Tuesday, July 26, 2016

(Hackmaster) Burning Trogs Rule! #48: Fonzy Schlepprock's Wandering Watch

From the Journal of General Fonzie Schlepprock, Ambassador Plenipetory of the Barthey Empire.

14th of NonDec, 1135, Inside the Trophy Room of the Hill Giant Captain, Evar, Republic of Danaan

Sitting in the trophy room, I decide to check the room on the right.  No noise, but more cool trophies all over the room, except for.... NOOOOOOOOO!  Stuffed Gnome Titans!

The bastards!  What did they ever do to deserve this!!!  I'll kill them and burn this place to the ground!

Of course, I should be thankful it's not me on the shelf.  

I decide to go through the only other exit out of this room.  Finally, a room worthy of a General's stature... everything is super-sized.  I decide to let the rest of the room be except for a treasure chest full of dirty laundry and some loot... oh... what Happy Days!

There's also a map which I think is important should be studied further.  I decide that a door the behind is important, so I orchestrate a brilliant plan to quietly move the bed and investigate the door.  Behind the door are some stairs which lead down to a large room.  A giant portable stove with spikes seems to be attacking me...

mmmm... icing... stars.... icing... hey now, I feel better.

I find a few chests, couple of things of interest, coins, tusks, etc.  I take what I can carry and move on. 

Back up at the trophy room, I decide to check out the room on the other side.  I find a pet bear then I decide to kill it myself.    Nothing of value in that room to suit my purposes is found.  Proceeding randomly, I decide to open various doors and kill anything that moves. 

I found some scrolls that appear to be important.

I came across some female giants.  I single-handedly took them all out, after which I ventured upstairs.

I went downstairs to discover a senile old man, another giant, and an ape.  I decided to kill the ape and giant, I let the old man go, after much begging on his knees.

Oh yeah, I had to kill another ape before I needed to return to the trophy room and wake up the next person to take watch.

GM Notes:  Fonzy NEVER wrote in the journal normally, so it makes sense for him to take over as he's wandering the Hill Giant Steading when he's supposed to be taking watch for the Trogs in the trophy room. 

NEXT:  #49  Against ALL the Giants!

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