(Risus) - Viper! - Hostile Environment Trooper - #CharacterCreationChallenge

I saw this AI rendering on a GI Joe group and knew it needed to be statted out for the last day of the #CharacterCreationChallenge

Zee Viper

Enthusiastic Pane Polisher (4)

Daring Dangler of Fenestral Clarity (3)
Vindow Dressing (2)

Retired Sewer Worker (1)

Zee Viper strikes the heart in royalty, but probably was lumped together in a COBRA! recruitment drive.  More can be found on the Animaniacs Fandom page.  Alas I can't find a safe link to the end of that episode. 

Don't laugh too much, somebody kitbashed Zee Viper as an actual action figure here. 

Donald Trump - Megalomaniacal Presidential Nilbog

It's not often that there's a gift that keeps on giving, but I should written this up in November....

Now, for the third time, I'm revisiting the current President, upgrading his stats using Risus: The Anything RPG.   He would have told you he had Boss-Level energy a decade ago.  Nowadays, it's a given.



 

Donald J Trump

Megalomaniacal Nilbog (see below)  (6)

Narcissistic Windbag Politician (5)

Pompous Reality TV Entrepreneur (2)

Cartographic Pioneer (2)

Mexican Structural Engineer (1) 

 

Equipment:  Cheap Blue Suit, Red Trucker Cap (Made in China), Hairpiece of Shift Blame, Always escorted by 1d8 Trump-lings, Golf Cart, Occasional South African Techo Chaos Imp.

 

Just in case you don't know what a nilbog is, here you go.  Everything makes sense if he's a nilbog.

Does a political nilbog need to be ended with an overabundance of silent kindness?  

And if you need a miniature for him, I've had him made appearances as "The Mayor" in my "Egypt" game with the girls for years.

The Don from Brigade Games

(Risus - Illuminati University) Les Ninjas Tombent du Plafond Sous La Douche

It's actually been awhile since we I dusted off IOU for a game, but our Gamma World session was going to heavily focus on the 9ft tall, four armed mutant sunflower, Sonny, and with his player's absence, I was adamant we were going to play something...

In a SFW setting, this is what I could build post-session: 

For Keith Stone, a late morning wake-up involved a beer shower of Keystone Light, but at some part of the festivities in the dorms, a spec of some hipster IPA must have fallen onto his skin, forcing him into the bathroom to take a legitimate real shower.  

The shower room was oddly busy for this time of time, the strains of "Sweet Home Alabama" reverberated from one stall, easily revealing Buckshot Calvert, the University's top Moopsball quarterback.  

On the other side of Keith was simply Pedro.  Not many knew anything about this man, except he carried a greatsword into a boffer LARP on the PENT (The IOU five-sided quad), and that he was a first semester Fresh-Thing, and technically off-limits in most situations. 

"I need a loofa, if someone can grab a spot on my back...."  

It seemed like God's justice for ninjas to drop out of the ceiling, just at that time.

Two of these six ninjas immediately slipped on the wet tile and knocking  themselves unconscious.  

One odd fact, as the three showering turned around:  The alleged ninjas were all naked.  

Pedro, assuming a threat, dove through the curtain, hitting the ninja in the face with the curtain rod.  Pedro shoved him into a headlock, then kicked another ninjas up against the wall.  

The three showering students were all quite alarmed that the ninjas were now holding katanas.

"Where were they hiding those?" Keith asked aloud, as he dove through the stance of another ninjas, his soapy body getting him out of immediate trouble, pushing off the bench, he redirected his slide to head out of the bathroom, where he spied a case in the wall with a bright red fire axe.   Doors in the hallway opened to see what all the clamor was about... this time.

Buckshot quickly squirted bodywash on the floor, and as his ninja stepped forward and slid into him.  Buckshot's put his loofa in his attackers face, spun him around, and shoved him against the handles of the shower.  

Keith dueled with a ninja, katana versus fire axe, but he was distracted by the flushing of a toilet, an a midget wearing a little-person approved  great helm emerged. 

The boys mopped up the ninjas, but only Keith saw the midget raise three fingers and speak a word, sending shockwaves through the bathroom.  Buckshot felt the waves through three walls and when he turned the corner, could only see the midget, visor on the great helm up, and everyone else was unconscious.  

"You know that's eye level for me.  Go find a towel."

"It's not eye level cause it's so close to the ground."  Buckshot retorted.

Roberto, the Resident Director halfling, chuckled, "Help me with these bodies,  I hate the Ninja Club, I never see them coming.  Could you please put on real clothes. 

Buckshot helped out and once it was just Pascal and Keith,  he invited all three to the on-campus church group he was chief advisor to.  "It's mostly shorter folk like me, but everyone is welcome, plus you'll love our snacks and fellowship, followed by second snacks and fellowship."

Roberto departed, and Keith woke up his classmates, and caught them up to speed.  "They're snacks!"

Pedro: "Just to confirm, my friend, are they the snacks, are we the snacks, or are there delectable treats after their religious rituals?

Keith:  "No clue, let's find out!"

The group was dressed up, Buckshot holding a keg under his arm, as a gift....

The walked down the hallway for the all-purpose room, passing the other rooms reserved for other groups:  Chess Club, Completive Combat Tag, Brazilian Lycanthropes, Ukrainian Basket Weaving...

They finally reached the end of the hallway, and none of them had ever seen so many midgets in their life (halflings, put these three weren't the most culturally sensitive.)  Some were dressed int their Sunday finest, some in jeans and t-shirts.  One of the college aged parishioners came up to great them. "Father Pip said you were coming."  He eyed the keg of Keystone Light, "We're NOT going to need that today."

"But it's what we brought!"  Buckshot clamored back. 

The parishioner pointed towards the altar, "We bring our own."

Buckshot's jaw dropped as he followed the little persons figure and saw the large wooden keg on the raise platform serving as the altar.

Keith: "I sure hope that's not an IPA."

The trio sat down amongst the throng of parishioners.  Roberto, "Father Pip" emerged, adorned with fancy robes and a strange hat. 

Keith, whispering to Buckshot, "He's the Pope of Midgets"

Father Pip: "Ah, welcome and greetings to the friends of Shot of Buck, enjoy your time her today." 

The three guys couldn't really follow the service, the memorized prayers and responses.  Soon a procession of other folks, six on each side.  They hold  four glass goblets,  four pewter mugs, and  four wooden tankards.   Father Pip was up front, in a booming voice, "May your troubles bubble away and your joys foam over...."

Everyone with a mug, raises it.  The rest of the congregation holds up their fist like they were holding their own.   Father Pip filled the containers with the contents of the keg, and they lined up in from of the altar.   Buckshot and Pedro scurried back to the rear of the room, where they protected their own keg. 

Instead of some ritual communion, Father Pip just starts telling stories you might hear at the bar.  The congregation lined up, each halfling taking a sip from their preferred container.    Keith followed up, led by some lovely ladies he had met.  

Pedro and Buckshot stood next to the snack table...  The selection of the foods was excellent, especially the numerous charcuterie board.  

Buckshot slid some delicious-looking red peppers up the sleeve of his red shirt.

GM:  Roll Save versus Charcuterie, please....  Pedro, you too.

Pedro:  Did you see the nuts?

Buckshot:  Which nuts? 

Pedro:  Deez.... Candied Pecans!

Buckshot:  Not now, maybe after.  What does Keith think he's doing?

And with that the Moopsball Quarterback rubbed his eyes in disbelief, triggering the mutant hot pepper which were up his sleeves.

Keith took a swig directly from the beer tankard.  Once the liquid touched his tongue, he seemed to spew twenty times the amount into the acolytes face.

"It's not beer.... it's sarsaparilla!"  

All the halflings were aghast. 

Keith:  My deepest apologies, this isn't the flavor blast I'm used to. 

The halflings bought the apology, falling for Keith's ability to be Always Smooth.

After the service, all was forgiven, and like the end of an episode of a bad 80's movie/sitcom.  They all clink glasses of sarsaparilla.....

GM Notes: We rolled a 71 on the IOU scenario generator, "21st Level Halfling Cleric of Sarsparilla fighting a town of ne'er do wells, led by a naked hobo ninja with a hidden katana."  I adapted on the fly.

Detailing some of the ancient storyline from the IOU campaign, Pedro's player may have linked Professor Pittleman to the bartender at the Wrong Celery in our Gamma World campaign.

These characters did earn the ally, Church of the Sarsaparilla 15+ (on 3d6) 

(IOU) Pedro the Gladiator

Pedro the Gladiator - First Semester Fresh-Thing

Orphaned Extreme Gladiator (4)

Charming Master Greatswordman (3)

Blues Clues on Ice #1 Fan (1)

Weapons:  The Hollow Fang, his personal greatsword.

Equipment:  Off-brand tablet for school classes, and an app where he writes "Paw Prints on Ice: A Clue-Sleuth’s Cold Case Files" 

Pedro is a brand-new Freshthing at IOU, a renowned fighter in his high school / historical era.   He's learned English from watching Blues Clues, and his class in "Marketing Ice Follies" has led him to an unsafe fascination with Blues Clues on Ice.. 

GM Notes:  When making a RISUS-IOU character for a first-time player, I always start with (1) What was the last movie you watched (2) Who was your favorite character in the movie, and then we break the character down to cliches and tropes.   Mike watched Gladiator 2, and we now have a teenage Pedro Pascal, trying out the catchphrases of all his other roles.  

Flubs and Boons: C.C.C. #2025 - Character #17 - Princess Zana ("Ris...

I thought I'd just go through all 31 days of the #CharacterCreationChallenge, write a quick recap and index where I gave my likes and dislikes of another year of the challenge, and then slowly prep behind the scenes for next years'.  

I do also give casual glances to what everyone else is presenting in the challenge, as it becomes a treasure trove of NPC ideas for the rest of the community.  

Nothing really made me giddy until Day 17, when I saw a link for Princess Zana on Flubs and Boons.

While I'm in the "Descriptor Noun" or "Noun Descriptor" type of player when it comes to Risus, the cliches may help bridge the disconnect some of my players have with the game.  

I love using Risus for some game session filler one shots, from our long-running Illuminati University campaign to our oddly satisfying COVID trilogy.  Over the last 20 years, about a third of players have had a hard time creating three cliches for their character, much less the traditional four.  While "Using Computers" doesn't have the same panache as "Secret Computer Whiz" we can always add embellishment after a few die rolls.

And I can plug in a Risus character into something like Nightcafe and it so desperately want to produce an AI generated character sheet. 

Pop-Tart of Doom! #CharacterCreationChallenge

We kick-off the #CharacterCreationChallenge for 2025 with one of the concepts I just didn't get around to in my abortive 2024 go at the challenge,  The Pop-Tart Mascot from the 2023 Post-Tart Bowl. 

Strawberry, Pop-Tart Mascot

Sacrificial Toaster Pastry (4)

Nourishing Fruit Scone of Champions (3)

Friendly Seasonal Edible Mascot (2)

Casual Swiftie (1)

Of course, I wrote up this simple version in Risus before the second incarnation of the Pop-Tart Bowl.  There is so much more disturbing lore to this football game, including how a necromancer resurrects breakfast pastry.

#RPGaDay2024 - Day 16 - RPG That's Quick to Learn

 Day 16 of #RPGaDay2024 and we're working towards a trick question:  "RPG That's Quick to Learn."

As a guy who espoused the virtues of TWERPS and Risus, I'm going to tell you, sometimes folks just don't grok the simplicity of the systems.   

I use Risus for a lot of our impromptu one shots, from Illuminati University to COVID Supermarket games, and I have a few players who simply do not comprehend the concepts of cliches as stats, much less trying to use inappropriate cliches for greater effect.  So much so, that I'm afraid to run an IOU game and make them create a full-blown Freshthing.   

After years of experience, the quickest game to pick up is Call of Cthulhu, any edition.  

The characters are normal humans, the rolls are percentile and the biggest change from 6th to 7th is moving to division instead of multiplication (or is it multiplication instead of division?)   The only thing a neophyte needs to know is that in Trad Cthulhu investigation is usually preferred over violence... to start.  In 35 years, I've never seen people not get the system.  

Now that doesn't mean players necessarily get the setting.  We've all had stories of powergamers and either their rude awakening to CoC, or actually succeeding in solving the secrets with superior tactics and lucky dice rolls.  

For those players, I introduce them to Delta Green, with the same hilarious results.

(Risus) Be Prepared for a Talent Show

 Our weekly Gamma World game continues to go strong.  As episode 28 dropped last Tuesday, I have another 32 weekly write-ups in the can.  We left off at a good break point earlier this month to allow a player a few weeks off to deal with this odd thing called "real-life."

In his absence, I finally completed my "COVID Trilogy", or better yet, perhaps I should call in the Coffee Shop Trilogy.

Still a point of controversy all these years, COVID killed over a million Americans and millions worldwide.  But few remember the bravery and sacrifice of some of the true heroes of the front-lines:  grocery store employees when toilet paper was stowed away, baking hit an all-time high, and people wore the most outrageous get-ups to either protect themselves, or fight the new world order authoritarian regime, whatever was the by-line of the week.  

Mike Pnevmonus was one of those heroes.  A dirty, hairy, and fat Greek butcher in the meat department of a Giant Foods in Pennsylvania.  He though he had seen it all before, the shortages, the runs on the store, etc.  and by the end of it, he hung up his bloody apron and traveled the country, trying to find a place to settle down in peace.  

He ended up in Bloomington, Minnesota, and thanks to his odd penchant for olive slacks, took a job as a cashier at the Boy Scouts of America Superstore in the Mall of America

The Boy Scouts of America Superstore, Imagined by NightCafe

Working alongside him was Hoyce McGurgle, a 20-year emo-kid who had survived the COVID nightmare with his teenage apathy.  A steady stream of poor reviews let him wander the countryside, the final destination: The Boy Scout Store.  

The best thing about visiting the Boy Scout Store in the Mall of America?  A possibly infinite supply of the photography merit badge. 

The biggest problem with the store?  They were almost completely out of any scarves.  At least that's where all the complaints were coming from all week.

Shawn was a regular at the mall.  When he wasn't accumulating 30,00 steps before lunch, he was the resident expert at every store, or so he told them.  Allegedly he had been a Boy Scout as a lad, and had a broad memory of the finest BSA minutiae.  Occasionally he was even helpful, so the the fellas thought it best to keep him around. 

It was a beautiful day at the Mall of America.  It was just the way Minnesota was.

Hoyce and Mike raised the gates to the store and wandered to their spot around the registers.  Shawn, fresh from his 4-mile mall walk, came in.

"Hey guys, what's new?"

"Photography badges."

"You guys had them yesterday?" 

"We got a new shipment of them yesterday."

"What about the Excalibur pocket knife I ordered for month ago."

"What about the ones we have in the case?"

"Those don't have the dentist drillbit.  The Excalibur has the dentist drillbit."

"Why do you need a dentist drillbit?"

"To complete my dentist drillbit?"

"You're 85 years old!"

Even the apathetic Hoyce noticed that there were an unusual number of people shopping on a Thursday morning.  He girded his loins for the overwhelming act of Scan--> Pay --> Next!

As the typical Scout Mom brought up the last Webelos scarf in the state of Minnesota.  Hoyce scanned the item, the mother inserted the credit card... and the terminal kept clocking, absolutely no progress.

Mike peered over to Hoyce's machine, "Run the card again, and if it's still not working, punch in the numbers."

Hoyce, "It's not connecting at all"

Mike, "Then the internet is down.  Sorry folks, we're going to have to go to cash only."

Hoyce: "The wi-fi is working, I'm on my phone right now."

Shawn:  We can build an amateur radio with all the parts you have in stock.  

While the chaos of the cash-only economy descended upon the store, Shawn stared out at a number of mall employees set up an entire stage, complete with lights and rigging.  Shawn has obtained his lights and rigging merit badge and begins to assist the employees, who simply know better than to tell Shawn no.

Shawn completes the lights up top, when he hears the words, "Good, we're almost done.  Talent Show starts in 15 minutes."

Shawn: Talent Show?  Who's talent?

Employee: It's just the weekly national talent show at the mall.  We placed a Sudoku Store at the old location of the stage, so this is going to do today...

Shawn:  Can I participate?

Employee:  Sure!  It's a $50,000 cash prize... in tens.

Mike's getting frustrating handling cash.  The POS system does not like people using the No Sale button to open the register, so cash is simply stacked on the register.

Hoyce has decided to simply force the customers to round up for charity,...

As the tiny talented kids in adorable costumes show up for the talent show, UPS showed up with yet another delivery.  

Mike opened the box and revealed the long out-of-stock Mall Talent Show merit badge.  Of course half of the last 22 years of Boy Scouts waiting on an eternally back-ordered merit badge were coming to the mall to get one, and the other half wanted to sign up to the talent show show they would qualify for the badge... then purchase it. 

... and it was still cash-only.

Shawn:  "These skits are going to be terrible"

Morty, the manager, finally emerged from his office in the stockroom of the store, coffee in hand.

Mike: "Waitaminute, we've had a manager here the whole time?"

Morty was surprisingly quick to call the credit card company, but hung up with worry.  "We have a problem.  Since the BSA is bankrupt, the credit card fees haven't been paid.  We need to fundraise to pay off our bill, so let's assemble a skit for the talent show and win the $50,000.  I'm going to get another cup of coffee at the other end of the mall."

Hoyce: "Whatever, I'm on the clock."

Mike handled some of the more obstinate Boy Scout moms, Shawn thought up a classic Shawn idea.

"Hey, they closed that Sears down a week before they even opened the mall, but I bet the old credit card slides are there."

Hoyce: "I think we'd still have to pay our credit card bills."

Shawn: "Sure, but you can still take the slips and process them tomorrow."

Hoyce:  "Great idea, let me go get one."  And like that, Hoyce wandered away from his registered and walked down to Sears.  

Mike was flabbergasted, and Shawn was trying to convince Mike to sing Spice Girls for the talent show.  

Hoyce was surprisingly adept at breaking into the Sears storefront,   It was also a shock just how many of the old "knuckle buster" credit slides and large level carbon slip presses were on the counter in the jewelry department.  

Realizing that the larger imprinter could be swung as a weapon, Hoyce almost broke a smile and said, "Cool" before returning to the store.  

Back at the store, Shawn jumped behind the register to try to help Mike.   While Hoyce was apathetic, he had most of the prices memorized through no effort of his own.  Shawn did too, but at 1965 prices.

With the full fury of the talent show dance moms, Boy Scouts, other folks looking to win $50,000, and Peculiar Sal, Minnesota's favorite parody artist.  

Hoyce dropped his machines through the glass counter, and took a 15-minute break.   Morty decided not to question Hoyce's actions, as the manger returned with his coffee, and officially signed up the group for the talent show under "Musical Act".

As the talent show started, that corner of the mall fell into a weird time warp as each act seemed like an eternity, yet hundreds of acts were getting on stage within the mall's regular hours of operation.  

Once the store employees were called, everyone dropped everything to walk behind the stage, abandoning everything.  Morty has brought out a set of four velour Boy Scout jumpsuits from out of the backroom.  

The Boy Scout store sat behind the stage, watching "Eugene the Magician" dressed as Gandalf, began doing illusion and hypnotism.    Eugene talents were limited but his own major talent was summoning the actual zombies in the Mall of America (who could tell the difference from regular shoppers).  Sometimes a random zombie would get distracted and attack a dance mom, but most headed straight towards the stage.  

Everyone was entranced by the zombie horde, except Mike, who eyed a straight path back through the store and out the backdoor.  

Shawn pulled out his Zune and tried to lure the back end of the zombie horde to a new location with some success.  

Mike and Hoyce fought through the crowd to return to the store.  They grabbed the stacks of cash off the register, and dashed through the back store room, through the back door, into the hallway.  

Shawn successfully led his zombie horde to Hickory Farms and Doris' never-ending free samples.  Except that the first Hickory Farms he reach wasn't a storefront, it was the classic kiosk in the middle of the mall.  Lucky for Shawn, the zombies organized themselves into an infinite line, Getting free samples from Doris until she fell from exhaustion.  

Shawn didn't like Doris anyway.  

The zombies finally reached Eugene and knocked him over onto the stage.  In a classic scene, it looked like the zombie descended upon him and began pulling his entrails out.  In reality, they had simply hit his stash of never-ending scarves for his act.  Boy Scout neckscarves,  The horde of Boy Scout and Boy Scout adjacent attendees, waiting on the back-ordered neckwear attacked the stage and fought the zombies for the cloth. 

Fast Forward two years, 2026

Coastal village, somewhere in Eastern Europe. 

Another year, another pandemic.  But the country couldn't afford the fancy medicines of COVID-25 and 26.   They relied on other methods for social distancing.

At a quaint little cafe,  a large Greek man spied his socially responsible friend with a super-model on each arm, Hoyce, walking down the street, and toasted for their good fortune.  

This completes a ridiculous trilogy of COVID-adjacent adventures.  Bigg Melons  and the Great Hall of COVidiots were run in the first months of the pandemic, and I never got to us the street cafe picture above.  It's only really related by the use of Coffee Shop, and the appearance of Shawn in all three.

(RISUS) Jared Dougherty - Cheetos Expert - #CharacterCreationChallenge

Day 11 of the #CharacterCreationChallenge and my planned blocks of characters seems to be a no-go, so I'm relying on painted miniatures and memes for inspiration.

For my RISUS: Illuminati University game, let's have a go Postgraduate student, Jared Dougherty, majoring in Cheetos.

Jared Dougherty - Cheetos Expert

Singly Devoted and Addicted Snack Enthusiast and Fan Club Leader (4)

Orange Tinted Finger Culinary Artiste (3)

Crunchy Corn-Puff Historian Living in His Parent's Basement (2)

Part-Time Delivery Driver Quietly Absconding with Inventory (1) 

(IOU) A Long Island Iced Tea, Made in Newark

After years of analysis and human sacrifice, the ArchDean of Illuminati University determined the winter break and subsequent winter mini-session to be the least profitable time of year, so the break was restricted to four weeks tops to accommodate the large numbers of holidays across the multiverse that  always fell around December and January in IOU's calendar.  There was still an outstanding contract with the tenured faculty giving them a fifth week, so there was a free week after finals.  Most thought it was just a way to squeeze more profit out of the smoothie machines, but student clubs determined it to be a windfall.  Budgets for clubs were finalized at the end of the year, and were based on end of the year membership, so the final week of mandatory school were clubs hunting the student body and cajoling them into joining them.  

For star Moopsball player Buckshot Calvert, hiding in the bushes seemed like the best course of action... until the Horticulturalist Club starting makin their rounds.  

Buckshot is actually a real person.

He sauntered out of the bushes, and his white jacket provided some camo on the snow-covered Pent (their Quad had an extra side).  

With hooting and hollering, Buckshot tried over something hiding on the ground.  

Buckshot had tripped over an African-American midget wearing a waiter's outfit, brandishing a weapon.  

Art "Maitre'D" Dowling

"Yo, what's this shit about?"

"I'm sorry my good fellow?"   Buckshot apologized.

"What the fuck you from?"

"Are you trying to imply that I'm uppity?"

"Are you calling me uppity, Buckshot?"

"You are too short to uppity...."

"I'll call us even if you throw the next game."

"Or I can slap your head, take your gun, and run away."

"You finished strong there, but you started real weak, buster."

There were bigger problems appearing on the Pent.  A large group of student, with mindless devotion to a single man and all wearing red baseball hats, emerged .... on horseback.

"Maitre'D" wasted no time, pulling out a blinged out Segway and slowly trying to drive away.  

The group, turned their ponies and charged.   The Mongolian Student Horde Organization was looking to expand across campus.  

Make the Khan Great Again!

One lone individual emerged to lead the charge across the pent.  Somehow Keith Stone had joined the Mongolian because they offered ponies, although he misheard that as pony bottles.  Seeing this as his chance to lose the losers, he charged forward.  Maitre'D fired his weapon, hitting the pony and causing a great tussle with Maitre'D and Buckshot.  

Keith Stone, Always Smooth

"That went poorly!"  Keith exclaimed.  

**FADE TO BLACK**

The trio found themselves contained an outside pen from the Mongolian house.  

Buckshot was second guessing the Confederate Flag belt buckle that was eye-level to Matire'D,  He popped the gate open, and brazenly left.  His sports stardom spellstruck the Mongolians, but the second he hit a public sidewalk, every other club noticed him:  The Beaver Tamers Clubs, the anime club, the Goth Penny Collectors, the Goths Who Collect Pennies, and the the Mongols main competition, the Visigoth Numismatists.  

The other two followed him, Keith grabbing a can of yak beer for the road.  

With the Visigoths fighting the Mongols over the rights for Buckshot, the trio dove back into the bushes.  

"You know where nobody goes after finals?"  Maitre'D asked

"The Library?" Keith Stone answered.

"You got it, dawg."

Unfortunately, it appeared that the Belgian Toast Club had set up an illegal rave at the library.  Hovering fifty foot above the library was a very two-dimensional triangle spinning around.  It began to move away from the library.  Anyone out in the open seemed to be telekinetically lifted up by the triangle, and once it touch the object, the people disappeared.  

Keith Stone stared up, took a sip from his yak beer, and in a rare moment, shared his beer with the others.  

The spinning triangle seemed to change direction if it hit any object, forcing students to change the direction of their fleeing.    Two human female Freshthings ran towards the trio, as well as a giant carrot dressed like a female opera singer.  The guys joined forces/hit on the fleeing females. and joined being chased by the floating triangle.  

The triangle was gaining on him, pulling Matire'D up into the air. Buckshot turned around and lept up to grabbed him by the wrists. Despite the save, both were now being pulled up by the power of the triangle.  

Keith, knowing that cylinders beat triangles, began chucking cans at the triangle,   Unfortunately, his aim has horrible, and struck both Maitre'D and Buckshot in the head.  Their hold on each other broken, they began floating separately, and faster towards the traingle.

Near their doom, the Maitre'D and Buckshot were saved by the Minority Student Union.  Composed of one-off transfer students from other galaxies, anthropomorphic ducks in Chewbacca cosplay, and a few Tongans, they owned the sufficient technology to temporarily neutralize the triangle's power.  Matire'D and Buckshot fell to the ground.

"Man, now I'm gonna have to go to one of their meetings," Maitre'D exclaimed.

Keith Stone was empathetic, "I'll go with ya, man!"

With that, the triangle remained hovering, stopped spinning, and began moving back towards the library raid.  

The anthropomorphic duck in cosplay directed them towards the large tents next to the rave, and handed them beverages.  

"What's this?"  Buckshot asked.

"I've partied with these dudes," Keith answered, "They know their drinks.  Top notch beyond my tastes.  Too much Neptunian Soy and their Long Island Iced Teas taste like their made in Newark."

GM:  An impromptu Christmas game of Risus IOU, created three roles on my massive IOU random event table.  Our random plot points: (A) "Jenga Khan",  (B) "Bermuda Triangle moves around like a roomba!"  and this pic (C)

 Everyone added Ally:  Minority Student Union (11+)

🕺 Day of Sloth +1 and Other Wild Shenanigans

From the moment we moved in together, extending almost a decade, my (then) wife and I hosted our Day of Sloth picnic.  Always the day before Labor (hence the name), it was the forced mashing together of our families, friends, and ultimately children.  

Amongst the plethora of food and activities was the annual Illuminati University (IOU) game.  After all the mundanes were gones, my friends would pile up one last wave of food before clean-up, and we'd head out the firepit with index cards and d6's for a game a Risus using recurring characters.

Many games were pre-blog, and the best example of a classic game of chaos was The Heresy of the Diminutive Pope. 

Even those the galas dried up from families with kids plus a lack of other attendees, there was always hope that a full-length IOU game could one day transpire... and the inspiration for it would be... Planet Mirrorball!

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A full length feature film that was inspired by the fantasy films of the 70's: Xanadu, Logan's Run, Flash Gordon, Heavy Metal and Tron

I only had a handful of notes on this placeholder blog post. The true plot, like in the movie, is inconsequential: 

• Funk Pirates 
• Neon Robots
• Roller Skating Disco Warriors (Roller Derby)

... and the all important question, "Do we include Butch Patrick (Eddie Munster)  Abe Vigoda?

We're overdue for a normal-sized Risus-IOU game during Monday nights. I might integrate some of those elements into that session.  Heck, I should put them all in the current Gamma World game.

Even without the formal Day of Sloth, there was still picnicking and grilling to be had.   My sister and her husband finally had their housewarming/10th wedding anniversary/her husband's 50th birthday party in their cozy backyard in the Manayunk section of Philly.  I correctly assume it was going to be an adult-soiree (and correct I was), so I went down solo.    They're one air conditioner short of having an attic gaming room to die for (complete with a double-turn murder staircase).   While there were some co-workers and neighbors, most of the cool folks I had last talked the wedding reception a decade earlier!  Still, with me in charge of a large vegetarian-focused grilled menu, there were plenty of Shadowrun, boardgames, Star Wars, and well-animated and completely odd encounter with Tony Shaloub. 

My weekend actually started with a Magic: Wilds of Eldraine Pre-Release Event at Sword in the Stone Games.  I enjoyed the fairy-tale theme of Throne of Eldraine, and when you pull this as your promo card:

#5 on my favorite card of the night list.

You can't help but smile.  

My experience in the pre-constructed/limited format is very dated.  Heck, it was dated the last time I participated in a prerelease set, 8 years, three store names, four store locations, and thousands of Magic card ago. 

My red/blue deck didn't fare as well as I hope, going a whopping 1-5-1, but my complimentary Set Booster I got was chock full of fun, and the commons may fill some gaps I have in my red/blue Papuer deck.

Waitaminute, Papuer?  ViscountEric's playing magic?   We'll discuss that later this week...   I have child Uber duties this morning,  yard work for my Mom this Labor Day, before we have Episode 33 of the Gamma World campaign tonight (Episode #0  drops Tuesday, October 3rd, right here!)

But as I review the last pre-release I attended, I will post my top 5 cards that I got (Syr Ginger is #5)

#4 - Johann, Apprentice Sorcerer 

I missed one or two opportunities to use the abilities properly, but it was a game-changer when he was out. 

#3 - Up the Beanstalk

I avoid newer stuff in most formats, win, lose, or draw, but this one at least goes into the evolving Treefolk Commander theme that's nowhere done.  

#2 - Water Wings

I pulled two from my pre-release kit packs and they showed up in every game, bailing me out. 

#1 Snaremaster Sprite

A modern-day Flying Man with added bonuses after the first few round.  I pulled two of these guys, and with a little help from Water Wings, forced my opponent to make a lot of hasty early-game decisions that I simply could not take full advantage of.    #1,2, and 3 all have a utility slot reserved for them in decks.  

#RPGaDay2023 - Day 24 - The Simplest RPG I Play

Day 24 of #RPGaDay2023 and I'm going around in philosophical circles.

For each day I'll be answering the question provided, and for fun, review how I answered a similar question during #RPGaDay a decade ago.  Scout's Honor, I have not peeked at the older answer.

Day 24's prompt is "Simplest RPG I Play"

This year's process is to go with your first impression, which is Risus - The Everything RPG.  

The criteria is "simple."  If my Monday night online game has no-shows, most of the time I will resort to Risus to make up characters and run something else from my archive of awesome.  Whether it's Illuminati University, Coffee Shop, or an impulsive game based on pulp serials and Terraforming Mars, having players think up four cliches  and some equipment is much easier than a full-sized RPG.

Shoutout to "Post-Match Interview" out of the The Ultimate Micro-RPG Book, edited by James D'Amato.  It is a half-step beyond an improv session, but I love to use it when we've waited too long for somebody to salvage a full session, or we want to wrap up early.  

Ten Years Ago Today:  Fun fact, ten years ago, the official question was "Most Complicated RPG Owned", and I gave respect and props for Fantasy Wargaming.    I'll also note here, that Day 7 of 2014, I named Risus the "Most Intellectual RPG Owned," because it can be conveniently simple, and also add on layers of complexity, if you like that sort of thing.

(Risus) Squirrely from KODT - #CharacterCreationChallenge

Day 27 of the #CharacterCreationChallenge and I fill in the holes of the games I would normally use.  

There's already a talking chimp, Mister Bipp, in my Risus - Illuminati University game, but there's always room in Risus for the most famous chimpanzee in gaming, Squirrely from Knights of the Dinner Table.  Weird Pete Ashton game store sidekick is a scene stealer, but is a more importantly a fleshed out character.  

Squirrely
Hyper-intelligent Chimpanzee, formerly of a US Government research facility (4)

Full-time gofer at Weird Pete's Games Pit (3)
Chain-Smoking Role-Player for hire (3)

Adequate in a pinch long-distance driver (2)

Equipment: Carton of cigarettes, lighter, keys to Weird Pet's Volkswagen mini-van.

There is an ulterior motive for posting stats of an existing entity.  After nearly two months I'm almost moved in and comfortable in my apartment.  Expect some rantsm, and a quick little tour, once this challenge is over and while #Zinequest is in full swing in February, but I'll start by posting my only prestigious piece of artwork on the wall near my computer. 

This is Jolly Blackburn's original concept art for Squirrely.  I got it as a freebie during one of Kenzer & Company's holiday grab bags offers, many moons ago.  People who ordered the random grab bags sometimes got extra product, cool swag like dice Kenzerco staff's dice, and in the coolest of cool, some original artwork made it out.  It sat in my office at work for nearly a decade until I took it to my new place, where is gets a proper spot over the Greyhawk Adventures poster from Dragon Magazine, and the true gaming bookcase,  updated shelfie forthcoming.  

👽(Risus) Dr Buckaroo Banzai 👽

As I explain many times on the blog, my blog drafts  are a repository of every cockamamie idea or concept I find on Twitter, other blogs, or the internet in general.  There are hundreds of future games, scenarios, ideas, and even awesome pictures waiting for a time to be used or implemented. 

One of those ideas was to stat out Buckaroo Banzai, and set it up for posting on any August 10th, the anniversary of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension's premiere.  

I didn't get around to doing it this year, and as I move posts forward into 2023 to work on, I made a ridiculous, forehead slapping realization.  I could have just started with Risus: The Anything RPG

I mean, Buckaroo Banzai is a perfect pulp, serial character, the hyperbole of cliches!

Dr Buckaroo Banzai

Brilliant Globe-Trotting Neuro-Surgeon (6)

Adventuring Half-American, Half-Japanese Physicist (5)

Rock Star with a Heart of Gold (5)

Test Pilot Breaking All the Rules (4)

I would love to just go down the list that he's always presented as "Physicist, neurosurgeon, test pilot, and rockstar," but in re-watching the movie, I realized that's he's far more competent as a neuro-surgeon than anything else, and perhaps the special effects of the time downplayed the incredible aptitude piloting the jet car across the 8th dimension.

At best, the Hong Kong Cavaliers and Blue Blaze Irregulars are single cliche characters in Risus, and competent henchmen with one skill boost in Savage Worlds, but we shall see!

(RISUS) Loren Stutts, Protector of Freedom and Community Standards

Early on during the pandemic, I ran some connected one-shots online: Bigg Melons in the Time of COVID and The Great Hall of COVIDiots, again using Risus for mechanics and Coffee Shop by James d'Amato for set-up.

I already used this photo multiple times for posts, but it warrants some stats. 

Loren Stutts, Protector of Freedom and Community Standards

Retired Navy Vet (Brown Water Vietnam) with a lot of free time on his hands (4)

State-Renowned Model Ship in a Bottle Hobbyist (3) 

Fledgling Internet Scholar (2)

Fervent protector and legal interpreter of individual freedom, personal rights, and medical research (1)

Loren's a good guy.  Always has been.  Church some Sundays, Salvation Army kettle every Christmas, and he participated in the Toys for Tots motorcycle run until his hip replacement failed and he was forced to sell his Harley.  

When COVID first hit, he tried to follow all the guidelines, but the were getting complicated.  However, the man simply could not stay at home and with help of a friend on an internet message board who believed in God, Firearms, and the links to the Gnomes of Zurich to financial institutions and barber shops all through Idaho, he was gifted an ingenious item.  A hat made out of the pool noodles gave him enough space to go down the aisles of local stores without everyone giving him dirty looks for not wearing a masks.  Strange looks, yes, but not dirty one.  

As the months wore on, Loren has attracted a new group of friends.  A bit rougher around the edges than his buddies he sees at the VA, but they drink the right beer, like the same music, and seem to agree with every word he says about the government's ridiculous response to the pandemic.

In truth, a sorcerer of chaos who happened upon Loren's posts on the internet, gifted him a Helm of Covfefe,  masked as a crazy mass of pool noodles.  The Helm slowly influences, then all-out mind controls people around the controller.   Loren has made mention about wishing some local government leaders and loudmouths would simply disappear.  He's yet to connect the dots and realize his new friends are fervent worshippers of him and have kidnapped, tortured, and even sacrificed some of the mentioned people to the Chaos Gods, and possibly the newest Chaos God, Loren himself. 

(RISUS) Barney Viglione, Necromancer/Loan Shark #CharacterCreationChallenge - Day 25

Barney Viglione

Necromancer with a Penchant for Wights (4)

Loan Shark with Deep Mob Ties (3)

Straight Laced Daytime Banker with Real Skeletons in His Closet (2)

Winger Cover Band Bass Player (1)

Barney doesn't LOOK like a necromancer.  Or maybe  his Wall Street fashion sense with slicked back hair and a gaunt look is too obvious for the casual observer to see. 

He runs one of the cookie cutter banks that clutter Main St.   He runs the regular spectrum of services, from savings accounts for the kids, to financial planning, the normal run of mortgages and loans.  He's always on the hot seat for his low volume of loans, but he is known that the loans and mortgages he writes NEVER default.  He's quite particular with whom he approves.  

For those who don't meet his strictest criteria, they immediately get offered his side gig, as Kip Malphetor, a wild-haired loan shark with mob connections.  As particular as he was providing legitimate loans, he would take any down and out soul (and a few defaulting on the real loans).  He and his loyal group of mob henchman were diligent in collecting payment, yet few folks were "roughed up" in the classical sense.  Kip would usually make a personal visit, and if the debt could not be paid in a satisfactory manner, he and the goons would kidnap the person, torture them mercilessly, and discard the body maliciously in a hidden spot only known to them.  

What the mob goons don't completely understand is that Barney/Kip is a necromancer of some power and import.  He purposely tortures the people within the guidelines of particular rituals, so when the bodies are carelessly discarded, they turn into wights.  He then uses his powers to retrieve them and force them under his command.  

He has dozens of these creatures under his command, and uses them to guard a secret vault underneath his bank's vault.  There, he cares for his own growing fortune, as well as a safe spot to store the mob's plentiful reserves (for a small fee, which further feeds his loan shark enterprise, or safely pays off the proper loans gone wrong, thus keeping his line of perfection intact.

Although he could easily create a giant army of skeletons and zombies, Barney/Kip is infatuated with wights and will do whatever is necessary to ensure that a corpse turns into a wight.

You could say he's a.... wight supremacist. 

Seriously though, I found this necromancer wight supremacist joke concept online with the last few years and threw it in drafts behind the scene for the blog. I may still run with the concept, either for IOU or a Canadian Cthulhu game.    It might actually have some legs.

(Risus) Flying Gary - #charactercreationchallenge - Day 12

 Day 12 of the 31 Day #CharacterCreationChallenge moves me to one of my favorite games, Risus.

Flying Gary

Multi-Faceted Pilot with a Stoic Countenance (4)

Pirate Re-enactor with a Cutlass for Every Emotion (4)

Trusty Navigator in a World Gone Mad (2) 

Self-Canning Pork and Beans Enthusiast (1)

Pilot's Cap (WITH goggles)

Cutlass 

Aircraft

Vintage Compass

Canning Supplies

It's a bit of an odd transition.  Flying Gary was my original TWERPS character, a simple pilot who needed to survive the zombie scenario to fly everyone to safety.  He had a few other adventures, picked up Sword-Fu, and we moved on to other games.  In a cliche-driven system like Risus,  I need to expand my his basic story a bit more.  

Rolltop Indigo: Risus For Sale

Over the last week I've noticed a series of tweets from author S. John Ross regarding the potential sale of Risus.  Some were quite succinct, while others hinted at darker undertones.  

Thanks to a recent post on his blog, Rolltop Indigo, there is no impending doom prompting this sale (no more so than this COVID-19 universe has doled out in recent memory).  It's appears to be a well-thought out personal and business decision, and I'm hoping someone with good intentions and a sizable wad of cash can make a more than reasonable offer to him.

(Risus) Taco Bear!

Whether or not we made it to the boat for our cruise, here's some quick content that's too good to wait for next year!

Taco Bear

Soul Feeding Taco Chef (4)

Innovative Judo Champ (3)

Care Bear Track & Field Jumps Veteran (2)

Mister Magoo Van Driver (1)

(Risus) Krug the Pug, Alien Psychic Manipulator

Most intelligence agencies on Earth that deal with aliens will only admit to one Remoolian residing on the planet.  Only the highest ranking directors in one or two the elite organizations that one their greatest failures is tracking a second Remoolian, Krug the Pug

Unlike the loyal Remoolian, that even assists Earth's defenses from time to time, Krug has brazenly eluded the proper authorities, choosing his targets wisely and keeping a power base that stays under the radar.  

He's been in operation for decades.  Arriving close to 50 years ago, Krug has developed type of psychic mind control ability.  It is unsure whether this power has been nurtured from his own brain, or is mechanically created with one of the many mind control devices throughout the galaxies.  

Krug focuses on developing human "pets" that can care for him in his Pug disguise, and provide him access to some from of power.  Most of these pets have either been in the entertainment industry, or were in the upper echelon of the social strata.  

Tracing his journey, his travels in the 70's and 80's involved old money, technocrats, and Hollywood filmakers, most notably a cameo in the sci-fi movie Dune.  

The last known "pet" of his was Alister Burke, an notable gay opera conductor in the Seattle with many social and celebrity connections ,who was under the Remoolian's control from as early as 2003 until his death in 2010.  Rumors have suggested that Krug has left Earth sometime in the last decade, but all trails have ended up cold.  

To better control his "pets" Krug has actively encouraged them to seek counseling and thereapy, and attends the sessions under the pretense or a service animal, even before such a concept was not commonly acceptable.  Through his pets sessions, he's come to understand that he is a narcissist and upon accepting his limitations, and working to improve himself, has prevented himself from spoiling a a number of plans. 

Krug the Pug

Rogue Remoolian with Psychic Powers (6)

Narcissistic yet Calculated Power Monger (3)

Middle-Aged Alien with a Bum Hip Portraying an Elderly Pug (2)

Fickle Kibble Aficionado (1)