(Trogs Redux) #4 Ligere's Castle

This session the heroes are:

Phinious Whistelteets, a half-elf bard of Riffilin blood, trying to live up to his merchant family standards. His charming personality was going to get him a number of enchanted and rare items in a deal with the prominent Nubian merchant in Verge. Of course, his fear of light war horses and his deadly allergy to cheese was proving problematic on this journey.
Arnold, another half-elf bard of far more considerable blandness

Froedrick Cobblepot, a Gnome Cleric of worshiping the halfing goddess Yondalla.
"Keebs," a Gnome Titan BattleMage, and frighteningly the only competent fighter in the group.
Clarkos Metropoulos - Former Baronial Guard of Vadecvinscy who wields a pole arm
Lorigaard Moosaka - Neurotic priestess of Echelon, the god of the ocean, and her pet pigeon.

9th of HepDec, 1142 - Village of Verge, Kingdom of Marakeikos
Before the p8arty left for Ligere's Tower, Arnold and Phineous decided to have a 'sing-off' to determine who would get the magical chain mail. Arnold sang something between a famed ballad and a song patterned after "Yo Mama" jokes. Phineous simply choked on his wines from the content of Phineous' song and could not continue (GM Notes: He rolled a 99),

Wizard Tower by JonasJensenArt

After being greeted by the butler they were led to a sitting room where they were introduced to Mrs. Marie Ligere, wife of the wizard. She informed the group that Ligere had died more than seven months ago. However she could locate the people he would normally deal with within a day or so. She did propose the group help her clean out the basement. It seems there were two items that she needed retrieve from her husbands laboratory and she didn't go down herself. If the group could get those items to her by tomorrow night, everything else downstairs was theirs to keep.

The party descended a metal spiral staircase, went through a door, and proceeded down a hallway, only to have the floor collapse into a pit. Damage was light, and Keebs was lifted up to attach a rope to the door so everyone could climb up. As the knot was tied, a bell rang somewhere within the dungeon and a large man appears on the far side of the pit, looks at Keebs and stretches his arms across the pit to smack the Gnome Titan. Then, a small metallic orb with a spinning blade around its center comes flying down the corridor and starts attacking Arnold who was climbing up the rope. The little metallic sphere couldn't penetrate Arnold Magic Chain Mail (it only did 1 pt of damage per hit) and turned it's attentions to Phineas, still stuck in the pit. Phineas destroyed the sphere for 26 points of damage with a dagger (Most Damage Award) and the rest of the group dispatched Stretch Armstrong.

After some healing, cursing, and Froedrich changing his pants, the party discovered the passageway to the spiral staircase was now blocked off by a huge stone wall. The party pressed forward investigating the room that stretch came from and then entering a fancy tiled bathroom. Keebs had the misfortune of entering the bathroom first and a green slime fell on his head. Keebs dashed to the bathtub to wash it off only to find no water in the tub. Froedrich remembered how to kill a slime and set Keebs on fire, which set off his multiple personality (Angry Dwarf). As the slime disappeared, Keebs started talking in a Scottish accent and slugged Froedrich across the jaw. He then realized the other characters in the room where putzes and left the room (shirtless, as the slime ate the leather armor). The party watched "Weird Keebs" turn right, then heard a door open and slam as Keebs casually walked past the doorway to the bathroom. A few seconds later, two more of the metallic spheres went flying down the hallway. A few moments later they flew into the bathroom. Dispatching them quickly, they found Keebs unconscious in the hallway (eep no spells!) with no memory of what happened. He did grab a plush human-sized bathrobe to keep him warm (which he threw off before each ensuing combat, turning him into a bare-chested gnomish pugilist.)

Things sure didn't get better, going into the room "Dwarf Keebs" had peeked into they found a huge study. Scrounging up some Vellum and a few random books,

Arnold took a grappling hook and rope and ripped out the drawers of the study desk. This set off the paralyzing gas trap which caught only... poor Froedrich, the others ran out of the room to let the room clear before they retrieved the cleric.

Clearing out that corner, the group moved to the next portion. They came upon a lounge with a magical fireplace, comfy leather chairs, and a huge picture of Ligere. (DM Note: I believe it was Steve who asked, "Is Bruce Campbell in here playing the piano?" So now the portrait of Ligere was Bruce Campbell with a short white beard. ")

The next room was a dining room, complete with chandelier. One round in the room, the chandelier began shooting out bolts of light, potentially blinding party members. As that occurred, a side door swung open and three zombies attacked. Phineas was blinded by a bolt and proceeded to grab a chair to attack the zombies, only to crack it over the head of.... Froedrich. Froedrich then ran out of the room to parts unknown. After dispatching the zombies the party recovered a now-disgruntled Froedrich, calmed him down and proceeded. After rummaging through the kitchen the party found a stairwell leading down and an adjacent with a plaque that read "Do Not Enter! Guardian is Dangerous and Very Hostile - L" They decided to avoid them... After finding a pantry full of cheese (Phineas is deathly allergic to cheese) the group was attacked by a pack rats, and Froedrich locked himself in the pantry "I ain't taking this shit anymore" The group called it a night, again calming the temper-tantrum gnome and called it a night.


10th of HepDec, 1142 - Village of Verge, Kingdom of Marakeikos
The next day, after much needed healing, they headed down the stairwell to... a coal room. Of course they found a secret door, got waylaid by some zombies and got into the inner sanctum. This is where the shit began hitting the fan. The first room they entered was full of alchemy supplies and material components, as well as a old mage who looked a lot like Bruce Campbell.

The mage just yelled "What the fuck?!!" tossed his worktable to the side and charged the party. Keebs ran off, Froedrich soon followed. Phineas took an egg out of his pocket, slammed it in Arnold's face, and finished casting his (Shift Blame) spell. Unfortunately not only did the wizard fall for it, Froedrich did as well. As the party fought the wizard (who fought with his fists), Froedrich futily attacked Arnold's back with his flail, cursing him out, "He's not fuckin' dead. Die you prick, just die!!!"

Luckily for the group, this image of Ligere was some sort of guardian simulacrum, and they could continue.

Froedrich wouldn't talk to Arnold for the rest of the adventure.

The next encounter would nearly cripple the party, Hoo-ray Rust Monster! The monster took out Froedrich's armor and weapon and Arnold's magical chain mail. The rust monster then chased them around the lower levels. The party managed to stall the 300-lb creature by blockading a doorway with the doors that the rust monster had eaten the hinges off of. Shirtless Keebs started to wrestle the monster then tied a rope around it and then tied the other end through the hole for the door knob in another door. That kept the rust monster at bay...for a while.

 Without his prized magic armor, and a magic longsword which failed his saving throw and got cracked the previous day, Nichols went suicidal, making Arnold charge through the last door of the lower level. The party fell upon another party of adventurers: A dwarf fighter in plate, a cocky human fighter, a grel mage and a crazed, drooling gnomish cleric. The mage blinded Phineas with a darkness spell, the human fighter chased shirtless Froedrich actually knocking him out. Arnold and Keebs took out the dwarf, blind Phineas was more effective, wrestling the closest person and then stabbing them repeatedly. Keebs turned to the mage and down to his last two hitpoints lost imitative to a magic-missile-casting grel. At the last moment, Froedrich dove out of nowhere and disrupted the spell (Froedrich had reached his low pain threshold, passed out, and no one could hear his whining over the combat.)

The party dispatched the rest, save the mage who Keebs treated as his own private Guantanamo Bay. In this area the group found the tiara, as well as a pile of magic items. After healing and performing another comical act with the rust monster, they went to the upstairs room with the sign and pretty handedly destroyed a gargoyle, even though Arnold was still at death's door.

They found a secret entrance which led to the servant's quarters in the tower upstairs. There they met Mrs. Ligere, Gwendolynn Oakland (pregnant leader of the Burning Trogs), and one dead butler.

The butler had let in the other uninvited adventurer, with hopes he would just take a share of treasure and handsomely retire far away. Mrs Ligere discovered this treachery, luckily with Gwendolyn already in attendance.

Next: #5 The Queen's Harvest