It's Game Night!!!!

After my 5e D&D group took two weeks off for the holidays, our GM is still swamped with family stuff, which means... I'm getting called up to the bigs again.

It's time for Risus.  

I've got two ideas, depending on who shows up.  If the GM does show, we can continue the Illuminati University game involving the Culligan Man.  No GM?  I'll try out one of the random charts filling up the dark recesses of the various drafts hiding within my blog.  

Either way, I hope for a lot of fun!

The Cold Wars 2017 PEL is UP!!!!

After much ridiciulous rushing, followed by an inexplicable delay, the Preliminary Even Listing (PEL) for Cold Wars 2017 is available here.

I may be the lone voice in the wilderness babbling nonsense, but I will again complain about the new formatting of the even number.  F:100: 14 might aid to the two or three people who somehow forgot what even they signed up for, but it's an unnecessary addition, that with the formatting of the PEL, makes it look like part of every title.

As is usual for the HMGS cons, here's the list of games that tickled my fancy:

F: 134  VSF Racing in the Subcontinent
Friday, 9:00 AM, 2 hrs, Players: 10 GM: Jon Lundberg Sponsor: Brigade Games and West Wind, Prize: None Period: Victorian Science Fiction, Scale: 28mm, Rules: VSF Races Strange contraptions race in, through and around an Indian Village. A light starter to the convention

F: 176  Doctor Who and the Mist From Mars 
Friday, 1:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 4 GM: Keith Frye Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: SciFi, Scale: 28mm, Rules: 7TV 1st Ed. "This is the voice of the Mist...We know you can hear Us, Doctor..." An Albion Rocket Consortium space capsule has returned to Earth empty...or has it? Who are the deadly apparitions that kill with a touch? Why are our own people helping them? And what lurks behind the helmet visor of the mysterious "Major T..."? Call UNIT. Call the Doctor. Do it quickly, man!

F: 455 Gnome Wars: The Battle for Tsingtao 
Friday, 2:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 6 GM: James Stanton Sponsor: Brigade games, Prize: Gnomes! Period: Gnomes, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Gnome Wars The Germans spread their breweries to the far corners of the world, including China. The German Far East Squadron control part of the Shantung peninsula and the port at Tsingtao. An allied force of Japanese and British arrived in September 1914 to lay siege on the port city. It is the evening of November 6th, 1914, when an allied force of Japanese and British attack hoping to gain control of the German Empire in the Far East
Gnomes made it into the PEL, and for Tsingtao no less!

F: 265 Picnic Panic Walk Up Demo (Kid Friendly)
Friday, 3:00 PM, 2 hrs, Players: 8 GM: Ben Rubin Sponsor: Stonegate Forge, Prize: None Period: Fantasy, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Picnic Panic Come try Picnic Panic, the game of ant warfare. Command a tribe of ants, each with its own unique abilities and advantages, as you wage war over a treasure trove of candy left by careless humans. Play as the noble firstborn,the strong horned ants, the undead black ants, or the hard fighting, hard partying nomants. Eat the candy you capture. Fast-play, easy to learn introduction to the hobby. Adults welcome with playing child. No ticket required.

F: 489  Chechen War - Russian Convoy Ambush 
Friday, 4:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 4 GM: Maciej Zajac & Wednesday Night Gamers of Alexandria Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: Modern, Scale: 25mm, Rules: Force on Force Chechen units organize ambush on military convoy. Before Russian support arrives the Chechen's must escape with seized weapon and ammunition to fight another day. "Force on Force" rules taught for new players

F: 180  Battle at Hartebeestmund (German SouthWest Africa, 1905) 
Friday, 6:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 6 GM: Roy Jones Sponsor: Recreational Conflict, Prize: Herero and German Miniatures Period: Colonial, Scale: 25mm, Rules: Sword and the Flame (Modified) It's a trap! Jakob Morenga, son of a Herero father and a Nama mother, and his Nama riflemen have been waiting for the Germans all along. And now the Germans are trapped between the hills and the river. It's German Mausers, machine guns and cannon against concealed Nama rifles and Jakob Morenga's guile, in a brutal fight at Hartebeestmund. Whether German or Nama, no one's coming out of this fight unscathed! From the forthcoming scenario book "The Nama Wars". More at: www.hererowars.com.

F: 269 Young Frankenstein the Wargame
Friday, 6:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 12 GM: Robert Kerstetter Sponsor: None, Prize: Trophy Period: Victorian Science Fiction, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Home Brew Young Dr. Frankenstein has been working overtime. The Castle and village are overrun by horrible monsters. The villagers, who are revolting, have called for help. Clear the village of monsters or throw your lot in with the monster. Fun game, all ages are welcome.

F: 100 55 Days at Peking
Friday, 7:00 PM, 6 hrs, Players: 24 GM: Gordon Andrews Sponsor: 5 Guys and a Lawyer, Prize: Old Glory Gift Certificate Period: Early 20th Century, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Modified Sword and the Flame Shah! Shah! The Foreign Devils must be driven from China! Or. Eight Legation stand between you and almost certain death! Can we hold out? Relive the epic 55 Days at Peking and the Boxer Rebellion. It's a 5 Guys and a Lawyer game so anything could happen!

F: 132  Reinforcements at Santiago - PreDreadnought 1898 
Friday, 7:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 8 GM: Daniel Kerr Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: Pre-Dreadnuoght, Scale: 1/1000, Rules: Black Smoke Blue Water 1898 -Germany intervenes to support the Spanish fleet at its departure from Santiago de Cuba. The wily Admiral Cervera will attempt his breakout in force early on a Sunday morning. US Admirals Schley and Sampson will have their hands full this time

F: 213: Santa and the Great Zeppelin Attack 
Friday, 7:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 8 GM: Buck Surdu & HAWKS Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: Fantasy, Scale: 28mm, Rules: To Be Continued... by G.A.S.L.I.G.H.T. Santa has adopted new technology to deliver presents a large zeppelin. But the world is at war (again). Bad guys of all stripes are determined to destroy the presents and capture the elves and flying reindeer to use in their war efforts. Can Santa and his elves prevail over the forces of evil? This game uses the Pulp variant of the ever-popular G.A.S.L.I.G.H.T. rules.

F: 402 Combat Patrol TM - Star Wars 
Friday, 7:00 PM, 3 hrs, Players: 8 GM: Gregory Priebe & HAWKS Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: SciFi, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Combat Patrol TM Come learn the ways of the Force or embrace the power of the Dark Side as players battle for the fate of the galaxy with the new Combat Patrol Star Wars supplement. Rules will be taught. Padawans under 14 are welcome with the participation of a playing adult

S: 395 The Germans Come to Schlegel's Ferry 
Saturday, 9:00 AM, 3 hrs, Players: 10 GM: Eric Schlegel & HAWKS Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: Pulp, Scale: 25mm, Rules: Blood & Swash 17 March 1918. The residents of Schlegel's Ferry heard a loud rumble &, looking out over the dark water, the outline of a submarine, apparently run aground, could be seen. Even with the US entry into the European war, no one ever thought the war would come to Schlegel's Ferry. The 3rd of 5 linked scenarios involving the residents of Schlegel's Ferry

S: 177  Doctor Who and the Mist From Mars 
Saturday, 1:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 4 GM: Keith Frye Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: SciFi, Scale: 28mm, Rules: 7TV 1st Ed. "This is the voice of the Mist...We know you can hear Us, Doctor..." An Albion Rocket Consortium space capsule has returned from space empty...or has it? Who are the deadly apparitions that kill with a touch? Why are our own people helping them? And what lurks behind the helmet visor of the mysterious "Major T..."? Call UNIT. Call the Doctor. Do it quickly, man!

S: 201  Pay Day! A Cowboy Caper 
Saturday, 1:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 6 GM: David Cook & HAWKS Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: Western, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Combat Patrol w/ Wild West Supplement The railroad's coming toWashout! And that means workers -- and strongboxes filled with the monthly payroll. The Sackler Gang has called in their friends and plans to collect for themselves. But the railroad has gotten wind of things and has laid on extra guards. Choose your side for a gun-blazing battle of gold and glory

S: 459   Gnome Wars: The Battle for Tsingtao
Saturday, 2:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 6 GM: James Stanton Sponsor: Brigade Games, Prize: Gnomes! Period: Gnomes, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Gnome Wars The Germans spread their breweries to the far corners of the world, including China. The German Far East Squadron control of part of the Shantung peninsula and the port at Tsingtao. An allied force of Japanese and British arrived in September 1914 to lay siege on the port city. It is the morning of November 7th, 1914, when an allied force of Japanese and British hope that last night's battle went well

S: 405  Plastic Pirates Panic Population 
Saturday, 3:00 PM, 2 hrs, Players: 8 GM: Geoffrey Graff & HAWKS Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: Age of Piracy, Scale: 40mm Lego, Rules: Plastic Pirates Pirates Penetrate Port, Plague Population, Pursue Pigs, Pillage pub. Yes, those little Lego looters have returned to the island of Plastique. A game for the youngsters, presented by the HAWKs. Reading is helpful, a parent may substitute for this ability

S: 434  GI Joe Battle of Springfield USA 
Saturday, 5:00 PM, 3 hrs, Players: 6 GM: Ronald Stalter Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: 1980's Pulp, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Where Hero's Dare Based on the comic book series GI Joe, a Real American Hero a modified version of the iron ivan pulp game Where Heros Dare we have Americas Elite anti Terrorist team G.I. Joe attacking a hidden Cobra base in the small town of Springfield USA.

S: 469 Frostgrave: Ghost Archipelago
Saturday, 7:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 8 GM: Jeffrey Hiley Sponsor: None, Prize: None Period: Fantasy, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Frostgrave: Ghost Archipelago The Ghost Archipelago appears every few centuries. Filled with steaming jungles, lost cities, deadly monsters and untold treasures. Each player takes on the role of a Heritor, a superhuman warrior, leading a crew of adventurers in the Lost Isles, searching for wealth, and the fabled Crystal Pool.

(Painting) Fantasy Figs from Iron Wind

The nasty Canadian air has permanently settled into the States.

But, with the perpetual noise of the furnace behind me, I've managed a some time downstairs at the painting bench.  Lots of cleaning and assembly, but a whopping TWO items are finished!

First off is my first paint and take figure from Fall-In! 2017.  Nothing like grabbing an Inshon from Arcana Evolved (former Ral Partha) Iron Wind Metals figs at a historical convention.

Inshon 67-103  Iron Wind Metals 

Second is my second paint and take figure (They said it was okay this year, honest!) was another Iron Wind figure, this time a stock fighter in plate mail.

Male Fighter in Plate 03-140 Iron Wind Metals

The figures are great (especially since IWM was nice enough to donate them to HMGS Hobby University).  The latest and greatest thing to make me feel old.  The realization that figures that would be $2-2.25 back in the Ral Partha days are now $4.95 apiece.  Still cheaper than Reaper and just as effective.

I'm trying to get a handle of the chaos on my bench, especially with new items taking precedence.    I'm missing a tank turret and a base for a stand of infantry, but the plastic OGRE miniatures are assembled, trimmed, and primed.

After USPS declaring my Gamecraft order scheduled to arrive on January 2, then mysteriously losing it at the Ohio border on New Years Day, I'm happy to say it arrived yesterday.  Those building are priority #1 as I prep for the season three premiere of the Pulp Game.

Winter is here, and I may have found some motivation.

Speaking of motivations, this week's Beer to Paint By was Blizzard of Hops by Tröegs.  I love hops in my beer, but I'm also smart enough to know when a bottle has the word Hops on it, it's not going to be collection of subtle flavors.  I would have liked to discover at least some warm seasonal spices, but it simply tastes like an overpowered IPA.

Another Site of My Misspent Youth Gone

As I perused social media last night, I fell upon a news story from my hometown's TV station.

For the casual reader it's a piece about a local hotel giving away its fixtures on its last day of operations.

For the emotional reader, finding out that many of the items are being donated to local charities and services really tugs at the heartstrings.

For most long-time locals, it's a story about how a mediocre at best downtown hotel is getting razed for $6 million to build a multi-million dollar aquarium/tourist trap.  (Don't ask them about what was there before they built the hotel.  That's a whole 'nother ball of wax).

For me... it's yet another part of my youth torn asunder and destroyed.  Because, before the hotel was a Days Inn, it was a Quality Inn, before that a Best Western and before that, a Sheraton, and under those chains there were local gaming conventions held that shaped me be the gamer I am today.

Starting with my first con, Lehicon III, in September of 1990, the hotel had just enough space, facilities, and parking for a couple of hundred people to play games for three days and host a decent dealer space.  To have a legitimate game convention that was ten minutes from my house was simply fantastic, and kicked off multiple decades of travelling further for cons.

Lehicon IV moved to the far larger confines of the now-defunct George Washington Motor Lodge in Allentown, and soon thereafter, the convention organizers, the Lehigh Valley Gamers Association (LVGA) disappeared.

Fortunately, one of the former members of the LVGA resurrected the local con scene with one day Bogglecons (and a few Gobblecons, CardCons, and later some more three-day Lehicons).  While many gamers remember the Wind Gap Legion Hall as the site for the majority of these cons (it was mere blocks from the organizer's house), more than a few events returned to then-Best Western ("Easton Inn").  I ran plenty of Legions of Steel, Burning Plastic, and Battletech beside the heavily chlorinated pool.

In less chemically unbalanced rooms, I ran AD&D, Talislanta, and Pulp TWERPS for tables of players.  In fact, the infamous "Cthulhu Comes to Springfield" TOON game I ran with Dr Bob had its debut in the ballroom.

I wandered the hallways of the hotel, getting into traditional gamer mischief, or trying to figure out exactly what was going on with the strange Goths in the Vampire LARP.

It should also be noted that the main area for the LARP was the above-mentioned pool area.  Chlorine and high humidity does make a Vampire LARPer happy.  

Even the descendent of Bogglecon, the fine folks who run Mepacon, ran one of their early iteratons at the Easton Inn, before finding greener pastures in the Scranton area.

It was never a looker, but it was serviceable

Over the last decade, the hotel fell into some disrepair, and became the unfortunate destination for various ne'er do wells.  Soon it will be leveled and construction of the over-rated fish peep show will begin.

Like all the game shops that have closed, and gamers that are no longer with us, this is just a piece of my life that will only remain in my memories for as long as I keep them.

What a drag it is getting old. 

(IOU) Loathar of the Dairy People

Loathar of the Dairy People 

Loathar is a Neanderthal man from 50K years ago. He belonged to the Hill tribe, but fell into a crevasse while hunting with his tribesman into an underground riverbed. There he passed out and was frozen in a block of ice. Flash forward to present day, Loathar was found in that block of ice as it was brought to a dairy factory for refrigerant purposes. He was thawed out, took a liking to the factory workers and now works as a milk delivery man. He drives around campus in a 1956 Divco delivery van. His only real goal is to make sure that milk is delivered on time and doesn’t spoil. He is dressed like Milk Man Dan from Red Meat comics, but looks like a Geico Caveman/Neanderthal.

(4)-Direction Sense – Loathar knows where he is all the time in relation to his milk truck and his milk route. He might not know how to leave a building gracefully or open a door easily, but he knows where that truck and his next stop are.

(3) – Koko loves kitten – Loathar is not very well spoken to say the least. Speaking mostly in 1st person, he struggles with concepts and proper words to use. He has learned the art of sign language and hand gestures though. He can easily communicate with others using these and reading the body language of others.

(2) – On the Hunt – Loathar struggles with modern concepts such as daily living skills. Though his milk man suit is immaculate, his personal hygiene is horrible. He also hunts for his food, like squirrels on campus or more likely road kill, and is always willing to share. He can easily approach wild creatures and/or identify various meats by sight and smell.

(1) – What is this magic? – Loathar has a lot of trouble with anything not primitive in technology. He can drive his van, but if it is anything else he must make a roll to see if he can figure it out and use it if it’s not stone tools or a bow and arrow.

Ballad of the Pigeon God #39: The Curse of Ruuna

Tridec, 1071 - Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes

While many in the party were participating in hijinks in Hydincall, Echelon took care of actual baronial duties!

• He hired some additional troops and garrisoned them Lord Athelstane's old manor.
• He had previously sent an invitation to Lady Iris to become the Baronial Magistrate.  She finally sent back her acceptance. 
• Winston Maless was named Sheriff for a salary of free room and board plus two bottles of wine
• Torm Touchberry was promoted to Captain of the Baronial Militia.  
• Jenny D'Echelon was promoted to Torm's Lieutentant.
• Heirylat and Brutus were named Baronial Tax Collectors.. under heavy scrutiny of Lady Iris.
• All three mayors of the Halfling villages of Lowdale, Welldale, and Elmshire swore fealty to the Baron and retained their offices. 
• To maintain their position with the official state church, Echelon sent a request with Rolf Wolfsblood to the Archbishop of Hydincall for a priest of Akana and the funds necessary to construct a church.  Sure, the Baron worshiped a god only worshiped by one other person in the entire country (and that guy lived in a broom closet), but requests like that put Eding in the good light. Velandro emphatically stated that he did not want that appointment. 

As Mellandria had earlier informed him of his rights and privileges as Baron, Echelon named Talis Makolin and Norm Dingleberry the first Knights of the Pigeon, Protectors of Eding, and personal bodyguards of the Baron.  Now, all of Talis' journal entries and correspondence got the effervescent:

Sir Talis Makolin, Knight of the Pigeon, Bard, Lover, and personal bodyguard to Baron Echelon of Eding.

29 TriDec 1071 - Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Dag the Kobold returned to the Chateau with a Centaur, a Minotaur, a kobold hiding in a suit of armor, and a dog!  He requested shelter for his friends for the night, which Carthon d'Echelon agreed to (Echelon was reviewing his new Baronial troops on the other side of town.)

31 TriDec 1071 - Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Ashe, Ariel, Babette, and Mellandria retuned from delivering taxes, along with a new friend, Sterling Riverbend, Quarter-Ogre.  No one mentioned their arrest for cat burglary, although Babette was incredibly emotional reuniting with her newborn twins.

After going through pleasantries, and Mellandria serving the Baron with the royal edict increasing the next taxes, they introduced two gentlemen, Johannes Brant and Otto Baldung, who asked a private audience with the Baron.  They acquiesced to a counter-offer of Mellandria and Talis in the same room, Timmy and Dag's children running outside in the mud adding to the ambiance. 

At dinner, Baron Echelon, hosted the gentleman as guests of honor and informed the community that he and a select group were to go on a diplomatic mission to Ruuna, a Duchy in Ras-Prythax.  The following would leave tomorrow morning.

Baron Echelon: Baron of Eding, priest of the Tshang Kai Shing, lover of pigeons.
Norm: Knight of the Pigeon, dwarven warrior with an outrageous French accent.
Talis: Knight of the Pigeon, Bard, Lover, and personal bodyguard to Baron Echelon of Eding.
Melandria: Baronial scibe, mage.
Velandro: Ardent priest of Akana.  Trainer of a faithful family of kobold acolytes.

Both Dag the Kobold and Pathfinder the wolf were disappointed that their masters kept them at the Chateau, but obeyed.

2 QuaDec 1071 - Town of Fluchton, Duchy of Ruuna, Ras-Prythax Empire
The party and the two gentleman arrived in Fluchton, the Duchal capital of Ruuna.  The gentlemen's story was quickly confirmed: Duke Stephen of Ruuna had apparently gone insane with the following Ducal proclamations mad in just the last few weeks:

• One could only ride a horse backwards
• No fires were allowed after dusk
• No one could eat meat, because it is all to be given to the horses.

Mellandria tried to go through correct channels to get an audience with the Duke, but were simply told to come back tomorrow.

Meantime,  the others tried to sneak into the Duchal barracks to find any info on the Duke's trusted (and possibly still sane) advisor, Lord Drakos, failed miserably.

4 QuaDec 1071 - Town of Fluchton, Duchy of Ruuna, Ras-Prythax Empire

After two days of getting refused an audience with the Duke by being told to "Come back tomorrow," a new Duchal proclamation was made, banishing all dwarves, arresting those who stayed, shaving them and stretching them on the rack until they were minimum adult height for a human.   Ruuna bordered the Kingdom of Crosedes on their western border, but they shared a long southern border with the Dwarves of Skyforge.   This was going to create far greater problems in the duchy than Talis winning all the money the town guard had in a game of cards, forcing at least him to change inns three times since his arrival. 

Norm left town with the other dwarves to head to Skyforge, in hopes to speak with the Dwarven Lords. His goal was to keep the dwarves from immediately attacking.  The rest could only wish him luck.

They attempted to meet with the Duke multiple times, but were constantly refused.  They did manage to get an audience with Stanislav, the Archbishop of Fluchton,  but he was completely incompetent. In later conversations, Velandro even declared that he probably wasn't even a spell-casting cleric!

There's no anger like drunken dwarven refugee anger!

 35 Tridec 1071 - Chateau d'Echelon, Barony of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes  *FLASHBACK*

The Elven ranger Ashe, had been through a lot the last two years.  After leaving Agenmoor to wander the pine barrens of Crosedes, he had been killed, saved by a goddess, eaten by a dragon, transported to another realm, stared down inter-dimensional beings, had his hair turned white in that incident, and once he was returned to Crosdes, reunited with his brother Binklen after years of separation. 

Now the elf was torn between spending more time with his brother, who certainly loved nature but had no training as a ranger or druid, and some crazy prophecy that had him leading the group for legendary weapons and saving the world.

He was helping the housekeeper, Dew with hanging some cheap tapestries in the hall of the upstairs bedroom, when he heard a door creak open and the legless form of Mohammad, rolling down the hall on a board with four dwarven casters underneath, singing a little ditty:

"See the shining light Yes I'm gonna take you where starlite flies right before your eyes..."

"Oh, hello Ashe, I see you're studying the finer points of textiles?"

"I would, Mohammad, so long as they don't magically transport to a dimension of madness..."

"Then I advise you to avoid Dew while she darns the bedding..."

"That's still a better option than the prophecies kicking around.  I know the rest laugh when they realize I live for hundreds of years, but twelve years is still as many days for an elf as it is a human.  With as crazy as things are, I might not have time later to make up the missed time."

"Then go, Ashe." 

"Errr. what?"

"Family is a finite resource.  Gold, glory, power, they all can be cultivated into a bumper harvest.  It is nigh impossible for you to replace a lost crop of your soul when you lose time to tend to your family." 

"Well, that's a good reason, Mo.  Family bonds should be stronger.  Thanks!"

The ranger finished hanging the tapestry and went downstairs, to talk things over with his brother.  Mohammad turned his little scooter around and headed back to his broom closet,

"Anyway, nobody else likes Binklen.  He makes the rest seem normal and boy oh boy, are they not normal.  Two fewer elves in this stinkin' town will keep us from the watchful eye of those that will soon seek to destroy us." 

GM Notes: The Baron's first diplomatic mission is not working out too well, but not unexpected, as the Baron and his advisers have zero experience in such things. We've already left part of the group back in Eding, and now Ashe has gone. Splitting the party, especially hundreds of miles apart, does not usually generate positive results.

A map for the Duchy of Ruuna will appear next episode. 

Next: #40- The Caves of Xanathon

Viking Cats



A little humor to fill in some gaps during the holidays.