What do Confederate monuments, eclipses, and stalled hurricanes with biblical flooding have in common?
It's probably all Covfefe's fault. At least we know he had a hand in it.
During the period of 1890-1920, numerous statues to Confederate war heroes were installed all throughout the South. While beloved by a populace properly distanced from a noble "lost cause", the financing of the statues had a more mystical purpose. Dampening the effects of hurricanes.
Many of the early monuments sat on power nodes: locations where ley lines intersected one another. This produced increased magical energy for local hedge wizards.... and actual wizards within the remnants of the first iteration of the Klu Klux Klan to promote their agenda of white superiority.
However, the destructive forces of the hurricanes that destroyed Galveston in 1900 and 1915, attracted much more powerful entities in the magical community. Documentation is scarce, but it has been ascertained that a summit of the some the most powerful organizations was held and it was decided that additional monuments would be built along the ley lines to draw these destructive storms in the interior of the United States, rather than linger in the Gulf, where they were prone to stall or even grow in power.
For nearly 40 years, this series of weather dampeners disguised as Lee, Jackson, Stuart, and others, worked well. It wasn't until this magical weather alliance began to crumble under the strains of post-war America and the Civil Rights movement that Hurricane Audrey slammed into the Texas-Louisiana coast.
Some groups decided that even more statues on weaker nodules could be used as a stop-gap, which accounts for the erection of new monuments through the 50's and 60's. However, it has been the utter lack of coordination of the numerous groups against the near-unstoppable power of Gaia herself that has caused the wall of monuments to act as a weakened sea wall, sometimes moving the brunt north, other times letting a killer storm through unimpeded.
Over the last fifty years, the sorcerer Covfefe has been one of the few individuals interested in maintaining this hurricane barrier. Feeding on Rebel pride and the fears of non-white races, he has regularly recruited white under-educated males into organizations to conduct marches and rallies, steeped with chants and songs that are only slightly deviated from the mystic texts. The events did not need to be big, as numerous rallies seemed to trump actual attendees. Sometimes even the threat of such activities seemed to accomplish whatever mysterious plot Covfefe wanted to achieve.
After the catastrophe which was Katrina, Covfefe realized the total solar eclipse in 2017 would intersect the hurricane barrier, and the right rituals could be used to strengthen it again. He dispatched his unwitting racist pawns to march against the evil of Progressivism and Multiculturalism, building a significant base that he could draw upon when the stars were right. Through his efforts, the Gulf Coast enjoyed over a decade of calm seas.
As the eclipse neared, however, a social movement to remove the statues for their connection to slavery grew across the country. This was not some evil conspiracy, rather a genuine effort by large groups of people to remove the overt symbolism the monuments represented. While many of the statues had little effect on the barrier, the speed of their removal alarmed even the eternal Covfefe. Fearing his chance to stabilize the wall was fleeting, he called up a large group of his neo-Nazi, white supremacists, and general racists to protest the removal of the statue of Robert E Lee in Charlottesville, Virginia, protecting a significant ley line, first documented by Thomas Jefferson. An above-average march with the proper mixture of chants by the alt-right and counter protesters, would be just enough to hold the barrier together, while the growing followers of the sorcerer worked towards a new multi-purpose "wall" along the the Rio Grande.
Unfortunately, violent members of the Antifa disrupted the ceremony. Within the membership of the anti-fascists has always been a volatile group of magical anarchists, cancelling magic for the simple sake of doing so.
They had undermined a slowly growing effort at Standing Rock. Occupy Wall St? There was reason the encampment was in Zuccotti Park.
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... and the mystical desires of the movement would have worked to, if it had not been for the undermining efforts of the Anti...ma?
With the protest in Charlottesville in shambles (even the meek attempt at a blood sacrifice by vehicle failed to secure his goals) Covfefe could only watch the eclipse occur and essential deactivate the whatever was left, leaving the Texas coast completely vulnerable to Harvey.
But what few realize, even among those who know the dark secrets man was never meant to know, was that Harvey was a summoned aberration that backfired thanks to the failures of Covfefe.
After Hurricane Katrina, tens of thousands of residents of New Orleans were displaced. This included some rather prominent practitioners of voodoo. In decisions that confused the homeless, some prominent voodoo priests were not allowed back into the city. This enraged those priests and instead of plotting revenge through traditional voodoo practices, many of them spent a decade working with Haitian refugees, and others delved into the darkest, blackest magicks.
They finally realized that their magicks could be combined to spell doom onto all within the city of New Orleans, innocent and guilty alike. They attempted a smaller version of the ritual two weeks before the eclipse, a steady rain that still managed to overwhelm the city pumps in areas. With the eclipse, and the loss of key "hurricane barriers" within New Orleans, a storm with the fury of the full ritual would linger over the Crescent City for days, if not weeks, sinking the city once and for all.
Except the ritual was terribly miscalculated. The failures of Covfefe caused a backlash that flew back to the source of the ritual, sending the destructive power of Harvey further west, stalled right atop the relocated, corrupted Voodoo priests... of Houston.
Or that's one way of looking at it.
It's probably all Covfefe's fault. At least we know he had a hand in it.
During the period of 1890-1920, numerous statues to Confederate war heroes were installed all throughout the South. While beloved by a populace properly distanced from a noble "lost cause", the financing of the statues had a more mystical purpose. Dampening the effects of hurricanes.
Many of the early monuments sat on power nodes: locations where ley lines intersected one another. This produced increased magical energy for local hedge wizards.... and actual wizards within the remnants of the first iteration of the Klu Klux Klan to promote their agenda of white superiority.
However, the destructive forces of the hurricanes that destroyed Galveston in 1900 and 1915, attracted much more powerful entities in the magical community. Documentation is scarce, but it has been ascertained that a summit of the some the most powerful organizations was held and it was decided that additional monuments would be built along the ley lines to draw these destructive storms in the interior of the United States, rather than linger in the Gulf, where they were prone to stall or even grow in power.
For nearly 40 years, this series of weather dampeners disguised as Lee, Jackson, Stuart, and others, worked well. It wasn't until this magical weather alliance began to crumble under the strains of post-war America and the Civil Rights movement that Hurricane Audrey slammed into the Texas-Louisiana coast.
Some groups decided that even more statues on weaker nodules could be used as a stop-gap, which accounts for the erection of new monuments through the 50's and 60's. However, it has been the utter lack of coordination of the numerous groups against the near-unstoppable power of Gaia herself that has caused the wall of monuments to act as a weakened sea wall, sometimes moving the brunt north, other times letting a killer storm through unimpeded.
Over the last fifty years, the sorcerer Covfefe has been one of the few individuals interested in maintaining this hurricane barrier. Feeding on Rebel pride and the fears of non-white races, he has regularly recruited white under-educated males into organizations to conduct marches and rallies, steeped with chants and songs that are only slightly deviated from the mystic texts. The events did not need to be big, as numerous rallies seemed to trump actual attendees. Sometimes even the threat of such activities seemed to accomplish whatever mysterious plot Covfefe wanted to achieve.
After the catastrophe which was Katrina, Covfefe realized the total solar eclipse in 2017 would intersect the hurricane barrier, and the right rituals could be used to strengthen it again. He dispatched his unwitting racist pawns to march against the evil of Progressivism and Multiculturalism, building a significant base that he could draw upon when the stars were right. Through his efforts, the Gulf Coast enjoyed over a decade of calm seas.
As the eclipse neared, however, a social movement to remove the statues for their connection to slavery grew across the country. This was not some evil conspiracy, rather a genuine effort by large groups of people to remove the overt symbolism the monuments represented. While many of the statues had little effect on the barrier, the speed of their removal alarmed even the eternal Covfefe. Fearing his chance to stabilize the wall was fleeting, he called up a large group of his neo-Nazi, white supremacists, and general racists to protest the removal of the statue of Robert E Lee in Charlottesville, Virginia, protecting a significant ley line, first documented by Thomas Jefferson. An above-average march with the proper mixture of chants by the alt-right and counter protesters, would be just enough to hold the barrier together, while the growing followers of the sorcerer worked towards a new multi-purpose "wall" along the the Rio Grande.
Unfortunately, violent members of the Antifa disrupted the ceremony. Within the membership of the anti-fascists has always been a volatile group of magical anarchists, cancelling magic for the simple sake of doing so.
They had undermined a slowly growing effort at Standing Rock. Occupy Wall St? There was reason the encampment was in Zuccotti Park.
With the protest in Charlottesville in shambles (even the meek attempt at a blood sacrifice by vehicle failed to secure his goals) Covfefe could only watch the eclipse occur and essential deactivate the whatever was left, leaving the Texas coast completely vulnerable to Harvey.
But what few realize, even among those who know the dark secrets man was never meant to know, was that Harvey was a summoned aberration that backfired thanks to the failures of Covfefe.
After Hurricane Katrina, tens of thousands of residents of New Orleans were displaced. This included some rather prominent practitioners of voodoo. In decisions that confused the homeless, some prominent voodoo priests were not allowed back into the city. This enraged those priests and instead of plotting revenge through traditional voodoo practices, many of them spent a decade working with Haitian refugees, and others delved into the darkest, blackest magicks.
They finally realized that their magicks could be combined to spell doom onto all within the city of New Orleans, innocent and guilty alike. They attempted a smaller version of the ritual two weeks before the eclipse, a steady rain that still managed to overwhelm the city pumps in areas. With the eclipse, and the loss of key "hurricane barriers" within New Orleans, a storm with the fury of the full ritual would linger over the Crescent City for days, if not weeks, sinking the city once and for all.
Except the ritual was terribly miscalculated. The failures of Covfefe caused a backlash that flew back to the source of the ritual, sending the destructive power of Harvey further west, stalled right atop the relocated, corrupted Voodoo priests... of Houston.
Or that's one way of looking at it.
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