(Kickstarter) Beneath the Mountains of Madness 28mm Pulp Skirmish for 7TV

 In a month that had a deluge of ZineQuest campaigns and more mediocre STL files that you could shake a stick at, it's nice to see the month end on some nice physical miniatures.

Crooked Dice Game Design has launched a Kickstarter for Beneath the Mountains of Madness, a 28mm pulp skirmish supplement for 7TV.

The campaign is to fund 30 28mm miniatures, resin terrain and MDF terrain. 

From the Kickstarter:
Players can play a cast of heroic Occult and Science Reserve agents and scientists or the demented Nazi servants of Hitler himself and their mutated allies. See terrifying aliens wake from their millennial slumber! Gasp in awe at the vile machinations of the Nazis! Tremble in fear at the unhuman battles that raged on the primordial Earth! Will our heroes be victorious or will the Nazi jackboot stamp forever down on the free world!

And any campaign that offers a U-Boat can't be all that bad...

... and as is becoming the norm, digital files are available.

(Gamma World) This is Not a Test #21 - Gelatin Man Has Honor

 Our heroes, the De Facto Explorers, after sufficient rest, are ready for the joust at Fair-Town!

=================

Sneaky Pete: A mutated weasel scout.  Pete's telepathy and night vision take a backseat when he whips out his electrical powers.  Recovering from his injuries from the Glow near Ulmin.

Sonny Helianthus: a sentient sunflower artifact examiner with Restorationist ties. 

Slitheran Wurmtail (aka Squiggles): a mutated earthworm scout, in impromptu power armor, looking for trouble, and finding it often.

Lathar Bracken: A pure-strain human from River Bend.  He's got the muscle, the face, and a mount for most encounters.  Lathar's trusty beast of burden, No Name, travels wherever he does.  Looking for trouble in all the right places.  

Ramsay Kallax:  Mutated Ram from the far-off KIA Academy with a predilection for ancient treasures... and the occasional head-butt. 

================

The sun set, and the tournament staff lit many torches to set the pitch alight. 

As Squiggles and Lathar prepped their equipment, and required pre-joust speeches, Pete and Sonny worked the crowd the bookies, looking for gambling action. 

The trumpets sounded and the riders for the other semi-final began, between Sir Zaxar and Lady Vespara.   Zaxar was an altered human, a regular attendee and occasional winner of the joust.  His hodge-podge of armor was covered with an odd, gelatinous glaze that he appeared to be exuding. 

Zaxar

Vespara was a regal-looking pure-strain woman with a full female entourage.  She had much lighter armor, but was was quite intricate. Her group had traveled from the far-off Western Lands, where the river ends.

Lady Vespara

Their first pass had light blows and shattered lances.  1-1

The second pass, Zaxar struck a solid blow that almost knocked Vespara off her mount.   3-1 Zaxar.

The third pass looked like a full charge at the mark, but Vespara appeared to pull up with some injury.  Zaxar slowed his mount and landed a glancing blow that the judges would consider a point.  Zaxar wins, 4-1. 

Lathar ran over to the the injured female, asking if he could be of assistance. Her team declined, but Lathar was surprised by the amount of blood that came out as they tried to remove her armor.  Lathar was quite taken aback and may have let out a yelp.

Zaxar rode over, saw Vespara's wounds, and without asking placed his hand on his foe.  The bleeding was staunched,  but the open wound remained.  He promptly rode away from snears and yelling from Vespara's team. 

Lathar regained his demeanor, as Vespara was being loaded onto a litter, "Don't worry m'lady.... I will defeat that slimeball in the championship to defend your honor."

Vespara stared at him with a blank stare, "Thank you, kind sir, although I hope you don't get a splinter grabbing your lance, less you faint from your injury."

After the pitch was cleaned off the second half of the semi-finals.  Sir Squiggles versus Lathar.

Squiggles formally presented himself to the Queen and the crowd:

Ladies and gentlemen, fellow knights and noble guests, 

I, Squiggles, the mutant knight with the strength of fifteen worms,

stand before you today to address an issue 

that has been the subject of much speculation 

and gossip in the court.

Yes, it is true that I have recently

 consummated a relationship with another worm. 

And while some of you may scoff or sneer at such a thing,

 I say to you that love knows no boundaries, 

and that true strength comes not just from

one's physical abilities, but from the strength of one's heart.

And make no mistake, my heart beats 

strong and true for my beloved worm. 

Together, we have overcome many obstacles

 and faced down many challenges, 

both on the battlefield 

and in the face of those 

who would judge us for our love.

But let me be clear: 

this love has not weakened me in any way. 

Rather, it has only made me stronger, 

more determined, and more focused 

on the task at hand. 

And that task, of course,

 is to emerge victorious in the upcoming joust.

For I am not just any knight. 

I am Squiggles, the mutant knight 

with the strength of fifteen worms. 

And with my beloved worm by my side, 

I will ride into battle with a heart full of love 

and a spirit that cannot be broken.

So let the naysayers sneer 

and let the doubters doubt. 

For I know that I am strong,

and that my love only makes me stronger. 

And when I emerge victorious from the joust,

they will know it too. Thank you.

It was obvious that Sonny had helped with the worms speech.  It was also sadly obvious that Squiggle's tryst, Ubenda, was nowhere to be seen.  

Lather's personal recitation followed suit:

Harken, all ye noble knights and ladies fair,

And lend thy ears unto my humble prayer,

For I, Lathar, doth stand before thee now,

A warrior brave, with righteousness endowed.

I ride into the joust with lance held high,

Defender of the weak, who in peril lie.

My cause is just, my heart pure and true,

And I'll not rest until my quest is through.

The secrets of the Ancients I seek to unveil,

For I am certain they shall never fail

To provide the answers we all seek,

And help us to live in a world less bleak.

But in the meantime, I'll joust with skill and might,

To defend the honor of all who fight.

My armor gleams, my steed is swift,

And I'll strike true, to give my foes short shrift.

Pete collected his winning bets, and paid off the side-bets on Squiggles. 

Sonny walked over to his worm-friend.  

"Quite impressive, my friend."

"Uh, thanks.  Do you see Ubenda anywhere?"

"Sorry, buddy."

A figure in in hooded robe emerged from the crowd,   Pulling the hood back only a bit, it presented a collected of pussy willows in the shape of a beard.

Hark, fellow knights and fair maidens, 

For I present to you,  Zaxar, 

the gravity-shaping mutant, 

to claim my victory in the jousting competition.

His abilities to manipulate gravity 

may seem strange and unusual, 

But do not let that fool you, 

for he is a masterful jouster, 

skilled and powerful. 

With a slimy and gelatinous texture, 

and the scent of ozone in the air, 

he is a member of the elite Gravity Shapers,

the finest of warriors, rare.

His customized armor has been crafted 

with the utmost care, 

To enhance his gravity manipulation,

 so beware. 

With my lance, he controls

the speed and direction of my strike, 

Giving him edge over all others in the jousting fight.

His mutated horse, with six muscular legs, 

is a sight to behold, 

With his riding skills, he rides

in perfect harmony, strong and bold.

 Together, they are a force to be reckoned with, 

a team supreme, 

And their victory in the jousting tournament, a foregone dream.

So let us ride into the arena, 

with heads held high and hearts ablaze, 

For this day, they shall prove our mettle 

and earn our rightful praise. 

With the power of gravity at his command, 

and riding skills honed to perfection,

Zaxar, shall emerge as the champion of this jousting competition.

The barbarian boy from Riverbend penned another speech:

Hear ye, hear ye, 

my fellow warriors and fair ladies fair, 

I, Lathar, stand before you 

with my trusty steed and lance in air.

 For I am not just a mere champion, 

but a defender of all, 

And I seek the secrets of the Ancients, 

for the good of us all.

With a heart of courage 

and a mind of steel, 

I charge into the joust, 

ready to do battle and reveal 

The strength and honor of a true knight, 

And to prove that I am worthy of the fight.

But let it be known, 

that I am not just a warrior, but a lover too, 

With a heart that beats for the ladies, strong and true. 

For I know that in this world of chaos and strife, 

Love and compassion can bring hope to life.

So let us ride into the tournament 

with valor and grace, 

For the honor of all is what we fight to embrace. 

And if the gods should favor me with victory this day,

I shall share my winnings,

and give to those in need without delay.

So let us ride, with courage and might, 

And let us honor the Ancients and their secrets, 

with all our might. 

For in this moment, we are warriors of Fair-Town,

Defenders of all, and bearers 

of honor, courage, and gold.

First pass was solid, but nothing extraordinary.   1-1 Tie.  The crowd began to boo, expecting a much better performance in the championship.

Second pass was full for fury, perfect angle and Lathar struck Zaxar's shield.  3-3 tie.

Third pass was much like the second, with both riders desperately teetering on their mounts.  5-5.  OVERTIME!!!!!   The crowd was finally back into it.  

The fourth pass was full of tentativeness with only minor blows.  6-6.

The fifth round was to be considered first strike wins.   Zaxar got the jump on Lathar, but Lathar changed up speed on No Name, forcing Zaxar to miss his strike!!! Lathar retuned the attack with a textbook blow.     

Lathar of Riverbend wins, 7-6!

Lathar rejoiced with his friends, save Pete, who was busy collecting the group's winning bets. 

Lathar collected his prize money, had a moment with the Queen, and was formally awarded a true prize, from the Forests of Nightmares.

GM Notes: The joust was my first introduction to Chat GPT, as I used it for the jousting speeches, starting with "create a pre-joust speech for a mutant knight named Squiggles, who has the strength of 15 worms, and has recently consumated a relationship with another worm. "  Lathar's speeches required a little more work, oddly.  Nothing could be read with the voice of Paul Bettany.  

Next: #22 - Leaving Fair-Town

Another Month of Gaming (March 2024)

The tail end of winter brings out a minimal number of new releases.  

Issue #289 of Game Trade Magazine is available at your FLGS, or online in PDF form here.

ViscountEric's Gaming Want List

Nothing, 

ViscountEric's Money-Is-No-Object Want List

Nothing

The Imaginary Store List (The Pegleg Gnome)

Adam's Apple Games

Agree to Disagree .................................................................... $25.00

Alley Cat Games

Tinberblox Storm ..................................................................... $15.99

Catalyst Lab Games

Shadowrun RPG: Falling Point ................................................ $49.99

Cubicle 7

Doctor Who RPG:  A Stitch in Time Campaign Book ............. $34.99

Doctor Who RPG:  The Thirteenth Doctor Sourcebook .......... $44.99

Devir Americas

Salton Sea .................................................... $39.99

Dragonfly Investments

Space Puppies ............................................. $23.00

Floodgate Games

Everything Ever .......................................... $19.95

GMT

Bayonets & Tomahawks .............................. $64.00

France 40 2nd Edition .................................. $55.00

For the People 25th Anniversary ................. $69.00

Rebel Fury: Six Battles from Chancellorsville and Chickamauga ..... $58.00

Konami Digital Entertainment

Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of Destruction Boosters

Looney Labs

Chrononauts: The Rest of Row E Expansion ................................. $5.00

Jinxx ................................................................ $22.00

Paizo Publishing

Pathfinder RPG: Howl of the Wild ............................................. $64.99

Pathfinder RPG: AP Wardens of Wildwood 2 - Severed at the Root ................. $29.99

Pathfinder RPG: Flip-Mat: Treasure Trove ................................ $19.99

Starfinder RPG: AP Mechageddon! HC ..................................... $59.99

Starfinder RPG: Flip Mat - Corporate Office ............................. $19.99

Rainbow Rabbits Games

Rainbow Bunny Bop ........................................ $10.00

Ravensburger

Disney Lorcana TCG:  Into the Inklands Boosters

Disney Lorcana TCG:  Into the Inklands Starters

Red Raven Games

Isle of Night ...................................................... $20.00

Steve Jackson Games

Car Wars Two-Player Starter Set Orange/Purple 6th Edition ................. $39.95

Express (The Railroad Game) ........................... $24.95

Munchkin: Pony Express Expansion ................. $11.95

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Bad Trips by Panoply Press

 When you need an impromptu adventure, turn to a road trip and used on the scenarios in Bad Trips.

From the Kickstarter
Bad Trips is an independently-published supplement compatible with Michael Sands's Monster of the Week, published by Evil Hat Productions. It's a collection of 10 ready-to-use mysteries, starring cryptids and urban legends from all across America. There's an emphasis on readability and ease of use, perfect for one shots and fast-paced gameplay. Gone are the days of you memorizing 8 page backstories and dozens of NPC names -- each Bad Trips mystery clocks in at just a few pages, including evocative art, monster stats, NPCs, and locations. Check out a free sneak preview below to see what it's all about!

Despite a backlog of Illuminati University adventures, these seem certainly doable for an IOU game.  $10 for pdf.  $20 + $5 S&H for hard copy.

Sci-Fi Paper Stand-Ups

 As I'm diving back into Planet 28, it was nice to rediscover paper stand-ups available to print out over at Tales From Farpoint.  In a game where there can be a variety of figures outside your classic wargaming troop types, paper stand-ups might win awards, but they are great for home games.

The blog also offer useable stand-ups for Kryomek and Battletech, perfectly usable for Planet 28, or any other sci-fi game.

(Gamma World) This is Not a Test #20 - The Joust!

 Our heroes, the De Facto Explorers, after sufficient rest, are ready to explore Fair-Town!

=================

Sneaky Pete: A mutated weasel scout.  Pete's telepathy and night vision take a backseat when he whips out his electrical powers.  Recovering from his injuries from the Glow near Ulmin.

Sonny Helianthus: a sentient sunflower artifact examiner with Restorationist ties. 

Slitheran Wurmtail (aka Squiggles): a mutated earthworm scout, in impromptu power armor, looking for trouble, and finding it often.

Lathar Bracken: A pure-strain human from River Bend.  He's got the muscle, the face, and a mount for most encounters.  Lathar's trusty beast of burden, No Name, travels wherever he does.  Looking for trouble in all the right places.  

Ramsay Kallax:  Mutated Ram from the far-off KIA Academy with a predilection for ancient treasures... and the occasional head-butt. 

================

Most of the De Facto Explorers spent the morning of the Queen's Day wandering the massed chaos of the throngs of visitors, and dozens of exotic vendors filling the streets.  Street entertainers amused the walking crowds, while staged performances entertained those with tired legs.  The group was introduced to oversized turkey legs and the concept of food... on a stick.

Before lunch, the ran into a very happy and content Squiggles.  

"Where'd you run off to this morning?"

"I had a date with my frie....lady... comp....I met up with Ubenda and she didn't reject me at all.  We did it! "

"Did what?"

"You know"

"No I don't."

"C'mon.  Me... happy face... "

"Waitaminute.  Worms do that do?" 

"I think so, overwise we were doing things all wrong."

Pete stopped them, "I DON'T want to hear any details."

Conversation turned to Ramsey's interest in participating in the joust and trying to convince Lathar to use him as a steed.

Squiggles was confused, "I didn't know if you had any interest in entering."

Lathar corrected him, "I'm already entered.

"Oh, are you a top of a bottom."

"A top.  I'm riding No Name."

"Oh.  Ok, I guess I can joust. Let me grab some equipment and sign-up, Ramsey!"

Immediately after lunch, the brackets for the joust were posted, and Pete began setting bets, through the local bookies, and through himself.  He expanded into the other martial contests, the pie-eating contest, and even the art show, but only managed to break even with those.  He was in his element.

Sonny was not amused by the various contests, but his visit to Fair-Town was already a success.  He had obtained the parts he needed from the Bug-Mart, and was contently reading one of the flimsy books, covering all about fishing techniques, some exotic locations, and a picture of some death machine of the Ancients. 

They may have seen something like this on the way to Jainus.

Squiggles prepped his new equipment, while Ramsay ran off to get fitted for a worm-sized saddle.

The last event before the joust was to begin was some sort of throwing competition.  A giant stone ball was placed in the field adjacent to the jousting arena.  Most locals and over-enthused tourists could barely budge it.  While a few managed to heft the rock and throw it a few feet, the most successful ones used some sort of mental mutation to lift the rock.  Some had it hover inches off the ground and they pushed it, with great effort, a few yards. The last participant, Booker Verendolt, made a throwing motion with his right arm, and the stone flew into the air, and kept flying, over the treeline.  The crowd roared with approval.  

Booker Verendolt - Boomerang Telekinetic

Except the winner was not happy.  Only Sonny was able to read Booker's lips while he was shaking his head.

"It's going to come back... hard"

Sonny yelled at his buddies to take cover.  

The stone reappeared over of the distant tree line, but while it returned, it also broke up into almost a dozen smaller rocks.  They peppered the grounds, injuring a few, none serious, and causing general chaos.  It was later determined that Booker was disqualified for his stunt.  No word was made of the actual winner.

Even amongst the injured and concerned, news of the Queen's arrival traveled through the crowds.   Her carriage meandered through the streets, leading to the jousting arena.  There, she disembarked her carriage and ascended her throne in the center of the crowd.

The Queen of Fair-Town

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!  ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!

A brightly garbed man stood in front of her, "Your Highness... the joust is all yours.  Would you like to commence?"

The Queen yipped in approval.  

The early rounds were rather unexciting, with the experience "Lords and Ladies" getting paired with local lightweights.  

Lathar was the first of the crew to mount up.  Across from him was a fair-skinned woman in scantily armor, riding a giant spider.   Arachne the Dark was an experienced jouster, but she was surprised that the barbarian used the same experienced battle techniques, notably using his mount's antlers to strike the spider.  The spider emitted some sort of electrical discharge, shocking Lathar and No-Name.  

Lady Arachne

The Queen barked in approval.

Lathar 1,  Arachne 1.

On the second pass, Lathar continued the coordinated mount attack, as did Arachne.  The attack from both jousters were quite sloppy and ineffective. 

Lathar 1, Arachne 1.

As the riders prepped for the third pass, craftsmen ran onto the jousting pitch and inserted wood through the top of the beam, blocking attacks from below the rail.  Most mounts looked like it would take a great deal of cajoling to get them to attack a third time.

Third pass, Lathar landed a strong blow, while Arachne appeared quite weakened.

Lathar 3, Arachne 1.  Lathar advances.

Squiggles and Ramsey's first round matched him up with a human riding a rakoxen.

Rakoxen

Neither Ramsay nor the Rakoxen were quite agile, nor were they fast, yet Squiggles was holding on for dear life, barely able to lift the lance.  At the last moment, the lance swung up and hit the human square in the throat, unhorsing him.  

Squiggles wins!

The rounds continued and Lathar retuned to another wannabe knight of the realm.  Another three rounds, resulting in the competitor dropping their lance, and Lathar advancing to the semi-finals.

Squiggles and Ramsay met a less colorful knight, and promptly unhorsed them, although with less lethal results.  

Pete had done quite well with his betting, but came upon a conundrum.  Starting at the great jousting bracket beside the Queen, he saw the semi-final pairing for the next round. 

After a dinner break, the final rounds of the joust would be lit by torchlight.

"Sir Lathar of Riverbend" vs. "The Defiler of Worm Virginity" Sir Slitheran Wurmtail

GM Notes:  I forgot how big Boy's Life was in the 80's.  I had Steve pick a number, and I came upon the June 1983 issue, the Summer Fishing Issue.  We literally used "To Cry a Joust" for joust mechanics, adding a melee attack on d20 for bonuses.

Next: #21 - Gelatin Man Has Honor!

(Kickstarter) EPIC WARPATH by Mantic

 After some fanfare on the internet that I've noticed, Mantic has finally launched their Kickstarter for EPIC WARPATH, for large scale battles in their Warpath Sci-Fi universe.  

It appears they're using scaled-down figures from traditional Warpath with new designs and sculpts for the larger weapons suitable for this scale.  Scale is stated at 12mm for the Enforcer infantry figures, with scaled down versions for vehicles. I still this gets lumped in the "Sci-Fi 6mm" category, where everything is wildly oversized compared to traditional micro-armor, but most 6mm buildings would still seem to fit. 

With the Forge Fathers one of the four factions offered with this release, it may be in my future to look into the heavy weapons/vehicles for a future of Gnomish Space Marine epic-scale.

Speaking of future, the game is scheduled for delivery in March 2025.  

(Kickstarter) Louisbourg 1758 by Old School Wargames

Even with #ZineQuest and a deluge of STL file campaigns going on, there are still some interesting crowdfunding for traditional games going on.  

Louisbourg 1758 is a two player block game covering the siege of Louisbourg.  

From the Kickstarter:

Louisbourg 1758 is a two player game on the campaign to take the fortress. One side commands the British while the other commands the French. The object of the game for the British player is to occupy the fortress of Louisbourg with their army or occupy Louisbourg harbor with their ships. The French goal is to prevent the British from achieving their objectives by the end of the game.

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - FÄNGELSEHÅLA by Dieku Games

 FÄNGELSEHÅLA (Swedish for "Dungeon") is a minimalist RPG that reads like an instruction manual to a popular blue and yellow Scandinavian chain.

From the Kickstarter:

We are inviting you to play an epic adventure with the elegance of the instructions from everybody's favorite furniture store!

This tabletop role-playing game takes a minimalist approach, offering an immersive experience without the complexity. Forget thick rulebooks and intricate character sheets – FÄNG is as easy to grasp as connecting the dots in an instruction manual.

Designed for new players and one-shots that allow you to embark on quests with mechanics so straightforward that you can be up and running in minutes.

PDFs are $8US and physical copies start at $15US.

Thanks to friend of the blog, srbirkner, for the suggestion, and forcing me to re-evaluate the game.  

(Painting) Sofa King Old!

With the constant barrage of triple-header basketball over, a return to the painting table, and a few ideas for Historicon get things finally moving.  

I'm not sure where I got the old couch from, although the same place I got the bombs and jerry cans from wouldn't be a bad guess.  Fun thing about cloth furniture, sometime the dark spots are on the spots that normally get drybrushed, and vice-versa. 

These mushrooms came from a recent flurry of purchases from Dollar Tree.   I've swung by a number of different Dollar Trees since, and they've not been part of the inventory at any of them.  The blue are pink flowers are from Huge Minis, the yellows are Army Painter.

The new fairy/gnome buildings have been a bit more fragile, and when one of them fell, it immediately showed up on the table as a repair project.   Too many pieces shattered on the ground, so it needed to become a damaged building.

The chicken is part of a chicken coop pack including the coop, and the chicken, and a gnome.  A little Seraphim Sepia gives parts of it depth, basing it up makes it a new objective marker!

Project 350:  (494) 321/173. from  483 (316/167) at the end of last year.   The backlog of #ZineQuest2024 posts holds up the scheduled post number, and there's still a number of unfinished #CharacterCreationChallenge for 2024 that I need to simply finish and start 2025 waaaaay early.  

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Pray the Gods Are Listening by Simon Birks

The flood is coming in Pray the Gods Are Listening and you must navigate your village to safety by ascending the Mount of Variya before the waters consume you!

Up to six players can take part in this adventure, each navigating their own village. Take turns to climb the steps, try and keep as many villagers alive, pray to the Gods for help and plot against your components to score the most points!

$6 for the PDF, $11 for a physical copy.

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Campanions

 In Campanions, you play the roll of the companions of mighty adventurers, biding their time until they return from whatever epic quest they're partaking in today.

From the Kickstarter:

You’re a hero.

You’ve honed your skills with a blade or fists or arcana. You’ve felled villains and monsters. You’ve traveled the land and seen things beyond your wildest dreams.

And today... you played fetch with the dog.

While you may be a hero, you are not The Hero. The Hero is out there right now, saving the world. You’re more of… a companion.

Welcome to Campanions, the game that answers the question, “what do those NPCs actually do while they wait around camp all day?”

How will you spend your time at camp? What will you learn about your fellow companions - and what will you learn about yourself?

$9 for a PDF,  $18 for the physical copy.

Happy Valentine's Day 2024

(Gamma World) This is Not a Test #19 - The Wrong Celery

 Our heroes, the De Facto Explorers, after sufficient rest, are ready to explore Fair-Town!

=================

Sneaky Pete: A mutated weasel scout.  Pete's telepathy and night vision take a backseat when he whips out his electrical powers.  Recovering from his injuries from the Glow near Ulmin.

Sonny Helianthus: a sentient sunflower artifact examiner with Restorationist ties. 

Slitheran Wurmtail (aka Squiggles): a mutated earthworm scout, in impromptu power armor, looking for trouble, and finding it often.

Lathar Bracken: A pure-strain human from River Bend.  He's got the muscle, the face, and a mount for most encounters.  Lathar's trusty beast of burden, No Name, travels wherever he does.  Looking for trouble in all the right places.  

Ramsay Kallax:  Mutated Ram from the far-off KIA Academy with a predilection for ancient treasures... and the occasional head-butt. 

================

After an engaging afternoon and the Fair-Town "Bug Mart", everyone acquiring random accessories of the Ancients, and Squiggles meeting and attempting to woo, another mutant worm, the street lamps were being lit, and it was time for food and shelter.  

Ubenda agreed to a morning rendezvous with Squiggles before departing. 

Sonny inquired with Loman where he'd recommend a place to stay.

"The Triple Comfort Inn is my place of choice, if you can get one for the Queen's Weekend."

"Do they have an garden?  I don't really need a room."  

"I don't know.  Don't care."

Travelling to the Triple Comfort, they were met my a well-dressed mutant river frog. 

The Innkeeper 

They were able to obtain one rooms, and Sonny found a spot behind the building, far enough away from the privies.

"But what about a stable for No Name?"  Lathar asked, not expecting his mount to last in the town overnight tied to the post.

"I'd much prefer a stall to sleep." Ramsey added.  "I don't get comfortable in a bed."

Finding a stable just around the corner, Ramsay realized he could see the meditating Sunflower behind the Triple Comfort.  Lathar and Pete left the stables, and headed right towards the city gates they entered from.  Pete was definitely interested in the exotic weapon the town guard had in their guard shack.  Unfortunately, the gates were locked and the shack was on the outside of the walls.  Guards patrolled the narrow3 top of the walls. wielding spears.

Seeing Pete calculating his chances to get in trouble while he further investigated, Lathar grabbed the weasel by the arm, "Save that for tomorrow, let's get a drink..."

The pair got a bit lost, and finally found a tavern, named "The Wrong Celery" 

The tavern was populated entirely by mutant plants.  

The Wrong Celery (NightCafe)

On a small stage, a Tulip was playing an organ grinder, while five small dandelions danced beneath him.   

The duo walked up to the bar, and the music stopped.  The two dozen plant patrons stared at the non-plants with some concern.

Lathar faced the plants, with arms outstretched, "Friends... what's better than roses on a harpsicord?  Tulips on an organ.  Be as you were!"

Most of the plants quickly chuckled and turned back to their drinks.   

The only other mammal in the bar was the dishwasher, but even he had a greenish glow on his skin.   

The bartender was an unusual looking bush, growing some sort of beans. 

"This should be fun.  Whaddya boys want?"

The back of the bartender

"Know anybody we can get topsoil from?"

"We're not that kind of establishment, sir."

"Just asking for a plant friend...  Can we get a drink for human consumption."

"Ok boys, two for the non-regulars, buddy."

One of the previously dancing dandelions at the end of the bar pushed two mugs down with all its might.

"Five domars apiece, you'll each only need one."

One sip and they both determined it was mead.   A few more sips, and the organ grinder kicked off its show again. 

As they looked around a steady flow of plant flowed in and out of the place.  

As they stood up to leave, the green-skinned human came out to bus tables.

"You guys into plants, or here for the Queen."

"Queen.  Why are you here bud?"

He pointed towards his arm, "Sages call this photosynthetic.  I like a sunny day like a garden."

"Cool, so what's up with the Queen.  Is there a ball?  Do the local go?"

"It's going to be quite the event.  I mean, tomorrow night we won't have an empty seat, and the drunks will flow out onto the sidewalk.  The only problem for you guys is that everything starts up really early tomorrow.  Streets will be ready at the crack of dawn for the tents to be set up."

"Tents?  Where?"

"The B-Mart is used for the tents, there's games, competitions, and a joust."

Lathar's ears perked up, "How does one sign-up for a the joust?"

The dishwasher, Clark, gave directions to the jousting pavilion, and went back to his duties.

The pair wandered out The Wrong Celery towards the other side of town.

Pete had an idea, "Hey, you're going to need one of Loman's helmets!   Better yet, I'm going to find out how to bet against you."

Sign-ups at the pavilion were simple and straightforward.  Lathar stabbed his finger and he signed his name in blood, using his name on his shield as a guide.  He pondered for a moment to sign up both of them for a pie-eating contest, but thought the better of it. 

One the way back, both of them could spy a couple crews of townsfolks with barrels and carts, cleaning up the side streets.

"Why are you going to bet against me?" 

"Maybe it might be more advantageous for you to take a fall, if it was financially attractive."

 By the time they reached the Triple Comfort, the gates must have opened, and many carts and wagons were setting up along the sides of the street.

Both Lathar and Pete reached their room and tell face-first into their beds. 

As the human and weasel crashed, Squiggles woke up to the commotion outside.

(NightCafe)

What was an empty street with a vendor or two, was now a mixture of races clogging the streets.  The smell of food wafted through the air.  

He wandered the streets looking for a coffee, but surprisingly no one knew what he was talking of.  After much concern, a kind soul selling potatoes in a booth called "Fry by Knight" got a ahold of him.  "Go to a place called the Wrong Celery.  Talk to the bartender. He'll take care of you.   Freshest beans you'll ever find."

Squiggles rushed down to The Wrong Celery, fighting the mass of humanity that flowed into the town.  Climbing a lamppost to get his bearing, Squiggles stared up and down the main way.  Not only were folks coming in the upriver gate, but the downriver gate was allowing and equal horde. 

Reaching The Wrong Celery, the bartender was quite glad to see him.  

"Hey, friend of the plants!  How can I help you."

"I hear I can get the freshest coffee in town?"

"You want a taste of me?"

"I like my coffee fresh."

"Five domars."

"Make it two, I got a worm friend to impress."

"Pace yourself.  It's a long six days."

A few moments later, two sealed clay cups of coffee in hand, Squiggles was on his way to meet up with Ubenda.   "Come back in a day or two.  Ask for Duncan."

Ramsay awoke in the stable to a different type of commotion.  A number of humans and mutants were in the stable, checking on their animals.   A careful ear could pick up that some of them were prepping their animals for a joust.   He poked his head out.

"This joust thing, what are the rules for non-humans?  Can I participate?"

The people were confused. "You could sign up as a steed... just not Centaurs.  You gotta find a rider and lance."

"What do you win?"

"The love and affection of the Queen.  The Queen loves jousts."

Pete was shocked awake to screaming outside.  Staggering to the window, acrobats were parading down the street, throngs of people at each side.  He staggered downstairs to Ramsay and Sonny at a table, observing a full house.   The frog looked a bit more frazzled.  

Lathar staggered down the steps a few moments later, a bloody rag around his right hand. 

Sonny was confused, "What happened to you two?"

"Have we got a bar for you...."

Next: #20 - The Joust!

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Bookwyrm by Hungry Familiar

Bookwyrm is a zine with many charts to provide varied and personalized tomes for your campaign.

From the Kickstarter:

Bookwyrm includes loot tables for 80 different books (and a short description of each) to include in your next adventure. Will your players collect the tomes to start their own library? Will they gain some knowledge from within the pages? Will they use them as a weight to activate a pressure plate? No one knows! But we can't wait to find out.

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - The Details of Our Escape

The Details of Our Escape is a "caravan-style" TTRPG, which means players control groups of 10-600 people within a larger 2348-person caravan. Dominos drawn at the start of the game dictate the size of each group, but each player decides what binds their group together, what they're fleeing, and what they're searching for.

A hand of dominos is drawn at the start of each leg of the journey and then played in sequence to build a path—sometimes veering towards good things, sometimes away from bad things. Dominos' numbers inform what the caravan discovers each tile, and the active player dictates all encounters and their individual group's reactions.

When someone runs out of playable tiles the caravan has reached a door (literal or figurative). Pulling from knowledge gathered on your travels, players work together to unlock the door and continue. Depending on the the size of your group and tiles encountered, however, your group may instead settle in the surrounding area rather than moving forward.

PDF is $10, PDF and Print is $20.

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - The Neon Jungle for Mutant Crawl Classics

The Neon Jungle is a 42-page zine setting and adventure for Mutant Crawl Classics and all similar post-apocalyptic RPGs. 

PDFs are $5 and physical copies are $12 (US and Canada only)

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Steamboat Willie by Wannabe Games

You knew someone was going to do it, yet thanks to #ZineQuest it's far better than the schlock horror movies taking advantage of certain properties entering the public domain.  Heck, he was on my list of #CharacterCreationChallenge characters before I bailed.  

Steamboat Willie: A Solo TTRPG where you are the artist for a certain rodent and not only storyboard adventures, but also adapt to marketing pressures to keep them relevant.

Using a deck of cards, an art tool or your choice, and some pre-selected background art, you will journal and create a new lifeline and timeline for the mouse.

$10 for PDF, $20 for physical copy (US Shipping Only).

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Tiny Fables

Tiny Fables is an oversized zine of 60 pages of sandbox style adventure for the Mausritter rules, but easily usable for any small anthropomorphic animal RPG you can see fit.

Mandatory Basketball Rant - Winter 2023-24 - Part Three

And with a bit of a whimper, the regular season for Varsity is over, meaning the triple-header games of Freshman/JV/Varsity are over...

Local Rec League:  I continue to show up to support games, although it's mostly because Maja is reffing and still can't drive.  Without parental interference, the system runs itself most of the time, and I've already targeted the future problem parents for the complaints in the Biddy divisions.

We're in full swing of the playoffs, yet most teams haven't had a practice in two weeks because the elementary school is putting on their play, thus using the cafeteria/stage/basketball court.  If the remainder of the board had agreed with me, most of the Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade divisions would have had three free throw shooting competition/pizza party already, and we could have opened up 15 additional hour-long slots to accommodate this schedule change.  Since I'm no longer the complaints department, I'm enjoying other folks getting the wrath.

Local Rec League Travel Team:  For the first time in four years, we sponsored a 6th grade girls team to play other local programs.  Between a tournament and the regular season, they ended up going 4-6.  It will be fun to see them, as well as the other girls, make the move up to Junior High ball next year. 

7th/8th Grade Junior High:  The teams Millie does not play for finished their seasons last weekend. Despite only having one player from the talented travel teams that dominated the last two years (the rest are playing Freshman exclusively), 7th grade held on to a winning record, going 10-9, and coming within two of an upset playoff win.  

The 8th graders, who had most of the good players move up to exclusively Freshman, fared poorly, going 3-15.  The lone good player on the 7th grade team?  She was the second-best player on the 8th grade.  

Between these two teams, I see no 8th graders making the transition to JV (they will get murdered in the summer league).  The rest will get dumped into bench positions on Freshman.   I do see the best player in 7th moving up to Freshman only, with the rest moving up to 8th, then 9th the following year.  

Good news is, with a glut of players above them, the 6th graders moving into 7th next year should all be together.  

Freshman: Why all the hub-bub above teams?  Because Millie's Freshman team has two true Freshmen, six 8th graders (2 starters), and four 7th graders (3 starters)... and they just finished the season 18-1, against 8th/9th grade competition.  They took some lumps early, but as the other teams improved, they rose to the occasion.  With Millie at point, a 6'1" center and three girls who scored at least 100 points, they were a force to be reckoned with.  Four of the six 8th graders are almost guaranteed JV as Freshman, so that leaves two 8th graders returning, who will be great next year, and the five 7th graders (4 current players, and the girl from 7/8 moving up), to form the core

Junior Varsity: Last year, mutinies and injuries in Varsity, stripped the JV down so much, they played their last 8 games with only five players.  This year, the injury bug hit JV itself, getting them down to 6 players, but a part-time Varsity bench player for two quarters a game.  JV stats are always sketchy, but I think they pulled out an 8-9 record... with Maja as the starting center!    When her friend, the actual center on the team, went down with a concussion mid-December, Maja was the only one willing to fill in the role.  It's been painful, watching her get beat up by clumsy giants on the other team, but as I watched the last two games of the season this week, I realized she was doing exactly the basic orders she was given:  box out players on rebounds and lure her defender away from the ball.   Her boxing out abilities neutralized the biggest girl on the court usually, which gave them a much better chance of rebounding.  She did have a monster game with 18 points, plus this week's games had her with 6+ blocks at crucial times, and two fouls total.  

Varsity:  Varsity team had a great run, going 15-8, but a costly loss on Monday is the season why the winning team is in the league playoffs, and they have to wait a week for Districts, then hopefully State seedings.  Not bad for a team with 2 Juniors, 1 Sophomore, and 2 Freshmen in the starting line-up! Maja ended the Varsity season with a whopping two points, and a hosts of assists, rebounds, blocks, and steals.   Her goal next year is continue to show she's indispensable, adaptable, and crazy enough to do what the coaches need from her, and crack the top 10 on Varsity.  Her job isn't to score 1,000 points (we have three right now on track for a 1,000+ each in their careers), but to do everything else to ensure for the team to win. 

ONE MILLION VIEWS!!!

I haven't been getting nearly enough finished with the blog recently, but almost 15 years and 4,700 posts later, and the Blogger Stats page is saying I've reached ONE MILLION (1,000,000) page views on the blog! 

Now we all know that's not a million separate individuals, or even on individual clicking reading a million pages.  I had that reality smack me in the face when, after five years of slow and steady growth each month, I was about to have my best month ever, when I suddenly got visited 5,000 times in a minute by a bot in Italy.   I've had some rabid "fans" over the years from China, Ukraine, and most recently, a Beetle-esque mania coming from Singapore, but looking at the analytical side, real human being are reading the blog and some even like it.  

Most of the bot traffic seems to be "front page" visits to https://gamingwiththegnomies.blogspot.com/ so my individual post data seems consistent day over day, year over year.  Sure, I've had to rewrite or even delete a half-dozen posts that triggered some sort of spamming, and I'm not exactly sure why one particular Star Wars d6 actual play post out of over a hundred still gets a dozen hits consistently every week, but I'm not striving for anything that natural web traffic, and I'm certainly not trying to monetize this thing, after all these years.  

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I would have greatly enjoyed the concept of blogging, particularly with all the Blogger gadgets, as a kid in the 80's. A repository of ideas, wants, dreams would be even more nostalgia now.  A place for all the Dice Baseball games, the original place for my first D&D campaign ideas, that I didn't need to rewrite with a twist years later, and perhaps more motivation to paint stuff when I had actual time as a young adult.

Now, there would be the dark ages of the blog, where all I would post would be Magic: the Gathering and my years working in game stores would have to be muted or anonymous regarding retail rants, but the landscape would be completely different with a full-blown modern internet 25-30 years earlier.

As I'm a statistical hobbyist to begin with, I already break down blog traffic a few times each year, most recently in October, and my Top Ten posts with traffic have the scars of bot traffic, so let's do a Top Five posts/projects I'm most proud of:

Convention Recaps - Be it Uncle Duke's Jubilee at Historicon 2010, the most recent HMGS forays, or running My Little Pony at local cons, they might be a little formulaic, but I enjoy writing them and, most importantly, PEOPLE READ THEM!  

The COVID Year - Technically October 2020 - September 2021. Base on the year-in-review I linked,  I got painting done, I played games with the kids, and generally documented the whole experience. As I wrote, the good old days weren't always good, but I'll take them. 

The Lost Dispatches of Feraso... and Beyond -  The ability to collect 30+ years of my original D&D campaign world completes one of those "If blogs were around in the 30 years.. and not a BBS" dreams I mentioned above.  

Call of Cthulhu 1920's Campaign -   In a similar vein, I got to update my CoC game almost in real time.  It's a nice build-up from one-shots and character-specific campaign development that transfers directly into a full-blown Masks of Nylarathotep campaign... with an open door to continue things.  

The Savage Saga of Maja Millie - My God, it's been 10 years since I started the on-going "Egypt" game with the my girls   It's been on hiatus for awhile now, but they were 6 and 4 when it started, and we complete three "seasons" worth of games.

Most importantly, if you're not an Italian, Ukrainian, or Singaporean (?) bot,  thanks for visiting the blog!  I'll try to do better next time.  

Gnome-Centric Releases from Dollar Tree

It took over a month since the first reports on social media, but the 2024 gnome/fairy houses that Dollar Tree has are finally in stock in the some of the stores in my area. 

I already have a number of containers full of the previous gnome houses, and these look a little taller, but they are made out of a flimsier material.  The mushroom house on the far right didn't come like that.  That landed on a sweatshirt on my floor and shattered!   The big pieces got reglued, but the rest of it was vaporized.  Time to decorate it as a damaged building for one of the Gnome Wars games for Historicon. 

The mushrooms will need to be filed down or mounted with style to stay upright.  Tempted to grab a few more to set up a large mushroom/toadstool farm. 

And if the gaps in the Valentine's Day candy on the shelves are evident, then the Easter stuff is out.  This year there are two sizes of oddly colored "Easter Trees"  $1.25 for a big tree is a bargain in a world where fantasy minis are $6.99 and Battletech figs are $30 for four useless model 'mechs, but that's just me.  

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Death Enters the Saloon by Daniele Di Rubbo

Death Enters the Saloon is a weird Western role-playing zine about guilt, judgement and fear of Death.

From the Kickstarter:
A mysterious figure has entered the saloon. No one knows them, although they seem familiar to everyone. When they sit with their back to the bar and begin to scrutinise you patrons, however, none of you have any more doubts: they are Death, come to claim one of you.

You know you can’t escape them but, out of desperation, you start a devious game: asking questions to the other patrons, to bring up their murky pasts, in the hope that Death will choose someone else, anyone other than you, inside this cursed saloon.

(Kickstarter) Tabletop Gone Mad: No-Prep Fill-in-the-Blank TTRPG One-Shots by Twice Rolled Tales

 And sometimes during #ZineQuest month, normal material is also launched outside the monicker. 

Tabletop Gone Mad: No-Prep Fill-in-the-Blank TTRPG One-Shots is essentially a book of RPG Adventure "Mad Libs" where the group answers a series of prompts to flesh the setting, concept, and conflicts along the way.  

(Kickstarter) #ZineQuest2024 - Beetle Knight by Jim Hall

 In Beetle Knight,you play as arthropod Knights designated by the Iridescent Order as protectors of the realm of Litterfall. You are thus duty-bound to travel the world, helping those in need.

PDF is $8.00, Print copy is $14.