Monday, April 1, 2013

Battle at the Farm

Ah, a holiday weekend with the wife working. That means time to run a game for the kids!

Perhaps it's just a coincidence, but I've recently stumbled upon a number of blogs/articles trying to recapture the nostalgic glory of Rogue Trader era 40K. Most have focused on the most memorable scenario in the rule book, the Battle at the Farm.

Now here's my take on it. GW (Games Workshop) might not approve, but GW (Gnome Wars) will.

The Chicka Zulu had declared war on the gnomes, constantly pushing around their military, and even hunting down notable royalty. Now, remaining gnome units are holed up where they can hide, trying to retreat with dignity when they can before the final Chicka Zulu push.

Some of the Zulu warlords have ulterior motives. Stashes of weapons, gold, and other treasures dot the countryside. Warbands are scrambling between major engagements, trying to recover what they can before the main army catches up.

The German Colonials
Objective: hold the farm for six turns, prevent warlord or their henchman from seizing the stash.

9 German Riflemen
1 German NCO "Sergeant Hans"
1 German Bier Doktor
1 Bruce Carmezind "The Most Interesting Gnome in the World"  Big Game Hunter, Zombie Survivalist, Cheese Connoisseur.  Bruce is the closest thing to a 40K special character that my games have.
8 German Bunny Cavalry - had been hiding in the barn

Generalissimo Maja and the Germans

The Chicka Zulu
Objective: have warlord or henchmen seize stash. Rout Germans before turn six.

6x9 Chicka Zulu Warriors
2 Giant Hench-chicks (double wounds/+2 in melee)
Snow White, Chocoholic War-Princess

The Chicka Zulu are prepared for candy recovery

Yes, Snow White. In one of the previous games, some of the Disney Princesses on safari narrowly escaped certain doom. Now we find out the original princess is using her powers of animal friendship to obtain a secret stash of M&Ms!

The objective...
Despite wanting to play Snow White, Maja took the gnomes, since she could sneak a few m&ms during the game.

Turn one:
Maja won the initiative with a thunderous roar and decided... To move some of the defenders over the wall! What? Chalk this up to Bruce Carmezind deciding that the wall didn't make the fighting fair. They peppered one of the warrior stands and waited for the Chicka Zulu to move. The chicks obliged the Germans.
Bruce Carmezind forces the Germans in foolhardy displays of bravery
Turn Two:
The warriors continued their charge, except for the decimated unit, which fell back to regroup, and Snow White and her Hench-peeps, who surveyed the battlefield and followed behind units not getting decimated by the German guns.  One stand of warriors was wiped out by German Rifles.
Snow  White and her hench-peep survey the battlefield before flying in with wild abandon.
Turn Three
The German Bunny Cav finally maneuvered around and met the Zulu flank hard.  The Zulu hit back harder, however and despite an overwhelming advantage, the Chickas traded blow for blow.  The Henchpeep jumped in and turned the tide completely away from the Germans.
The German Cav meets some angry birds
Turn Four:
The main body of warriors hit the German line, outside of Bruce Carmezind and one rifleman, the Germans were quickly devoured.  Snow White took full advantage and stayed far away from the  four rifles at the far end of the farm.  The hench-peep waded through the surprisingly inept cav, forcing the final three to flee back.

Turn Five:
Giving a rallying cry of legend, Bruce and the five remaining Germans held their own against the feathery onslaught from Hell.  Perhaps the bloodthirsty Zulus were preoccupied devouring the dead of the fallen enemy, perhaps Bruce fed them Dos Equis del la Gnoma.  The world may never know.  What the world did know was that on....

Turn Six:
With Snow White mere inches from the stash, the three remaining Bunny Cav became remarkably useful and captured her.  The German rifles formed a rear guard to fend off the Chicka Zulus and force  ran off to fight another day.  Without their Animal Friendship control, the chicks and hench peeps just became ravenous eating machines.

The Germans withdraw with their Princess prisoner while the Chickas feast on the corpses

Lucky for Maja, the Germans were able to run off with Snow White and the M&Ms.  If I had pulled off a victory, I would be forced to extract the spoils of war via tickling.

I was very impressed when after the the chicks and bunnies broke off melee, she rushed her three remaining cav back to the farm to encounter Snow White.  Otherwise, Daddy may have actually pulled off a win.
The game wasn't as epic as the other battles I've seen, but we managed to clean off the dining room table for Easter a day early, my eldest was entertained (my little 2 year old Millie, sauntered off after turn one to watch Tom & Jerry's version of The Wizard of Oz), and best yet, someone has to rescue the misguided Disney princess from the clutches on the Hun.

Someday her prince will come, probably armed to the teeth.

Playing around before the game.  Those peeps that refused to fight were eaten.

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