After a fight against the Culligan Man so epic, they needed two episodes to close out the storyline, the fair students of Illuminati University went back to their own social circles, only now they would give a knowing nod to each other as they passed on the Pent.
To ensure an all-inclusive student body, the Administration took outrageous rents to fill a handicapped parking lot with a multicultural assortment of food trucks. Of course, our hero students took part, especially since their cafeteria flex cards were accepted (with a hefty surcharge to the ArchDean).
For Pepe the King Prawn, he was scoping out the ladies, and found a suitable group congregating around a Vegan Organic truck. His recovery from his fight with the Culligan must have taken a long time, as he had missed the change in culture on campus. His Fiery Latin Lothario (2) was no match to the combined force of the ladies' #MeToo (6).
However, one woman named Shanequa seemed distant from the empowering groupthink, gave Pepe, a slap upside the head, but still allowed him to follow her around, dropping every cheesy pick-up line ever conceived.
For Keith Stone, he took a bee-line straight to a Semi-Truck with the extended sleeper converted in a kitchen. It has a simple sign, calling itself, "Ethnic Foodtruck." A very Orthodox Jewish man behind the window warmly greeted Stone, and asked for his order.
"Brisket on a Stick, of course, Arthur"
A screeching voice emanated from the back of the semi, "Arthur, is that Keith Stone? See if she's willing to date Miranda? Our daughter need a good Jewish boy like Keith, and he needs to eat more of our cooking!"
Arthur did his best to sell his daughter, a librarian, working a restrictive collection in the second sub-basement of the local library's auxiliary location. Perhaps another brisket on a stick was necessary, or the stripped down food truck Arthur was towing behind.
Or what was that high-pitched humming?
Everyone's favorite Black Power Black Bruin, Huggy Bear was having none of this multi-cultural mess, Caribbean sounded good on the weekend, but right now soul food was the only thing on his mind.
He strolled up to the truck and asked about collard greens and cornbread, but was shocked to find a bespectacled white hipster with a hair net covering his oversized beard, stick his head out and explain his cornbread recipes with such foreign terms as "Gluten-Free Organic," "Free-Range GMO Free Corn," and "Japanese wasabi infused Collards"
Caribbean food sounded much better.
Keith had finally convinced Arthur and his wife to trade a brisket and the empty food truck for a date with their daughter, even convincing her Mom to siphon gas into the truck for the ride home. Running into Huggy Bear, he showed off his deal, but the high-pitched hum was getting louder, and a cloud of dust coming from off-campus.
The pair tried to find Pepe to get out of there, but he was still working his ineffective magic on Shanequa.
Finally, something emerged from the cloud, dozens of Mexican men, with sombreros and weapons, driving into the parking lot on mopeds.
The student body panicked..... the Vesperadoes had arrived.
They began circling certain food trucks and groups of students. Arthur had secured his truck with armor plate, but soon, the Taco Truck "El Guaco" was up in flames.
Our trio of students tried to flee towards Keith's new food truck, but Pepe was delayed by Shanequa. Apparently, a small strange man encouraging a woman into a white unmarked truck with two other guys set off some alarm bells in her head.
Pepe did not want to delay any more, "Shanequa, my love, flee to safety, but give me your number first," he pleaded, still holding her arm.
"The only number you'll get from me is my size 9!" *Ka-PLOW!!*
Now cut off from the truck, the group split up. Wishing to avoid any sort of riot, Huggy Bear quickly walked away. As he neared a campus police card, he noticed a gentleman handcuffed in the backseat. The campus police distracted by this near-caravan of Latin men, Huggy Bear opened the back door of the patrol, asked the man what they got him for, and upon the correct answer, "I didn't do nothin'," promptly let him get out of the car. Unfortunately, he ran right into the violence and chaos, and two mopeds holding a chain nearly decapitated him.
Huggy Bear casually strolled back to his dorm room.
Keith Stone knew of one man who could handle this mayhem: Steve Austin. He dashed away to the nearest gym and found a bunch of guys in the Pro Wrestling LARP Society practicing.
"Does anybody like Steve Austin? I've come with a mission from him to kick ass and save the day."
Only one wrestler raised his hand, a wirey Freshthing that weighed no more than a hundred pounds. "I need to go back to my dorm for a few things, but it would be an honor."
Meanwhile, Pepe was trapped within the pillaging of the food trucks. He screamed like a small child and begged many people to take him with them. All refused.
Huggy Bear had almost gotten back to his dorm, but got caught in a demonstration by the Anti-Environmentalists trying to throw away TVs and microwaves into the regular trash. Luckily campus police don't carry handguns. Unfortunately, they do carry AAAAA+ Critical Intergalactic Pepper Spray, and hit him spare in the ass .
Keith Stone arrived back at the bro-ha-ha with his new sidekick. The sidekick, whom he was calling Winston, held a large wrench in one hand and a toolbox in the other. Keith had grabbed to a random folding chair to keep things authentic, and tossed that to Pepe. Pepe made quick work of the Vesparadoes near him, but soon a pack began circling him just outside his reach.
Keith tried to make one more valiant charge towards his new vehicle, but got caught in a cacophony of gunfire and explosions. He dove into a large blue barrel meant for trash. When the smoke cleared, he flipped the barrel upside down, and Looney-Toones Style, tiptoed away from the melee, avoiding open man hole covers and tunnels painted on walls.
Winston was overwhelmed by the mayhem, but he was the only one who noticed something peculiar about the man Huggy Bear let escape out of the campus police car and was laying on the ground. His recently cut-off arm was sparking. Winston dashed to the man.
Pepe used he's years working as a poor-man's mime to created a magic forcefield around him. Unable to penetrate the defenses, the Verperaroes continued to circle him. Pepe could do nothing but sit down on the dented folding chair and ponder how much air his mime box had left.
Winston scanned to the electronic components and whispered under his breath, "I have the technology, I can rebuild him." and proceeded to fix the young man.
Keith hadn't recruited a fan of Steve Austin the wrestler, he got the biggest fan of Steve Austin, the Six-Million Dollar Man.
After getting repaired the mystery man from the police car began a rampage against the Vesperadoes. Soon they were routed, but not before Pepe began a tiresome act of physically moving his mime box, foot by foot, over one of the open manhole covers and dropping in (the mime box never had an established bottom.)
He dashed through the sewers, but could hear the one marauder say, "Snake Gandhi will be unhappy we didn't capture the Shrimp."
Hours later, Keith and Huggy Bear were resting their wounds in the Student Union. Huggy Bear was sitting in a dairy concoction that was alleviating the burning on his butt. Keith was completely out of character, sipping on a bottle of water, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
A dirty, smelly Pepe came staggering in, "You guys, I managed to escape, ok? No help from you, ok?" In fact, I met a guy in the sewers who helped me get back. His name is Grimey and he's my friend."
*END CREDITS*
GM Notes: Yes, I went there. A caravan of Mexicans. #MeToo women. Cultural Appropriation, and yes Police on African American violence. At some point I did have a group of red-hat wearing students scream how this was ruining America, only to get hit with an RPG round, but I don't think that came close to saveing it. I may have crossed some lines with this one, and I'll probably do it again next time.
But regular readers might have put together the Taco Truck in the write-up is the same driven by Tuesday Hart, whom I introduced as Taco Tuesday earlier this week.
This scenario wasn't just a chance to Keith to date beyond his Joe Dirt demographic, this is the origin story for Taco Tuesday. More on this will come in later weeks.
To ensure an all-inclusive student body, the Administration took outrageous rents to fill a handicapped parking lot with a multicultural assortment of food trucks. Of course, our hero students took part, especially since their cafeteria flex cards were accepted (with a hefty surcharge to the ArchDean).
For Pepe the King Prawn, he was scoping out the ladies, and found a suitable group congregating around a Vegan Organic truck. His recovery from his fight with the Culligan must have taken a long time, as he had missed the change in culture on campus. His Fiery Latin Lothario (2) was no match to the combined force of the ladies' #MeToo (6).
However, one woman named Shanequa seemed distant from the empowering groupthink, gave Pepe, a slap upside the head, but still allowed him to follow her around, dropping every cheesy pick-up line ever conceived.
For Keith Stone, he took a bee-line straight to a Semi-Truck with the extended sleeper converted in a kitchen. It has a simple sign, calling itself, "Ethnic Foodtruck." A very Orthodox Jewish man behind the window warmly greeted Stone, and asked for his order.
"Brisket on a Stick, of course, Arthur"
A screeching voice emanated from the back of the semi, "Arthur, is that Keith Stone? See if she's willing to date Miranda? Our daughter need a good Jewish boy like Keith, and he needs to eat more of our cooking!"
Arthur did his best to sell his daughter, a librarian, working a restrictive collection in the second sub-basement of the local library's auxiliary location. Perhaps another brisket on a stick was necessary, or the stripped down food truck Arthur was towing behind.
Or what was that high-pitched humming?
Everyone's favorite Black Power Black Bruin, Huggy Bear was having none of this multi-cultural mess, Caribbean sounded good on the weekend, but right now soul food was the only thing on his mind.
He strolled up to the truck and asked about collard greens and cornbread, but was shocked to find a bespectacled white hipster with a hair net covering his oversized beard, stick his head out and explain his cornbread recipes with such foreign terms as "Gluten-Free Organic," "Free-Range GMO Free Corn," and "Japanese wasabi infused Collards"
Caribbean food sounded much better.
Keith had finally convinced Arthur and his wife to trade a brisket and the empty food truck for a date with their daughter, even convincing her Mom to siphon gas into the truck for the ride home. Running into Huggy Bear, he showed off his deal, but the high-pitched hum was getting louder, and a cloud of dust coming from off-campus.
The pair tried to find Pepe to get out of there, but he was still working his ineffective magic on Shanequa.
Finally, something emerged from the cloud, dozens of Mexican men, with sombreros and weapons, driving into the parking lot on mopeds.
The student body panicked..... the Vesperadoes had arrived.
They began circling certain food trucks and groups of students. Arthur had secured his truck with armor plate, but soon, the Taco Truck "El Guaco" was up in flames.
Our trio of students tried to flee towards Keith's new food truck, but Pepe was delayed by Shanequa. Apparently, a small strange man encouraging a woman into a white unmarked truck with two other guys set off some alarm bells in her head.
Pepe did not want to delay any more, "Shanequa, my love, flee to safety, but give me your number first," he pleaded, still holding her arm.
"The only number you'll get from me is my size 9!" *Ka-PLOW!!*
Now cut off from the truck, the group split up. Wishing to avoid any sort of riot, Huggy Bear quickly walked away. As he neared a campus police card, he noticed a gentleman handcuffed in the backseat. The campus police distracted by this near-caravan of Latin men, Huggy Bear opened the back door of the patrol, asked the man what they got him for, and upon the correct answer, "I didn't do nothin'," promptly let him get out of the car. Unfortunately, he ran right into the violence and chaos, and two mopeds holding a chain nearly decapitated him.
Huggy Bear casually strolled back to his dorm room.
Keith Stone knew of one man who could handle this mayhem: Steve Austin. He dashed away to the nearest gym and found a bunch of guys in the Pro Wrestling LARP Society practicing.
"Does anybody like Steve Austin? I've come with a mission from him to kick ass and save the day."
Only one wrestler raised his hand, a wirey Freshthing that weighed no more than a hundred pounds. "I need to go back to my dorm for a few things, but it would be an honor."
Meanwhile, Pepe was trapped within the pillaging of the food trucks. He screamed like a small child and begged many people to take him with them. All refused.
Huggy Bear had almost gotten back to his dorm, but got caught in a demonstration by the Anti-Environmentalists trying to throw away TVs and microwaves into the regular trash. Luckily campus police don't carry handguns. Unfortunately, they do carry AAAAA+ Critical Intergalactic Pepper Spray, and hit him spare in the ass .
Keith Stone arrived back at the bro-ha-ha with his new sidekick. The sidekick, whom he was calling Winston, held a large wrench in one hand and a toolbox in the other. Keith had grabbed to a random folding chair to keep things authentic, and tossed that to Pepe. Pepe made quick work of the Vesparadoes near him, but soon a pack began circling him just outside his reach.
Keith tried to make one more valiant charge towards his new vehicle, but got caught in a cacophony of gunfire and explosions. He dove into a large blue barrel meant for trash. When the smoke cleared, he flipped the barrel upside down, and Looney-Toones Style, tiptoed away from the melee, avoiding open man hole covers and tunnels painted on walls.
Winston was overwhelmed by the mayhem, but he was the only one who noticed something peculiar about the man Huggy Bear let escape out of the campus police car and was laying on the ground. His recently cut-off arm was sparking. Winston dashed to the man.
Pepe used he's years working as a poor-man's mime to created a magic forcefield around him. Unable to penetrate the defenses, the Verperaroes continued to circle him. Pepe could do nothing but sit down on the dented folding chair and ponder how much air his mime box had left.
Winston scanned to the electronic components and whispered under his breath, "I have the technology, I can rebuild him." and proceeded to fix the young man.
Keith hadn't recruited a fan of Steve Austin the wrestler, he got the biggest fan of Steve Austin, the Six-Million Dollar Man.
After getting repaired the mystery man from the police car began a rampage against the Vesperadoes. Soon they were routed, but not before Pepe began a tiresome act of physically moving his mime box, foot by foot, over one of the open manhole covers and dropping in (the mime box never had an established bottom.)
He dashed through the sewers, but could hear the one marauder say, "Snake Gandhi will be unhappy we didn't capture the Shrimp."
Hours later, Keith and Huggy Bear were resting their wounds in the Student Union. Huggy Bear was sitting in a dairy concoction that was alleviating the burning on his butt. Keith was completely out of character, sipping on a bottle of water, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.
A dirty, smelly Pepe came staggering in, "You guys, I managed to escape, ok? No help from you, ok?" In fact, I met a guy in the sewers who helped me get back. His name is Grimey and he's my friend."
*END CREDITS*
But regular readers might have put together the Taco Truck in the write-up is the same driven by Tuesday Hart, whom I introduced as Taco Tuesday earlier this week.
This scenario wasn't just a chance to Keith to date beyond his Joe Dirt demographic, this is the origin story for Taco Tuesday. More on this will come in later weeks.
No comments:
Post a Comment