With another semester at Illuminati University starting, the almost smooth Keith Stone was taking some air after his latest conquest. Across the Pent, he spied Professor Pittleman hovering above the sidewalk towards one of the science building. Then, all of a sudden, *poof*, he was gone!
Inside the building, Professor Pittleman's new assistant was waiting outside the Physics lab. He was unsure why Student Affairs gave a music major a job in a particle accelerator lab, but new Freshthing Walken the Minotaur was ready for anything. Already confused that an exotic bush was navigating the Pent in a miniature hovercraft, he was flabbergasted when the creature simply vanished from his view. Frightened, yet somehow emboldened, the minotaur dashed down the stairs and out towards the Pent.
Keith Stone could barely believe his eyes with the disappearance of his friend, and as he jogged over to the stop, was even more distraught when he spied a minotaur in a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt charging him!
Walken took notice of the imminent collision and changed course, gracefully avoiding the Light Beer Connoisseur, only knocking off his hat with a whip of the tail. Keith Stone didn't believe the Professor disappeared willingly anymore than he believed Walken was a minotaur, and decided a drink was in order to clear his mind. He invited Walken to tag alongside with him, stole a campus police golf cart, and drove off-campus to Texas Roadhouse. Walken discovered en route that he suffered from motion sickness, but a quick brew in the Keith's Beer Cozy of Satan reinvigorated him.
Inside the Texas Roadhouse, they discovered an odd sight: A pirate dancing on the mechanical bull, all the while wielding scissors against the waitstaff.
As always, Keith smoothed over the misunderstanding, and Scissorhand John joined the drinking foray.
After a few hours of Keystone Lights, Tater Skins, and Cactus Blossoms, the server presented the bill, and the pirate made a mad dash out the door, "Because that's what pirates do at restaurants!"
Walken chased after the pirate, pulled out his fife and played a pirate song that lured Scissorhand John back into the Texas Roadhouse, where all was forgotten again and drinking resumed, along with a desire for Karaoke.
The minotaur got up to sing, and pulled out his fife and cowbell, ready to do a soulful rendition of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" from Titantic. But to his surprise, the Karaoke dude put in the Chilean Wind Chime version, forcing him to make some musical changes. In the end, the restaurant erupted in applause! Walken got some middle-aged groupies, but lost his cool with the ladies and promptly blew chunks. Keith Stone promptly grabbed a vintage atomic spittoon from the floor to blocked the gastro barrage. The combination of the minotaur vomit and tobacco juice being broken down by radioactive decay forced the device to go into meltdown.
Despite having no experience in nuclear sciences, Keith Stone prevented the strip mall from becoming a radioactive wasteland, thanks to the Beer Cozy of Satan, some Keystone Light, and the peanut shells that littered the floor.
He then ran off with two of the middle-aged women in the stolen police golf cart back to his dorm room for 45 seconds of pleasure.
Without even realizing their swill-drinking friend was gone, the pirate and the minotaur were accosted by a swashbuckling gelatinous cube, William Cosplay. He was an officer with the Cosmic Police with a warrant to arrest Scissorhand John for illegal temporal movement. As the strangely acrobatic cube pursued the pirate, he knocked into another patron, forcing him to spill his beer.
Scissorhand John had angered the immortally badass Snake Gandhi, who was simply trying to enjoy a relaxing evening of fried pickles and a porterhouse t-bone.
Snake Gandhi was then wiping the floor with the pirate with simple fisticuffs, but when he decided to pull out of one of his two invisible katanas with laser sights, Walken could take no more. He dove in front of the Hindu badass and blocked the see-through blade with with his cowbell.
The resulting explosion took weeks to piece back together.
*The minotaur was last seen walking alongside the highway, the restaurant's Karaoke machine in tow.
*The pirate was last seen in a psych ward, suffering from complete amnesia, watching the movie Dodgeball over and over again.
*Keith Stone checked off "3-way w/ 2 MILFs" off his semester bucket list.
.... and in the ruins of the restaurant, Snake Gandhi kicked through the rubble, only to stop in utter surprise and pick up an illegal wrist chronal navigator.
Scissorhand John was a time-travel pirate, after all...
GM Notes: I absolutely adore the 5th Edition D&D online game I play in Monday nights, but for the last two weeks, scheduling has been a nightmare. Between work and family obligations, the GMs has had to cancel enough sessions that I got my Risus: Terraforming Mars game finished. Two weeks ago, the GM had to bail last minute, and I commandeered Steve, Nate, and Chris to run this session of IOU.
Fun fact: I've got a rant about open-ending, cooperative role-playing coming up this weekend, but with this dropped on me at the last minute, I figured I'd get Keith Stone, Walken, and Professor Pittleman together before we figured out what direction the session would go.
Then Nate (Prof Pittleman) mysteriously dropped off the Skype call, and couldn't be reached by any means for around ten minutes.
Knowing Nate's history with Skype is worse than mine, I made the executive decision to simply made the good Professor vanish into thin air and proceed from there. So, when Nate finally reconnected, the other two were already heading to Texas Roadhouse.
Insert Nate Character 2.0: Scissorhand John: Time-travelling pirate I made up from a news story awhile back.
And if you notice the final line of this post, we had scheduling issues this week as well, so there is a part two (and a Nate Character 3.0. This time he made up his own at the start of the session.)
No spoilers, but a part three is definitely a possibility.
Next Up: Culligan, Man of Mystery!
Keith Stone could barely believe his eyes with the disappearance of his friend, and as he jogged over to the stop, was even more distraught when he spied a minotaur in a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt charging him!
Walken took notice of the imminent collision and changed course, gracefully avoiding the Light Beer Connoisseur, only knocking off his hat with a whip of the tail. Keith Stone didn't believe the Professor disappeared willingly anymore than he believed Walken was a minotaur, and decided a drink was in order to clear his mind. He invited Walken to tag alongside with him, stole a campus police golf cart, and drove off-campus to Texas Roadhouse. Walken discovered en route that he suffered from motion sickness, but a quick brew in the Keith's Beer Cozy of Satan reinvigorated him.
Inside the Texas Roadhouse, they discovered an odd sight: A pirate dancing on the mechanical bull, all the while wielding scissors against the waitstaff.
As always, Keith smoothed over the misunderstanding, and Scissorhand John joined the drinking foray.
After a few hours of Keystone Lights, Tater Skins, and Cactus Blossoms, the server presented the bill, and the pirate made a mad dash out the door, "Because that's what pirates do at restaurants!"
Walken chased after the pirate, pulled out his fife and played a pirate song that lured Scissorhand John back into the Texas Roadhouse, where all was forgotten again and drinking resumed, along with a desire for Karaoke.
The minotaur got up to sing, and pulled out his fife and cowbell, ready to do a soulful rendition of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" from Titantic. But to his surprise, the Karaoke dude put in the Chilean Wind Chime version, forcing him to make some musical changes. In the end, the restaurant erupted in applause! Walken got some middle-aged groupies, but lost his cool with the ladies and promptly blew chunks. Keith Stone promptly grabbed a vintage atomic spittoon from the floor to blocked the gastro barrage. The combination of the minotaur vomit and tobacco juice being broken down by radioactive decay forced the device to go into meltdown.
Despite having no experience in nuclear sciences, Keith Stone prevented the strip mall from becoming a radioactive wasteland, thanks to the Beer Cozy of Satan, some Keystone Light, and the peanut shells that littered the floor.
He then ran off with two of the middle-aged women in the stolen police golf cart back to his dorm room for 45 seconds of pleasure.
Without even realizing their swill-drinking friend was gone, the pirate and the minotaur were accosted by a swashbuckling gelatinous cube, William Cosplay. He was an officer with the Cosmic Police with a warrant to arrest Scissorhand John for illegal temporal movement. As the strangely acrobatic cube pursued the pirate, he knocked into another patron, forcing him to spill his beer.
Scissorhand John had angered the immortally badass Snake Gandhi, who was simply trying to enjoy a relaxing evening of fried pickles and a porterhouse t-bone.
Snake Gandhi was then wiping the floor with the pirate with simple fisticuffs, but when he decided to pull out of one of his two invisible katanas with laser sights, Walken could take no more. He dove in front of the Hindu badass and blocked the see-through blade with with his cowbell.
The resulting explosion took weeks to piece back together.
*The minotaur was last seen walking alongside the highway, the restaurant's Karaoke machine in tow.
*The pirate was last seen in a psych ward, suffering from complete amnesia, watching the movie Dodgeball over and over again.
*Keith Stone checked off "3-way w/ 2 MILFs" off his semester bucket list.
.... and in the ruins of the restaurant, Snake Gandhi kicked through the rubble, only to stop in utter surprise and pick up an illegal wrist chronal navigator.
Scissorhand John was a time-travel pirate, after all...
GM Notes: I absolutely adore the 5th Edition D&D online game I play in Monday nights, but for the last two weeks, scheduling has been a nightmare. Between work and family obligations, the GMs has had to cancel enough sessions that I got my Risus: Terraforming Mars game finished. Two weeks ago, the GM had to bail last minute, and I commandeered Steve, Nate, and Chris to run this session of IOU.
Fun fact: I've got a rant about open-ending, cooperative role-playing coming up this weekend, but with this dropped on me at the last minute, I figured I'd get Keith Stone, Walken, and Professor Pittleman together before we figured out what direction the session would go.
Then Nate (Prof Pittleman) mysteriously dropped off the Skype call, and couldn't be reached by any means for around ten minutes.
Knowing Nate's history with Skype is worse than mine, I made the executive decision to simply made the good Professor vanish into thin air and proceed from there. So, when Nate finally reconnected, the other two were already heading to Texas Roadhouse.
Insert Nate Character 2.0: Scissorhand John: Time-travelling pirate I made up from a news story awhile back.
And if you notice the final line of this post, we had scheduling issues this week as well, so there is a part two (and a Nate Character 3.0. This time he made up his own at the start of the session.)
No spoilers, but a part three is definitely a possibility.
Next Up: Culligan, Man of Mystery!
Read this to see if Snake Ghandi showed up being badass and was not disappointed. 10/10 for Texas Roadhouse destruction.
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