God Jul 2024!

(Gnome Wars) Swiss Training Practices

Swiss Gnomes have always been regarded as the quintessential gnome nation.  The many nations citizens and troops outfit themselves in the classic gnome look, well-known among the commoners, but the Swiss have adopted it as their national persona.  

The Swiss army is well known for their miners, their cheese grenadiers, and the rows and rows of blunderbuss to defend the country.  but that is not how they start their training.  They start with giant gnome-sized wooden spoons.

Swiss mandatory service and conscription, while serious, is grounded in their values of discipline, community, and resourcefulness.

The use of giant wooden spoons as the primary training tool for Swiss gnome trainees stems from both practicality and symbolism. Maintaining the proper armory of weapons is difficult in a nation where everyone is armed, so trainees begin with the giant wooden spoon for many practical reason. In the context of military training, these spoons serve as a unique metaphor: before a soldier can wield a weapon of destruction, he must first master the tool of creation.

The giant wooden spoons are heavy and unwieldy for the small gnomes, making them an ideal tool for strength training and endurance building as they drill. They help the recruits develop their coordination, dexterity, and upper body strength without needing to immediately wielding weapons. The trainees must practice complex drills with these spoons, learning balance, timing, and teamwork. The weight distribution of the spoons forces them to develop into the sturdy stocky troops the Swiss are known for.  

In some drills, the spoons are used in mock combat, where the trainees must hone their agility, defense, and deflection rather than brute force, reinforcing defensive strategies. The philosophy behind this training is that gnomes, who are traditionally peaceful creatures, must exhaust every option of defense and strategy before resorting to violence.

Once the trainees have spent a significant amount of time mastering the wooden spoon, they undergo a ritual called "The Stirring of Resolve," where they symbolically stir a massive communal stew, representing the unity and strength of the nation. Following this, they are finally permitted to transition into formal combat training.  

They are also scheduled equally for "Kitchen Patrol" or KP, where their spoon is used for creating daily communal meals.  

Even the progression from spoon to real weapons is gradual.   The spoons are stored properly and trainees move onto wooden blunderbuss and wooden melee weapons and finally then, the traditionally issued weapons.  

Many Swiss that complete training proudly mount their wooden spoon on the kitchen wall, a sign, like the blunderbuss over many hearths, that the gnome is part of something much larger. 

When an elderly Swiss gnome musters out of the militia, many receive a giant wooden fork as a gift from his unit, a play on the saying "Put a fork in him, he's done."  The proud veterans often find a spot adjacent to the spoon in their kitchen.  

And that is why many Swiss gnome grandchildren visit their grandparents and see the giant spoon and fork on the kitchen wall. 

Winter Has Officially Arrived

We got snow yesterday, cancelling all of the kids' activities, and today the temperatures dip down for a frigid weekend.  

Time to fight the crowds for some final gifts, pick up the food for my Kjottbollar, and start baking bread.

 

(Painting) Rusty Steel Pyramids for Death Planet Iota

My little world of Death Planet Iota, a place where a miss-mash of figure that fight it out realistically, is honestly somewhere between Sakaar from Thor: Ragnarok and the Void from Loki. Portions are murderously deadly wasteland, but there are sections where civilization thrives.  

I'm hoping is civilization finds these items spawning on the planet, they would snag them up for defense.  

These are originally packing caps for the standing desk I recently set up as my painting bench (see 11/13 post).  Some spray paint, dry bushing and sponging on two layers of rust.  

The best part about this terrain?  Completely stackable for easy transport! 

In the Queue: The Star Wars refurbishment continues on the side, with Gnomes, Zulus, and unpainted Star Wars in the queue.  Shooting for one more post before the holidays.

Project 350:   Maintaining the status quo at 496 (311/185).  I've got five open days without a post between now and the end of January, thanks to the #CharacterCreationChallenge, so a goal of 450 in the next month could happen.... but probably I'll come up just short.

(Star Wars d6) #105 - Flashback - Life Day Special - Shadows of Yavin IV, Part 2

Two lovers of wildlife walked through the crystal clear waters of the pool back to the adjacent bar on the pleasure planet Zeltros.   Famed Safari host Abel Norrum was buying the next round of neon-green drinks for his friend, exotic animal broker, Ne'vets Aharo, while Aharo apprised him on all the outrageous tales that occurred since their last meeting.

"So Ne'vets, let me get this straight... you and your crew are crammed in a tiny rental freighter only meant for one person.  To make some repairs, your new pilot Tarrie has some connections to fix the ship and rest.  Only... you land on a future rebel base, and your pilot's sister is infamous Rebel bomber... and pilot Latorna Savvn?" 

"You make it sound so simply, Abel..."

"And the rebels are willing to fix the ship and pay some credits if you clear out some large mammals out of the ruins."

"In so many words"

"And these massive creatures were feral Selonians?  And you used yourself as bait to trap them, but they sprung their own trap and escaped with you?"

"I'm not proud.  I never used that plan prior, and I've never done it again...."

With the dust settled and the Selonians in retreat into the jungle, the crew feared the worst:  Ne'vets, the employer of all of them, had been kidnapped by some of the Selonians.  There were no easy tracks to follow. 

The group began a search and worked their way out, but quickly they all succumbed to a group collapse. the large rock fell into a sinkhole, at least 20-foot deep. They landed into an intersection some underground tunnels, more akin to burrows.  The air was quickly overcome with a thick layer of musk and the chittering came from every direction.

Evus took one look at Latorna and volunteered to take point down one of the passageway.  The rebel took hold of his shoulder and pulled him back,  "I like your pluck, but I've been doing this longer than all of us combined."

The group made some turns until opening up into a large cavern.  There were a host of Selonian young, and a number of females ushering them behind.  The females began hissing at the party, forming a desperate defensive position at the back of the cavern.

Evus yelled, "WHERE'S NE'VETS" , eliciting more hissing from the Selonians.

Latorna: Do we take hostages?  

Frokazza:  I say we do...

Tarrie:  Or we throw some grenades in and call it a day.

Evus:  WHERE IS NE'VETS!  The Twi'lek fired a single blaster shot into the ceiling , bringing down some dirt.  The Selonian quieted, the females continuing a hiss at a lower register.  

The group still argued the use of grenades on feral species, as Latorna turned back... and it was Tarrie with a quick change of heart,  keeping a watchful eye to ensure Frokazza and Evus accidentally dropped grenades in the corridor.  

They didn't have a chance, as at least a half dozen male Selonian guards came down an opposite hallways and quickly engaged everyone.  Latorna pulled out her blaster and quickly blew the head off lead Selonian. then kicked another would-be defender, knocking them prone before putting a blaster shot point-blank into its back.  

The Selonian guards managed to squirm around the death machine that was Latorna and engaged the others, with little effect.  Latorna still had a frightful impact, grabbing a Selonian by the neck, then shooting it in the abdomen which her blaster on her hit.  

Frokazza dispatched one of the them that snuck through, and tried to pin another one on the ground.  Tarrie jumped up and stomped the creature.... 

The whole adventure was based on this artwork...

One Selonian managed to elude Latorna and tried to wrap its claws around her head.   Latorna couldn't seem to shake it, but she stumbled forward from a powerful attack.... Frokazza using his bowcaster on the Selonian on her head.... The Selonian was dead and the rebel definitely had a concussion as she staggered around the corner.

Evus:  "WHERE'S NE'VETS!?!"    He fired a blaster round into the head of the last Selonian in the hallway, guts splattering across Tarrie's face.

Slowly getting surrounded by reinforcements, Latorna knocked one unconscious with the butt of his rifle, and shot the one opposite him in the gut, as it slumped down on the ground. 

The other guards retreated in all directions,and the crew pursued.    

Latorna turned a few corners and ended up in a much larger cavern than the youngling warren.  A warm red glow bathed the area.  A handful of Selonian guards populated the cavern, including some who had retreated. There was a giant red crystal, which was pulsating, near the middle of the room.  A giant, hulking Selonian with red eyes emerged from behind the crystal.  

This can't be good.

Latorna laid out another Selonian with blaster fire.   The large, evil-looking Selonian raised a hand and Latorna flew up and back into the wall, her arms pinned to the wall. 

With the dark being distracted, Ne'vets popped his head out from the far side of the cavern, he fetched his possessions and began running down a corridor that only he knew was towards the exit to the outside.  

Tarrie entered the room and saw the fate of his sister, he drew his blaster and fired upon the evil entity.  The massive Selonian moved his other hand, reflecting the blaster shot into Tarrie chest, immolating the knitted vest and putting him a few steps away from death.  

Frokazza came into the room, surveyed the carnage, and began firing his bowcaster into the giant crystal, causing glowing white cracks in it.  

Evus was the last to emerge.  Using the Wookie as cover, he ran over to Tarrie and desperately tried to revive.  At best, he prevented the pilot from dying in the cavern... if they could escape this monstrosity.  

Latorna realized that the second Tarrie's blaster shot deflected back to him, she could move her left arm.  Frokazza's shot showed weaknesses in the crystal, if not the massive creature.  With a mediocre flick of the wrist, she threw an object near the crystal.  

"Thermal detonator... I think you have ten seconds to get out of here." 

The thermal detonator landed opposite side of the crystal than the evil being, so it couldn't see, much less comprehend what was going on. 

Frokazza shot his bowcaster over the being's head, ultimately high-tailing it out of the cavern, following Ne'vets lead.   The missed shot was enough of distraction to break the being's concentration, and Latorna used her willpower to break the hold.  She helped Evus drag Tarrie down a different corridor.

BOOM

The initial explosion crawled through the tunnel system.  Ne'vets got out unscathed, Wookie emerged from the initial dust cloud, covered in dust.   The explosion and the damage to the crystal imploded most of the caverns, imploding the stone plaza above ground.  

Dr Emory Talen, the Rebel Biologist, had stayed above ground and seeing the survivors, fetched help.

Two days later, the next rebel transport arrived, luckily with some construction and excavation equipment.  Evus and Latorna were recovered, very much alive, with a special look between the two of them.  Tarrie was stable but still unconscious.  

There was no sign of the Dark Selonian monster.  

Tarrie was transported to a Bacta tank. 

Once Tarrie and the Oh-Ba-Die were up and running, Ne'vets determined it was time to go.  Evus pleaded with Latorna to come with them, but she refused to consider it.  The Rebellion was her true devotion. 

"That was the last any of us saw Latorna, until she magically appeared on Botajef and bombed that Jawa Juice." 

"Ne'vets, your operation has the oddest kriffin stories," Abel retorted.  

"Buy me another drink, and I'll tell you what happened with Evus told the crew how he hooked up with Latorna, buried under the ruins.   As it could be imagined, Latorna's little brother, Tarrie didn't take it well."

GM Notes: With Ne'vets kidnapped, his player, Steve, got to play Latorna this session. To go from a bureaucratic animal lover to deadly demolitions and combat monster was certainly a Christmas gift to him. The only failed roll was getting the Selonian on her

This two-part Life Day game is a first-time chronological appearance for Latorna, and establishes the unstable and possibly unhealthy relationship between Evus and Latorna.

Next: #106 - ????

(Painting) Deep Cuts Keg Barrels by WizKids

Some final holiday themed minis before my week of holiday gnome-filled posts kick in.

This is not one of the Reaper holiday-themed figures I got from my friend Scott at Mepacon, although it was a quick purchase at my FLGS down there before *gasp* a date!     

Desperate to buy something at Cloud City Games in the Palme Park Mall, these WizKids Deep Cuts Keg Barrels were about as perfect a purchase to whet my appetite.  

Obviously Santa is stocking up for the winter on Sugar Cookie, Pecan Sandy, and Oatmeal Raisin Stout. 

Holiday Game Day!

Okay, it's not a glorious day setting toy soldiers on the floor, but tonight's the hopeful completion of my online group's Star Wars d6 Holiday Game.  It's been fun to return to West End Star Wars after over 80 sessions of Gamma World (with more of both to come in the future).