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| Filar Gratzer, Actress, Wife to Pascal |
"Oh Honey, are these guys the Ne'vets"
"Filar, they're not a band. These are the fellas who are going to get us off-planet."
"Oooooh.... I'll put togetha a nice tray of crackers..."
Tarrie saw the numerous movie posters adorning the walls. He slowly realized that not only was this interior of the mansion in every one of those movies, but even outside shots (from a warmer time on the planet) played a role in crucial scenes of the A Few Good Rodians, and The Drop-Out, plus a slew of every bad holo-vid he had watched in every starport over the last decade. Their host noticed that Tarrie had noticed things.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm Pascal Gratzak, CEO of Gratzak Films, known throughout the galaxy as ExArts. It's been a long day, I just want to get off-planet, so let's talk."
Filar reappeared, dressed in a jumpsuit with gigantic bellbottoms, and a plunging neckline, holding a large tray of crackers and miscellaneous finger foods.
Pascal beamed at his wife, "My wife's been in every holovid I've made for mass consumption. She started as an extra and worked her way to headlining actress. She's the only woman I know with decades of acting props, but she still looks like she's fresh off the galactic shuttle in Coruscant."
Pascal offered drinks to the crew, yet only made Tarrie one, before bellowing down the hall to a different individual, "They're here. Get the stuff."
Two other males, one human, one Vagr, walked down the hall carrying a large black cylinder, almost meter tall and a quarter meter round. The pair brought it into the room with only a minor struggle.
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Ja Harkoor
|
Tarrie was finally adding two and two together, "Wait one second, are we leaving today?"
Pascal was matter-of-fact, "If you can, that'd be great. You want that drink in a to-go container instead?"
"Please..."
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| Rezege, Vargr Bodyguard |
Pascal got down to business. ExArts was one of the largest holovid producers in the galaxy, but most of the money was always tied up in other projects. To make matters worse, the embargo on off-planet commerce prevented them to delivering their latest two films to their distributor. Without prompt payment, ExArts was done for.
For a fee, he wished transport of himself, his wife, and the other two, B-video action star, Ja-Harkoor, and Vagr Bodyguard and ExArts investor, Rezege.
Ne'vets asked follow-up, "Are we transporting you, or are we transporting the cargo?"
"Yes."
Pascal continued. "The holo-vids you rent at the starport are sub-par but profitable copies of the art we produce. The actual film take up yottabytes of data, hence dis dense data stick. It would take years to transmit through space, even if communications weren't restricted right now with the commercial ban. I've got both films on this, 'Space Wizards' and "Mother of Meteors.'"
Tarrie was in full fanboy mode, "It sounds far more elaborate than 'Dweezer, Where's My Speeder'"
Pascal agreed, "If we can get these smuggled through customs without Imperial involvement, we should be good to go."
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| The storage device for the films |
The crew asked to go to a side room to go over details.
Tarrie called out an obvious flaw in any plan they would make up, "Ne'vets, how are we going to get that thing onto the ship, when custom will realize you emotional support beast isn't with you?"
"We can dress this thing up like an urn! I will miss Snowball terribly..."
This was far beyond brilliant. Wedge and Nutella from Palantir Customs had specifically said that funerals and caskets going off world were considered commercial activity and banned. Cremation and the required urn were considered acceptable. A quick discussion with Pascal and the producer called his best prop guy available for some conversion work.
Pascal was impressed with their ingenuity.
"See Dear, this is why we hire professionals. I love it. "I'll talk film rights about a funeral company smuggling items off-world. Ja still owes me another movie."
Ja only nodded and grunted. He and the Vagr had brought out the luggage for their group. A few small bags for him and Rezege, and a few standard crates with Pascal and Filar's worldly possessions.
Tarrie had one worry, "You were a basket case with customs coming in. You should be worthless with Snowball gone."
"Good idea, Duk'k you're in charge."
The crew escorted their passengers and the smuggled cargo right up to the Pretio. With a click of a button, the lift from the cargo hold dropped, the vehicle pulled right onto the platform and was lifted up into the ship.
Duk'k left the ship to pay for docking and fuel, while the others transported the "urn" to the other cargo bay, while Ne'vets manufactured tears.
Duk'k swung by the customs office, and only a large man with a giant beard, holding half his lunch in it.
"What can I help ya fer?"
"Hey Wedge, gotta pay the docking fees"
"You mean palatial spaceship hotel accommodations, you got it."
After a series of uncomfortable pleasantries involving purchases, and preferable mates of their respective species, Duk'k was given his leave back to the ship.
Given the signal to go, Tarrie and Frokazza bickered that Tarrie was still too drunk to fly the ship (and the droid took half his job duties). Halfway through their ascent out the atmosphere, Tarrie let go of the controls and stormed out of the cockpit. Frokazza grabbed the controls, clipping a navigational buoy, in front of the Star Destroyer enforcing the commercial blockade of the planet. The Star Destroyer hailed the Pretio, and Frokazza yelled for Ne'vets to answer them.
"This is the Imperial Star Destroyer, Meridius. Prepare to be boarded. Please reply."
Frokazza was non-plussed. "They were going to board us anyway."
"Just stick to the story, and we'll be fine."
A tractor beam took hold of the Pretio and pulled it into one of the hangers. A single squad of stormtroopers entered the vessel. After reviewing papers and questioning the new passengers, the stormtroopers did a cursory search, but they found nothing amiss. Most of the search focused on Filar's crates, which was nothing more than all the costumes from all her movie roles over the year.
Non-speaking tribeswoman in Planet of the Hutts? Right there.
Sexy spy outfit from her character tempting Ja Harkoor in Fake News? And she offered to try it one. "It still fits, boys."
The only other pause in the process was the massive bureaucratic paperwork on Duk'k and Ne'vets. The squad even called over an Imperial Officer, Captain Billick. He showed great interest in Ne'vets' great loss of Snowball. Despite a series of in depth questions, he simply nodded at the animal broker and allowed them to leave.
It was a roundabout four-day journey to the destination, Telos-3
Ne'vets and Ja Harkoor spent time working on stage acting and cheesy tag lines in the cargo hold. One "safe" judo toss was a bit too strong and Ne'vets was sent flying into the "Snowball's urn", knocking it over. The film case accoutrements were damage and some of the sawdust acting as ashes spilled, but it was quickly cleaned up.
Duk'k and Pascal discussed the B-Holovid industry to pass the time.
Tarrie and Frokazza were still not on speaking terms. Frokazza was fuming in the cockpit, practicing pilot on a flight simulator while the ship was in hyperspace, so Tarrie spent most of his time "entertaining" Filar Grazter, largely in his quarters.
The only time there was a chance of discovery was when Frokazza hit some wrong buttons and dropped the ship out of hyperspace. Discovering Frokazza alone in the cockpit, Duk'k looked for Tarrie but Tarrie mumbled something about "Finishing the mission" inside his locked doors.
Tarrie came out of his quarters, shirtless and sweaty, just in time to encounter an Imperial Officer.
Frokazza had dropped the Pretio right next to a different Imperial Star Destroyer! Boarding at that point was a given.
There were more questions, more paperwork review, but some of the stormtroopers recognized Ja Harkoor, and they were again on their way.
The Lieutenant of the boarding party could only shake his head and give Ne'vets his condolences. Ne'vets finally realized that the qualification for, acquisition of, and death of his support animal was not a matter of public record on the Imperial files, an odd black mark for a licensed merchant and broker.
Arriving on Telos-3, Pascal approached the crew of hiring them to escort them to the meet with the buyer.
"Der going to have their own muscle, so it'll be a smoother transaction. Filar honey, you stay here on the ship until goes smoothly."
Tarrie offered to stay on the ship, "I'll volunteer to guard your wife, and prep the ship for a speedy getaway, just in case."
Duk'k surprised everyone: "No, Tarrie, I'll watch the ship," further whispering, "I don't care what's going on, you and Frokazza need to man up and work together again."
After confirming the films were still intact, Ne'vets, Frokazza, and Tarrie walked from the starport to a familiar looking cantina. Finding the backroom, they met with the movie distributor contact, a human woman with short, cropped hair, supported by a group of thugs.
"I think we're good here..." she exclaimed, pulling out a two cases filled with credits. Ne'vets realized he could have negotiated a higher rate.
But a voice interrupted the complementation of the transaction, "There is no way this deal is legit, with these characters. Ne'vets, you still owe me money."
Ne'vets finally remembered being on Telos-3. In fact he had been in the very same room. Emerging from a side door in the room was the infamous local gangster, Laroc Sniksab (See Episode #1)
GM Notes: There was a lot of sidebar conversation on just killing these guys if things went dicey, trying to outrun the Star Destroyers, and going back to the the camel-race planet for drug runs. Those ideas were quickly quashed by the other crew members, but dealing with holovid producers did go over well.
It was also a perfect time to re-introduce Laroc, after fifty sessions.
Double Feature is a Traveller adventure from Challenge Magazine #28
Next Episode: #52 - Showdown at the Telos-3 Corral
