilot them across the river in his boat.

Clover Haycock, Riverbend Boat Pilot

They arrived on the other shore to... no one.    Sonny did find some recently used pie tins, and the crushed plants that would note a recent encampment.  

Wandering along the riverbank netted no response from the interior, and a setting sun made the group cross back into Riverbend.  Before they departed, Sonny left a note for the Hissers, hoping they could read.

"Dear Hissers,  

Sorry we missed you.  Hope to catch you tomorrow.  Bring more pie.  I like rhubarb..."

Clover was not happy with the possibility of transporting them again.  Lathar tried to smooth him over, but Clover threw a counter proposal.  "I can rearrange my schedule for you guys for more domars, I'm a very busy man, but I'd be a less busy man if you can take care of my sister..."

Lathar stroked his chin.

Clover:  Thunnelda just sits around the house, it ain't right.

Lathar:  I'll take her out on a date.... if things go well, she can tag along on the adventure.

Once they returned to Riverbend, the Explorers disembarked, Lathar followed Clover back to the Haycock homestead.  

Clover:  Ever since they kicked her out of the militia, she picked too many fights in all the inns, she's been moping in her room.. It ain't natural.

Clover introduced Lathar to his wife, Zelveta and they walked to Thunnelda's room.  

Behind a normal-looking door was a sight, from the inside of the doorframe all around the room, were various door hinges hammered to the walls. 

Thunnelda sat on her bed, playing with some indistinguishable piece of metal. Her sad eyes augmented by the personalized deep facial tattoos running from her forehead down to her jawline.

Thunnelda Haycock, a very hinged woman

Lathar stepped forward, handing her one of the pie tins from the Hisser encampment, "This is for you."

Thunnelda's eyes perked up, her distant look recollecting as she reached out to the pin tin, then rolling over to grab the head of a hammer, and nail the tin onto the a prominent spot on the walls.

Thunnelda was eager to accompany Lathar on a walk.  They strolled the main road, climbing to the hills to watch the early seasonal fireflies.  Thunnelda was beaming, all smiles, even more so when Lathar took her by the hand.  Thunnelda's nervousness turned into a rapid-fire series of personal questions, and the barbarian chose to humor her.  

Lathar's intention to bring her even near a tavern was met with immediate hostilities.  A few stragglers loitering outside ran into the building to alert the others, and many could be heard pushing their chairs back and grabbing weapons.  

Lathar:  What did you do?  

Thunnelda: Um... at one point I did go into a fit of rage, and smashed every piece of barware they had, because... you wouldn't believe this, they ran out of the nuggies.  This might not be a great bar for us.  

Lathar took charge, tossing a pile of domars onto the bar:  I need two jugs of ale, and two orders of nuggies. 

Bartender, resigned: Does she want the mushroom paste or glow sauce? 

Thunnelda, excited, hiding behind Lathar: GlowsauceGlowsauceGlowsauce.

Once they obtained their snacks and refreshments, they climbed the hill to view the stars. 

Thunnelda soon realized her initial fits of rage were unfounded, apparently she didn't like the nuggies.  but not to embarrass herself, she'd dip her nuggie into the sauce, take a bite, and chuck the remainder of the piece into the woods.

They sat under the stars, talking about goals, family, and dreams, when Lathar finally blurted out, "How about you come with us tomorrow."  

It was a fairly dark sky that night, but Lathar was certain that Thunnelda was over the moon.

The next morning, the Explorers arrived back at the riverbank.  Clover was there, his sister Thunnelda, with a hide satchel over her shoulder and a small wheelbarrow of hinges at her feet.

Thunnelda:  They all have names....

Peter the Weasel played a few notes of his mandolin.  

The rest of the Explorers were a bit shocked but Lathar assured him it was a short-term ploy.  The Explorers, plus Clover and Thunnelda loaded onto the boat and crossed 

This time, the Hissers were gathered at the spot across the river.  Sonny directed most of the diplomatic matters and the four snake-man allowed them to disembark, Clover and Thunnelda staying on the boat.

  

The Hissers connected telepathically with the group, introducing themselves as Ssezzithis,Vrok , Zuriss, and Hraliss.    They noted Sonny and Pete were remembered by their people for their actions in the Notex village.  

They simply wanted to engage with the human-dominated villages to announce the lands across the river from Riverbend were now official under the protection of the Overlord of Bon-Parr, Urisinus I.  Travel within the new borders was still permitted, although heavily regulated.  

The group learned that Bon-Parr was a mutant animal-dominated regime, which was now working around the Wildlands and recruiting other animal settlements. Jainus and Koto Dam were still out of their range, but the footpath from Jainus to Fair-Town was considered under the protection Ursinus.

Despite the foreboding talk, the Hissers were hoping for success with this new alliance, and some opportunity for trade.   "The Overlord has no desire to cross the big river.  If the others respect these demands, we may respect theirs.

They also learned that agents of Bon-Parr had continued to explore Rho Facility next to Notex.  

"Of course all animals are welcome in Bon-Parr and amongst the Ranks of the Fit, as the Overlord will appreciate your gifts much more than the humans....  "  and with that, the Hissers departed.

GM Notes:  "Nuggies" are typically crafted from mutated creatures like plump squiggles, oversized insect larvae, or rat-birds. These strange animals are raised or hunted for their edible flesh, and their taste varies from mildly sour to an oddly sweet and savory blend. The flesh is chopped or ground up to a paste that somewhat resembles old-world meat, then shaped into nugget-like forms.

Next: #86 -

Happy Bastille Day!

 

The Chaos of the FLGS

First off, in a world of rising costs and generally poor distribution, I'm shocked to see as many game stores still going, perhaps relying hard on their core demographic.  Hopefully they're actively trying to recruit more...

And it's already a mess with the Diamond Comic Distributor (and by default Alliance Game Distribution) bankruptcy.     The current judges have instructed folks to liquidate existing inventory, which includes product that the distributor technically hasn't paid for...  

Locally, I've seen two store trying to get through two potential death knells.

Sword in the Stone is the largest store in the area, I've been a fan and a customer since they set up shop four locations ago.  My latest lament was that they pushed back their #FreeRPGDay activities a week late, throwing off some of my personal plans.  

And what happens when that event rolls around?   Massive power outage with the mall's infrastructure.  The mall itself was closed for DAYS and only recently reopened.  With that much down time, it's a disaster for sales, invoicing, and payroll.  And let's not even think of another option,  the power problems at the mall zapped the stores AC unit.  It was bearable in the store, even with two events running this weekend, but nothing like the ice box in the rest of the mall.

And even closer to home, Dragon Knight Games just closed up shop and moved out for their location, a mile away from me.  They only left a cryptic message on social media and on the door to look for them to reopen at a different location... maybe August.  

Here's looking to see if both stores recover from their different situations. 

(Review) Haven for Heroes - Port Jervis, New York

 So, the move of my ex-wife and kids to Upstate New York was semi-successful.  The house is still half-full of crap, the kids' social calendars for July are still in Pennsylvania, and one of the cats escaped during the move.  

Case in point:  Millie already had summer engagements and missed most of the moving brouhaha, so when the missing cat showed up at the house and Millie was ready to be shipped up north, we arranged a swap just before I reached the Newburgh exit of the Thruway.  And despite a full day of other tasks to take care of, that meant that after returning Millie and a cat,  I still had enough time to swing into Haven for Heroes in Port Jervis, New York. 

Haven for Heroes is the classic comic book shop of my youth, with all the good and the bad that comes with that.

The store is dominated by comics: long boxes, short boxes, wire racks, and wooden shelves. On the day I was there, it was the focus of all the customers, making it fairly busy. It was an amount of searching that I haven't seen in quite awhile, outside of actual comic conventions. Honestly, there's not too much related to gaming besides a display of mostly D&D 5e, dice, Magic, and Pokemon, but let's cover my normal format.

Location:  Front St is right in middle of downtown Port Jervis.  Street parking with no meters in sight (a huge plus!)  

And yes, since it was a hot-button issue on other reviews, I was greeted, simultaneously, by two staff in the store.  

Cleanliness: It's a cluttered mess, but its a clean cluttered mess.  There's just so much stuff that your classic Warhammer/Pokemon mom might be taken aback. 

But I'll give credit where credit is due, when your action figure case is clean, properly stocked and LIT, I have a bit more faith in operations. 

Miniatures:  Outside a few Warhammer novels, and some antique lead figures stuck away on a corner shelf, nothing. 

Board Games:  A bit surprised that I don't recall seeing any, but the classic shops of my youth grumbled getting Settlers of Catan and Apples to Apples back in the day.  

RPGs: A solid selection D&D 5e, some other random supplements, and an inordinate number of Mayfair DC Heroes modules, which  younger me would have gone ga-ga over. 

CCGs: A solid selection of Magic with a variety of singles, a full case of Pokemon singles as well.  

Accessories: A healthy supply of base level (re: inexpensive) dice, card sleeves, and CCG accessories.  

The Other Stuff: Thirty years ago in worked in a comic shop that did draw in considerable business with Used CDs, so diversification is key.  I just didn't expect this: 

Lord Vader finds your lack of bass disturbing...

Audio equipment, LPs, DVDs, and VHS had a prominent space in the back.

The video game section was quite impressive, running from current Playstation/xBox to Atari/Colecovision, to even older items. 

I forgot how much I missed me some Atari Bowling...

Comics: The bread and butter, is a little haphazard.  I figured out the new releases, but outside of the items on display behind the counter, I found very little priced and even unbagged back issues in the long boxes.

Events: There are a number of tables in the back, and a quick look at their Facebook page has Magic and even Lorcana events through the end of last year (and one Magic event this past May).  Funny thing is I swear I saw pictures of a full table use during an event, and now I can't find it.  

A deviation from what I normally talk about, but I will say this:  They had an honest to God decent sales while I was there, possibly drawing in some of the customers.  Huge fan of a properly organized and specified sale!

Since my blog is 95+% gaming, and since my modern sense of practicality overrides my heavy sense of nostalgia, I'll be force to give Haven for Heroes a solid three out of five gnomes.

Just the fact of having a store that sells games in a town, and does a considerable amount of Magic is a huge boon.  I love the diversification, I love the nostalgia.  But it has it's limits. 

Haven for Heroes is found at 34-36 Front Street - Port Jervis, NY.  Hours are 12-8 Tuesday-Saturday, 12-6 Sunday, closed Monday.   They are available online at Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube.

(Painting) Defensive Entrenchments

Time for a complete rebuild of existing terrain.

I had originally built some defensive entrenchments for my Samoan Civil War game for Cold Wars 2014.  They weren't horrible, but I did mount wooden blocks with modeling clay on flimsy cardboard bases.  I'm surprised they didn't disintegrate within the year. 

I only managed to salvage the pieces of wood that formed the basis of the planks, and took advantage of some Woodland Scenics flex paste I picked up on sale at the FLGS, so I hope that they'll last a bit, IF I figure out good storage.  

This had been originally inspired by a 15 year old post from the unfortunately defunct Armored Ink blog.  Every month the sites the images were originally posted to are going bad, so I'm not even sure what they looked like in battle.

Next: Some additional terrain for our Fistful of Lead sci-fi games at Historicon.

Project 350:  Keeping things steady at 462 (286 drafts / 176 scheduled) posts from 461 (286 drafts/175 scheduled) before the holiday.  With #RPGaDay skewing the numbers by the end of the month, I think we'll have one last number before the Project goes on hiatus.  A quick look in the post-COVID world shows this hiatus usually ups the number by 10-20, usually scheduled posts as part of the backlog.  I am pretty proud to say that if Project 350 just counted the drafts and ideas hiding behind the scenes, I would have succeeded already, being at lowest number in years.

Laserburn Rules Back in Stock at Alternative Armies

I'm not a huge fan of Alternative Armies leaving their blog and submitting news on their own website, but I am delighted that Alternative Armies News does appear on my Google Blog Reading List.

Good news, though!  Paperback hardcopies of the classic Laserburn rules, as well as  Advanced Laserburn, and Imperial Commander are finally back in stock, as well as a host of the original "true" 15mm sci-fi minis.  

I'm of the age that, with full hindsight and proper mail ordering, Laserburn would be my initial choice in rules, and figures.