(Kickstarter) Terror at Weinachten: A 5e Christmas Adventure

 Tim Krause has launched another Kickstarter!  Terror at Weihnachten: A Christmas Adventure: is a D&D 5e adventure for levels 7 and highter.  

From the Kickstarter itself:

Your party has been traveling in the wind and cold for many nights. You're freezing, cold, wet and - unfortunately - quite lost!

In the distance you see the first glow of candle light from what turns out to be Weihnachten Inn. Warming up over a pint of drink and a warm bowl of stew you learn that Weihnachten is not all that it seems.

Demons have been haunting the villagers and children for years, beginning every year around Christmas. For 20 dark days and nights, they terrorize the children in their sleep to the point where many stop speaking, their eyes vacant and staring.

And on the last night, the Demons always take a child.

Can your party help Weihnachten rid itself of the horror of the Demons before it is again too late? Can they help Weihnachten return to a more peaceful idyllic time.

A unique module, intended to be played in three sessions just prior to the Holidays.

And the best part yet is anticipated delivery of digital and physical rewards is slated for this December, and given his track previous track record, there's a good chance you might be able to run this before the holidays!

Happy Halloween 2020!

The Holy Grail of Data is (Partially) Unleashed

 Once the governor lifted the restrictions on non-essential businesses, I ran an ancient hard drive over to the local computer repair place, to attempt to pull some cryptic data.  I wasn't too interested in loading my old Winamp, rather I shot for my Hackmaster GM Toolkit and some of my Dice Baseball league data to be recovered.  

Months later, I finally have a jump drive in my hand, at least all my old Hackmaster stuff, plus a ton of Georic notes. 

After opening up two small files, I realize I have a number of edits in the Lost Dispatches of Feraso to change a few names, plus trying to figure out where the Viscounty of Sunfield needs to be placed.

I was also pleasantly surprised that Hackmaster GM Toolkit also had some miscellaneous files, including a write-up of the inaugural Day of Sloth picnic game of Risus - Illuminati University. New blog posts to follow!

The drive is beyond shot, staying on for only a few minutes before shutting down, so there is a limited window to pull data.  However, the shop kept the drive and promised to continue to pull more data off of it at no charge. 

It's a Mandalorian Holiday! Celebrate it With Your Family!

All Undead Matter, Regardless of the Cleric's Level

@tabletopinquirer

Ghostbusters Mega-Game

When can we return to conventions so we can play in these ridiculously oversized games for hours at a time???

Lost Dispatches of Feraso #99 - A Conversation with Mo

Dear Reader,

The Lost Dispatches of Feraso, the telling of all the tales of my AD&D table during the 90's, is effectively over.  All the stories have been told, retold, revised, or even re-envisioned as best I could.

There are a few more tales from Elsderth himself however, as casual onlooker, scheming powerbroker, or simply the Witch of the Nightwood Forest.  I advise you to read Ballad of the Pigeon God, or at least episode #1-15 of it, before delving into this final story.

4th of HexDec -  Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The great advantage of the Chateau d'Echelon for a stealthy visitor was the amount of overgrown coverage throughout the the estate.  This allowed Elsderth Millbottom a chance numerous place to hide and watch the goings-on of all the new visitors.  Most of the key figures had departed to Hydincall, to warn the King about the "Spider-People" and deaths of Lord Athelstane and Archbishop Adolphus, but also of the rescue Lady Iris and numerous other folks, some from just a few weeks ago, others trapped for hundreds of years.

Elsderth cared little for that, but there was one man, a brown-skinned, legless fellow who drew almost all of his attention:  Mohammed.   He appeared to be the wisest of these heroes' entourage, but to him alone had proved problematic.

Mohammed tended to travel with a group, so when Elsderth saw him moving into the vinyard for some horribly overdue pruning, he took his chance.  He found a spot with a good view, so Mohammed could get a good view of him before he emerged from the shadows, palms open and facing the legless man.

Elsderth made two steps toward Mohammed before he was stopped in his tracks by his words.

"What is your role in the village?"

"I'm its aging guardian for balance in this area?"

"And are we balanced after the events of the past week."

"As it matters to the world.  It's no worse than what I've seen before.  People only care more now because folks with fancy titles have been affected."

"How long have you been guardian?"

"Too long, my friend, I've always strove to help the people of this village, but perhaps my years, my service, or my laziness has allowed me to fail and discovering threats."

"And who would replace you in discovering and solving these threats, old man?"

"I was hoping your friends that brought you here would.  I'm pondering retirement, and as I was hoping you could provide me with some insight, being you are the teacher of Kane...

For the first time in the conversation, Mohammed looked up from his work, stared at Elsderth and let out a long, belly aching laugh.  He wiped a tear from his eye.

"You think I'm the teacher of Master Kane? Dear man, Kane is a fine, loyal man of great insight.  His mastery of elemental water amazes me, and our short talks on theology and philosophy have hopefully laid the seeds for many more.  I am the mentor, teacher, and friend of Echelon, wise in the ways of Tshang Kai Ching, what your kind might call an "Eastern" god of the oceans.

Elsderth let out a cathartic laugh that complemented Mohammed's.  At least it explained the ridiculous trident Echelon wielded, if not the pigeons. And elemental water had to be better than the elemental fire cults he fought over the years.

"Regardless of which person is your student, Master Mohammed, I implore you to bestow knowledge and wisdom regarding your friends.  Unlike some previous groups that my predecessors entrusted with power and responsibility, it appears this group wants a stable base to work from .  None of them ever purchased land and settled down.  None of them had a stake in the affairs of the Eding beyond fame and fortune."

"Echelon intends to turn this place into his sanctuary, for both he and his friends.  Some may travel, new friends shall appears, and all will be ready to defend this place, when the time comes.  Why do you plan on retiring now, guardian?"

"I've already traveled too far in my lifetime before I came to Eding.  I was supposed to retire into obscurity, perhaps be the wizened old codger giving swordplay tips to the youngest militia members, but this obligation...  I'm no too proud to say that I couldn't see anyone else taking up the role, and Akana knows I haven't found a replacement since."

"Akana? Wait? You're not one of the nature priests? Who are you?"

"Nature priests? .... the druids?  Yes and no.  The druids took care of this until they died off in this region.  Some non-religious folks relied on parlour tricks, superstition, and diplomacy to fill in their absence..."

"That makes sense, but who are you?"

"I am Sir Elsderth Greyhawk, of the family Millbottom from Feldkurton in the Viscounty of Verbobonc, in the Kingdoms of Ras-Prythax.  I am still a dutiful servant and scribe to the late Wilifrick, Viscount of Verbobonc, and his progeny thereafter.  I was the leader of the Order of Merit, an adventuring company that traveled the continent righting wrongs. I am still the Freigraff of the Totenlinden of Amberstoll, willing to determine and dispense justice from here to the outer reaches of the Weissmach. I was Baron of Greyhawk until I gave up my title and my family to avoid a fool's quest which I was very much against.  I slayed General Balfas and personally wield his blade, Betrayer.  I help destroyed the Dragon-Priest Sost and the Wizard Sazor.   I've received a point blank fireball and lived to tell about it.   I've stared down blood-thirsty jarls and man-eating dragons. I've defeated Cults of Tiamat and waylayed Temples of Evil Elementalists.  I have loved some, lied to others and gone on many quests, successful and otherwise.  I've been accused by others of false love, and helped others find love in other dimensional planes. "

"I have been Sergeant in the Eding militia, and served as the Witch of Alasku for the last decade."

"My name is Elsderth, and I'd like to go home and rest."

"Then my son, go forth and rest.  As some of Echelon's friends say, 'We got this'"

"Elsderth let out a huge breath, nodded to Mohammed and walked away, pausing for a moment to turn back and say one more thing."

"If your protege needs furniture for his Chateau, he should contact the halfling Merovec Puddinfoot in Elmshire.  Fantastic craftsman.  I'll be sending some of my furniture back to him as a I leave.  Be well Mohammed."

Fin

GM Notes:  There you have it, basically a rundown of my D&D campaigns in Georic from 1989-1999, with some bleed through into Ballad of the Pigeon.  The eyes and words of  Elsderth Millbottom are about as trustworthy as any adventurer's tale, so here's to hoping that most of this was accurate.

Elsderth fills in a number of plot holes that I've seen with sometimes three decades of hindsight, most notably is the complete and utter lack of mention about the Witch after Kane knocks on her door before visiting Elwyn's Sanctuary.  I was always more a fan of the Bard Games Compleat Spellcaster and the Witch class contained within, but thanks to the motivation for the druid Elswyth, I concocted a vague backstory for Alasku (but far more than I originally did), and set up the mentor-protege relationship for the Witch of Eding and how Elsderth ascended into it.

More importantly, I resolved where the Witch was after Kane's visit.  He just had enough, saw the heroes' return as a replacement as guardians of the village, and with Elswyth's divination, left for parts unknown.

I honestly don't know where a 70-something-year-old Elsderth goes....  Draloite and the slightly younger Druidess Elswyth?  See if the Bishop of Ferrand is still alive and friendly?  See if the Totenlinden of Amberstoll needs a new permanent Freigraff?  Retire to Hydincall or Feraso City?    Maybe he might even attempt to reconcile with his son, Baron Matthias, for his abandonment?

I can tell you one thing for certain.   In his final days in Eding, Elsderth seals up Witch's shack, for the next worthy Witch/Druid to appear, he will send his furniture by wagon to Merovec to resell (proceeds go to the skinny halfling fund), and he'll leave with three items:

• His books and journals.  How they ended up where they did and you were able to read the, I'll leave that up to you.
• His trusty sword, Betrayer. strapped to his back.
• And using a Dragonman Spear as a giant walking staff.

More stories from the World of Georic continue in Ballad of the Pigeon God.

(Kickstarter) Legions of Steel: Operation Anvil by Raybox Games

After much anticipation, the Legions of Steel: Operation Anvil Kickstarter is officially live!

The biggest change for the new edition isn't rules-related, it's figure scale.   The old figures were certainly in the 30mm range.  The new versions of the traditional figures are now 39mm.  That 100-year bump in the timeline has produce some evolutionary benefits for both UNE and the Machines.

Expansion Set - Recce Commandos, Predators, and Succobot

Expected delivery is June 2021

(Review) Filly Sized Follies for My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria

It's been a downtime for me running My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria.  The kid's schedules are still crazy and the my primetime  spots at conventions in the kid's track is cut short from COVID.  However, an order in need of padding from Miniatures Market was the perfect ticket to add a book from my want list.

Filly Sized Follies is a collection of three adventures for ponies levels 2-5.  Three different scenarios, three different settings around Equestria, but certainly the same quality straight out of the main rulebook.

Sky Arrow's Big Flight involves some sinister goings-on at a tryout for the famous Wonderbolts.

Cutie Mark Mystery centers around the ponies waking up to their cuties marks simply vanished!

The Secret of Starfall gets the ponies involves a great journey to the far North, a fallen meteorite, and a political conflict only outsiders can resolve.

All three adventures are solid concepts, but the continued delivery of the stories is what impresses me the most.  Each adventure is broken down into multiple parts, and each part is further fleshed out for both beginning GMs and appreciative experienced GMs.

This is not a dungeon crawl with ponies, nor is it some overfilled sourcebook.  The author, James Fleming, and the editorial staff lay out each scene with just enough helpful detail, reinforcing NPC personalities and motives, and carefully scoping out options and alternatives.  Does a bad pony go to (pony) jail, can they be rehabilitated outside a cell, or what if the pony character don't really care.  Options and hints at solutions are included.  Even small sidebars involving how to run a mystery game, or how a GM can handle the passing of time are small morsels of wisdom even the most veteran GM can savor.

My only complaint about the book is that the 66-page softcover has the same dimensions as other softcovers River Horse has produced, yet it feels a little unwieldy... like a Giant-Sized comic.  Given the old school comic feel of the cover art, it might just be my nostalgic sensibilities.

I haven't run any of the adventures, so despite their initial look, there may be issues (although I doubt they are severe).  However, with hints at how to adjust each scenario to handle higher and lower levels, I'm confident it should handle most pony-lovers at the table.

With that I give Filly Sized Follies  four and a half gnomes on the Gaming with the Gnomies 5-Gnome scale.

I'm Surprised I Know What This Is...

 ... and scared that's it's for sale.

(Painting) Legions of Steel G1 Nightmare Security Patrol Horde

 In celebration of the Legions of Steel: Operation Anvil Kickstarter launching next Monday, the increased workload at home and the office, and  the escalation of the kitten chaos, forcing me to salvage my painting bench, I figured knocking out the Nightmares I got from the previous LOS Kickstarter was a good idea for this week. 

As much as the classic "Terminator" scheme is more than sufficient, I figured out some splash of color is necessary to stand out. a bit more on the table.   

Standard Nightmares like the ones pictured make up the grunts of the Machine armies.  Armed with Deadbolt Launchers and Nachtmacher Grenades are more than sufficient for attacks and defenses, limiting the enemies options and allowing larger, tougher units the space to maneuver.  

These figures are without a command figure, usually an Assault Fiend of varying level.  They still have a link to the Machine network, but would be given rudimentary commands, such as patrolling a perimeter, or guarding a particular room in a low-risk area.  The command figure would have a stronger transmitter to send signals further and faster, so a group of these Nightmares would have the slowest signal and the slowest priority sending communications.  

There are some more Nightmares in the queue, from a recent eBay purchase of painted figures.   Those, as well as some of the G1A and G1B variants will be painted using examples out of the old Planetstorm tabletop rules.

Basketball Diaries and other Sundry Items: I had my furnace explode Saturday night.  Relief valve and the tank were both bad,  creating a small flood in the basement and a sauna-like environment.  Luckily I got things shut off and began cleaning up most of it before I went to bed.  As of this writing, the basement is dry, and nothing gaming wise was affected by the sauna.  

Kitten Chaos:  That being said, these kittens are no longer kittens, they are small cats with terrifying thunder and grievous lightning.  The mini-flood and moisture issue has given me a great reason to pull shelves away from the walls, wipe everything down, and most importantly sweep underneath everything.  

The cleaning rabbit hole I've gone down has allowed me to reorganize the painting queues for projects, taking up less space, and focusing on my three painting goals each month:  At least one unit of something, at least one individual figure, and at least one Gnomish Space Marine project (although I'm allowing Gnome Wars).  

Project 350:   523 (352/171) down from 526 (355/171). Only behind on this week's actual play.  I hope to get the Halloween game done this weekend, and that would fill material through the remainder of October.  November will be a crazy month at work, and I've already set up my projects to reflect that.  There's only nine pre-scheduled posts this year, and barring some good post-election gaming memes, I only see myself getting 4 or 5 draft projects finished.  Barring anything unusual, Project 350's constant goal of 350 drafts and pre-scheduled posts COMBINED might be around 500(!), the lowest it has been since before the Pandemic.  

Sure, I might have a hoarding issue with having my Christmas Day and Easter posts ready to go a decade early, but I also have over a year's worth of Tuesday RPG Actual Play in the bank. 

Next:  Really, the mythical Nauvoo Legion is getting paint.  Zombie Survivors and perhaps some rogue Space Dwarfs are on the docket.

Ill-Tempered Gnomes.... in Cans!

 Living in Pennsylvania, I get access to a lot of great beers.   Any state that has access to Yuengling Black and Tan, with the seasonal release of Mad Elf just a few more miles away is a place I can reside.

If I love Mad Elf, perhaps I can grab a winter place in Oregon for access to Ill-Tempered Gnome Winter Ale, from Oakshire Brewing.

Similar to Mad Elf with Troegs in production, Ill-Tempered Gnome is an annual winter release from Oakshire.  

Quoting directly from newschoolbeer.com :

Ill Tempered Gnome American Brown Ale has been an Oakshire winter-staple since 2008, and this year will be found in 16oz. 4-packs across the Pacific Northwest and Colorado. A popular winter warmer treat, Ill Tempered Gnome is welcome respite from the less malty hop bombs that have come to dominate the year. Previously only in 22oz. bottles, this year’s new 16oz. cans feature a fresh and festive label design with Gnorm, the ill-tempered gnome, glaring at you, and daring you to drink this malty and roasty ale.

Deep amber brown in color with a bouquet of pine and caramel, this Ill-Tempered Gnome finishes at 6.8% ABV and is sure to warm the soul. Gnorm encourages you to escape your grumpy side with this comforting American Brown Ale that reveals layers upon layers of toasty malts and resinous hop flavors. Ill-Tempered Gnome will be available on draft and in package starting this Thursday, October 22nd at Oakshire’s Eugene Public House and Portland Beer Hall.

Alas, I think a road trip to at least Colorado for the closest place to find this beer is not in the cards for this year.   Orders with the company are pick-up only at their Eugene Public House and Portland Beer Hall.

Generic Halloween Store is Too Generic

 I know what the packaging says, but give it a good look and tell me that's not a mask for Ted Koppel.

Nightline cosplay is strong this Halloween season. 

(Indiegogo) Candy Heart d6 Dice Set by Steve Jackson Games

 Sometimes people forget that Kickstarter is not the be-all, end-all of crowdsourcing sites. 

Sometimes, Indiegogo's arrangements are far more advantageous for the creators, take for instance, Steve Jackson Games' Candy Heart d6 Dice Set. 

Cool concept, 19mm dice in candy heart colors with a classic candy heart phrase where the one should be: "Love," "Hugs," and "XOXO."

And possibly ready for Valentine's Day.  

The Mike Lung Gallery #76 - Who Dares Enter... the Hippodrome!

Lost Dispatches of Feraso #98 - Deception and Prophecy

Dear Reader,

The Lost Dispatches of Feraso, the telling of all the tales of my AD&D table during the 90's, is effectively over.  All the stories have been told, retold, revised, or even re-envisioned as best I could.

There are a few more tales from Elsderth himself however, as casual onlooker, scheming powerbroker, or simply the Witch of the Nightwood Forest.  I advise you to read Ballad of the Pigeon God, or at least episode #1-15 of it, before delving into this final story.

...

1st of HepDec, 1070  Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The wedding to Lord Athelstane and Lady Iris is just over a week away, and I for one, am sick of it already.  Expense spent by everyone, and the great effort expended by the whole village looks to be a waste of time!  It's not as if they are all invited!

....

8th  of HepDec, 1070 Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
A last second change! The wedding has been moved from Athelstane's Manor House to the Village Green!  All are invited, although only the dignitaries and local officials will have seats!

...

14th of HepDec, 1070 Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The various dignitaries and other pompous VIPs have made a mess of the village.  They've overwhelmed the Blue Wizard, and they've set up tents up and and down the Manor Road to spend the next few days in.  At best it looks like a disorganized joust, at worst it's a misguided circus.

I, for one, shall don the visage of the Witch and view from the shack. Far easier and far safer.

....

15th of HepDec, 1070 Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
...
Just a thought, but there was no mention of Archbishop Adolphus coming to Eding to conduct the ceremony, either by the villagers or the guests, who should have passed the massive caravan coming from Hydincall.  And yet, like magic, it arrived just before dusk, to add even more misery to these events.

...

16th  of HepDec, 1070 Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Today was the worst day in the history of Eding.

The marriage between Lord Athelstane and Lady Iris appeared to be ready for a traditional and milquetoast production, but one attendee violently objected to the proceedings.

It was that Sir William of Arinka, the same fellow who had been hired to clean up the alleged mess that Kane, Echelon the Pigeon-Lover, and Velandro had left.  He showed no mercy to the militia and hired guards as he made his way to the stage.

Soon after, Kane's crew showed up... and quite alive.  They at least had the common decency to scream "Stop the Wedding" as they engaged the Archbishop's guards.

William leapt onto the stage, and with a single stroke, slew Lady Iris!  But then, her body began to contort and transform into some hairy arachnid form?   Imposter!  Other attendees, including the Archbishop and all his entourage, seemed to willingly transform, and the entire Village Green descended into a melee.

Until the green-skinned man cast a single spell.

I don't know where Kane's company found "Kannex," but he is, by far, the most powerful mage I have ever witnessed.  Even Thendara Wandsregal could not generate a fireball so big it enveloped the entire Village Green, the trading post, and even the Blue Wizard Inn!  Dozens perished in the explosion, but for every two innocent deaths, there was a dead arachnid man near them, and survivors were further transitioning into that spider form.

I did manage to slay a few fleeing spider-folk, which I will investigate further.

Within an hour, hundreds were dead, including Lord Athelstane, whose body remained quite human after death.  I discarded my witch outfit and hobbled down the hill as Old Elsderth, waiting to hear more...

This William character wasn't just a knight, He was Prince William the Scarlet, Paladin of Akana, Knight of the Spiral Hawk, and Crown Prince of the Kingdom of Aragain!    On his journeys, he had encountered these spider-beings trying to usurp power in Aragain, Crosedes, and elsewhere, and he had credible evidence to believe one of the two getting married was an imposter.

The only weakness they seemed to have was that the people they were dopplegangers were, needed to be kept alive.  Kane's group realized they knew of such a place to hide the originals, and after two days of rest and magical healing, were off again.

20th  of HepDec, 1070 Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
I penned a letter to Elswyth, informing her of the deception and asking for guidance.  How did I miss this great deception?    Am I too old for these duties?  Is there time for someone to replace me?

22nd of HepDec, 1070 Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Elswyth responded to my letter!

Do not despair, my dear Elsderth.  The ancient prophecy of the people of Alasku, before the Ancien, is well into motion.  Ancient weapons of antiquity will be needed to fight the scourge that is coming.  The Druids Grove interprets this legend one of two ways: 

We guardians of the world shall only maintain the balance, regardless of its outcome.  

We guardians need to let a new tide of good assume our roles to overpower evil.  

If I follow the second guidelines, if there are those who wish to protect your village, let them.  Your service has been noted, and at your age, you would help little during armageddon.  As your mentor and dear friend, I implore you to consider retirement, and to specifically flee Eding.  

Your service for the balance Guya demands is over.  The time for heroes is here.  You may leave your post and return home.

I appreciate your correspondence, your wit, and your wisdom.  You have a place here in Draloite if your home no longer welcomes you back.

-Elswyth, Druidess of Draloite.

30th of HepDec, 1070 Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Our heroes have succeeded!

Far up in the mountains was a secret lair of these "Spider-People" and within the lair were dozens of individuals who had been kidnapped and replaced.

Lady Iris lives!  Apparently she was kidnapped during last year's lizardmen attack.  That does explain the sudden courtship with Athelstane.

Iris' dad is alive?  Named Heirylat, he had been long gone before my arrival to Eding, but an awkward reunion it has been.

And after an equally longer absence the popular halfling mayor A Warren Corkbarrel was rescued! No word on where his doppleganger ended up, as he never appeared in the halfling villages after 1052.

31st of HepDec - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The heroes have accompanied Iris to Hydincall to make a full report to King Nevin.   Prince William is in charge and is actively helping with the building of the town and the healing of the injured.  He's not the guardian we want, but we need him to protect us....

I do believe the heroes brought another person back from the logging village of Lansluck, a very brown-skinned man, bald, and most noticeably missing his body from below the waist.  I've ascertained that his name is Mohammed, and being from the East as well, might be the teacher to Kane.  While the rest are gone, I shall quietly inquire with him if Kane and his friends can be the trusted guardians the prophecy demands, and if I can finally rest.

Next: #99 - A Conversation with Mohammed

(Savage Pulp) #3.9 The Swedish Museum of Antiquities

After failing to save their friend, and famed archeologist, Maja Millie from getting kidnapped by cultists, our heroes only had a few clues to work on.  From the interrogated survivors, they ascertained that the cultists had forced her to read an ancient Chinese scroll for them.  Unfortunately for the cultists, they had not obtained said scroll yet and they knew of the location were this might be hidden.

The Swedish Museum of Antiquities, outside of Stockholm.  

The Swedish Museum

Famed Swedish Adventurer, Nils Lingonberry and Aviator, Ted Mosby, had lost their friend, and with the help of timely arrival of Lord Jon-Smyth Cuppenbrush, hopefully could get more clues as to the whereabouts of Maja Millie and stop the cultists from obtaining the scroll.

Our Heroes

 The cultists were out in force, and led by a senior underling with minor powers in the dark arts!                                

The Cultists

A complete wild card that night were the Russian Sailors, led by the menacing Keptin Kaputin.  The bare chested brawler of the high seas had acquired a new Soviet era propaganda android, or "Russian 'Bot" to help them steal the scroll for their own nefarious purposes.  If the Russians have made it to Sweden, they must be up to no good.

Keptin Kaputin and the Russian Sailors

Few questioned what would happened if anyone encounter the museum curator, much less is the curator had the power to actually stop anyone. 

In the dead of night Our Heroes kept low and fast, sprinting to the rear of the museum, were rumors had it a secret door had been installed.

The Russians sensing the Heroes movement, moved over their staging grounds to investigate.  

"Ripe watermelon, this late in season, something is wrong my friends"

The cultists were also aiming at finding the secret back door, but a few stragglers slowed the process.

"Guys, FOCUS.  There are evil things to do!"

The cult commander quickly some the secret device, hidden in a tree, to open up the hidden door. 

A-ha!  I love that band!

With that, the cultists seized the initiative and stormed the museum, damaging displays, destroying priceless relics, all in the search of the mystic scroll.

Turning from watching his minions run into the building, the cult commander was met with a hail of bullets from the trusty revolvers of Lord Jon-Smythe Cupinbrush!

The cultists quickly split up and searched each display for the hidden scroll. 

The cult commander stood firm and fired harmful hexes at the barrel chested Englishman.

Take on Me!

But alas, cult commander didn't meet his doom at the smoking guns of the English gentleman, but at the sneaky maneuvers of Ted Mosby, Aviator, who shot him in the heart!

Not realizing their leader was dead, the other cultists dutifully followed orders....

A plot point to be determined later... acheived!

Until finally, one of the cultists found the scroll, hidden in a fake hollow tusk.  

"Hmmm... This paper-mache elephant looks out of place with these other displays."

Lord Cuppenbrush carefully followed the outside wall of the museum, but his stealth was quickly countered by a cultist and a large shotgun! 

*Click*

*Click*

With a last bullets in his revolver, the Lord gunned down the ammo-less cultist.

Meanwhile, a resident of the museum, who was certainly NOT the curator awoke among the commotion going one... He (?) was not amused.

"Need... coffee"

The first cultist investigating the storage room was met with a quick demise. 

After regaining their wits, Our Heroes dove into the complex, mopping up all the remaining cultists.

Well, all the cultists, save one... who escaped out the front doors

Swedish Adventurer Nils Lingonberry spied the scroll on the ground and dashed over to get it.  Unfortunately, this put him in the slow, methodical path of the mummy!  

His friends, Lord Cuppenbrush and Ted, may not be getting Christmas cards this year, as they abandoned their friend as they dashed out the door. 

Pi Yimminy!

The mummy injured the Nils, but not before a very lucky shot seem to wound the creature.  But a further fight was not in the cards this evening, as the Swede, enveloped by fear made a mad dash towards the door.  Unable to keep pace with the scrambling Nils, the mummy threw its arms forward and its wrapping unfurled, trying to entangle the Swede. The ends of the wrapping brushed up against Nils, but he was too far away for them to wrap him up.  

And with that, Mr Lingonberry escaped the mummy's clutches.  His friends outside were not so lucky with the Swede's multi-lingual tirade he beset upon them.  

Scroll in hand, and a chance to search the cult commander's body outside of the museum, Our Heroes, discovered a few things.  

1. The scroll was one of the pathways to infinite power. 
2. Another pathway to infinite power was to sacrifice someone, so, in spite of the heroes' success, Maja Millie was certainly still  in danger.
3. The cultists secret lair was somewhere at "Dulen av Gull"

Nils looked puzzled. "Gode Gud!  The good news is that she's somewhere in the Valley of Gold! "

Lord Cuppenbrush looked even more confused, "Where the bloody hell is the Valley of Gold... and what's the bad news?"  

"None of these notes on the cult leader are in Swedish or English.... "

"We are dealing with Norwegian Cultists!"

So what of the Russians you may ask?   They certainly had diabolical motives that night, but Keptin Kaputin through it wise to investigate the ruckus they had heard at the farm, and realizing others were trying for the scroll as well, thought it prudent to stake out the area and ambush the surviving party.  

Except the ones with the scroll didn't come back the same way.  Soon, the sailors drew sleepy and fell asleep on the haystack.  

Lucky for them, the Russian 'bot was scanning for voices in the area, picking up Lord Cuppenbrush's loud question, "Where the bloody hell is the Valley of Gold... " so they had a new lead to follow up on...

GM Notes:  After another dry spell, the third season of the Pulp "Egypt" game works its way closer to completion, thanks to the girls' basketball coach and our friend, Mia.  She conducted a few workouts in the basement for the girls and was intrigued at all the figures, completed and otherwise, on my painting bench.  She asked for a game, and while any of the final episodes were better for a beginner, this was the board set up on my dining room table for a week prior.  While girls goofed around with their groups (evident by the Russian's inaction), Mia tried to figure out the spirit of the game.  Given the nail biter at the end (Nils beat the mummy's roll by 1), I think it was successful. 

I think it should also be noted that this was the first time my wife joined in on one of the miniature-based games.  She'll occasionally jump into a more traditional family night game, but nothing role-playing or miniatures-wise.  I gave her the role (and rolls) of the mummy for the nail biting escape.  

Inspired by Neil at Toy Soldiers and Dining Room Battles.  The actual play of the scenario can be found here.  Everybody needs a Heroquest board, old or new, they can be so versatile. 

Next: #3.10 - Where is the Valley of Gold?

Variant Rules for Russian Gnomes

I can't imagine it's been years since the Russian gnomes for Gnome Wars came out, followed up by the Russian Bear Cav.

The rules for Russians were pretty sweet... if you were playing them.  Doubly furry armored beasts with blunderbusses... and that's just the bears. 

More than seven years ago, intrepid correspondent, friend of the blog, and prior to his award-winning GM days, Mike Lung had devised some variant rules to pull them back into classic Gnome Wars format (ditching the greatcoats), and throwing in some deadly fun for all sides:

Russians

Infantry Movement
Maximum movement allowance for all Gnomes is 12 inches per turn.

Firing

Rifle  (1d6)
1” to 12”                      3,4,5,6
13” to 24”                    4,5,6
25” to 36”                    5,6

Pistol   (2d6)
1” to 6”                        3,4,5,6
7” to 12”                      4,5,6

Light Cover: -1 on firing roll to hit. Hard Cover: -2 on firing roll to hit.

Any Gnome that fires during their movement must pay 6” of movement allowance. So a figure may fire and then move 6”, or move 6” and then fire. The figure may not move 3”, fire, and move 3”.

Hand-to-Hand

Figure Die for Melee

Officer                                                        8 sided
Regular Infantry with Rifle                        6 sided
Regular Infantry with Sickle and Hammer 8 sided
Fabergé Egg Grenadier                               6 sided
Priest-Medic and Artillerymen                   6 sided

The player who initiates the H-to-H combat determines which figures engage which.
Figures must match 1-1 before matching them 2-1; you cannot have greater than 2-1.
Hand-to-Hand combat will occur when opposing Gnomes move within 2” of each other. All Gnomes within 3” of the melee are ‘sucked in’ and will join the fight.

Special Rules
Officers
Russian infantry will not advance unless there is an officer present and alive.

For the Mother Land!
Whether it is because of their patriotic love of their home land or vodka induced fatalistic depression, Russian gnomes are known to be stubborn and tenacious fighters on the defense. When defending in a close order formation Russian infantry receive a plus +1 to their melee die roll. Figures must be no more than 1” apart and two or more ranks deep, and must not have moved that turn. Also, while in this formation Russian infantry will defend to the last gnome and does not have to take a morale check.

Priest
At the end of the turn the Priest can help the wounded and dying by a preforming the last rights ritual over the fallen gnome. He can move 18” total with it taking 3” of movement to help the other gnome. The priest canmove and help gnomes until the 18” is used up. Roll 1d8 and on a roll of 5,6,7 or 8 the gnome is revived and can rejoin the battle. If he fails, the gnome is dead and his spirit has moved on to better place.

Fabergé Egg Grenades
True Fabergé Eggs are beautiful works of art. It is said that each contains a unique, wondrous and powerful clockwork creation. These are rarely found on the battlefield. These true Fabergé Eggs can only be used by a special detachment of the elite Guard regiments and will require special, unique rules. However, much more common are cheaply made knock off Fabergé Eggs. They are still beautiful and very heavy. They use the following table:

Fabergé Grenade Hit Table
Within 8” Automatic
Over obstacle 3,4,5,6
Into door/window 4,5,6
Fabergé Grenade notes: Grenadiers can target one figure. The effect is immediate.

Shuvalov’s Secret Borscht Howitzers
Russians can be equipped with special artillery guns. The nature of these guns is a carefully guarded national secret. When not on the battlefield, the Russians keep the barrels covered to hide these guns from spying eyes. In battle, these guns may fire shells at long range as a normal mortar. However, at close range, these guns may fire their special borscht soup canister rounds that spray their opponents with deadly, boiling hot beet soup!

0”-12”                             3,4,5,6  - 4 dice per crewman (max of 3 crew)*
13”-24”                           4,5,6     - 4 dice per crewman (max of 3 crew)*
36”-48”                           5,6         - 3” Explosive Diameter.**
Over 48”                         6            - 3” Explosive Diameter.**

*Catastrophic Soup explosion.
When the howitzer shoots its special Borscht Soup canister shells, there is a chance that something will go horribly wrong. Reroll every “1” that was rolled to hit and total them up. If the total for that turn is 12 or greater, gun is explodes. The gun is destroyed. Place a 3” Explosive Diameter on the gun, any figure within that diameter  are killed. The hits inflicted on the enemy from the shot are not counted.

**Deviation:
 For Direct Hits use Spinner. Shot will deviate 1d6-1”
 If the roll to hit is a 1 or 2, the shot is a dud or airburst and has no effect.
 If the roll to hit is >2 and a miss, use the spinner. Shot will deviate 2d6”.

Russian Bear Cavalry
Bear Cavalry Movement
Maximum normal movement allowance for Bear Cavalry is 12 inches per turn. When charging, bear cavalry receives a 1D8 additional charge bonus.
Bears don’t jump. So bear cavalry do not follow the standard jumping over obstacle rules. However, may move throw a light cover or low lying obstacle (i.e. fence, shrub, ditch) without penalty. Also, their movement through  the obstacle will create a 1” path

Cavalry Carbine (1d6)
1” to 6”               3,4,5,6
7” to 12”             4,5,6
13” to 24”           5,6

Light Cover: -1 on firing roll to hit. Hard Cover: -2 on firing roll to hit.

Carbines may be fired from bear back without any deduction to the normal movement allowance.
Carbines may not be fired when charging. Firing on the same turn as moving is an additional -1 to hit.


Hand-to-Hand

Figure Die for Melee
Cavalry Mounted on Bear                        10 sided +2
Cavalry Officer Mounted on Bear            10 sided +3
Cavalry Musician Mounted on Bear         10 sided +2

Bears do not receive an addition melee bonus for charging. They always use the above melee values.
Hand-to-Hand combat will occur when opposing Gnomes move within 2” of each other. All Gnomes within 3” of the melee are ‘sucked in’ and will join the fight.

Russian Bear Cavalry Special Rules
Russian Bear Cavalry moves 12” per turn. Riders may shoot their carbines from their saddles as long as they are not charging into battle.

Grumpy Bears. Because bears are unpredictable, Russian Bear Cavalry is hard to control
Every turn bear cavalry attempt to move roll 1d6.
 1=bears are distracted, no movement this turn,
 2-6=move as normal.

If the Bear Cavalry is shot at, on its next move roll 1d6.
 1=bears are confused, no movement this turn,
 2-5=move as normal.
 6=bears are enraged and charge 18” toward enemy shooting at it until it makes contact.

Honey Obsession.
If there is honey on the table, the bears will smell it. Roll 1d6, before the unit moves.
 1=bears smell the honey and must move 12” every turn directly towards the nearest honey. They will fight anything in their path including allies until they reach the honey.
 2-6=move as normal.

Thick skinned. Bears have very thick hides, every time a bears take casualties; they get a 1d3 saving throw per casualty.
 1-3=bear take no damage
 4-6=bear take casualty as normal.

I hope somebody can take this variant and test it out, even in our COVID world.  It seems to strike a better balance to the other nationalities.  The other option is a higher point cost, and unless they become rare, that's a not a good thing for Brigade Games.  Who wants to cast $4 minis you only need 10 of?

Feedback appreciated in the comments or on the Gnome Wars page on Facebook.

(Kickstarter) Junior Townsfolk & Villagers by Midlam Miniatures

Midlam Miniatures has launched yet another Kickstarter, this time Junior Townsfolk & Villagers in 28mm.

Mouslings of Unusual Size?

For much of October I've been pulling together pre-scheduled material to keep things interesting while I keep my sanity together by a thread at work. 

Part of the process was going through a pile of correspondence with Intrepid correspondent, Friend of the blog, and AWARD WINNING GM Mike Lung. 

Years ago he sent me a link to this fantastic (and fun) display of mouslings from ReaperCon 2011.

Mousling Army_01 - Modeler Unknown - Picture by Mckenna35

The Mousling "Spinning tanks" and the basket of the balloon make my day.  

(Painting) Gnomish Space Marine Light Mortar Team

The truly busiest time of the year has descended upon my life, but that doesn't mean I may or may not be painting on these mandatory (and useless) 7am calls for an 8am-8pm operation.  

My Gnomish Space Marine Light Mortar was part of the Planetary Defense Force Starter Set from the Sandstorm Wars Kickstarter.  The Kickstarter was poorly executed, but the figures are very nice.  

It's a small victory, but it does fulfill my pledge to paint a "unit/squad/group" for my Gnomish Space Marines for October, and a head start for the November pledge.  Figures like Donnie "The Smuggler" Riddlebottom might be part of the universe, but I'm counting towards the "Special/Individual figure" goal of at least one per month.   

Of course, I've also slapped a "Full Unit" goal every month as well.  My personally infamous Nauvoo Legion is a roll-over from the last month (and the one before that... an thee one before that) but anything with more than ten common figures will count.  The GSM could qualify, but I'm thinking of the Zulu boxed set I have in storage, more gnomes, or I'd even qualify some micro-armor/OGRE/Battletech if I got around to it.  

Big anniversary gift (that wasn't my wife's usual arrangement of beer to me) was the arrival of the Coasters for the Party Kickstarter from Steve Jackson Games.   It was quick, it was cheap, and I slapped on some glow-in-the-dark Illuminati dice for fun.  

Basketball Diaries:  We've survived a relatively calm Fall with dance and flag football.  Now is the crazy month, as the girls complete together in not one, but two "School Team" leagues at two local AAU programs.   There's about 60-70% overlap between the two teams, but two different coaches make things interesting.  Best yet, I'm just a parent required to drive them around.  

Project 350:  526 (355/171) from 527 (354/173). The wife is working this weekend, and with a game that has literally been set up on the dining room table since Sunday, I swear upon the graves of my enemies, at least one game gets done!

Next: We're in the second half of the month already, and the Halloween game must be played, especially since the special minis arrived at the house... from the roller skating rink?

(Kickstarter) Space Scoundrels RPG

Game designer Thom Wilson has launched another Kickstarter for Space Scoundrels - A Not Too Serious Science Fiction RPG.

From the Kickstarter page:

Created as a one-shot for an evening of fun gaming, Space Scoundrels turned into a full role-playing game when players wanted to play it more than once. Striving to keep the rules as light as possible (and to keep a lot of the heavy science out of it), Space Scoundrels has evolved into an 28-page rule book filled with simplified game mechanics and optional rules.

Although serious fans of the science-fiction genre may enjoy Space Scoundrels, this game is truly targeted at less serious players who'd rather get into trouble, turn on their acquaintances, and end up with all the loot in an evening of lying, cheating, and stealing.

Three simple pledge levels:  pdf only, pdf and print on demand, and pdf, print on demand, and a thank you in the book.  Nothing over $13.

(Risus IOU) - Where the Hell is Duane?

Let's set one emphatic thing straight: Illuminati University (IOU) had nothing to do with COVID-19.  In fact, it's economically hampered by the virus, with agents from C.T.H.U.L.H.U. rushing back in time to correct things from lowering the ArchDean's stock values.

Still even with the a larger drop-out rate and extra IT demands for online learning, the ArchDean were the revenue shortfalls could be made up....  Student Health Services.  COVID-related medical bills could dwarf the student loans they had already rolled over for the six years it took to obtain their Bachelor's Degree.

And play their cards right and the Mortuary majors would have a lot of new subjects for their labs.

Keith Stone and Milktruck Mastadon were still on campus, sitting in the basement of the dorm, waiting for the fellow members of their study group for their class, Radically Collaborative Patterns in Instant Mashed Potatoes. 

Part of the same study group. already in the dorm kitchenette:

Hubert, a talking goldfish in a bowl, walking around in mechanical apparatus. Majoring in Chilean Fencing.

Bob Evans, prior to his years as Sausage King of West.

Missing was their final member, Duane.  Most importantly, he was responsible for study notes.

Bob Evans and Miltruck began experimenting Spudratic Equations on the stove in the dorm kitchenette, putting together an American equivalent of Bangers and Mash.

Milktruck, Keith, and Hubert went upstairs to the 3rd floor of the dorm

Reaching Duane's room, Keith mistook the plastic on the door for new fangelled beads and poked his head inside.

He was surprised to see this:

What are you doing?  This is a secure location!!!

"The door was technically open."

"Where's Duane?"

"Duane is no longer with us."

"Where is he?"

"He's been sent back to Wuhan."

Keith couldn't use his smooth moves, they were all dudes, but one of the staff, with a nametag of Li was willing to hold up Duane's notebook so they could take pictures of it.

The notes started in pencil, and devolved into jagged red Sharpie that had bled through the paper.  In fact the red Sharpie had bled through another paper onto those pages.  

It was hard to make out, but Keith Stone surmised three things:

(1) Duane's family took a lot of road trips. (His dad drove a bus.)
(2) They were all obvious murderous foreigners (because they ate Cup of Noodles).
(3) Wuhan was a bitchin' place to live.

"Did he get infected with Anthrax?"  Milktruck asked.

Li sprayed him in the face with the decontaminate?

Keith chimed in, "Waitaminute, is his family responsible for the China Virus?"

The biohazard crew just shook their heads...

Knowing what they learned, the did the smart thing and returned to the basement to continue their study group.

Milktruck was completely lost, reading the Chinese menu, while Keith kept pointing out obvious facts that won't be on the test.   Distracted, they called in some dumplings, soup, and some spare ribs for Hubert.

Five minutes later, there was a knock at the door of the study room.  Entering the room was one of the biohazard crew, holding a Chinese food order.

"Dude, you might not want to eat this, everything's probably contaminated."

Oddly enough, he took off his facemask.  The afro that could be seen through the visor turned out of be green.

"I'm Brock.... Brock Li.

"Dude, do you sing with the talking tomato and pickle?"

"Man, don't group me with those guys, the only people who like that are Jesus freaks and sexual perverts."

"How did you get a job working on the Biohazard Squad?"

"It's my assigned student job.  If you find Duane, tell him his room is cleaned from his explosive flatulence."

"Waitaminute, how'd you get our Chinese?"

"Some shady looking chinese guy was walking down the stairwell. He gave it to me and  didn't ask for money."

After eating Chinese and giving up on studying, everyone went to bed....

FAST FORWARD TO THE EXAM

The four surviving members of the study group exited the lecture hall, confident that they probably didn't fail.

Outside the building was Duane!

Duane

"Sorry I bailed dudes.  I had a bad batch of fish.  Kept me knocked out for awhile.  I knocked my easel over for my art class, we're in our brown phase so all that paint got everywhere."

"Sorry I bailed out, but that's why I sent the free Chinese on study night..."

"What do you mean?"

"Dudes, you don't remember anything about me, do you?  I work at the Chinese restaurant."

"Is it a family business?"

"No you racist twit, I'm Filipino!!!"

"Sorry...."

"Anyway, I'll never eat Chinese Herring from the cafeteria ever again, it distracted me from everything else I needed to do."

Camera pans into the study groups bodies.  Undigested take-out was mutating inside their digestive tract.  Something was alive in that food.  Was it a Chinese Virus... or just Chinese Botulism forming?

GM Notes: The scheduled online game for our annual Day of Sloth IOU game went off with many hitches.  With two players and a roll on the IOU random occurrence table I designed, we kept with a "ripped from the headlines" approach. 

The high point of the game was setting up an impromptu Mad Libs to interpret Duane's journal.  I heartily recommend that for role-playing/collaborative warm-up if you need to burn a couple of minutes/waiting on another player.  Good times.