The Wishing Well War
Scenario 1: Battle of Chucaquatre
The bloodied pilgrims were the first sign of a problem. The Holy Shrine of Chucaquatre was a tranquil site, the pilgrims who traveled there were respectful, contemplative, and most importantly non-violent.
It was unknown whether it was intentional or not, but the German Gnomes used their territory just across the border for military maneuvers and a proving ground for new weapons. Despite this apparent affront, the Germans were exact enough that not even a bullet fell on the grounds of the Swiss National Park that surrounded the shrine.
That is, until today.
Two German units, the 3rd “Die FleiderAffes” and the 27th “Die Leinenkugels” crossed the Swiss border during a training exercise. This mistake may have been forgiven within the diplomatic channels if the General Leinenkugel did not give the command to shoot pilgrims.
To keep the holy site peaceful, very few troops were kept within the area. The Park Rangers were better suited to shoo away squatters and pilgrims who overstayed their welcome at the park’s campsite rather than armed troops. The 14th Swiss Training Company had been ordered there for the last month of their training, moreso for litter collection than peacekeeping. The only other units within close proximity to the site were the 3rd Engineers. The 1st Engineers were swift and efficient in their work. What little they couldn’t accomplish was given to the 2nd Engineers. The 3rd were routinely loaned out to the Ministry of the Interior and ordered to perform road repair.
The Swiss units arrived at the clearing around the holy shrine around the same time as the Germans. As the 14th Swiss TC hid behind a hill and begun to tunnel, the 3rd Engineers sent a small group underground, the rest blindly charging forward toward the German right flank and the Leinenkugels’ guns. Their overabundance of pickaxes and lack of firepower made their tactics very limited.
The right flank. Rounds 1-3.
The 3rd Engineers were beset by disaster from the start. They instantly lost their tunneling party. The 27th Leinenkugels let loose one volley that decimated the troops trying to jump a fence. The leaders and most remaining troops fled to the safety of the hill on the far right of the battlefield. The Leinenkugels proceeded to jump fence after fence to destroy the remaining engineers and flank the 14th TC.
The left flank Rounds 1-3.
With the 14th TC hiding behind a grassy knoll, the Die FleiderAffes focused on occupying the shrine, taking pot shots at the few Limburger Grenadiers chucking cheese at them.
The right flank – rounds 4+
In a moment of Swiss desperation and German blundering tactics, the 3rd Engineers Cheese Thrower emerged from behind a wall and let loose it’s Molten Lactose Hell upon the Leinenkugels, who were bunched within a small area behind the shrine. Up to 80% of the 27th lay trapped within the cheese. This doomed the unit to eventual rout, but since the troops were still on the board, allowed the Leinekugel's Sergeant to fight a bitter battle with the remaining troops of the Engineers. The Sergeant lost a tough melee, and the 3rd Engineers made enough morale to survive until the 27th routed to oblivion.
The left flank -- round 4+
The Swiss tunnelers surfaced to the rear of the 3rd Germans, creating decent casualties, but were eventually brought done by.... the German Bier Nurse. To add insult to injury all German casualties were save by the German Bier Doktor!
Before the remaining 14th TC rose over the hill, a strange noise emanated from the outhouse near the shrine. A few moments later, the Gnome Wizard appeared out of it! Armed with his lightning bolt and two ineffective gnomelings, the wizard stopped the 3rd German advance to the shrine itself, but not one step further.
As the 14th TC charged over the hill, and epic one-on-one combat ocurred. Swiss Bier Maid versus German Bier Maid. Multiple ties were rolled until the German Fraulein reigned victorious.
The scenario ended with the Gnome Wizard following the 14th TC in a retreat (and eventual rout), and the Die FleiderAffes (Flying Monkeys) in control of the shrine. The German cost was high, with the loss of the entire 27th Infantry, but they now had not only a foothold into Swiss territory, but the booty of the shrine itself...
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