Thursday, October 19, 2017

(RISUS - IOU) The Culligan, Man of Mystery

Another day, another billion dollars from student loans at Illuminati University.

Rayne Firewyrk, Bottled Water Hating Fire Samurai, spotted the Culligan man pushing a hand truck across campus. Knowing the horrible things that could be in the bottled water ("You don't know what's in bottled water? THAT'S THE PROBLEM!), he tried to sneak across the Pent, with a tiny bush, cartoon-style.
Yes, this is a real thing... check out Youtube.

Keith Stone sees him poorly trying to sneak across the wide-open Pent and intervened with a Keystone Light. Easily comprehending that bottled water was much more dangerous than beer, he joined the investigation. Looking for muscle to help them take down such a threat, they recruited Pepe the King Prawn and Huggy Bear, a 6'6" black mother *shut your mouth* Care Bear.  
Huggy Bear, sans his leather trench, black turtleneck, and cool hat

The Culligan went through a service entrance of cafeteria and Rayne almost made it through the closing door before suffering an asthma attack. Using his video game connections, his gamer buddy MONGO, let them in, so long as they had some sweet potato pie and come back to hang for a bit. 

"Mongo psyche filled filled with black swirling darkness."

Once they posted the discussion on Mongo's ennui, they caught a glimpse of the The Culligan dragging his hand truck down a flight of stairs. 

They finally caught up to The Culligan, who was taking his five gallon water jugs and installing them directly into the campus water supply!

Pepe attempted to dislodged the water jug and succeeded, only to have a low-lying fog seep out of the connection, knocking him out.  Huggy Bear lifted him out and Keith Stone tried to revive him with yet another Keystone Light.... in the Beer Cozy of Satan. 

Pepe woke up, mysteriously wearing thick glasses, his turtleneck and chain replaced with suspenders, his Latino accent replaced with a rare Chicago twang.

"Did I do that????" 

Pepe Urquel wanted vengeance and chased after The Culligan.  He managed to circle around him, and catch off guard, but failed to do anything.  Huggy Bear stared down The Culligan, but The Culligan whipped out a '50s style ray gun and knocked him out AND disarmed Rayne's katana.  The Culligan threw his last 5-gallon jug at a unsuspecting Pepe Urquel.  Keith Stone slid into the jug's path.  The jug hit him with a resounding thud, and Stone's body still slammed into the king prawn.  Gathering their senses, Keith's pride was the only thing wounded, and Pepe was back to his Latin Lothario ways....   

Rayne recovered his katana and disarmed The Culligan, forcing him to flee.  Another chase through the pipe-strewn basement confirmed to Rayne that he really need to work on cardio.  The Culligan was ultimately trapped in a dark and dingy break room.   In one last act of desperation, he pulled down a vending machine, which cracked open, sending dozens of 16oz bottles of water everywhere.

When the others finally caught up to Rayne, they found the floor covered with water and sliced open bottles, the cover to an air vent lying against the wall, The Culligan gone. 
A friendly delivery man, or a secret warrior of a mysterious society?
When they finally get to the surface, The Culligan's truck was gone, but a license plate vanity frame was left in it's spot...  "H2O to GO..."

...but first it was time for sweet potato pie and friendship.

GM Note:  Another online D&D session was cancelled, this time our DM was available, but the main character who was central to the storyline had a family medical emergency.  

Time to whip out Risus.  

The entire session was based on the first question I asked Jeff (Rayne's player),  "What does Rayne see as he's chilling on the Pent?"  

"I see the Culligan man delivering water.  I need to exact vengeance."

Game. Set. Match.

I will say that I need to make/post a few more NPCs for IOU.  I'm running a bit low after relying on them for these last two games.  

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