Historicon 2011 Part Two: Gnome Wars!

Okay, I feel much better, so here's the AAR for my game, "A Very Gnomish Civil War"

First off, much thanks again to the guys at Miniatures Building Authority for letting me use their display table. I walked into the main hall and immediately saw this:

Beautiful ain't it? The board was sans elephant, of course. The elephant was a ceramic planter that my grandmother-in-law made and painted back in the 70's. It's been sitting around the house for years, until my wife told me last year to get rid of it. I had other ideas, and it became the centerpiece of the game, the sacred shrine of St. Pachydermus.
Set-up: This is a Swiss Gnome colonial town. It has been subject to rioting and rampant looting over the last week. The Swiss government has been hesitant to use Federal troops to enforce the peace, but the riots are getting closer and closer to the local cheese refinery.

The Units involved and their objectives:

1st Federal Foot Infantry (Blue) - Relieve/reinforce the refinery

7th Federal Foot Infantry (Blue) - The garrison force currently protecting the refinery. Hold it at all costs.

10th Federal Foot (De Fooze) (Blue) - Relieve/reinforce the refinery with a special mission in addition.

The "Insurgents" (Tan and Green Swiss) - Cause city-wide panic and confusion, and if the opportunity presents itself, seize the refinery.

115th Sikhs - Stranded in this podunk port city, the Sikhs wish to liberate the Shrine of St. Pachydermus from Swiss control. General chaos is encouraged.

Swiss Park Rangers (Tan Hat) - Protect the shrine at all costs

And one very special "surprise" unit, no one knew about.

Early turn action: The Sikhs entered the board on a side street next to the refinery. They calmly marched down the street, came to a halt, and volley fired into the refinery. The 7th Fed took heavy damaged, but managed an uneasy alliance with the Sikhs for most of the remainder of the game. The Swiss Rangers had camped in the rubble outside of the shirne, and scrambled to their positions when word of Sikhs/Federal Troops were coming. By positions, I mean all over the board. One group traded fire with the 7th Fed in the refinery, another group took haphazard positions behind the walls, and one final group met their grisly demise turn one trying to tunnel across the street.

The insurgents had spread across the back alleys of the board. The brown insurgents wisely took cover, and had a limited patrol move from building to building. The green insurgents. spread out more in the open. This proved problematic when De Fooze landed on the docks mere inches from their position. Acting like grateful citizens had no effect, as the De Fooze unloaded their rifles into them. Somehow, one green insurgent survived, and De Fooze hurried along to catch up with the remainder of the relief party.

The relief party returns a warm welcome

At this time, special actions began coming up on the initiative cards. The 7th Fed in the refinery received aid from a Gnome Wizard. Oddly enough, the green insurgents got a wizard too. At the top of a three-story building stood a Highlander, holding a set of golf clubs and some rather explosive looking balls. Highlander mortar would randomly "practice" across the board for the remainder of the game.

The green insurgents tried to get into the backdoor of building along the main street to "spy" on the relief party. The officer opened the door, only to find a bar full of drunken Highlander (no relation to the mortar.) The comedic fashion, they said "Sorry!", shut the door and ran. Only the two Berserkers in the Highlanders, and charged out like Ogre in Revenge of the Nerds. They charged right into the panicking insurgents, only to be slaughtered by them.

The rest of the Highlanders continued drinking.

The Green Swiss Insurgents Interrupt a Private Party of Highlanders

Middle turns:

From a side street in the center of the board, a small convoy of two trucks and a sedan motored through the square towards the refinery. A healthy fear of the unknown allowed the brown insurgents, the rangers, and the 7th Fed to unleash hell onto the unidentified vehichles. Each driver was shot at LEAST twice and the vehicles crash along the street.

Back along the port, the 1st Fed decided to secure the hospital, climbing up to the roof. Although the random Scottish Golf Mortar was teeing off along the edge. They aimed their rifles at the wizard tagging along with the green insurgents.

Can We Have Your Autograph, Mr. MacWoods?

Even a trusty St. Bernard couldn't revive the Master of the Arcane.The green insurgents decided the best course of action would be taunt the drinking Highlanders. They even threw cheese into the bar, but that only scattered them. Of course, the very next round, the Highlanders met their cumulative target number for their objective and started mission #2...

The Swiss Taunt the Drunken Highlanders With Cheese

Later turns:

The 7th Fed defending the refinery moved outside of their facility to provide support for their relief that they saw slowly coming down the main street. The Wizard aiding them wasn't as nice. Gnomelings waddled their way through the back alleys until the got near the building most of the Sikhs were holed up in. A large explosion rocked the city and the Sikhs were significantly weakened. In a panic one of the Sikhs dashed to a shot up truck, discarded the driver onto the road and back it up at full speed towards the shrine. In the same vein as "Charlie don't Surf." We quickly learned, "Sikhs Can't Drive." The Sikh failed a driving roll and crashed into a wall. The brave Sikh jumped out onto the hood of the truck, did his best Scarface impression, and was promptly gunned down.

The Sikhs Try to Commandeer Some Vehicles

The brown insurgents dispatched the wizard's wolves with little problem, and had mopped up the remaining Sikhs. Except for a few buildings on fire, they held the remaining city between the town square and the refinery. Life was good.

The Highlanders had two objectives for this game (a) Chill out at the bar and roll 2d6. When the cumululative total of those rolls equalled at least 40 then, (b) Wander down the street from the bar to Falafel House. The Highlanders burst out of the bar and the green insurgent scattered, a few heading towards the local church (like that would help), and the rest across the street. They engaged the Highlanders, the Rangers, and even a few shots at the 1st Fed.

The Relief Company Catches the Highlanders Jaywalking

Oh, yeah, the relief force. The 10th Fed (De Fooze) wandered around the other side of town, passed the Falafel House and marched through the shrine and was heading to the refinery unimpeded. After spending some turns successfully dodging the mad golfer on the roof, the 1st Fed finally marched down the main street... right behind the Highlanders. The Highlanders simply ignored the fact that some of their stragglers "disappeared" and made it to the Falafel House. Inside FH? The green insurgents. Apparently they made bygones be bygones and had a nice drunk meal.

Tragedy struck the port city twice that day. If the newspaper hadn't been burned to the ground earlier, the top story should have been a lone gnomeling walking into a local Falafel House and self-destructing. Luckily the majority of its patrons, a mass of Highlanders and locals, had already left for greener pastures.

Although we called the game early to help the next fellow with his set up time, I decreed that De Fooze achieved their objective. Oh, they would certainly reach the refinery intact, in fact the traitor amongst them would reach the cheese tanks and set off the explosives strapped to his body. The explosion would take out a quarter of the table with hot molten cheese.

We had an absolute blast playing this. Not one group followed their objective to the letter. Most split up their forces, or got distracted by the "special events" that were occuring. The MBA buildings were a dream to play in. Just about every player wanted to put their forces inside a building "just because." The more modern terrain did not take away from the game play one bit.

Of course, after the game, Jim Stanton "The Gnome Guy" asked for the water on the middle east board to use on the big Gnome Wars game. I was so in awe with the table early in the morning, that I completely forgot to change up the terrain, save the elephant. The water threw me off at the start, but without it, I wouldn't have this final shot

I'm the King of the World!!!!!

The lone insurgent that De Fooze spared stole their boat! Probably the safest place to be with the players we had.