Thursday, October 31, 2019
Wednesday, October 30, 2019
(Risus) The Quest for Pumpkin Spice
Our Monday night 5e online game had a good run going. The DM, Jeff, had made a triumphant return and our dimension-hopping heroes were no longer going to become the chew toys of a race of cat-people.
But I fear that Jeff's been forced to work 2nd shift at his job for an undisclosed amount of time, and with about 8 hours before our session, on a busy Monday at work, I got hit with the "Maybe Eric can run something in my place."
So in the last minutes of my workday, I snuck onto drivethrurpg and downloaded "Brewhaha," a free Savage World one-sheet for East Texas University. It's been almost a year since the last Illuminati University game took place, the infamous "Vesperado"
I'm sure a game involving cursed beer, mircobreweries, and curses would work well with Huggy Bear, the baddest damn Care Bear around, Keith Stone, spokesman for Keystone Light, and Pepe the King Prawn from the Muppets, but as we collaboratively set up the scene for the scenario, a discussion came up about Halloween, Fall, Leaf Season, and banning Pumpkin Spice on IOU campus due to a mix-up with House Atreides.
A quick reference to the Spice Girls was made, and I made a quick threat that if any characters died, I would give them Spice Girls as replacements.
Steve quickly chimed in, "I think we should be playing the Spice Girls, now!"
So we did.
In my even more dystopian mid-2000s, the Spice Girls squandered all their earnings, married no soccer players, and were broken up and scattered around the world. Sporty Spice (Mel C) and Post Spice still kept up a futile attempt to keep some semblance of the group together, but their Aussie recruit Mel Ba had dropped out, and the only other qualified candidate was a husky Canadian woman who went by Turmeric.
But there were rumors that a new up and comer was appearing on the scene.... Pumpkin Spice. Back then, even rumors of her existence were made in hushed tones, but it was up to Posh, Sporty.... and Turmeric to find her.
The basic plot devices of Brewhaha were still used, although things were transplanted into an English pub. The playing card draws via Roll20 for the effects of the cursed beer couldn't be perfect. One got the result that a thick fog envelopes the town, and a terrifying scarecrow hunts them down. The scarecrow, with a jack-o-lantern head and huge scythe, emerged in front to the pub's main window, just as the other two Spice Girls had their effect take place: uncontrollable projectile vomiting. Windows shattered, an R-rating for the gross-out content was updated to the scenario, and scary(?) scarecrow emitted a very Valley-girl
"So.... grody...."
Great conversation was made, things were reconciled, and the quartet split before they were charged for the broken window (nobody remembered who they were anyway).
Like, who cared, because it was, like, time for a SHOPPING MONTAGE!
The girls gave Pumpkin Spice a makeover that included ditching the flannel for a comfy sweater, some very comfy pants to hold in her scarecrow innards, and a fashionable pair of boots that Mel Ba had left when went back to Australia.
There may have also been a battle scene with a singer whose frozen concoction brought all the neighborhood men out to fight the Spice Girls, but perhaps I was mistaken.
When our 5e game is cancelled, I have three go-to replacements:
But I fear that Jeff's been forced to work 2nd shift at his job for an undisclosed amount of time, and with about 8 hours before our session, on a busy Monday at work, I got hit with the "Maybe Eric can run something in my place."
So in the last minutes of my workday, I snuck onto drivethrurpg and downloaded "Brewhaha," a free Savage World one-sheet for East Texas University. It's been almost a year since the last Illuminati University game took place, the infamous "Vesperado"
I'm sure a game involving cursed beer, mircobreweries, and curses would work well with Huggy Bear, the baddest damn Care Bear around, Keith Stone, spokesman for Keystone Light, and Pepe the King Prawn from the Muppets, but as we collaboratively set up the scene for the scenario, a discussion came up about Halloween, Fall, Leaf Season, and banning Pumpkin Spice on IOU campus due to a mix-up with House Atreides.
A quick reference to the Spice Girls was made, and I made a quick threat that if any characters died, I would give them Spice Girls as replacements.
Steve quickly chimed in, "I think we should be playing the Spice Girls, now!"
So we did.
In my even more dystopian mid-2000s, the Spice Girls squandered all their earnings, married no soccer players, and were broken up and scattered around the world. Sporty Spice (Mel C) and Post Spice still kept up a futile attempt to keep some semblance of the group together, but their Aussie recruit Mel Ba had dropped out, and the only other qualified candidate was a husky Canadian woman who went by Turmeric.
But there were rumors that a new up and comer was appearing on the scene.... Pumpkin Spice. Back then, even rumors of her existence were made in hushed tones, but it was up to Posh, Sporty.... and Turmeric to find her.
The basic plot devices of Brewhaha were still used, although things were transplanted into an English pub. The playing card draws via Roll20 for the effects of the cursed beer couldn't be perfect. One got the result that a thick fog envelopes the town, and a terrifying scarecrow hunts them down. The scarecrow, with a jack-o-lantern head and huge scythe, emerged in front to the pub's main window, just as the other two Spice Girls had their effect take place: uncontrollable projectile vomiting. Windows shattered, an R-rating for the gross-out content was updated to the scenario, and scary(?) scarecrow emitted a very Valley-girl
"So.... grody...."
Great conversation was made, things were reconciled, and the quartet split before they were charged for the broken window (nobody remembered who they were anyway).
Like, who cared, because it was, like, time for a SHOPPING MONTAGE!
The girls gave Pumpkin Spice a makeover that included ditching the flannel for a comfy sweater, some very comfy pants to hold in her scarecrow innards, and a fashionable pair of boots that Mel Ba had left when went back to Australia.
There may have also been a battle scene with a singer whose frozen concoction brought all the neighborhood men out to fight the Spice Girls, but perhaps I was mistaken.
When our 5e game is cancelled, I have three go-to replacements:
- Adventures in Gulluvia: BECMI D&D that's gotten a dozen and half sessions in, and one character possibly at 3rd level. It's schlockey collaborative fun.
- Illuminati University (IOU) using Risus. Great cross-genre gonzo fun in a college setting.
- Cthulhu 90's: Canadian College Cthulhu, or "Curse of Nevoz" to me. Some horror, some X-Files conspiracy, and a fun parody of Canadian life in the 90's. Still annoyed Canada does not have Funyuns.
And now, after this whimsical journey, I'm strongly pondering writing up "full-blown" Risus stats for the Spice Girls and set-up a secret-agent/Charlie's Angels game. I let the players make up their own characters and I haven't looked at the cliches yet, although I know one may have involved the word "juicy" in it. The current characters can try and reunite with the other estranged Spice Girls, and possibly have a secretive patron....
We'll call him.... Old Spice.
This is the Halloween gift that keeps on giving.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
Lost Dispatches of Feraso #50 - Eldserth Greyhawk and the Order of Merit
The Twenty-Second day of DuoDec, in the Year 1027
The Town of Feldkurton, Dominion of Greyhawk, Viscounty of Verbobonc
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
It is day seven of the same blizzard that no doubt affects Verbobonc City. Many townsfolk have sought the safety of the manor and other government buildings, those who remain out in these conditions are no doubt tending to their livestock. We gave up searching for stranded travelers on day three.
But one day, the sun shall emerge from behind the clouds, the world will thaw, and the snow will melt. And one day, the backlog of correspondence I've cleared up during this imprisonment will be sent out to the four corners of Ras-Prythax and beyond, so it may come as no surprise that I have include My Lordship with those letters.
I had just received a letter from Alwin Warmark mere days before the blizzard. He is still the Freigraff of the Totenlinden of Amberstoll, or, in more common terms, a judge or magistrate. He is, by all accounts, the second most powerful man in Amberstoll, just below Baron Remo himself. He does not miss the adventuring lifestyle, having retained none of the trophies of that time, and instead relishes the scholarly pursuits of the law.
Alwin Warmark - 4th level Priest of Akana
S: 14 I: 10 W: 13 D: 12 Con: 15 Cha: 13
HP: 21 AC: 9 (Chain Mail sold off years ago).
XP Earned: 10,343
Read/Write: Trade Prythax, Religion, Spellcraft, Local History: Weissmach, Law.
One I have not heard of in many years is the fiery barbarian woman, Morya Silverbough. I reckon that she is still terrorizing ne'er do wells somewhere between Nevskia and Wyrmnal
Morya Silverbough - 3rd Level Barbarian (1e UA)
S: 16 I: 14 W: 10 D: 15 Con: 16 Cha: 13
HP: 36 AC: 4 (Chain Mail)
XP Earned: 22,558
Att: 3/2 Damage 1d8+4 (Battle Axe +2)
Blindfighting, Weather Sense, Gaming, Survival
Murag Mountainhammer is still a resident of the Dominion of Greyhawk, and an active member of the Order of Merit. He has not settled down, although he is currently barricaded in his house in the hills, with enough firewood, ale, and whiskey to last him through the winter, or in his particular case, we may send out a search team to check on him first.
Murag Mountainhammer - 6th Level Dwarf Fighter
S: 16 I: 12 W: 11 D: 12 Con: 16 Cha: 10
HP: 47 AC: 2 (Dwarven Plate Mail +2, Ring of Protection +2)
XP Earned: 45,217
Att: 3/2 Damage 1d8+3 (Battle Axe +1)
Mining, Stonemasonary, Mountaineering, Weaponsmithing
My good friend Andrei Krasimir is still a wizard of some skill and is looking for the classic tower to continue their studies. I heartily recommend My Lord bestows some tower appropriate to his ability, to maintain his residence full-time in Ras-Prythax. He is discussing traveling to Hermetus to explore wizardly properties.
Andrei Krasimir - 9th Level Magic-User
S: 10 I: 10 W: 16 D: 12 Con: 17 Cha: 8
HP: 44 AC: 2 (Bracer of Defense AC 5, Ring of Protection +3)
XP Earned: 135,950
Att: 1 Damage 1d4+3 (Dagger +3)
Language: Purmove, Language: Trade Prythax, Ettiquette, Riding Land-Based, Astrology, Spellcraft
Wand of Paralyzation, Wand of Lightning, Wand of Magic Missle, Wand of Wonder, and a ridiculous spell book full of more spells than he could possibly learn.
And finally, I, Sir Elsderth Greyhawk, despite being trapped in a crowded manor, am in good spirits, largely due to the birth of my second, a daughter named Eleanore. Both mother and baby are doing well, given the circumstances.
Sir Elsderth (Millbottom) Greyhawk, Lord of Greyhawk, 6th Level Fighter
S: 9 I: 17 W: 11 D: 13 Con: 12, Cha: 9
HP: 43 AC: 4 (Chain Mail and Shield)
Racist (Elf), Prematurely Gray.
XP Earned: 85,257
Att: 2/1 Damage 1d8+2 ("Betrayer" Longsword +1)
Read/Write Trade Prythax, Arcane Lore, Botany, Riding Land, Etiquette, Agriculture
Stone of Earth Elemental Summoning
Next: #51 - The Tower of EnerkThe Town of Feldkurton, Dominion of Greyhawk, Viscounty of Verbobonc
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
It is day seven of the same blizzard that no doubt affects Verbobonc City. Many townsfolk have sought the safety of the manor and other government buildings, those who remain out in these conditions are no doubt tending to their livestock. We gave up searching for stranded travelers on day three.
But one day, the sun shall emerge from behind the clouds, the world will thaw, and the snow will melt. And one day, the backlog of correspondence I've cleared up during this imprisonment will be sent out to the four corners of Ras-Prythax and beyond, so it may come as no surprise that I have include My Lordship with those letters.
I had just received a letter from Alwin Warmark mere days before the blizzard. He is still the Freigraff of the Totenlinden of Amberstoll, or, in more common terms, a judge or magistrate. He is, by all accounts, the second most powerful man in Amberstoll, just below Baron Remo himself. He does not miss the adventuring lifestyle, having retained none of the trophies of that time, and instead relishes the scholarly pursuits of the law.
S: 14 I: 10 W: 13 D: 12 Con: 15 Cha: 13
HP: 21 AC: 9 (Chain Mail sold off years ago).
XP Earned: 10,343
Read/Write: Trade Prythax, Religion, Spellcraft, Local History: Weissmach, Law.
One I have not heard of in many years is the fiery barbarian woman, Morya Silverbough. I reckon that she is still terrorizing ne'er do wells somewhere between Nevskia and Wyrmnal
S: 16 I: 14 W: 10 D: 15 Con: 16 Cha: 13
HP: 36 AC: 4 (Chain Mail)
XP Earned: 22,558
Att: 3/2 Damage 1d8+4 (Battle Axe +2)
Blindfighting, Weather Sense, Gaming, Survival
Murag Mountainhammer is still a resident of the Dominion of Greyhawk, and an active member of the Order of Merit. He has not settled down, although he is currently barricaded in his house in the hills, with enough firewood, ale, and whiskey to last him through the winter, or in his particular case, we may send out a search team to check on him first.
Murag Mountainhammer - 6th Level Dwarf Fighter
S: 16 I: 12 W: 11 D: 12 Con: 16 Cha: 10
HP: 47 AC: 2 (Dwarven Plate Mail +2, Ring of Protection +2)
XP Earned: 45,217
Att: 3/2 Damage 1d8+3 (Battle Axe +1)
Mining, Stonemasonary, Mountaineering, Weaponsmithing
My good friend Andrei Krasimir is still a wizard of some skill and is looking for the classic tower to continue their studies. I heartily recommend My Lord bestows some tower appropriate to his ability, to maintain his residence full-time in Ras-Prythax. He is discussing traveling to Hermetus to explore wizardly properties.
Andrei Krasimir - 9th Level Magic-User
S: 10 I: 10 W: 16 D: 12 Con: 17 Cha: 8
HP: 44 AC: 2 (Bracer of Defense AC 5, Ring of Protection +3)
XP Earned: 135,950
Att: 1 Damage 1d4+3 (Dagger +3)
Language: Purmove, Language: Trade Prythax, Ettiquette, Riding Land-Based, Astrology, Spellcraft
Wand of Paralyzation, Wand of Lightning, Wand of Magic Missle, Wand of Wonder, and a ridiculous spell book full of more spells than he could possibly learn.
And finally, I, Sir Elsderth Greyhawk, despite being trapped in a crowded manor, am in good spirits, largely due to the birth of my second, a daughter named Eleanore. Both mother and baby are doing well, given the circumstances.
S: 9 I: 17 W: 11 D: 13 Con: 12, Cha: 9
HP: 43 AC: 4 (Chain Mail and Shield)
Racist (Elf), Prematurely Gray.
XP Earned: 85,257
Att: 2/1 Damage 1d8+2 ("Betrayer" Longsword +1)
Read/Write Trade Prythax, Arcane Lore, Botany, Riding Land, Etiquette, Agriculture
Stone of Earth Elemental Summoning
Monday, October 28, 2019
I Survived October, and I Even Got a Little Gaming in.
Rant and Rave Time, folks. I'll promise to do better next post.
Two weeks into the busiest time of the year for me at work. My department has about half the work staff hours I'd like to have, we have lots of questionable decisions being made above my pay grade, and only half of our programs are responding accordingly.
About the same as every year, but how can I make this a "hold my beer" moment.
Take on the responsibilities of coach recruitment, practice and game scheduling, and conducting drafts for four divisions of players in the community rec league.
Plus hockey season's in full swing. I'm finding myself falling asleep at games that are otherwise pretty exciting.
I had my moment for some Sunday gaming, but I blew it with housework, cleaning up some light water in the basement, and taking the kids into the office for a couple of hours. Still, with late nights and cryptic emails, we've managed to get a little bit of gaming in this month. And better yet, as of Sunday night, there's actual paint on figures!
Basketball: Let this be my evidence if I snap, after volunteering all this time, I absolutely hate parents... as parents and as coaches. At this point, I've easily put in double the time a coach will spend with their team with games and practices over this 10-13 week season. Too many egos for their kids and and their teams. Funny thing is, I keep mentioning that even the good kids that make it to high school have a long and storied history of riding the bench for a local Division III college team that Mommy and Daddy paid tuition for out of pocket. It's that type of situation.
And admit to being somewhat hypocritical: using my executive privilege as a board member and main scheduler, I got myself a primo schedule for Millie's team... especially since I'm coaching it (God help these children), as well as flexibility with the game schedule since the girls Fall Basketball playoffs land on the same Saturday as opening day for Winter ball. It was complete luck that I drew the #1 pick of the draft and the best lottery pick out of the girls who didn't show up to tryouts. Once Thanksgiving rolls around, life might calm down at the ViscountEric household, although I doubt it.
Kickstarter: I had some second thoughts and pulled out of the Golden Goblin Holiday Collection. I did stay on for the Pulp Figures Dangerous Dames that just completed, and I'm still stuck at $1 trying to make a few early decisions for Reaper Bones V.
Legions of Steel Playtest: While there are a number of things I'm disappointed I couldn't get in this month, not playtesting for Legions of Steel is the top. The rules haven't changed (much), but I want to break out the old tiles and try the playtest rules with Maja.
No to Mepacon, Probably to Fall-In!: Despite Mepacon begin right in my backyard, my staffing levels are good enough to take extra time at work off. With scrimmages taking up the middle of my day, and hockey tickets that night, I'm scratching another one off my list.
Fall-In! is a bye week for basketball, so I can still get Maja to Friday night practice and possibly do a day trip. To be honest, my shopping list is a bit light this year, some Post-Apoc figures from Brigade, some old Grenadier Dragonmen from Badger, and maybe a copy of Last Days: Seasons if it's available. Cold Wars will be the big con for me next year.
Painting: Sci-Fi is in the very messy queue. Might even get some time to do some assembly line work with the girls.
Celebrity Sighting at the FLGS: This one punched me in the gut on Sunday. I'd like to make it a proper fanboy moment, but I skipped Twitter the last two weeks, and upon my return, I discovered that one of my favorite RPG authors has moved into the area, and in those two weeks, has been running one-shot after one-shot at the local store. May need to stake the place out this week, and see what happens. More details to follow.
Two weeks into the busiest time of the year for me at work. My department has about half the work staff hours I'd like to have, we have lots of questionable decisions being made above my pay grade, and only half of our programs are responding accordingly.
About the same as every year, but how can I make this a "hold my beer" moment.
Take on the responsibilities of coach recruitment, practice and game scheduling, and conducting drafts for four divisions of players in the community rec league.
Plus hockey season's in full swing. I'm finding myself falling asleep at games that are otherwise pretty exciting.
I had my moment for some Sunday gaming, but I blew it with housework, cleaning up some light water in the basement, and taking the kids into the office for a couple of hours. Still, with late nights and cryptic emails, we've managed to get a little bit of gaming in this month. And better yet, as of Sunday night, there's actual paint on figures!
Basketball: Let this be my evidence if I snap, after volunteering all this time, I absolutely hate parents... as parents and as coaches. At this point, I've easily put in double the time a coach will spend with their team with games and practices over this 10-13 week season. Too many egos for their kids and and their teams. Funny thing is, I keep mentioning that even the good kids that make it to high school have a long and storied history of riding the bench for a local Division III college team that Mommy and Daddy paid tuition for out of pocket. It's that type of situation.
And admit to being somewhat hypocritical: using my executive privilege as a board member and main scheduler, I got myself a primo schedule for Millie's team... especially since I'm coaching it (God help these children), as well as flexibility with the game schedule since the girls Fall Basketball playoffs land on the same Saturday as opening day for Winter ball. It was complete luck that I drew the #1 pick of the draft and the best lottery pick out of the girls who didn't show up to tryouts. Once Thanksgiving rolls around, life might calm down at the ViscountEric household, although I doubt it.
Kickstarter: I had some second thoughts and pulled out of the Golden Goblin Holiday Collection. I did stay on for the Pulp Figures Dangerous Dames that just completed, and I'm still stuck at $1 trying to make a few early decisions for Reaper Bones V.
Legions of Steel Playtest: While there are a number of things I'm disappointed I couldn't get in this month, not playtesting for Legions of Steel is the top. The rules haven't changed (much), but I want to break out the old tiles and try the playtest rules with Maja.
 |
| Not my figures, but I simply love the staging. |
Fall-In! is a bye week for basketball, so I can still get Maja to Friday night practice and possibly do a day trip. To be honest, my shopping list is a bit light this year, some Post-Apoc figures from Brigade, some old Grenadier Dragonmen from Badger, and maybe a copy of Last Days: Seasons if it's available. Cold Wars will be the big con for me next year.
Painting: Sci-Fi is in the very messy queue. Might even get some time to do some assembly line work with the girls.
Celebrity Sighting at the FLGS: This one punched me in the gut on Sunday. I'd like to make it a proper fanboy moment, but I skipped Twitter the last two weeks, and upon my return, I discovered that one of my favorite RPG authors has moved into the area, and in those two weeks, has been running one-shot after one-shot at the local store. May need to stake the place out this week, and see what happens. More details to follow.
Saturday, October 26, 2019
Viscount and the Temptation of Pizza Dungeon
It seems like just yesterday, Reaper Bones V: Escape from Pizza Dungeon had been launched, but now were less than a week away from it closing. Between work and youth basketball craziness, I haven't been paying much attention. However, with Reaper opening up the core set to an a la carte approach, it's a good time to see what cool stuff I could take onto my pledge.
Kid Heroes $16: Reapers answer to WizKids Wardlings? For $16, I might try them out.
Townsfolk $20: Twenty figs for twenty bucks? They're pretty static, but they'd work well in a pulp fantasy game with objectives and innocent bystanders.
Mouslings $10: No brainer here. Just one question: How many sets do I get?
Yokai of Okura $12: No real reason for Asian anthropomorphs, but they would be fun to paint up.
Arakoth $10: My Martian spiders I painted up years ago might need a mother....
Encounter: The Bridge Troll's Toll $18: I really don't need another stone bridge, but this one is such a nice vignette I might not be able to resist.
Petey D $2: Never going to use him, but Petey D needs to be in my collection.
Kid Heroes $16: Reapers answer to WizKids Wardlings? For $16, I might try them out.
Mouslings $10: No brainer here. Just one question: How many sets do I get?
Yokai of Okura $12: No real reason for Asian anthropomorphs, but they would be fun to paint up.
Arakoth $10: My Martian spiders I painted up years ago might need a mother....
Petey D $2: Never going to use him, but Petey D needs to be in my collection.
Friday, October 25, 2019
The Mike Lung Gallery #66 - Teddy Bears, Occulites, and Corn
A custom teddy bear "Mohaircan" riding a wolf.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Lost Dispatches of Feraso #49 - Vanished!
The Twenty-Second day of OctDec, in the Year 1026
The Town of Feldkurton, Dominion of Greyhawk, Viscounty of Verbobonc
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
It has been an endeavour, but we have safely arrived back in Feldkurton!
For the third year in a row, the "Order of Merit" left the confines of governing Greyhawk and visited acting Totenlinden of Amberstoll in the Weissmach, Alwin Warmark, before journeying south to holiday on the Almond Coast. My dear wife of two years, Felecia Bächi does not suspect that my "Special Diplomatic Mission" is indeed an escape full of old friends and revelry. With the birth of our first son, Matthias, I expected a more discernful eye, but she was just as joyous to see us go as she was when we returned. Perhaps it was the near gleeful opportunity to declare herself pregnant four months with our second child!
The Town of Feldkurton, Dominion of Greyhawk, Viscounty of Verbobonc
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
It has been an endeavour, but we have safely arrived back in Feldkurton!
For the third year in a row, the "Order of Merit" left the confines of governing Greyhawk and visited acting Totenlinden of Amberstoll in the Weissmach, Alwin Warmark, before journeying south to holiday on the Almond Coast. My dear wife of two years, Felecia Bächi does not suspect that my "Special Diplomatic Mission" is indeed an escape full of old friends and revelry. With the birth of our first son, Matthias, I expected a more discernful eye, but she was just as joyous to see us go as she was when we returned. Perhaps it was the near gleeful opportunity to declare herself pregnant four months with our second child!
Perhaps I should start looking for a small lodge closer to Greyhawk.
While it is nothing like our adventures of yore, Murag Mountainhammer the Dwarf, and my friend Andrei Krasimir still take the journey with me.
While it is nothing like our adventures of yore, Murag Mountainhammer the Dwarf, and my friend Andrei Krasimir still take the journey with me.
As I sit back home at my desk, I must express some concern that the bulk of my time in the beautiful Almond Coast was not focused on the beach... or the halfling cuisine, but rather the fact for the third year in a row, I have not heard of word uttered about Talanth Blackash and his compatriots.
For as much as we figured to be two steps behind their travels, I'm shocked that a few cheap drinks with ever cheaper coins does not rattle some peasant's brain of some elven misdeed.
It appears as if they all vanished after "investigating" the Hill Giant Chief.... or perhaps the Ithillids of Needlepsire, I can't recall clearly.
Still, there's a part of me that wishes the elf finally got his comuppence in some less-than-savory country.
Fall taxes will be delivered on time. The harvest seems to be another success.
Yours in Service,
DM Notes: The Steading of the Hill Giant Chieftain was the last adventure I ran for my high school group. Talanth, the Drunken Warrior, the Stupid Ranger, and the Busty Mage never made an appearance in any future games.
But perhaps the sedentary family lifestyle of a minor noble in the great country on Georic isn't in the blood of the former scribe, even with a second child on the way.
This letter was the only way to use the cover of Dragon #136, the first issue of Dragon I ever purchased. I always thought about ways to set it up, but my high school self was preoccupied with xp than crafting an intricate plot line.
NEXT: #50 The Order of Merit, Revisted.
 |
| A former scribe can dream, can't he? |
Yours in Service,
Sir Elsderth Greyhawk, Lord of Greyhawk
Freigraff of the Totenlinden of Amberstoll.
DM Notes: The Steading of the Hill Giant Chieftain was the last adventure I ran for my high school group. Talanth, the Drunken Warrior, the Stupid Ranger, and the Busty Mage never made an appearance in any future games.
But perhaps the sedentary family lifestyle of a minor noble in the great country on Georic isn't in the blood of the former scribe, even with a second child on the way.
This letter was the only way to use the cover of Dragon #136, the first issue of Dragon I ever purchased. I always thought about ways to set it up, but my high school self was preoccupied with xp than crafting an intricate plot line.
NEXT: #50 The Order of Merit, Revisted.
Monday, October 21, 2019
Oh No, They Got Yahoo! Groups Too???
First Google Plus came crashing down. Now, another quiet announcement marks the end of a long term internet staple.
Yahoo! Groups, a lifeblood still many smaller communities for two decades, will be shuttering operations for good before the end of the new year.
You just have till the end of today to put your last mark on your favorite group, but it won't last long, because the plug gets pulled on December 14th.
Truth be told, I just accessed my yahoo mail for the first time in forever this past weekend, and if they purged my emails due to the length of inactivity, I probably haven't longed in in a year or three....
I mean, the last gaming traffic on the ERPGA (Easton Role-Playing Game Association) group was the death of Gary Gygax and the fact that "Crazy Darryl" was probably going to get himself killed touring Moldolva. All of this was before my children were born.
Farewell Yahoo! Groups. You served us well.
Yahoo! Groups, a lifeblood still many smaller communities for two decades, will be shuttering operations for good before the end of the new year.
You just have till the end of today to put your last mark on your favorite group, but it won't last long, because the plug gets pulled on December 14th.
Truth be told, I just accessed my yahoo mail for the first time in forever this past weekend, and if they purged my emails due to the length of inactivity, I probably haven't longed in in a year or three....
I mean, the last gaming traffic on the ERPGA (Easton Role-Playing Game Association) group was the death of Gary Gygax and the fact that "Crazy Darryl" was probably going to get himself killed touring Moldolva. All of this was before my children were born.
Farewell Yahoo! Groups. You served us well.
Sunday, October 20, 2019
Saturday, October 19, 2019
Disco Stu Don't Advertise
The true busy season has hit us at work. Only me and my dancing gnome may survive the month.
Friday, October 18, 2019
Thursday, October 17, 2019
(Kickstarter) Resin Urbranmech by Outer Planet Models
After a week pondering terrain for a 28mm modern zombie games, this transfers my thoughts to 28mm city scapes.
For the Battletech player who has everything, let's move to 28mm scale, with a few appropriate scale 28mm Resin Urbanmechs by Outer Planet Models.
$60+ shipping doesn't sound like a bad price....
For the Battletech player who has everything, let's move to 28mm scale, with a few appropriate scale 28mm Resin Urbanmechs by Outer Planet Models.
$60+ shipping doesn't sound like a bad price....
Wednesday, October 16, 2019
Pulp Alley Character Cards for the Dangerous Dames Kickstarter
With just a few days left in the Pulp Figures Dangerous Dames Kickstarter, a few friends of Bob Murch have created an accessory for the figures.
Pulp Alley has placed a pre-order for a Dangerous Dames deck with all the characters statted out in the Pulp Alley 2nd Edition rules.
The card set goes $12.95.
Pulp Alley has placed a pre-order for a Dangerous Dames deck with all the characters statted out in the Pulp Alley 2nd Edition rules.
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| Sample cards |
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Lost Dispatches of Feraso #48 - Against the Giants
The First Day of the Festival of Yule, in the Imperial Year of 1023
The Village of Asimenio, Province of Akro, The Republic of Danaan
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
After enjoying the hospitality of Danaan for quite some time, we were encountered by leaders within the Republic.
Ploutis Kadis, a well-respected member of the Boule, and a member of the Presidium, the administrative arm that guides the government from within the Boule, had discovered our previous run-ins with the elf Talanth Blackash and his associates, and offered us yet another job to clean up after them.
At some point quite recently, the elf and his companions were hired to a remove a rather active community of Hill Giants who were known to terrorize local caravans and farmsteads. The party had taken the usual payment up front, stocked up on supplies, and the five of them journeyed up to the village of Algyros, the close safe "home base" for their operations. There has been no sight or sound of the party, but travelers have reported very aggressive Hill Giant activity throughout the low mountains.
I immediately accepted the terms, adding that we would do the job for the regular fee, but we didn't want half up front to cloud our judgement, should things turn for the worse.
Staying on foot to avoid suspicion, we encountered our first group of giants, bugbears, and ogres ten miles before arriving near Algyros. They were quite agitated, searching for something... more so probably some one.
Once arriving in Algyros we got a larger chunk of the story. Blackash and Company did arrive, messed up with numerous projects in town, and headed off to Steading. No one had seen them since, although one of the horses did arrive back in town, scarred, but certainly missing any humans.
We carefully followed the edge of the trails heading to the homestead. We managed to waylay a few individuals without raising an alarm. Translation was poor at best, but it appears that Blackash thought a direct assault was a good option and the giants and their hirelings trounced them, scattering the "heroes" to the four winds. Now, the Hill Giant Chieftain Evar, was torn between adding to his legend, or the heroes getting reinforcements, so he ordered an all-out manhunt against Talanth.
Not prepared to take on dozens of giants, we found a high spot and staked out a position.
Knowing the size of a floating cloud giant island, I was still amazed by the homestead. Evar owned the largest wooden building in all of Danaan, possibly rivaling the current column-lined stone structures back at Afiny.
Guards were everywhere around the complex. Giants, bugbears, orcs, and a few hobgoblins took part in patrolling the area, with other groups actively searching for their recent attackers.
No one in our group suggested sneaking into a massive viking lodge surrounded by an veritable army.
We stayed long enough to ascertain the situation and confirm some of our intelligence. The fresh scorch marks coming out of certain windows and the front door basically confirms that Thendara Wandsregal, "The Busty Mage" used her modus operandi when engaging powerful foes. Not to say it wasn't somewhat successful, as we also witnessed the construction of a huge funeral pyre for multiple inhabitants who were recently killed, but the huge response of the giants, and the lack of the party means that things did not go as planned.
We chose discretion against berserking valor with this group, so we tried to quietly leave.
Prior to returning to Algyros, we did encounter one Hill Giant search party returning to the Steading. I'm not sure how we didn't see two giants wandering through the wooded hills. The ogre, it's cave bear, and four bugbears, I understand, but we were terrified and oblivious at the moment.
By luck, Andrei let off a fireball behind the search party, wounding all and killing off a single bugbear, before we engaged.
Giants are rumored to be as powerful as they are tall. I'm happy we didn't need to engage the Cloud Giants, as we could barely handle two Hill Giants. The search party was smart enough to identify and keep our spellcasters (Andrei and Brother Eligius) entertained while the giants and ogre smashed us to bits.
I'm not sure how we defeated them, In hindsight, I believe we were more talented, avoiding their brute strength. I also believe we were incredibly luck.
I'm incredibly grateful to Akana that Andrei survived (and more importantly defeated) a 10 foot tall primordial bear. Once he dispatched the beast, he was able to help kill the bugbear engaged with Brother Eligius, and we got the spell support that allowed us to prevent the giants from fleeing and calling for reinforcements.
Alas, we did lose one essential member of the Order of Merit. Simon Balasz, our multi-lingual guide, fled once charged by a bugbear. He never completely eluded the bugbear, but tried to backstab and Hill Giant leader of the search party. It was a fair blow, but it directed the giant's entire attention to him. He swung around and caught Simon with the entire length of his club, smashing him into a tree.
I hate to say, I empathize with the evil Wizard Sazor's dilemma after he slew the Cloud Giant wedding party arriving on the island. Hiding the bodies of giants is incredibly difficult! Triple our size, with a body shape more akin to a dwarf, we exhausted ourselves getting them into a shallow gully.
We acted opposite to our mission in Pelister. After binding wounds and whatever magical healing Brother Eligius had left, we wrapped up Simon's body and returned to Algyros. We paid the locals to bury Simon and warned the town elders that the giants were furious and actively searching for humans. More adventurers would incite them further. Organized military action would be much preferred.
While we almost caused a widespread panic, we were shocked to return to Afiny to find total indifference to our report. The aide for Ploutis Kadis simply took our report, thanked us for our service, and handed us the agreed-upon payment.
Preferring to avoid any more conflict, we left the capital and wandered further south. We've arrived at Asimenio, a beautiful seaside village. The weather is perfect, the water is warm, and I surely hope they have enough wine at the inn to last us the winter.
Yours in Service,
Fun fact as I was trying to plot out the letter, Simon the guide was "going to get the mother-lode of magic items" while in the employ of the Order. In fact, the cherry on the top of the his gifts was getting the shortsword the Hill Giant search party leader wore as a bauble on his necklace. The shortsword was the much famed Lofo Fonios, (+1, +4 vs giant-kind). Now it's been sold off to someone in the capital of Afiny, and the Order can have a seaside holiday over the winter.
Danaan would be plagued by Evar for over a hundred years, until the famed Burning Trogs completed the destruction of the steading.
NEXT: #49 ???????
The Village of Asimenio, Province of Akro, The Republic of Danaan
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
After enjoying the hospitality of Danaan for quite some time, we were encountered by leaders within the Republic.
Ploutis Kadis, a well-respected member of the Boule, and a member of the Presidium, the administrative arm that guides the government from within the Boule, had discovered our previous run-ins with the elf Talanth Blackash and his associates, and offered us yet another job to clean up after them.
At some point quite recently, the elf and his companions were hired to a remove a rather active community of Hill Giants who were known to terrorize local caravans and farmsteads. The party had taken the usual payment up front, stocked up on supplies, and the five of them journeyed up to the village of Algyros, the close safe "home base" for their operations. There has been no sight or sound of the party, but travelers have reported very aggressive Hill Giant activity throughout the low mountains.
I immediately accepted the terms, adding that we would do the job for the regular fee, but we didn't want half up front to cloud our judgement, should things turn for the worse.
Staying on foot to avoid suspicion, we encountered our first group of giants, bugbears, and ogres ten miles before arriving near Algyros. They were quite agitated, searching for something... more so probably some one.
Once arriving in Algyros we got a larger chunk of the story. Blackash and Company did arrive, messed up with numerous projects in town, and headed off to Steading. No one had seen them since, although one of the horses did arrive back in town, scarred, but certainly missing any humans.
We carefully followed the edge of the trails heading to the homestead. We managed to waylay a few individuals without raising an alarm. Translation was poor at best, but it appears that Blackash thought a direct assault was a good option and the giants and their hirelings trounced them, scattering the "heroes" to the four winds. Now, the Hill Giant Chieftain Evar, was torn between adding to his legend, or the heroes getting reinforcements, so he ordered an all-out manhunt against Talanth.
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| Talanth Blackash and His Crew fighting the Hill Giant Chief Evar |
Knowing the size of a floating cloud giant island, I was still amazed by the homestead. Evar owned the largest wooden building in all of Danaan, possibly rivaling the current column-lined stone structures back at Afiny.
Guards were everywhere around the complex. Giants, bugbears, orcs, and a few hobgoblins took part in patrolling the area, with other groups actively searching for their recent attackers.
No one in our group suggested sneaking into a massive viking lodge surrounded by an veritable army.
We stayed long enough to ascertain the situation and confirm some of our intelligence. The fresh scorch marks coming out of certain windows and the front door basically confirms that Thendara Wandsregal, "The Busty Mage" used her modus operandi when engaging powerful foes. Not to say it wasn't somewhat successful, as we also witnessed the construction of a huge funeral pyre for multiple inhabitants who were recently killed, but the huge response of the giants, and the lack of the party means that things did not go as planned.
We chose discretion against berserking valor with this group, so we tried to quietly leave.
Prior to returning to Algyros, we did encounter one Hill Giant search party returning to the Steading. I'm not sure how we didn't see two giants wandering through the wooded hills. The ogre, it's cave bear, and four bugbears, I understand, but we were terrified and oblivious at the moment.
By luck, Andrei let off a fireball behind the search party, wounding all and killing off a single bugbear, before we engaged.
Giants are rumored to be as powerful as they are tall. I'm happy we didn't need to engage the Cloud Giants, as we could barely handle two Hill Giants. The search party was smart enough to identify and keep our spellcasters (Andrei and Brother Eligius) entertained while the giants and ogre smashed us to bits.
I'm not sure how we defeated them, In hindsight, I believe we were more talented, avoiding their brute strength. I also believe we were incredibly luck.
I'm incredibly grateful to Akana that Andrei survived (and more importantly defeated) a 10 foot tall primordial bear. Once he dispatched the beast, he was able to help kill the bugbear engaged with Brother Eligius, and we got the spell support that allowed us to prevent the giants from fleeing and calling for reinforcements.
Alas, we did lose one essential member of the Order of Merit. Simon Balasz, our multi-lingual guide, fled once charged by a bugbear. He never completely eluded the bugbear, but tried to backstab and Hill Giant leader of the search party. It was a fair blow, but it directed the giant's entire attention to him. He swung around and caught Simon with the entire length of his club, smashing him into a tree.
I hate to say, I empathize with the evil Wizard Sazor's dilemma after he slew the Cloud Giant wedding party arriving on the island. Hiding the bodies of giants is incredibly difficult! Triple our size, with a body shape more akin to a dwarf, we exhausted ourselves getting them into a shallow gully.
We acted opposite to our mission in Pelister. After binding wounds and whatever magical healing Brother Eligius had left, we wrapped up Simon's body and returned to Algyros. We paid the locals to bury Simon and warned the town elders that the giants were furious and actively searching for humans. More adventurers would incite them further. Organized military action would be much preferred.
While we almost caused a widespread panic, we were shocked to return to Afiny to find total indifference to our report. The aide for Ploutis Kadis simply took our report, thanked us for our service, and handed us the agreed-upon payment.
Preferring to avoid any more conflict, we left the capital and wandered further south. We've arrived at Asimenio, a beautiful seaside village. The weather is perfect, the water is warm, and I surely hope they have enough wine at the inn to last us the winter.
Yours in Service,
Sir Elsderth Greyhawk, Lord of Greyhawk
Sage of the The Order of Merit,
Sage of the The Order of Merit,
Sellsword - Extraordinaire
Wielder of the Legendary Betrayer.
Wielder of the Legendary Betrayer.
Defilier of the Temple of Tiamat.
Slayer of the Wizard Sazor
Freigraff of the Totenlinden of Amberstoll.
DM Notes: G1: The Steading of the Hill Giant Chief, was the very last adventure I ran in high school. After dealing with the mind flayers in Needlespire, to get walloped by the hill giants was a complete 180 degree turn. and effectively derailed the campaign for other projects.
The sole issue? I converted all the monsters to AD&D 2nd Edition stats. Second Edition giants are massively more difficult and that difference nearly got them killed.
For the last few months of high school, we did board games and one shots. They never had enough time to lick their wounds and even think about returning and if they did, we had already graduated and I was off to basic training.
DM Notes: G1: The Steading of the Hill Giant Chief, was the very last adventure I ran in high school. After dealing with the mind flayers in Needlespire, to get walloped by the hill giants was a complete 180 degree turn. and effectively derailed the campaign for other projects.
For the last few months of high school, we did board games and one shots. They never had enough time to lick their wounds and even think about returning and if they did, we had already graduated and I was off to basic training.
Fun fact as I was trying to plot out the letter, Simon the guide was "going to get the mother-lode of magic items" while in the employ of the Order. In fact, the cherry on the top of the his gifts was getting the shortsword the Hill Giant search party leader wore as a bauble on his necklace. The shortsword was the much famed Lofo Fonios, (+1, +4 vs giant-kind). Now it's been sold off to someone in the capital of Afiny, and the Order can have a seaside holiday over the winter.
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| RIP: Simon Balasz |
NEXT: #49 ???????
Monday, October 14, 2019
More Lords of The Playground
13! 13 years of Wedded Bliss! And I'm still the only one will go down random slides...
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| Between my wedding and reception, Ives Run State Park, Tioga, PA |
Sunday, October 13, 2019
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Friday, October 11, 2019
The Mike Lung Gallery #65 - Strange Lemonade
While I may be floundering with my various projects, Friend of the Blog (and Award-Winning GM) Mike Lung has been going down some strange roads... or make that Strange Aeons, a skirmish game of eldritch horror.
Of course, instead of the usual pulp models, Mike's using his own gnome zombies, a few new custom gnome sculpts, and a lot the Lemonade Wars line from Blind Beggar Games.
I've got to admit one thing about Blind Beggar, the Kickstarters are numerous, yet timely, and the miniatures can look a little dumpy in the campaigns, but Mike's paint job wants me to reconsider them (and supporting the lines via links to their Kickstarter).
Of course, instead of the usual pulp models, Mike's using his own gnome zombies, a few new custom gnome sculpts, and a lot the Lemonade Wars line from Blind Beggar Games.
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| The Redcaps, sculpted by Mike. History and rules still in the works. |
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| More of Mike's classic Zombie Gnomes |
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| Lemonade Wars figures from Blind Beggar. |
Thursday, October 10, 2019
Actual Evil and Abuse at a Game Store.
I'd like to say that there's some elaborate social contract in regards to your Friendly Local Game Store, comic shop, hobby shop, or even book store. I would hope that every location is a refuge from reality for folks whose lives might be too real otherwise. I'm also aware that this hope is far easier to attain for white suburban male population, of which I was (and still am) a member off in my formative years.
But I've worked enough years in gaming/comics retail and know the impact a shop can have on the lives
This article, is the exact opposite of everything right...
Subsequent news story flippantly measure the abuse for "only a year" but other news sources report the abuse went on for years. And arrests for a 15-year old crime should require a LOT of corroborating evidence. That requires a confession or witnesses.... which means even more people knew about everything. The idea of others (possibly) standing by while this took place disgusts me.
Adventure Games in on the far side of Scranton, too far to have visited, barring one visit six years ago. In all of the game stores I've visited over thirty years, nothing screamed the type of place were that would happen, but the saddest truth of all, in these lower echelon of game stores, nothing I witnessed would make the arrest shocking, and that's the greatest problem of all.
The announcement of the store trading hands went over on social media prior to the formal arrest, and all but a select few were oblivious to the allegations, the inquiry, and the ensuing arrest.
But I've worked enough years in gaming/comics retail and know the impact a shop can have on the lives
This article, is the exact opposite of everything right...
Subsequent news story flippantly measure the abuse for "only a year" but other news sources report the abuse went on for years. And arrests for a 15-year old crime should require a LOT of corroborating evidence. That requires a confession or witnesses.... which means even more people knew about everything. The idea of others (possibly) standing by while this took place disgusts me.
Adventure Games in on the far side of Scranton, too far to have visited, barring one visit six years ago. In all of the game stores I've visited over thirty years, nothing screamed the type of place were that would happen, but the saddest truth of all, in these lower echelon of game stores, nothing I witnessed would make the arrest shocking, and that's the greatest problem of all.
The announcement of the store trading hands went over on social media prior to the formal arrest, and all but a select few were oblivious to the allegations, the inquiry, and the ensuing arrest.
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
(Kickstarter) Sumo Gnomes!
Peculiarity in the UK has launched a Kickstarter campaign for Sumo Gnomes!
The base pledge level of the compact box is roughly $14 with another $5 or so for shipping to the States.
Or you can go another five bucks for the box set with resin Sumo Dwarves!
Or you can go another five bucks for the box set with resin Sumo Dwarves!
Uh-oh.... a Critical Miss!
If you're wondering what we ate before Hot Pockets and pizza rolls or are looking for a Franco-American connection to role-playing, here's one of the ingenious designs that have been made by Angry Pom dice on etsy
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Lost Dispatches of Feraso #47 - The Philosopher Kings and Warrior Monks of Danaan
5th of the Month of DecDec in the Imperial Year of 1023
The City of Afiny, capital, The Republic of Danaan
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
Entering into Danaan, I could immediately see the difference just in the architecture. While Argivia has built their nation atop the ruins of an ancient civilization, Danaan still lives within those buildings. They are bold, tall designs with gigantic columns for support, and to let in air and sun from the ideal climate.
As a former scribe, I may barely speak conversational version of this dialect of Argivian, I barely comprehend their strange, almost dwarven runic alphabet, but I appreciate their love for libraries and correspondence and accumulating knowledge. Where Argivia is accumulating someone else's knowledge when they unearth treasures, Danaan has successful stored and maintain not only their own knowledge, but the knowledge of civilizations across the world.
A came to this conclusion even before we reached the capital of Afiny.
A massive city of over one hundred twenty thousand inhabitants, ancient stone structures with three or four different eras of columns are intermixed with more modern structures.
The government of Danaan is even more insane than Argivia. It seems like everyone speaks of this term, Demokratos, some perfect society of a by-gone age, but Danaan is a true Republic, without a king, like Argivia. The ancient tribes, families, and provinces send 500 of the smartest and wisest men to Afiny each year to help run the Boule, or government. Not only are laws enacted and treasuries filled, but these men run the various ministries of government. It's utter madness to believe that any place can find 500 altruistic men of knowledge who are above reproach, but it was difficult to find one of these men (and a handful of women), these Philosopher Kings (and Queens) who even pondered the simple concept of a bribe, much less allowed us to pursue that avenue.
Danaan's embrace of knowledge is also reflected in their religion. Like Argivia, Danaan worships a mythos known as Xellenism. Unlike the Ferasean gods, which Akana sits supreme, the Xelleistic gods are plentiful, quite elaborate, and while Zeus, the God of Thunder is atop all of the gods, rumored to live on nearby Mount Limpo (probably another accursed volcano) all of the gods play a role in day to day living in Danaan.
The open society seems to welcome any semi-civilized humanoid race to enter Afiny, as well as a dozen different shades of human skin from all over the warm water Mer Medi. While halflings and dwarves seem to avoid this pleasant climate, law-abiding elves, half-orcs, and gnome rub elbows with merchants from Ispatlia, Emron, Barthey, Myridius, Aegypt, Tripolis, and even the great Senzar Empire.
It may bring His Lordship a good chuckle or hearty guffaw, but part of this peaceful existence is credited to gnomes. The gnomes of the Xellnic region are similiar to our gnomes in the Kron Hills of Verbobonc. Short, inquisitive, but helpful souls, most spend their days tinkering with gizmos, or mining for gems. In the hills Eastern Danaan, along the border with Frakyia and Traldaria in the Barthey Empire, lay numerous clans of the martial Gnomus Titanus. These gnomes are the combative fury of the Xellenistic Titans who spawned the Gods after a thousand years of war. If a sliver of there legends are correct, they are some of the fiercest warriors of the entire continent. The greatest story I heard actually was supported with alleged artifacts of the time.
Prior to the Fereasean Empire, the Gnome Titans live happily amongst the common Danaanites, probably under Barthey rule. At some point the evil, twisted hordes of the distant Parthian Empire came rushing out of the desert and overwhelmed Barthey, sacking its capital, and still kept pouring further west. Danaan was not a weak land militarily, but it would take quite some time to assemble the tribal armies and a few competent naval vessels. It was up to a Gnome Titan general named Fromm Tyre and 299 of his men to hold off the hordes long enough for the humans to mount a defense and counter-attack.
By the time the Danaanite Tribes first arrived, they found 25,000 dead Parthians... and 300 very alive, if battered Gnome Titans.
In celebration of this great victory, General Tyre commissioned magical swords for all 300 of his men (including himself). Imbued with arcana, and inscribed with the words "Fromm Tyre" these swords are legendary amongst all people in the region, and the word of a sober Gnome Titan in day-to-day affairs is as good as law.
We enjoyed our respite here, between the excellent food, good wine, and finer company, but after enough swapping of adventuring tales, word of our residence reached the powers that be from the Boule found us and offered us employment.. to clean up a mess by a certain Talanth Blackash and Company....
Yours in Service,
The City of Afiny, capital, The Republic of Danaan
To His Lordship, Viscount Wilifrick of Verbobonc,
Entering into Danaan, I could immediately see the difference just in the architecture. While Argivia has built their nation atop the ruins of an ancient civilization, Danaan still lives within those buildings. They are bold, tall designs with gigantic columns for support, and to let in air and sun from the ideal climate.
As a former scribe, I may barely speak conversational version of this dialect of Argivian, I barely comprehend their strange, almost dwarven runic alphabet, but I appreciate their love for libraries and correspondence and accumulating knowledge. Where Argivia is accumulating someone else's knowledge when they unearth treasures, Danaan has successful stored and maintain not only their own knowledge, but the knowledge of civilizations across the world.
A came to this conclusion even before we reached the capital of Afiny.
The government of Danaan is even more insane than Argivia. It seems like everyone speaks of this term, Demokratos, some perfect society of a by-gone age, but Danaan is a true Republic, without a king, like Argivia. The ancient tribes, families, and provinces send 500 of the smartest and wisest men to Afiny each year to help run the Boule, or government. Not only are laws enacted and treasuries filled, but these men run the various ministries of government. It's utter madness to believe that any place can find 500 altruistic men of knowledge who are above reproach, but it was difficult to find one of these men (and a handful of women), these Philosopher Kings (and Queens) who even pondered the simple concept of a bribe, much less allowed us to pursue that avenue.
Danaan's embrace of knowledge is also reflected in their religion. Like Argivia, Danaan worships a mythos known as Xellenism. Unlike the Ferasean gods, which Akana sits supreme, the Xelleistic gods are plentiful, quite elaborate, and while Zeus, the God of Thunder is atop all of the gods, rumored to live on nearby Mount Limpo (probably another accursed volcano) all of the gods play a role in day to day living in Danaan.
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| The Temple of Zeus in Afiny |
It may bring His Lordship a good chuckle or hearty guffaw, but part of this peaceful existence is credited to gnomes. The gnomes of the Xellnic region are similiar to our gnomes in the Kron Hills of Verbobonc. Short, inquisitive, but helpful souls, most spend their days tinkering with gizmos, or mining for gems. In the hills Eastern Danaan, along the border with Frakyia and Traldaria in the Barthey Empire, lay numerous clans of the martial Gnomus Titanus. These gnomes are the combative fury of the Xellenistic Titans who spawned the Gods after a thousand years of war. If a sliver of there legends are correct, they are some of the fiercest warriors of the entire continent. The greatest story I heard actually was supported with alleged artifacts of the time.
Prior to the Fereasean Empire, the Gnome Titans live happily amongst the common Danaanites, probably under Barthey rule. At some point the evil, twisted hordes of the distant Parthian Empire came rushing out of the desert and overwhelmed Barthey, sacking its capital, and still kept pouring further west. Danaan was not a weak land militarily, but it would take quite some time to assemble the tribal armies and a few competent naval vessels. It was up to a Gnome Titan general named Fromm Tyre and 299 of his men to hold off the hordes long enough for the humans to mount a defense and counter-attack.
By the time the Danaanite Tribes first arrived, they found 25,000 dead Parthians... and 300 very alive, if battered Gnome Titans.
In celebration of this great victory, General Tyre commissioned magical swords for all 300 of his men (including himself). Imbued with arcana, and inscribed with the words "Fromm Tyre" these swords are legendary amongst all people in the region, and the word of a sober Gnome Titan in day-to-day affairs is as good as law.
 |
| A Gnome Titan in modern battledress |
Yours in Service,
Sir Elsderth Greyhawk, Lord of Greyhawk
Sage of the The Order of Merit,
Sage of the The Order of Merit,
Sellsword - Extraordinaire
Wielder of the Legendary Betrayer.
Wielder of the Legendary Betrayer.
Defilier of the Temple of Tiamat.
Slayer of the Wizard Sazor
Freigraff of the Totenlinden of Amberstoll.
DM Notes: So, the gentle but wise reader can ascertain that Argivia is a version of Macedonia, Danaan is a medieval Greece (Roman culture turned sideways in this world... into the Ispatlian Syndicracy). Frakyia is Thrace or European Byzantium, and Traldaria is Bulgaria, but more importantly the land that would become the Gran Duchy of Marakeikos in 1080. And Spartans might be a little shorter... and far more competent.
DM Notes: So, the gentle but wise reader can ascertain that Argivia is a version of Macedonia, Danaan is a medieval Greece (Roman culture turned sideways in this world... into the Ispatlian Syndicracy). Frakyia is Thrace or European Byzantium, and Traldaria is Bulgaria, but more importantly the land that would become the Gran Duchy of Marakeikos in 1080. And Spartans might be a little shorter... and far more competent.
But none of that matters to Elsderth and the Order of Merit while they try to enjoy their Holiday.
While Georic Western Civ teaches the dominance and importance of the 1st and 2nd Ferasean Empires, it usually omits that the "Epic of Aerth" in which everything is based, still has Greek/Macedonian influences, Mesopotamian influences, and also a powerful (if very insular) Aegypt to balance with the Senzar Empire (Atlantis). Are there more than two "Ferasean" Empires when counting ancient Argivia, Parthia, or even Barthey? Is it a coincidence that the first Ferasean Sorcerer-King was named Yota Barthey, the God of Ferasean Magic is Yotia, and the surviving empire is named Barthey? I wasn't really stretching for those, back in the day.
Next: #48 - Against the Giants
While Georic Western Civ teaches the dominance and importance of the 1st and 2nd Ferasean Empires, it usually omits that the "Epic of Aerth" in which everything is based, still has Greek/Macedonian influences, Mesopotamian influences, and also a powerful (if very insular) Aegypt to balance with the Senzar Empire (Atlantis). Are there more than two "Ferasean" Empires when counting ancient Argivia, Parthia, or even Barthey? Is it a coincidence that the first Ferasean Sorcerer-King was named Yota Barthey, the God of Ferasean Magic is Yotia, and the surviving empire is named Barthey? I wasn't really stretching for those, back in the day.
Next: #48 - Against the Giants
Monday, October 7, 2019
Pumpkins, Gladiatorial Combat, and the "Last Days" of Warm Weather
After a rough week at work at me, a week that confirmed my wife wasn't going to be laid off, and the general chaos of the kids and their activities, we were met by frost temperatures Saturday morning and a completely wide open schedule.
My wife got her hair cut for the first time possibly this year and boldly declared, "Let's go to the pumpkin patch!" Surprisingly, we all agreed and away we went.
I won't bore you with the details of the place we went to. Pumpkins, apples, apple butter, and real soda was obtained, hay rides partaken of, but most important was throwing Millie into one of these plastic inflatable things, and like bloodthirsty Romans at the Colosseum, watched her perform ritual combat with other children.
My wife also had a small girl's night out, leaving Dad to feed the kids (hoo-ray wings!) and finally get some potential gaming out.
We decided with the holiday to break out Osprey's Last Days zombie game, and with minimal terrain, and nary a gamecloth, tested out some rules.
To make things work faster, we eschewed the survivor group vs survivor group vs zombie basis, and just had a group of pretty horrible individuals get their prison refuge breached and a forced run to the the safety of their vehicle.
For an over-priced hardcover, it's a nice game. Without the quick reference sheet (available in pdf), it feels like a mess of simple, yet overwritten concepts. I certainly enjoy the campaign aspect of the game, although in the end, it is not Zombie Mordheim.
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| The goon of the group beats down two zeds before staggering away from the third.... |
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| One more zombie and it's the Taco Truck and freedom. |
Sunday was a perfect lounge about the house day, with a few minor projects, and, to the delight of a few loyal readers, the Space Marines from Fall-In! are finally primed fro Maja to paint, as well as all of the figures for Stuffed Fables... a more family based project.
Next: Possibly some painting *gasp* and either more zombies or mouslings.
Sunday, October 6, 2019
The Last Day for Oktoberfest
One thing that casual drinkers don't know that aficionados do is that Oktoberfest in Munich actually starts in September.... and ends today for this year's festival. #TheMoreYouKnow
Saturday, October 5, 2019
Savvy Gnome Maker Wanted
Want to give up everything and live through your passions?
One of the oldest garden gnome manufacturers is looking for a successor to run the business before they decide to retire.
The article from Reuters is here, although I realize now that it was originally published back in March. No word if the successor has been found.
One of the oldest garden gnome manufacturers is looking for a successor to run the business before they decide to retire.
The article from Reuters is here, although I realize now that it was originally published back in March. No word if the successor has been found.
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| The only bench I know with more gnomes that need to be painted... but their assembly line seems to be working just fine.(Photo from REUTERS) |