Our heroes, the De Facto Explorers, after sufficient rest, are ready to explore Fair-Town!
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Sneaky Pete: A mutated weasel scout. Pete's telepathy and night vision take a backseat when he whips out his electrical powers. Recovering from his injuries from the Glow near Ulmin.
Sonny Helianthus: a sentient sunflower artifact examiner with Restorationist ties.
Slitheran Wurmtail (aka Squiggles): a mutated earthworm scout, in impromptu power armor, looking for trouble, and finding it often.
Lathar Bracken: A pure-strain human from River Bend. He's got the muscle, the face, and a mount for most encounters. Lathar's trusty beast of burden, No Name, travels wherever he does. Looking for trouble in all the right places.
Ramsay Kallax: Mutated Ram from the far-off KIA Academy with a predilection for ancient treasures... and the occasional head-butt.
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Most of the De Facto Explorers spent the morning of the Queen's Day wandering the massed chaos of the throngs of visitors, and dozens of exotic vendors filling the streets. Street entertainers amused the walking crowds, while staged performances entertained those with tired legs. The group was introduced to oversized turkey legs and the concept of food... on a stick.
Before lunch, the ran into a very happy and content Squiggles.
"Where'd you run off to this morning?"
"I had a date with my frie....lady... comp....I met up with Ubenda and she didn't reject me at all. We did it! "
"Did what?"
"You know"
"No I don't."
"C'mon. Me... happy face... "
"Waitaminute. Worms do that do?"
"I think so, overwise we were doing things all wrong."
Pete stopped them, "I DON'T want to hear any details."
Conversation turned to Ramsey's interest in participating in the joust and trying to convince Lathar to use him as a steed.
Squiggles was confused, "I didn't know if you had any interest in entering."
Lathar corrected him, "I'm already entered.
"Oh, are you a top of a bottom."
"A top. I'm riding No Name."
"Oh. Ok, I guess I can joust. Let me grab some equipment and sign-up, Ramsey!"
Immediately after lunch, the brackets for the joust were posted, and Pete began setting bets, through the local bookies, and through himself. He expanded into the other martial contests, the pie-eating contest, and even the art show, but only managed to break even with those. He was in his element.
Sonny was not amused by the various contests, but his visit to Fair-Town was already a success. He had obtained the parts he needed from the Bug-Mart, and was contently reading one of the flimsy books, covering all about fishing techniques, some exotic locations, and a picture of some death machine of the Ancients.
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| They may have seen something like this on the way to Jainus. |
Squiggles prepped his new equipment, while Ramsay ran off to get fitted for a worm-sized saddle.
The last event before the joust was to begin was some sort of throwing competition. A giant stone ball was placed in the field adjacent to the jousting arena. Most locals and over-enthused tourists could barely budge it. While a few managed to heft the rock and throw it a few feet, the most successful ones used some sort of mental mutation to lift the rock. Some had it hover inches off the ground and they pushed it, with great effort, a few yards. The last participant, Booker Verendolt, made a throwing motion with his right arm, and the stone flew into the air, and kept flying, over the treeline. The crowd roared with approval.
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| Booker Verendolt - Boomerang Telekinetic |
Except the winner was not happy. Only Sonny was able to read Booker's lips while he was shaking his head.
"It's going to come back... hard"
Sonny yelled at his buddies to take cover.
The stone reappeared over of the distant tree line, but while it returned, it also broke up into almost a dozen smaller rocks. They peppered the grounds, injuring a few, none serious, and causing general chaos. It was later determined that Booker was disqualified for his stunt. No word was made of the actual winner.
Even amongst the injured and concerned, news of the Queen's arrival traveled through the crowds. Her carriage meandered through the streets, leading to the jousting arena. There, she disembarked her carriage and ascended her throne in the center of the crowd.
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| The Queen of Fair-Town |
ALL HAIL THE QUEEN! ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!
A brightly garbed man stood in front of her, "Your Highness... the joust is all yours. Would you like to commence?"
The Queen yipped in approval.
The early rounds were rather unexciting, with the experience "Lords and Ladies" getting paired with local lightweights.
Lathar was the first of the crew to mount up. Across from him was a fair-skinned woman in scantily armor, riding a giant spider. Arachne the Dark was an experienced jouster, but she was surprised that the barbarian used the same experienced battle techniques, notably using his mount's antlers to strike the spider. The spider emitted some sort of electrical discharge, shocking Lathar and No-Name.
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| Lady Arachne |
The Queen barked in approval.
Lathar 1, Arachne 1.
On the second pass, Lathar continued the coordinated mount attack, as did Arachne. The attack from both jousters were quite sloppy and ineffective.
Lathar 1, Arachne 1.
As the riders prepped for the third pass, craftsmen ran onto the jousting pitch and inserted wood through the top of the beam, blocking attacks from below the rail. Most mounts looked like it would take a great deal of cajoling to get them to attack a third time.
Third pass, Lathar landed a strong blow, while Arachne appeared quite weakened.
Lathar 3, Arachne 1. Lathar advances.
Squiggles and Ramsey's first round matched him up with a human riding a rakoxen.
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| Rakoxen |
Squiggles wins!
The rounds continued and Lathar retuned to another wannabe knight of the realm. Another three rounds, resulting in the competitor dropping their lance, and Lathar advancing to the semi-finals.
Squiggles and Ramsay met a less colorful knight, and promptly unhorsed them, although with less lethal results.
Pete had done quite well with his betting, but came upon a conundrum. Starting at the great jousting bracket beside the Queen, he saw the semi-final pairing for the next round.
After a dinner break, the final rounds of the joust would be lit by torchlight.
"Sir Lathar of Riverbend" vs. "The Defiler of Worm Virginity" Sir Slitheran Wurmtail
GM Notes: I forgot how big Boy's Life was in the 80's. I had Steve pick a number, and I came upon the June 1983 issue, the Summer Fishing Issue. We literally used "To Cry a Joust" for joust mechanics, adding a melee attack on d20 for bonuses.
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