(IOU) A Long Island Iced Tea, Made in Newark

After years of analysis and human sacrifice, the ArchDean of Illuminati University determined the winter break and subsequent winter mini-session to be the least profitable time of year, so the break was restricted to four weeks tops to accommodate the large numbers of holidays across the multiverse that  always fell around December and January in IOU's calendar.  There was still an outstanding contract with the tenured faculty giving them a fifth week, so there was a free week after finals.  Most thought it was just a way to squeeze more profit out of the smoothie machines, but student clubs determined it to be a windfall.  Budgets for clubs were finalized at the end of the year, and were based on end of the year membership, so the final week of mandatory school were clubs hunting the student body and cajoling them into joining them.  

For star Moopsball player Buckshot Calvert, hiding in the bushes seemed like the best course of action... until the Horticulturalist Club starting makin their rounds.  

Buckshot is actually a real person.

He sauntered out of the bushes, and his white jacket provided some camo on the snow-covered Pent (their Quad had an extra side).  

With hooting and hollering, Buckshot tried over something hiding on the ground.  

Buckshot had tripped over an African-American midget wearing a waiter's outfit, brandishing a weapon.  

Art "Maitre'D" Dowling

"Yo, what's this shit about?"

"I'm sorry my good fellow?"   Buckshot apologized.

"What the fuck you from?"

"Are you trying to imply that I'm uppity?"

"Are you calling me uppity, Buckshot?"

"You are too short to uppity...."

"I'll call us even if you throw the next game."

"Or I can slap your head, take your gun, and run away."

"You finished strong there, but you started real weak, buster."

There were bigger problems appearing on the Pent.  A large group of student, with mindless devotion to a single man and all wearing red baseball hats, emerged .... on horseback.

"Maitre'D" wasted no time, pulling out a blinged out Segway and slowly trying to drive away.  

The group, turned their ponies and charged.   The Mongolian Student Horde Organization was looking to expand across campus.  

Make the Khan Great Again!

One lone individual emerged to lead the charge across the pent.  Somehow Keith Stone had joined the Mongolian because they offered ponies, although he misheard that as pony bottles.  Seeing this as his chance to lose the losers, he charged forward.  Maitre'D fired his weapon, hitting the pony and causing a great tussle with Maitre'D and Buckshot.  

Keith Stone, Always Smooth

"That went poorly!"  Keith exclaimed.  

**FADE TO BLACK**

The trio found themselves contained an outside pen from the Mongolian house.  

Buckshot was second guessing the Confederate Flag belt buckle that was eye-level to Matire'D,  He popped the gate open, and brazenly left.  His sports stardom spellstruck the Mongolians, but the second he hit a public sidewalk, every other club noticed him:  The Beaver Tamers Clubs, the anime club, the Goth Penny Collectors, the Goths Who Collect Pennies, and the the Mongols main competition, the Visigoth Numismatists.  

The other two followed him, Keith grabbing a can of yak beer for the road.  

With the Visigoths fighting the Mongols over the rights for Buckshot, the trio dove back into the bushes.  

"You know where nobody goes after finals?"  Maitre'D asked

"The Library?" Keith Stone answered.

"You got it, dawg."

Unfortunately, it appeared that the Belgian Toast Club had set up an illegal rave at the library.  Hovering fifty foot above the library was a very two-dimensional triangle spinning around.  It began to move away from the library.  Anyone out in the open seemed to be telekinetically lifted up by the triangle, and once it touch the object, the people disappeared.  

Keith Stone stared up, took a sip from his yak beer, and in a rare moment, shared his beer with the others.  

The spinning triangle seemed to change direction if it hit any object, forcing students to change the direction of their fleeing.    Two human female Freshthings ran towards the trio, as well as a giant carrot dressed like a female opera singer.  The guys joined forces/hit on the fleeing females. and joined being chased by the floating triangle.  

The triangle was gaining on him, pulling Matire'D up into the air. Buckshot turned around and lept up to grabbed him by the wrists. Despite the save, both were now being pulled up by the power of the triangle.  

Keith, knowing that cylinders beat triangles, began chucking cans at the triangle,   Unfortunately, his aim has horrible, and struck both Maitre'D and Buckshot in the head.  Their hold on each other broken, they began floating separately, and faster towards the traingle.

Near their doom, the Maitre'D and Buckshot were saved by the Minority Student Union.  Composed of one-off transfer students from other galaxies, anthropomorphic ducks in Chewbacca cosplay, and a few Tongans, they owned the sufficient technology to temporarily neutralize the triangle's power.  Matire'D and Buckshot fell to the ground.

"Man, now I'm gonna have to go to one of their meetings," Maitre'D exclaimed.

Keith Stone was empathetic, "I'll go with ya, man!"

With that, the triangle remained hovering, stopped spinning, and began moving back towards the library raid.  

The anthropomorphic duck in cosplay directed them towards the large tents next to the rave, and handed them beverages.  

"What's this?"  Buckshot asked.

"I've partied with these dudes," Keith answered, "They know their drinks.  Top notch beyond my tastes.  Too much Neptunian Soy and their Long Island Iced Teas taste like their made in Newark."

GM:  An impromptu Christmas game of Risus IOU, created three roles on my massive IOU random event table.  Our random plot points: (A) "Jenga Khan",  (B) "Bermuda Triangle moves around like a roomba!"  and this pic (C)

 Everyone added Ally:  Minority Student Union (11+)