********Seriously? You don't think parts of the movie will be spoiled on a review four days after its release? If that's the case, then I'd like to tell you that Rosebud is the sled, but you're so stupid you think Citizen Kane is a WWE documentary.***********
The movie is out, the civil war of opinion has broke out across this intraweb thingy. Pro-Whedon vs anti-Whedon. Coulson vs Hill. Titanic struggle versus the big bad villan using Carmen Burana as the soundtrack versus Aerosmith's Rag Doll. If you look, some weird ass position on some niggling detail can be discovered on just about anything.
I have watched a little Buffy, no Firefly, found Serenity to be an ok movie. I'm not familiar enough with any of Whedon's later works to form an opinion. In the Whedon War, I'm Switzerland because I don't care who wrote, directed, or was 3rd Key Grip in Singapore for the damn movie.
That all off my chest, I will warn you I'm going stream-of-consciousness on this and I'm starting with the end, the climatic battle scene sucked. Generic alien menace coming out in groups so small a biker gang could handle them? I know the New York City is the center of the universe to some, but having them invade up to 39th Street, and every time a building is significantly hit, it's the only one within three blocks to have any noticeable damage? Really?
Next quibble. Did SHIELD transform from a branch of Homeland Security into a super secret international task force in Thor? Yes I know it was probably international from the beginning and used a convenient cover, but that was the only piece of movie canon that I missed, and I did not see Thor to fill in that minor piece of information.
So, the Earth's Mightiest Heroes, The Avengers, are to join forces to combat an impending invasion from the great unknown. The alpha dogs that they are, the heroes create great personality clashes, many verbal, some physical, before learning to work together and save the Earth. Welcome to number of classic Avengers comic plot lines. Enjoy your stay. The movie handles it well and delivers on the basic promise true believers demanded of them since the Sixties.
I knew I was going to enjoy the dialogue the second Stark Tower powered up, more specifically, when Agent Coulson arrived. I knew what information Tony had just received, I was more intrigued by the cellist in Portland. Maybe I've watched too many chick flicks with the missus, but I already know the superpowers, equipment, etc. I've read enough Marvel Masterworks to know that. I want that appropriate dialog to make these comic book characters real, and I think the film delivered without seeming too witty.
The characters were as spot on as one could expect with multiple movie sequels to worry about.
Captain America starts with a small bit of self doubt in the beginning, as 70 years as America's greatest popsicle could do to a person. That doubt slowly thaws out of him so by the time the big battle starts he assumes the mantle of leader and world greets their first superhero with open arms (after one minor snafu, but that is quickly remedied with action and a bit of comedy).
Iron Man: Tony is Tony, except he learns that it's okay to play with others for the greater good, especially if you're the only guy who can save New York.
Thor: my exposure to him and verily I say, he's exactly what I hoped for. I so wanted more dialogue between him and Cap.
Hawkeye always gets the short end on the stick in the comics, so outside of the mind control incident, I was very content with his portrayal. A mortal among gods (small g as to not piss Cap off), he does what he can, and he does that well.
Black Widow: this version seems more hypnotic than the deadly seduction I've seen. Plus, as another true mortal on the team, she does play a significant part in stopping the invasion. The scene where the Hulk is chasing her does make her look more scared Hollywood starlet than cool collected comic book heroine running for her life. Plus I don't believe that Johansson went commando to fit into that suit. She had to have had major bones and vital organs removed as well.
SHIELD: Fury: solid. Hill: Aunt Robin needs to gain 15 lbs of solid muscle to help avoid looking like real life Liefeld drawing, only without the large boobs and broken back pose. Coulson: after this movie, I can only picture his face on Vision's body. But who to play the Scarlet Witch?
Banner/Hulk: I've heard rumors of two Hulk movies. I've just decided to deny their existence from this point forward. Mark Ruffalo makes a badass Bruce Banner that I would watch for 90 minutes without him turning into "the other guy". That other guy is pretty awesome, but let me combine those comments under....
Loki: everyone I've seen has got Loki wrong. He isn't anywhere near the big bad villain people portray him as. He's really the henchman of the henchman of the villain! He's a clever mook with big aspirations. His fight with the Hulk was perfect in that regard. Loki's most devious schemes weren't the issue . The starship on the other side of the portal was a far more dangerous.Hulk took the perfect amount of time to resolve that nuisance.
The ending: part of my brain would't shut off about the Stark Tower architecture, so now I'm pleasantly surprised.
The secret ending: This is going to get messy,
Patiently waiting for Iron Man 3 and the continuous wave of movies leading out each summer...
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