(Kickstarter) Bugs: Into the Tunnels by Acheson Creations

I've got enough Kickstarters on my pending list, all finishing up right around Valentine's Day.  Then Acheson Creations throws another one out their with their 15mm Bugs: Into the Tunnels game rules, pewter figs, and resin tunnel sections.

The only thing that saved me from jumping in is the scale.  15mm is something that I've managed to avoid thus far, but the idea of 111 minis for $40 is certainly an enticing reason to start.

There's plenty of other games out there with Troopers taking starships to bug-infested planets and killing them, but this one seems a bit more practical, and the actual rules seem to plan out random tunnel creation for additional play time, as well as campaign play.

The Continental is Purchased by Dutch Wonderland

According to this article Dutch Wonderland has purchased the neighboring Continental Inn for a cool $4.7 million.  While the promised renovations might be welcome, that fact they have effectively closed the facility and cancelled all future reservations creates a huge problem for some gamers, as the Continental is a well-known feeder hotel for the HMGS cons at the Lancaster Host.

Even with advanced planning, my traditional "Guy's Weekend" to Cold Wars in March was hitting some snags for the second straight year, but the eradication of my go-to hotel in Lancaster just puts me down in the dumps.  Sure, the bathrooms were nostalgically dated, but in the twenty years my family has used the Contiental, we've had nary a problem, plenty of good breakfasts, and a safe, inexpensie place to stumble to after libations with the guys at the conventions, even if it meant late-night Frogger across US 30.

With the loss of my lodging for Cold Wars and an unknown future for The Weekend in April, my disappointment still doesn't compare to that of my kids.  The retro arrangement of the rooms, the serve-yourself breakfast, and the dual pools were the high points of our trips to Lancaster, far exceeding the two very mediocre and overpriced visits we made to Dutch Wonderland.

The only true positive I can see is that perhaps the hotel could be attached to the Dutch Wonderland parking lot, and allow the use of the traffic light to make left hand turns.

It's sad that I can say this picture was from a simpler time...

Ballad of the Pigeon God #43: Spiders in the Vineyard

After just discovering the long-lost fathers for Talis Makolin and Echelon were the same man, the death of that very same man, the possible assassination of the good king, and the ascension of a man who had previously referred himself as the "Dread Lord,"  it was a rough week back for our heroes.

Oh yes, the new evil King declared our heroes dead, and gave Echelon's barony to a ten year old boy. It was not a rosy picture.

8 OctDec 1071 Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
With Talis Makolin getting an escort to the Blue Wizard Inn by friend and ally Torm Touchberry, the others decided to give up the idea of hiding on their estate, get their extended Chateau family together, and let everyone else know what was going one.  Of course, despite Baronial Regent Lady Iris aware of the heroes vitality, they wanted to keep this secret from the young Baron Timmy and his adoptive mother, Jenny d'Echelon, who normally resided at the Baronial manor.

A meal was prepared, as everyone revealed the shocking news of the heroes' survival.  The estate was abuzz, along with a few questions, such as if Talis was revealed to be alive, as a half-brother, would he take over as baron instead of Timmy.

(Okay, only Talis brought up such a point, but it was a valid one.)

Such jovial ribbing was stopped cold by Dew Xyclone, former noblewoman/rescued captive/now dutiful serving woman of the estate, as she delivered a platter to the table, picked up the carving knife, and quickly sliced the throat of Carthon d'Echelon. Carthon's nearly severed head slammed onto the banquet table and Dew's body morphed and contorted. She was a spider-person... again! And this one could cast magic!

The dining room turned to chaos as most normal residents scattered for cover and none of the heroes had brought any weapons bigger than a dagger with them.

Ultimately, Norm Dingleberry needed to run the creature through with a broken chair leg before it finally fell.

Talis was still at the Blue Wizard, working on his third bottle of wine with Captain Touchberry and listening to the sweet singing of Ariel the Bard.  Norm came in with the horrible news of Carthon's death and a spider-person in the house and even that couldn't sober the bard up.

9 OctDec 1071 Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The following  morning, the party acted on some frothing comments made by the Spider-Person Dew before she was killed by a chair leg.   They ventured off to an old overgrown vineyard on the edge of the property.  Scouring the entire tangled mess, they decided to set it all on fire, to flush out any other spider-people. 

11 OctDec 1071 Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
With the flames still smoldering, a detachment of militia and Chateau inhabitants searched the vineyard again. They found the bodies of Dew and two townsfolk buried under the ash of where a thicket once stood.  Upon learning of real Dew's death, Norm destroyed the kitchen, then packed up to return to Lansluck, only muttering to himself that he must take full command of the Southern Army, and flush out any Spider-People.

He did spend one moment of clarity with Talis to arrange a password in the language of Cymril, just in case either got turned into a spider-person.

RIP: Carthon d'Echelon and Dew Xyclone (and two NPC peasants)

DM Notes:  By the end of this episode, the fall of Ruuna and possible dwarven invasion spreading further into the lands of man was the last thing on everyone's minds! 

The Kingdom is doomed, spider-people are everywhere, and loved ones are dying.  Not a good place to be right now.

To be honest, once I finished episodes #42 and #43, I sent a message to my players who are helping me fill in the blanks from the journal:

"You guys leave the country to go on one little diplomatic envoy, and the DM starts going all Game of Thrones on your asses."

The deaths of Carthon, Dew, and Winston (Talis and Echelon's Dad) threw the brakes on any sort of planning they had barely started.  Some of our key PCs are going to be distracted by war, family, and spider-people, and the rest need to help with the harvest so no one starves over the winter.  The loss of Dew (main housekeeper), Carthon (the Master of the Chateau),  and Winston (Sherriff loyal to Echelon), creates turmoil in the barony. 

So it makes sense that next episode goes completely off the rails...
Finally, the one question I thought of while writing out the last two episodes was "Why didn't Pathfinder sniff out the spider-person doppleganger Dew?"  Pathfiner, for the unfaithful reader, is the intelligent wolf with a telepathic link to Echelon (See Episode #3 for a first appearance).  The journal specifically said that Pathfinder and Velandro's kobold acolyte Dag did not accompany them to Ruuna, so they obviously stayed at the Chateau. 

First off, let's just call it DM oversight.   Too many moving pieces to keep track off.  But Pathfinder either stayed by Echelon's side, or stayed out of sight.  There would be few opportunities for him to sniff out the imposter.  As a retcon, I might even go far as to say the wolf ironically helped worked the folks and herds of animals on the estate, assisting the farmhands, the Dag family, etc, and spent the hot summer days and nights relaxing by the barn, a definite deterrent for any other predators who come by.

NEXT #44: What really happened in Ruuna - Echelon's Side of the Story

Family Games Decathalon

With the craziness of the holidays and the sub-arctic cold snap, it was thought best to play some games, some traditional, others "like games Daddy likes" and score points to determine the finest Game Decathlete amongst us.  With my wife willing to play a number of the games, everyone had a chance.

#1 Candyland:  I don't mind the licensed games (this time Minnie Mouse), but I so long for the cards for movement.  Way too many fights over spinner results.  Millie was DQ'd for spinner tampering so it was
1) Maja  2) Mom  3) Dad 4) Millie.

#2 Uno:
1) Dad  2) Maja  3) Millie 4) Mom 

#3 Hot Shot Basketball:
1) Millie 2) Dad  3) Maja  4) Mom 

#4 Car Wars the Card Game:
1) Maja   2) Dad 3) Millie  4) None 

#5 Zombie Dice:
1) Dad   2) Maja  3) Millie  4) None   

#6 Dungeon Roll:
1) Maja   2) Dad 3) Millie 4) None   

#7 Santa's Bag:
1) Dad    2) Maja  3) Millie  4) None 

#8 Connect Four:
1) Dad    2)Mom   3)Maja   4)Millie   

#9 Pop the Pigs
1) Mom   2)Millie   3)Maja   4) None

#10 Martian Dice (Because Chupacabre Dice are missing)
1) Maja    2)Dad    3)Millie   4) None

With an impressive come from behind win, Maja's victory in Martian Dice cements her overall championship as Family Game Decathlete!

Project 350 Week 2, Plus Convention Issues

Two weeks down on my quest to get the collected drafts and scheduled posts hiding in the background of my blog down to a "reasonable" 350.

As we near a month left in my process, I'm down to 364

With this post listed as a "Scheduled"

I have mixed feelings when I say all of the writing projects for January-February are done, because that means I need to play more games and paint more figures to get those Drafts down.

Otherwise, it's adjusting conventions with hockey.  I just discovered we have tickets in Hershey the Saturday of Cold Wars, as well as some familiar duties during Mepacon or The Weekend, yet somehow the wife has weaseled another cruise out of me for May 2019. 

On the plus side, my wife has taken the week of St Patrick's Day off, so I can venture down to Cold Wars on Thursday night.  

Job Opening at Pop’s Culture Shoppe

I've had a massive rant over the state of the local game stores brewing for weeks, but I've just not been able to compose it in a practical manner.  In fact,every time I went to work on it, I'd get a paragraph or two done, and end up even angrier.

I was just about to post the entire incomplete and incoherent diatribe, when an e-mail alert distracted me:

WHAT'S POPPIN'

Dear Eric, POP’S is HIRING!  You may have heard that Ryan, our Magic the Gathering Coordinator who has been with us at Pop’s for the past three-and-a-half years, will soon be off on a new venture.  Congratulations to Ryan on taking this big step in his career! If you may be interested in joining the Pop’s family, and helping Mom and Pop, here is what we are looking for: Friendly Customer Service                 Assist customers in finding products                 Check-out customers at the register                 Teach or demonstrate games and products List and fulfill web-orders                 Sort and inventory products                 Take, edit, and upload pictures                 Update and create listings                 Accurately pull products for internet orders                 Carefully package, weigh and prepare orders for shipping Maintain the Pop’s environment                 Assist with family-friendly playroom events                 Clean (store, playroom, basement, outside) Magic the Gathering (and other collectible games) Coordinator                 Schedule and execute events                 Use social media and print resources to advertise events                 Maintain singles, sealed, and supplies inventories __________________________________________ We expect to fill this position with one full-time or two part-time individuals at 20-25 hours each per week.  Hourly rates are negotiable based on experience, and varying hours are available, though some Saturdays or Evenings may be required. Special note:  We are a game store with a family orientation so the environment is wonderful, but the job does not involve playing games.  It is a small retail operation.   We are looking for hard-working, responsible, trustworthy, accurate, detail-oriented candidates, with excellent computer, verbal, and written communication skills.  All employees and volunteers at Pop’s Culture Shoppe are also required to pass Child Abuse and Criminal Background Checks. If you think you have what it takes to join our family here at Pop’s, interested candidates may contact us at info AT popscultureshoppe.com (edited by ViscountEric to prevent spam) , or stop by to pick up an application. Thanks for your consideration, and feel free to share with other potential applicants as well, Anja and Julian Stam

Why did I forward their job posting, besides the fact that the Stams are really nice people who run a quality organization?

Just so there's additional proof on the internet that there are such a thing as job duties and qualifications for a game store employee.

Ryan was their resident "Doctor Magic" who handled tournaments, web sales, and binders upon binders full of cards.  Remembering that when I left two game shops, the owners needed to replace me with two 30+ hour employees, I appreciate their foresight to recognize that Ryan's replacement(s) has considerable shoes to fill.

And the line, "All employees and volunteers at Pop’s Culture Shoppe are also required to pass Child Abuse and Criminal Background Checks," gave me an uneasy laugh, as there are far too many stores out there with staff that give men pause, much less women and children.  As expected , Pop's doesn't play games with the welfare of your family while their visiting the store.  It's surprising that's not the attitude everywhere.

Again, my wife is lucky to have snatched me off the market when she did, because if I was still a single dude living in Wellsboro, my resume would be polished up and to the store in a matter of seconds.  

Spies Like Us! for Savage Worlds

With the bitter cold after Christmas, we hunkered down in the Casa de ViscountEric, played a few traditional boardgames, and searched the internet for the perfect Facebook picture to represent the discontent with out winter.

For it was the classic Dan Akroyd/Chevy Chase film, Spies Like Us. 

After finding a copy to watch, and multiple viewings to remind me just how awesome this film is still today, it was time to stat out the characters from the movie.

First rule of the Spies Like Us universe:  Just about everyone is an incompetent mooks.  The Generals, the Afghan freedom fighters, the ICBM crew, even the KGB Agents are too incompetent to be given Wild Card status.

Austin Millbarge 
Agility d6  Smarts d8  Spirit d6  Strength d4  Vigor d8

Pace 6  Parry 5  Toughness 6 Charisma 0

Edge:  McGuyver, Scholar

Hindrances: Overconfident Know-It-All

Skills: Fighting  d6, Shooting d8 ,Throwing d4, Healing d4(-2), Investigation d8 Streetwise  d6, Survival d6,  Climbing d6, Repair d10, Notice d8, Riding d8, Language: Russian d8(+2), Knowledge: Soviet Tech d8(+2)
  

Austin starts the movie as the already indispensable tech guy hidden in the Pentagon, but as the movie progresses, his knowledge of all Soviet materials and processes is trumped by his rescue of Fitz Hume, dual-wielding machine pistols while riding a horse.  He's easily a Veteran character in Savage Worlds. 

Emmett Fitz-Hume
Agility d4   Smarts d6  Spirit d8 Strength d4 Vigor d8

Pace 6  Parry 4  Toughness 6 Charisma +2

Edge:  Charismatic (+2)

Hindrances: Yellow

Skills: Fighting d4,  Shooting d6,  Driving d4, Stealth d4, Throwing d10  Investigation d4,  Notice d4, Stealth d4 (-2), Healing d4(-2), Persuasion d10(+2), Taunt d6

The pedigree is there after generations of his family working as envoys, but Fitz-Hume is really only good at two things in the movie: BSing everyone, and magically tossing a grenade through a window and into another box of grenades.  With the added skills, Fitz-Hume is a seasoned Wild Card in the Foreign Service.. or a TV game show.

Karen Boyer
Agility d6  Smarts d6 Spirit d6  Strength d6 Vigor d6

Pace 6  Parry   Toughness  Charisma +4

Edge:  Attractive, Charisma, Alertness, Dodge

Hindrances: Code of Honor, Loyal

Skills: Fighting d6, Shooting d6, Stealth d6,  Investigation d6, Streetwise d6 Survival d6  Persuasion d6(+4), Repair d6, Riding d6, Notice d6(+2), Healing d4(-2), Lockpicking d6, Knowledge: Soviet Tech d6, 

Karen Boyer is smart, resourceful, and beautiful, a powerful, but very balanced combination.  She would be the only person in the movie able to convince Fitz-Hume to perform an appendectomy, and for good reason.  Unfortunately, we don't get to see her kick butt, so we don't know the extent of her training, but we can assume that attributes and skills are bare minimums and should be higher.  Despite years more of experience, her partner, Jerry Hadley, allowed Soviet agents to discover them, and died like some rank amateur, thus following the rule: everyone else is a mook. 

Colonel Rhombus
Agility d8 Smarts d6  Spirit d6  Strength d6 Vigor d8

Pace 6  Parry 6  Toughness 6 Charisma 0

Edges: Command Presence, Inspire, Assassin, Leader of Men, Martial Artist,

Hindrances: Arrogant, Loyal

Skills: Fighting d10, Shooting d10, Throwing d6, Intimidation d8, Notice d6, Stealth d8, Survival d8, Swimming d6, Climbing d8

Colonel Rhombus is either a Iron Man 3 Mandarin-like actor used by the State Department to process the decoy GLG-20s, or a well trained killing machine that I hope he is.  His actions in the forest against the ninjas help give credence to the latter theory.  His extraordinary leadership edges plus his intimidation skill explains why Millbarge and Fitz-Hume go along with all the gonzo training as long as they do.  

Apathy of the New Releases (Feb '18)

Another month, another issue of Game Trade Magazine soliciting the new releases to retailers and thier customers.  It's not an overwhelming selection, but for a store, any month that lists a new Magic set means a little financial security.

ViscountEric's Want List
Nothing...

ViscountEric's Money-Is-No-Object Want List
Compass Games 
Lion of Judah:  The War for Ethiopia 1935-1941......... $69.00

Devir Americas
Gretchinz ....................................................................... $34.99

Osprey Publishing
Burrows and Badgers .................................................... $30.00
The Kingdom of Northymbra is a land in turmoil. King Redwulf is missing, and his son rules as regent in his stead, facing threats from within and without: growing dissension among the knights and nobles of the realm, whispers of revolution from the  Freebeasts, Wildbeasts encroaching on the borders, and bandits of all stripes making the most of the chaos. Burrows & Badgers is a tabletop skirmish game set in the ancient realm of Northymbra, a kingdom where mice, badgers, toads, and other animals wear armor, wield swords, and cast magic spells. Your tabletop becomes part of the
Kingdom of Northymbra, whose ruined villages, haunted forests, and misty marshes play host to brutal ambushes and desperate  skirmishes. Lead your warband from battle to battle, and uphold the name of your faction, whether you stand with Reinert’s Royalists, the Freebeasts of the Fox Families,
or simply for your own glory or survival.

The Imaginary Store List (The Pegleg Gnome)
9th Level Games
Bearicades ............................................................................ $25.00

Alderac Entertainment Group
Istanbul: The Dice Game ...................................................... $29.99

The Army Painter
Project Paint Station .............................................................. $29.99

Asmodee Editions
Attack of the Jelly Monster .................................................... $19.99
CIV ......................................................................................... $24.99

Avalanche Press
Great War at Sea:  Jutland 1919 ............................................. $29.99

Backspindle Games
Dance of the Fireflies ............................................................. $24.99

Bandai
Dragon Ball Super Themed "Tournament of Power" Boosters

Catalyst Game Labs
Shadowrun RPG:  Dark Terrors .............................................. $44.99
Shadworun RPG:  Better than Bad .........................................  $44.99

Cryptozoic
Rick and Morty: The Ricks Must Be Crazy Multiverse Game .. $20.00

Dan Verssen Games
Gamer Pack ............................................................................. $49.99
Phantom Leader Deluxe Minis ............................................... $39.99
Thunderbolt Apache Leader Minis ........................................   $24.99

Days of Wonder 
Smallworld Power Pack #1 Expansion ................................... $29.99
Smallworld Power Pack #2 Expansion .................................... $29.99

Fantasy Flight Games
Mansions of Madness 2nd Edition: Sanctum of Twilight ......... $29.95
Star Wars: Legion - General Veers Commander Exp.  .............. $12.95
Star Wars: Legion - Snowtroopers Unit Exp ............................. $24.95

Goodman Games
Dungeon Crawl Classics #96:  The Tower of Faces .................. $ 9.99

Greater Than Games
Scythe:  Realistic Resources ...................................................... $30.00

Konami
Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG Star Pack Vrains Boosters

Mantic Entertainment
Dread Ball, 2nd Edition Boxed Game ..................................... $79.99
Dread Ball, Collector's Edition Rulebook ............................... $39.99
Clash of Kings 2018 Supplement ............................................ $24.99
The Walking Dead AOW: Woodbury Estates MDF Kit ......... $124.99
4 MDF houses, available individually for $34.99 each.

Plus there's a bunch of War Path units and armies. One reason for people to look at it:  Games Workshop prices from twenty years ago.

Modiphius
Tales from the Loop:  Our Friends the Machines ..................... $33.99

Osprey Publishing
Bolt Action: Campaign Market Garden .................................... $30.00
Dracula's America: Shadows of the West - Hunting Grounds ... $25.00
Frostgrave: Ghost Archipelago Lost Colossus .......................... $16.00
Kobolds and Cobblestones: Fantasy Gang Rumbles ................. $19.00
Outremer: Faith and Blood - Crusade Skirmishes ..................... $19.00
Secret Agent Pocket Manual 1939-1945 ................................... $15.00
Wartime Broadcasting ................................................................ $14.00

Paizo Publishing
Pathfinder ACG:  Ultimate Magic Add-On Deck ...................... $19.99
Pathfinder RPG: AP: War for the Crown Part 3 - Twilight Child .... $24.99
Pathfinder RPG: Campaign: Nidal Land of Shadows ................ $22.99
Pathfinder RPG: Bestiary 4 (Pocket Edition) ............................. $19.99
Pathfinder RPG: Ultimate Magic (Pocket Edition) .................... $19.99
Starfinder RPG: AP: Dead Suns Pt 5 - The Thirteenth Gate....... $22.99

Pokemon USA
Pokemon TCG: Lucario -GX Box

Steve Jackson Games
Munchkin CCG: The Desolation of Blarg Boosters ...................... $3.95 each

Troll Lord Games
Castles and Crusades:  C6 Ends Meet ............................................ $9.99
Castles and Crusades:  C7 Castle on the Hill ................................. $9.99
5th Edition Adventures:  A Lion in the Ropes ............................... $9.99

Twilight Creations 
Zombies!!! Ultimate Collector's Box Empty ............................. $50.00
For those who already have all of the Zombies!!! game, but Empty is a misnomer.  It does come with 3D Heart and Bullet tokens, as well as the Official Soundtrack from Midnight Syndicate.

Wizards of the Coast
Magic The Gathering CCG:  Dominaria
Boosters, Bundles, and Decks

WizKids
Curio: Lost Temple ................................................................... $34.99
DC Dice Masters: Harley Quinn Team Pack ...........................  $ 9.99
Doppleganger ............................................................................ $24.99
Fungeon Party ........................................................................... $29.99
Maiden's Quest .........................................................................  $19.99
Warhammer 40K Dice Masters: Battle for Ultramar Campaign Box ...... $39.99

Z-Man Games
Blueprints .................................................................................. $29.99

(Painting) OGRE GEV in Arctic Camo

The snow is melting here (for now), but I've started tinkering with the second largest collection of minis I've gotten in the past year:  The plastic OGRE Miniatures Set One.

Lots of paint the 40+ minis, as I delicately sort them out evenly to paint them two different schemes (and the OGREs a third scheme). 

I decided to try the GEVs as the test subjects, and in the scheme of Pinterest ideas that "evolve" when regular folk try them out, here's my first attempt at an arctic camo scheme... and first time with any camo at any scale:

For the example of what the GEV should look like, check out Too Mini.   

Next Up:  I cleaned up the work station yet again, snagged up some better brushes, but the list is still Middle-Eastern MDF buildings, a few accesories, and some camo-free OGRE minis. 

(Kickstarter) The Hidden Halls of Hazakor

Fifth Edition modules on Kickstarter are a dime a dozen.  The artwork is usually lacking and the adventure plot is simply regurgitated from the last 40 years... with a twist!

So what made me take note of and want to write about Insane Angel's The Hidden Halls of Hazakor?

Just look at the Jackie Musto cover art.

First I was drawn in by the kid-adventurers.  Then I noticed they were all women (although with dwarven cultures, you're never quite sure). Then I realized there were four different races (human, dwarf, halfling...and an elf in a hijab.).  Yeah, none of them are close to fantasy Caucasian either.

Perhaps it's the fact that I'm not a crotchety old white neckbeard that should feel offended by the idea of kids (possibly girls!) playing a fantasy game where the people are of different ethnicities... even if it matches their own.

I also would like to subscribe to the dwarf cleric's newsletter.  Her gear simply screams for an epic story.

My ramblings aside, The Hidden Halls of Hazakor is a 5th Edition D&D module written by Scott Fitzgerald Gray for beginning Dungeon Masters and 1st level characters.

This adventure builds on the rules and information presented in the D&D core rulebooks and the D&D Starter Set, and on the first-time DM's experience of having previously been a player in the game. A beginning DM running the adventure will learn to think about the ways in which the story can go in different directions based on what the characters do — and how to not be scared when it does. They’ll practice bringing NPCs to life by way of interesting quirks, to help the players engage with and remember them. They’ll get tips on running fun combat sessions, building from an initial slate of simple, single-foe encounters to more complex fights. And they’ll learn to use humor as a tool to make the game interesting and memorable, especially for other younger players.

Ballad of the Pigeon God #42: Brothers in Arms

29 HexDec 1071 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Upon Talis Makolin's discovery of the death of the King of Crosedes and Baron Echelon getting replaced by a ten-year old boy, he needed to talk to his friend Norm Dingleberry, newly minted royal knight and recently commissioned General of the Southern Armies responsible to preventing the War in Ruuna from spreading into the kingdom.

The dwarf was resting in the bungalow of Babette and her infant twin boys. The first thing that Talis noticed was the normally sloppy dwarf's impeccable dress and hygiene. The biggest thing was complete absence of a beard. Norm still had long, groomed sideburns running down parallel with his mouth, but the center of his face was completely shaved.

Norm did little to placate or worry the bard. He knew the new King was a bad man, but it was wiser to pledge allegiance to him, earn his trust, and figure out his true angle. There was no direct route from the fort in Lansluck to Ruuna, so he anticipated regular patrols and keeping the rest occupied with building a road, maybe a fort closer to the border.  No real danger that he couldn't handle.
Regardless, the dwarf promised frequent visits.  

"Lansluck is very quick by pony.  You need to stay hidden for now, Talis."

Norm hugged his friends, kissed the babies, and tried to make amends with his beloved Dew before departing for Lansluck.  The housekeeper treated him slightly better than before, but it was more of a maternal instinct towards him and the love and passion they had shared before.  Dejectedly, Norm departed on his pony, My Lyl.

36 HexDec 1071 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Lady Iris escorted Baron Timmy and his adoptive mother (and Carthon's wife) Jenny back to the Chateau for a family meal.  Talis was ushered down into the wine cellar to prevent Timmy from discovering him.  The bard managed to sneak a peek at the young boy trying so very hard to act noble and dignified, yet still having all the energy and spirit he had running through the woods of the Chateau.  Right after dessert, Carthon took Lady Iris down to the wine cellar to reveal Talis, and the knight was relieved.  Like his other friends, she suggested he stay hidden, at least through the Fall... or the hopeful return of the "lost" Baron Echelon and company.

"Regardless of the others' status, you are still a Knight of the Pigeon, Talis, alongside Norm.  Once Timmy is more comfortable, I may allow him at Yule to name more trusted Knights to your ranks, but for now you are still entrusted with defense of the Barony and the defense of the Baron.  I know you would have risked your life for that little boy before you left for Ruuna.  Nothing has changed."

With that, she departed, leaving Talis to a long period of isolation and introspection.
And possibly wine.

5 OctDec 1070 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
A bedraggled Echelon, Melandria, and Velandro finally arrived at the Chateau. They had been unsuccessful in negotiating with the dwarves and their rampage through Ruuna, and subsequently thrown out of Skyforge when "Royal Agents of the King of Crosedes" arrived to negotiate. 

They were quickly moved to the wine cellar, to meet a half-drunk Talis. 

"I get why Mohammad stays in a closet.  It's *hiccup* relaxing."

They were informed of their recent deaths and the installation of Baron Timmy. Echelon decided it wise that they should stay dead, "Lest the new king send people out after us."

6 OctDec 1070 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Norm arrived for a quick visit while his troops built a road from Lansluck to the road to Ruuna. He had received correspondence from the King that he was to immediately report to Lady Iris if the three diplomats... or Count Zabty showed up. 

"Too bad you are all under an invisibility spell and I, Sir Norm, am talking out loud to himself." *WINK WINK*

Amongst meetings on the far end of the Chateau with trustworthy individuals (Carthon, Jenny, Felix) three glaring facts had somehow been completely overlooked: Ariel the Bard had moved out and resided as the permanent musician at the Blue Wizard Inn, Rolf never returned from his mission in Hydincall, and Ashe and his brother Binklen had disappeared at some point over the last few weeks... and no one cared enough to notice. 

8 OctDec 1070  Outside the Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Torm Touchberry, Captain of the Baronial militia, somehow got wind of the group's miraculous recovery and visited the Chateau. He informed everyone that Winston, the sheriff had been ambushed a killed outside of Lowdale.   He requested the following travel incognito with him to Winston's small home:

Echelon  cleric of the eastern god of the sea, pigeon aficionado, former Baron, now presumed dead by the new evil King. 
Mellandria, mage, former Baronial scribe, now presumed dead by the new evil King
Velandro:   Ardent priest of Akana, now presumed dead by the new evil King
Talis Makolin:  lover, bard, Knight of the Pigeon, now presumed dead by the new evil King
Norm:  Dwarven fighter, Knight of Pigeon, Red Knight of Crosedes, and Commander of the Southern Armies against the dwarves of Skyforge.  Known to be alive and well by the new evil King.

The house was messy medieval bachelor pad, that had little of value, save Winston's last will and testament. 

The will declared his two sons, born out of wedlock, were the only heirs to his family's estate outside of Omsjik:  The child of Yalana Makolin, and the child of Mersene Riemann.

Echelon scratched his chin, "Hey Talis, that woman has the same last name as you... and that other woman happens to have the same name as my mom.... err.... wha???"

Echelon, Mellandria, Norm, and Velandro rode back to the Chateau with paperwork.

Talis did what any young man would do at this point.

He rode back to the Blue Wizard Inn with Torm, stuffed his outrageously large hat in a saddlebag, and got completely shit-faced.

RIP: Winston Maless

A Young Winston, Sowing His Wild Oats in Omsjik

Premature RIP:  Echelon, Melandria, Talis and Velandro

DM Notes:  The party returning to the Chateau d'Echelon and discovering everyone was assumed dead was bad enough.  Finding out the Baronial Sheriff was murdered was worse.  But discovering the murdered sheriff was the long-lost father of two of the player characters? 

I think player SAN checks were in order.

The moral of the story: When two players hand in character stories on the same night and both characters go the "Mother was a prostitute/father unknown" route and they both live in the same hometown, it's simply begging to go the half-brother route. 

6 HepDec 1070 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes *FLASHBACK*
Ariel the Bard crept slowly down the halls of the Chateau.  She had already finished four different chores this morning and Dew still wasn't ready for breakfast.  Her donation towards the "greater good" Carthon and "Baron" Felix constantly talked about was paid in full for the day.  Now it was time to catch a nap before an afternoon of relaxing, and a night of carousing at the Blue Wizard. 

She heard a door in the hallway creak open, and in a moment of celerity mixed with guilt, she opened the nearest door and slipped inside. 

A pair of feet walked down the hall and down the staircase.  She was still undetected. 

Then a voice inside the closet she was hiding in startled her.

"Miss Ariel, I'm not sure you are aware, but your butt is pressing against my head" 

Ariel stumbled out the closet door back out into the hallway and turned around.

There was Mohammad, Echelon's quirky little legless mentor, shielding his eyes from the light with one hand, and rubbing his head with the other.

"It was the first time Tshang Kai Shing let me sleep for days.  He needs a constant commune with me recently.  Thespian Ariel, why are you so rude?"

"Sorry, Mohammad.  I'm just avoiding people this morning. 

"You know what would be better, Ariel?  You could avoid people by MOVING OUT!" 

Ariel was shocked.  The little brown-skinned man was always so pleasant when he emerged from his little prayer room from time to time.  The anger and derision in his voice was not loud, but also tangible.

"This whole infernal 'Chateau' is full of moochers and you, foul thespian, are the biggest moocher of all!  You don't want to be here!  Go take the gold you haven't squandered away and become somewhere else.  Sing for coppers at the Blue Wizard and ply your wiles on less virtuous women than the ones here!  Begone!

The bard ran away and out into the woods to compose herself.  Rolf, the Barbarian, didn't trust her, but he had a trust issue with women.  The rest seemed to like her... except for the seething madness of a crippled old man who was afraid of the sky.

No, no one really liked her, not like that.  Not in any way, really.  They tolerated her.  Mohammad was enraged, but he could see something in her soul.  

Ariel came back to the Chateau, ignoring the comments of some of the residents, wondering where she had been all morning.  She walked into her room, grabbed her instruments and her satchel, and walked into town. 

She strolled into the Blue Wizard, introduced herself (again) to the Emerette and Fayette, the owners, and offered her musical talents for a spot to sleep and some food.  The women immediately agreed, and Ariel would be a permanent fixture in the Inn for sometime. 

NEXT #43: Spiders in the Vineyard

(Painting) Shadowrun Combat Mage and a Dangerous Damsel

It wasn't the weekend I had hoped for, but it was the weekend I needed.  Rest and lots of grade school basketball.

I also continued my nightly forays into the basement for painting and the rust continues to get knocked off...  Two items done and tons with paint on many others.

First off, a completely random figure: A Combat Mage w/ Staff for Shadowrun by Iron Wind Metals.

DS-058 now from Iron Wind Metals

I had originally thought he was the lone survivor of a giant box of Ral Partha-era Shadowrun lead, but then I remembered that he was yet another one of the free minis offered by Hobby University at HMGS Inc cons.

Don't know when I'll get to use an Uzi-toting elf mage, but the Pulp game can get a little crazy.

Speaking of Pulp, my second entry is one of the figures out of Dangerous Dames 1 from Pulp Figures:

From PHP-04

I figure with some more practice I'll finally get away from painting the "Deep One Look," but for now she's eligible to be one of the heroes for season three.

IN THE QUEUE:  A pile of buildings (25mm) and OGRE minis (6mm), but first, an attempt at tiny camouflage.

Project 350 Week One

Last week I posted about my personal Project 350, getting my backlog of blog draft  and scheduled posts from 388 down to 350.  With less craziness than my work and holiday schedules inundated me, I was hoping to finish up a few lingering write-ups, play a game or two, and paint up some figures on the bench. 

So, after the first week, how many am I down from 287 drafts and 81 scheduled?

Sonuva....

After all my huff and puff about this project, my two scheduled posts went off with the usual fanfare, outside of a Rust Monster, nothing was completed painting-wise, and outside of the my review of Pulp Alley's The Lost World of Lemuria (posted yesterday) and writing up my Apathy of New Releases column (posting 1/25), all other writing projects are 70-80% done. 

To be honest, my most fatal flaw was that my fellow gamers in the blogosphere posted some awesome, I've got some Arab Revolt painting samples, a few scenarios, and a moment of weakness where I unwisely ventured into the Orcs in the Webbe archives. 

Outside of some early basketball games Saturday, I have an uninterrupted weekend with the girls.  A painting session and a game or two and I can see up to six coming off the total.  

(Review) Pulp Alley: The Lost World of Lemuria

The good folks at Pulp Alley recently completed their Kickstarter for their The Lost World of Lemuria  Expansion for their Pulp Alley (PA) game, and I happened to back it.  I've had it for awhile now and have read through it enough times to make an adequate review.

Huge Disclaimers first.  This is my first Pulp Alley product I've purchased.  Outside of the Quick Start pdf and dozens upon dozens of actual plays, I haven't had the pleasure of actually playing the game.  I love the mechanics, the multiple uses of the card decks.  I just happen to be satisfied with running my family's pulp campaign using Savage Showdown/Worlds, but that certainly doesn't mean Pulp Alley's material doesn't translate well.

New Rules: Lemuria covers Mounts, Skimmers, and Riders, with a nice list of special abilities.  The one thing that attracts me to Pulp Alley is that the base mechanics seem simple for everything, it's just the adjustments from the special abilities.

They then cover new Abilities for the characters, as well as special rules for Non-Player Characters and Spoilers.   PA is objective (plot point) based, so spoilers negate those plot points, or the Rewards, or even even prevent characters from taking the initiative.

While it's not active in all scenarios, the existence of spoilers teases a much tougher campaign than most PA, or at least with extra drama.

The next section covers Lemuria itself, the formation of this undersea realm, the politics of the people, places of interest, and even a way to randomly determine how you arrive in this place, complete with effects on certain scenarios in the campaign.

As cool as the setting is, the main draw that got me to support the Kickstarter was the chance at multiple scenarios, and this book has 11 of them, all intended for a 3' x 3' board.

To link these scenarios into campaigns, they focus on scenario cards.  Once the major plot is successfully obtained, that league (team of characters) earns the scenario's card, which may provide additional effects, allies, or bonuses.   Each card is also worth a different number of points toward Military, Politics, and Science objectives.  Once a league controls 10 points in any one category, the player become Champion of Lemuria, and the campaign ends.  This may make a problem for me, as my pulp campaigns are usually designed around 12 "issues" (scenarios), but it appears most scenarios can be run multiple times and there's only a finite number of scenario cards for points.

The last five pages are the various campaign cards for monsters, encounters, and NPC stats, as well as the above mentioned scenario cards.

Of course, PA is driven by plot points, as well as the fortune and reward decks of cards.  The cards have a dramatic influence on the competing leagues, and the game itself, so in my heretical desire to use this for a different system, I will need to work out system appropriate cards and perhaps a few random charts.

In all, I'm pleasantly pleased with my decision to back the Kickstarter for the physical copy of the book.  We're at least two or three "seasons" away from returning to an exotic lost world of ancient beasts and cultures, but I am adding Pulp Alley to my convention wish list to purchase, and hopefully, get a chance to play it.

Even with the extra conversion (or just manning up to try out a new system), The Lost World of Lemuria is a great expansion and campaign, with plenty of replay potential.

On the Gaming with the Gnomies 5-Gnome Rating System, I give The Lost World of Lemuria four gnomes.

The Lost World of Lemuria is a 44-page comic book-sized book with b/w glossy interiors and a full color cover.   Retail is $17.99.

(Kickstarter) Life of the Party Vol 2: Roll for Initiative

Travis Hanson is at it again, launching a Kickstarter for a second volume of his collected webcomic: Life of the Party: Roll for Initiative.

Outside of a few instances where the book is called Role for Initiative (Travis is an artist, not an editor), I see this easily making its goal.  And with copies of Volume 1 being available as a $20 add-on, I see a reason to catch up on the books I've missed from him. 

(Hackmaster) Burning Trogs Redux #0.4 - Ambassador-General Fonzie Schlepprock Circa 1148

As the group creeps ever closer to doing something with Hackmaster, I bring up an interesting update to the Burning Trogs characters.  Despite the love and adoration for the Pigeon God series, seeing what's up with characters in more recent campaigns isn't hitting the gamer sweet spot that it should.  We'll see if anyone remembers once we get around to mentioning "Lord Fonz"

Ambassador-General Fonzy "The Fonz" Schlepprock
Lord of Neufonzstein, Circa 1148
8th Level Gnome Titan Fighter
Align:  NG,  Ht:  3'4"  Weight:  84 lbs   Class: UMC   Age87
Birth:  Legit, Mom:  Living, Loving.  Dad:  Living, Loving.  Heritage:  Honorable
Siblings:  1 illegitimate sibling, brother, younger (alive)  normal relationship, share Mom.
Ambidextrous
Base Movement:  9
XP:  125,365

STR:  16/19
INT:   16/97
WIS:  07/52
DEX: 13/97
CON: 12/49
CHA: 16/75
COM: 11/81
Honor:   Average

Hit Points:  46
AC:  1
Total Bonus:  +4/+7 (with +2 Short Sword)

PP:  481
GP:  24,043
EP:  2790
SP:  2470
CP:  8107

XP: 147.760

Weapon Prof:
Short Bow
Dagger
Short Sword Specialize (2/1 attacks, +1/+2 )

Talents:
Blind Fighting
Defensive Bonus (+1 Bonus to AC)
Short Sword Bonus (+1 Bonus to Hit)

Basic Gear:
Breeches, Tunic
Belt, Gloves,
Cloak
Large Belt Pouch
Backpack
Flint and Steel
Wineskin
Whistle
Rations (7 days/standard)
Rations (3 weeks, iron)
Winter blanket
rope.
1 Burning Trogs brass signet ring
Crowbar
Grappling Hook
War Pony with tack/bridle/saddle

Fine Silk Garments

Normal Weapons.
2 normal short swords
short bow
60 flight arrows
2 dagger


Armor
Medium Shield (+2 bonus to AC  -  4/3 damage remaining)
Studded Leather (  4/ 2/ 1  )
Ring Mail   (   6/  2/  1  )
Field Plate (24/12/10/8/6/4/2/1)

Magic Items
"Paingiver"  Shortsword +2  - if wounds another, must save vs spells or writhe in pain for 1d6 rounds.
Scale mail +1 (Human)
Dagger +2
Dagger +1
Peritapht of Health
Potion of Fire Resistance
Ring of Warmth

SKILLS:
First Aid Skill Suite   24%
         Cauterize Wounds
         Sew Own Wounds
         Sew Wounds
Street Cred               41%
Feign Toughness      30%
Liar, Skilled              51%
Flex Muscle              28%
Weapon Maint.          Auto (10gp/month)
Shaving/Grooming    Auto (25gp/month)
Groin Stomp              23%
Rousing Speech        47%
Mingling                     26 %
Culture and Etiquette (Barthey) 28%

Languages  
Gnomish                    100%
Common                     23%
R/W Gnome                27%
R/W Common             33%

Flaws:
Loss of eye (left)   -1 to hit
Self Absorbed
Enmity to Dwarves
Chronic Liar

Property:
Estate in Treibezond  (Neufonzstein), Duchy of Sarbonia, generates 10,000 gp/yr.

Neu-FONZ-stein (as in the German castle neuschwanstein)
He is also entrusted with general day-to-day operations of Balzmaca (Janus') in 1140 and Aiden Teppe (Cecelia's) 1143.

The Lord Fonz has built a museum/shrine of himself as an annex off the main building...similar to a british "adventurer's club" - think trophies adorning the walls and hallways of things he has acquired or "killed" (real or imagined):

• Taxidermy animals or heads hanging from the walls 
• Statues (from fictional heroes with a great back-story: i.e. mahogony carved "Brutis the Giant Slayer" found in the basement of the estate of the former 4th Baron of Cressida) 
• Weapons: Numerous "magical" weapons, mostly named items without magical powers, usually just creative props to tell a story.
• ​Paintings 
• Relics 
• Gifts acquired during his ambassadorship when he brokered great deals between warring heads of state 

​He is constantly acquiring new things to continually fill up his museum, and when he starts to run out of space, he contracts new workers to build another wing. On top of the museum stands a statue of himself, at least 3x his size, raising his sword in one hand and a giant "thumbs-up" on the other.

Twice per year, he holds a gala in the "Shrine of the Fonz" (FONZ-A-PALOOZA, baby!!!). There's  music (medieval rock-n-roll, cause he's still The Fonz), dancing, much drinking and eating, and after obligatory toasts to the Fonz by various guests, he then proceeds to regale his guests with all the stories of his latest exploits and how he acquired all his newest trophies, as well as a few "fan-favorites" when requested. It's a "can't-miss" event!

Awards, Medals
1 Phalera Tetracross (Giant medallion from Barthey Empire, to be inserted in armor)
2 Civic Crowns of Barthey (Gilded wreath of olive branches)

Obsidian Medal of Barthey (for heroism during the siege of Akorros)
A pile of ribbons and awards from Celsior and Marakeikos for actions during the civil war.
A pile of ribbons and honors from the Gnome Titan Legions picked up during random trips to bazaars.

Schlepprock Clan
Location:  Southern Gnomish City-States
Race:  Gnome Titan, some normal gnome mixed in
Social Class:  UMC
Alignment:  NG
Clan Religion:  Pangrus
Family Honor:  115
Notable Family Contacts:  None
Hereditary Grudges, Enemies, and Allies:
Dwarves of Ahzur Khai (grudge)

Ballad of the Pigeon God #41: The War in Ruuna

They were too late.  Fluchton, and probably the rest of the Duchy of Ruuna was either in flames or smoldering ruins.  It was time to try to stop this chaos from spreading... or at least get home in one piece.

21 HepDec 1071 - Town of Fluchton, Duchy of Ruuna, Ras-Prythax Empire
The group headed down from the mountains towards whatever remained of Fluchton. Once they reached a main road, they were stopped and questioned by a unit of dwarven infantry.
Baron Echelon - Baron of Eding, Cleric of the eastern god of the sea, pigeon aficionado, very poor independent diplomatic consul.
Mellandria - Mage and Baronial scribe.  Considering taking her cut of the treasure and finding new career opportunities
Talis Makolin - Knight of the Pigeon for the Barony of Eding, Bard, Ladies Man, Baronial Bodyguard
Velandro - Ardent Priest of Akana, proselytizer to kobolds.

Skyforge had seized control the duchy, banning all travel by non-dwarves. No one had heard of Norm Dingleberry.  Martial law had been declared.

With no hope of saving the human duchy, and fearing repercussions from Crosdes and Ras-Prythax, they turned around and headed south into Skyforge.

24 HepDec 1071 - On the Road to Skyforge, Duchy of Ruuna, Ras-Prythax Empire
The diplomatic mission continued to face resistance from every dwarven unit they encountered. Luckily, Echelon's credentials originated from Crosedes, less they suffer the same fate as the Duke of Ruuna (covered in diseased goat hair and forcibly stuffed into a small box, the opposite fate that he had imposed on the dwarves.)

Talis was dispatched back to Eding to inform Lady Iris, and thus King Nevin of the situation.  His voice finally changed back from that of a high-pitched kobold back to his chords of vocal silk, but it would be others who would try to negotiate with the Skyforge on behalf of the Emperor of Ras-Prythax, and a plead for peace with Crosedes.

26 HexDec 1071 - Kingdom of Crosedes
It took Talis a good month to travel through the mountains of Skyforge and the gnomish hills of Masgoth to get home, but he succeeded in returning to Crosedes.  He bought the first fast horse he could find, and instead of heading towards the capital to find Lady Iris, he rode back home to the Chateau.  He remembered that she had accepted the role of Baronial Magistrate from Baron Echelon, but she had yet to arrive when the diplomatic mission left for Ruuna. He rode hard, barely stopping, which was fortuitous based on the news that had transpired since he had been last been in Eding.

29 HexDec 1071 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
When Talis arrived home, he first saw the remains of what had been decorations still tacked to the outside of the main house, a strange mixture of blues and whites on top of black.  There was no one inside the main house, so he ventured out to the barns, where a very shocked Felix and Brutus were delighted to see him.  They yelled to Dag the kobold to fetch Carthon.

Carthon's gaze upon the bard was one of disbelief and desperation.  He rushed Talis back into the Chateau itself, and escorted him down into the wine cellar.  The news would require secrecy and a good deal to drink.

After Talis confirmed Echelon's status as alive and well, Carthon shook his head and gave a nervous laugh.

"King Nevin died soon after you five left.  His brother Cervinal has assumed the throne.  You might remember him as the Dread Lord?"

Talis uncorked a second bottle, took a swig, and sat on the ground.

"Cervinal demanded all the nobles pledge allegiance to him.  Apparently, every noble did so, except Echelon, who was nowhere to be found."

"As if things weren't strange enough, King Cervinal *spits* had Echelon and Mellandria declared dead, killed while participating in unlawful diplomacy against King Nevin's wishes. I figured, if he didn't kill us all outright for revenge against his plans, he would at least appoint a new Baron."

"Funny thing, some court officials, knights, and generals, and a cleric of Akana came down from Hydincall and presented some very official looking papers to Lady Iris.  It seemed that the royal paperwork you guys had notarized at the estate of Poipon had a line of succession, or at least the paperwork they had in hand did.  The ink looked barely dry and since Poipon's death all the official papers are drawn right in the King's castle. Anyway, guess who he named Baron?"

Talis shrugged incredulously, "I don't know you?  Baron Felix?  Dag? What, me???"

Carthon closed his eyes and let out a big sigh.

"Timmy."

"WHHHAAAATTTT!!!!!!  The freakin' Dread Lord gave a Barony to a ten-year old boy???  He can't read, can't fight, and he spends more time smelling the farts of Dag's kids... FOR FUN!!!!"

"I know Talis, but I'm amazed it's not as bad as we thought.  Part of the announcement was the King appointing Lady Iris as regent to the Baron until he's fifteen.  "Baron Timoth" and Jenny were moved up to Athelstane's old manor house.  The baronial troops there got evicted and a unit of royal light cavalry made itself at home there, alternating between rumor mongering here and patrols out to the Ruuna border."

"The biggest surprise of all is that they've left us alone ever since.  Timmy and Jenny come by every prayer day for a big meal, with the king's men pacing outside the Chateau.  The rest of us can seem to moved about with harassment... or a tail.  But it's better than being evicted, or killed."

"You can't see Timmy, though.  He thinks you four died in Ruuna and if we let it slip to him that you're alive, the king's agents will find out for sure."

"Wait, Carthon.  What do you mean, by 'you four?'"

"Norm's here, he made it back from Skyforge last week.  Spending time with Babette and the twins in her bungalow.  He's.... changed."

"He stopped speaking with his outrageous accent for once?"

"No, that's not it.  His voice is still as annoying as ever.  The humans in Ruuna caught him... shaved off most of his beard and let him go before the dwarves arrived.  He was a mess when he made it back, but he got into a fight with Dew, and immediately left for the capital.  Mohammad heard the fight and saw him leave.  Dew just seems very distraught every time I brought up Norm's name."

"As if all this wasn't a twenty pound pile of crazy shoved into a five pound sack already, the Dread Lord didn't just let him live, he loves the sonuvabitch! Knighted him on the spot, and he's been awarded the rank of general and a freakin' army to command near Lansluck, just in case the dwarves get frisky!"

"He's General Dingleberry?"

"He prefers Sir Norm, or General Norm."

"Talis, go speak to Norm now.  I'll get some grub for you if I can find Dew. She hasn't been the same since Norm got back.  Those two lovebirds couldn't take their hands off of each other before he left. It was disgusting."

"We need more of that love right now."

DM Notes:  This is what happens when you take too long finishing an adventure with a time limit.  I know, the dwarves in X3: Curse of Xanathon only threatened war, they never would actually act on it. Well boo-hoo on that idea.  Skyforge needs a quick and successful war to keep the clans happy.  Ras-Prythax is weak and will not risk an full-fledged embarrassment of a war with the dwarves over a quite provincial territory. 

Yep, good King Nevin I has died, under unknown causes *Dum dum DUUUUUM*  His brother was next in line, and so far has acted more uneven than crazed or vengeful.  Somehow Cervinal learned that Echelon was the de facto guardian of Timmy before Carthon and Jenny adopted him.  

Norm becoming a Knight?  And a General?  Just chalk that up to his outrageous French accent and a solid presentation.... maybe a little je ne sais quois?

RIP:  His Majesty, King Nevin I of Crosedes.   Long Live the Dread Lord!!!!

14 HexDec 1071 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes *FLASHBACK*
Norm Dingleberry, dwarven warrior and Knight of the Pigeon had come a long way since his days as a failed mushroom farmer.  Great warrior, windship pilot, and slayer of mythical beasts were three titles he had earned in just the last year.

Competent negotiator was not one of them.

He arrived back at the Chateau a beaten dwarf.  After hitching his pony, My Lyl, he went into the kitchen and tried to surprise the love of his life, the plump and voluptuous Dew.  However, she caught him sneaking up on her, had one look at his half-shaven face, and shooed him away with a tear in her eye.   Shaken by the encounter, he ran up the stairs to his room for a change of clothes, some supplies, and decided to run out of the Chateau and head towards Hydincall before encountering anyone else.

Of course, upon leaving his room, Echelon's legless mentor blocked his way down the hallway, muttering a song.

"Rough Seas, High Winds,
                     When I step out I'm gonna do you in..."

"Mohamma-ahd," the dwarf declared.  

"Hello Norman, you are back!  And a mess?"

Norm stroked his hand across a mess of stumble and clumps of full dwarven beard.

"I tried to negotiate ze peace between ze dwarfs and humahns. I never got a chance.  Ze stinkin' humans shaved most of my beard and would have put me on ze rack if not for the dwarves attacking.  Ze dwarves would not even talk to Norm.  Zey sent me back in shame.  Even Dew won't look at her little man.  I am so ashamed."

"Norman, you are a good and loyal friend to everyone here at the Chateau.  You are held in the highest respect with everyone here.  I curse the humans that dishonored you, and the dwarves who did the same. It is not your fault.  Take their shame and convert it to pride you deserve to hold.  Do not let them determine your life, each time you stand upon a hill, act as the king of everything you see.  You are above such trifling things as beards and human ignorance.  Rule the day, each and every one of them."

Norm nodded at the crippled cleric, turned back into his room, and shoved one item into his pocket before dashing down the stairs and out the door unnoticed.

A straight razor.

Next: #42 - Brothers in Arms

(Painting) Rust Monster Away!

Even with the ice and cold returning, cancelling all of our plans, a family full of the sniffles reduced my time in the basement. I got lots of paint on lots of figures, but only one is sufficient enough to say finished. 

A lone Rust Monster, or should I say Oxidation Beast from Reaper Bones.

Oxidation Beast (77032)

This was the one of the last Reaper Bones that my local FLGS had from a restock from over a year ago.  No reason why they never reordered, but the space is taken up with the Pathfinder blind boxes and some of the Nolzur's D&D two-packs that don't seem to sell.  I did manage to find some Armory White Primer (!) and a weird shade of Vallejo green to round out my purchase, but I'm afraid there's nothing left for me to impulse buy at the store.  The FLGS is one of the topics on my Project 350, so I hope to get that done this week... as well as more minis. 

My current queue is a beautiful mess with OGRE minis in various shades, all my Gamecraft Miniatures buildings built and primed, plus a wild assortment of Pulp stuff. 

(Kickstarter) Triplanetary by Steve Jackson Games

Steve Jackson Games has launched a Kickstarter to release the classic space combat game Triplanetary.

For $45, backers can get a copy of the game with FREE SHIPPING to the US.

Sorry, no International options for the Kickstarter, although pre-order options will be set up through Warehouse 23.

Project 350 for the Winter

As much as I love gaming and blogging about gaming, my semi-secret hobby is watching everything unfold behind the scenes using the Blogger user options.

Outside of trying to figure out why two guys in Macedonia are obsessed with Kickstarters about halflings that I've mentioned over the years, most of my time is spent on the various posts I have "behind the scenes."

Counting up my posts, I've published over 2300 posts over the last eight years, but it's the hidden ones that drive me crazy:

My obsession

I have 81 posts scheduled to published anytime between tomorrow morning and my 20th wedding anniversary in October, 2026.  Some are the future Tuesday posts for Ballad of the Pigeon God. Most are gaming related holiday posts.  I nearly have a decade of Christmas, Easter, April Fools, and Jul posts and pictures ready to go.  If I need to add a heartfelt well-wishes to my readers, I can add them when I feel the muse, otherwise it's one less day I need to think of or find material.

The Draft category is a different story.  Sure, I've shoved some long-term projects in here, and have sorted them out by 500 years in the future.  Since they're Drafts they'll never actually post (even if most of them are awesome), but I can separate those from my wants lists, RPG actual plays I need to finish writing, and the 250+ blog posts from other people that I've stowed away.  

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, and there have been so many cool AARs, painting guides, and ideas that I have what seems to be a never-ending list of them.  And despite my best intentions of spreading them out evenly, real life hates my hobby, so like a backlogged to-do list, I keep moving them further and further out into the future, which overlaps even more ideas.  

So, in a pledge to work things down little by little, I will selfishly announce Project 350.  By the end of February, I want to get my combined Drafts and Scheduled posts back down to below 350.  

Full disclosure, I have twelve scheduled posts (including this one at the time of the above screen shot) scheduled to post through the 28th of February.  I have 72 Drafts cluttering the next six weeks, and with Cold Wars coming up, my March posts will go untouched. 

Between the Reviews, the pending Pulp game, gnomes, OGREs, and mouslings, I should be able to whittle away at this backlog, but dedicated readers know some things I've now talked about for months.  

I have faith, because, I've done it before. 

I just pray that none of you have totally radical posts I want to emulate in my own little world over the next month and a half.

I am soooo doomed.