Sunday, April 3, 2011

(D&D 4e) We have met the enemy, and it kinda sucks.

I had the good fortune to be invited to my buddy Steve's 4th Edition game this past Saturday. The game was all the way down in Pottstown, but I didn't want to give up the chance to game AND see my other friend Nate as well...

Even if it was 4th Edition.

Now, before I begin with "the hating," I was forewarned on the drive from Steve's to Pottstown that the group was green, not so much like unripened banana green, rather a banana tree seed that had been recently planted. Fourth was the chosen game because (a) some players actually owned those books and (b) it was in print and readily available.

Steve was DMing the game at their monthly meetings until the regular DM, Jeff, could spend time to focus on it again, hopefully in the summer. Including Nate and myself, there were seven players, and the game was restarting with brand-new 3rd level characters. As my entire history with this edition involves me reading the PHB and DMG cover-to-cover in a Barnes and Nobles, I chose Miles, a Human Knight as my character. As a 2nd edition era player, things hadn't changed much, just... different. The computer program everything was printed from was nice enough to add all the bonuses for my melee and missile attacks and them boldly on the center of the first page. What made me take pause was the page and a half of "action cards": special class/race/level abilities, instead of just being listed on the character sheet were designed to be cut out and played as appropriate. Luckily many of mine were battle actions and stances I could declare for bonuses, as well as my magic items. Pity to the monk who had twice as many, or the deluge of cards each spellcaster had. I'm assuming after a high enough level, using cards becomes prohibitively complicated and the sheets are printed out to avoid referencing the books.

The set-up for the game was nice and just a step beyond generic: We were all in the employ of, or indebted to a certain lord that sounded like he was more Godfather than Lord of the Rings. We had to visit an abandoned temple to hire a guide to lead us across the border in an enemy territory. There was more, but since we didn't get that far, I'll skip it for now. A handful of us were given secondary/personal goals to accomplish, if possible. I didn't ask if this was part of the game system, but it felt like a nice touch to flesh out the new characters.

Here's where everything fell apart: in five hours of playtime, excluding dinner and set/clean-up, we got through TWO rooms. The group is full of rookies, but these are rookies who understood movement, shifts, and standard/minor/free actions far better than I did and it took forever. To be truthful, my "tank" actually avoided a full frontal assault on archers, drakes, and bandits to flank the enemy, cause, truth be told, I've played these games long enough to not do something that stupid. There was just the right amount of rookie cooperation (re: none) and the convoluted combat probably ran twice as long because of it, but in the Basic/1st/2nd edition block of D&D, this would have been a half hour fight, with mediocre characters winning the day with perhaps a casualty. In this scenario we had two PCs dead, two revived from near death, and the rest of us were forced to use multiple "healing boosts" just to stay upright.

The second room went much smoother, but still complicated. My knight decided to lead the group further into the temple, to avoid another foolhardy charge. Unfortunately, the orc and his kobold minions in the room were waiting for us. Again, the party cohesion evaporated as I took the brunt of the orc and kobold slinger attacks.

Sidetrack: I've loved kobolds ever since they were lovable dog-men instead of draconian humanoids. I've played the in the LVGA classic: They're Only Kobolds by Joe Ward. I've run them like little ninjas, and I've run them as lovable misunderstood critters. Fourth edition turns them into dragon-wannabe midgets from hell. As if the sling bullets with an appropriately increased damage rating weren't bad enough en masse, now they readily possess glue pots and incendiary pots. Now, I have used incendiary devices with kobolds, but that was only for warren defense. Kobolds openly using these items and fighting to the man? Perhaps it's the new rules, perhaps it's Steve, I don't know.

After we assessed the damage, we realized it was after 9pm, and with a two hour drive on my part, we departed. Rant On: When I ran the Hackmaster version of G1: The Steading of the Hill Giant Chieftain, we had six PCs, two PC proteges, and an NPC torchbearer royally screw up their stealth and be forced to fight a running battle against hobgoblins, ogres, and giants in the lairs beneath the great hall. Piles of humanoids fell, dozens of heroic actions occurred, and yet the combat itself concluded in just over two hours.

Now I can't tell you how many squares Fonzie Schlepprock shifted to avoid an attack, or if Cecelia Darkspruce needed to use an action point to heal the magic-user, but I do remember three brave gnome titans wading through the unwashed hordes to save their friends, rid the kingdom of their problem, and get them to begrudgingly become an ally against The Master. And that's HACKMASTER, with a twenty point HP kicker and standard damage. Fourth edition jacked up the hit points and damage and it still feels slower.

Now, will I join in again if invited? Absolutely. Beggars in my situation can't be choosers and a game is a game. I enjoyed playing Miles, who I used my freshly painted Scottish golfer for the mini. The group dynamic is similar to my high school group, although the Charles archetype is more personable, and the Wooly archetype is still named Brian.

Now if I can only teach them Hackmaster. Or Talislanta. Or Gnome Wars.

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