END OF THE ROAD
After defeating the Lightning God to the North
And the God of Death to the South,
Bo'Non'as, Oopsa, and Uha'ul had brokered
A truce with the Shiny Gods.
With two of the splinter tribes re-united,
It was time to face the scariest Space God
Of them all: The Red-Eyed God
With Uh'aul busy preaching to the masses
About the wonders of the Moth God,
Bo'Non'as and Oopsa travelled west to search for
The rumored caves of the evil god....
With their success re-uniting the Kurabanda tribes growing, it was time for Bo'Non'as and Oopsa to try their luck with the final Space God, the dreaded Red-Eyed God. Even worse for the duo, the services of Uha'ul, the self-declared prophet of the Moth-God, would be unavailable. He was focused on building his faith among the masses, and growing the altar/statue to his god, which had started with pilfered parts from the Shiny Gods.
Oopsa somehow knew that the Kurabanda following the Red-Eye God lived in the cave network beneath the trees. This subterranean expedition would require much more help.
With their fame and legend, the still-bloodied duo were able to recruit four more Kurabanda volunteers to help on their quest.
- Mohawk - one of the Kurabanda guard, off duty for the day.
- Slingo - makeshift sling throwing tree nuts to and fro.
- The Streak - the fastest Kurabanda alive.
- Pete - a bored Kuraband with nothing better to do.
The Red-Eye God's lair was precariously close to the giant razor grass fields bordering the forest. Living on the ground was dangerous enough, but so close to the gargantuan beasts that EAT the razor grass was pure insanity.
Within the banks of an old river bed, were a series of Kurabanda-sized holes. The heavy smell of smoke came out of the holes.
"Anybody smell that?" Oopsa asked.
"Sorry, I'm still drinking my Plantain cacao, dulls my senses." was all Pete could master.
They dove down into the holes, which lead to a network of tunnels. Inside the larger chambers were a series of Kurabanda hut frames with half-completed beds. No Kurabanda could be found, but a small collection of baked goods could be found. They tasted of burnt cacoa and overripe kiwi.
Beyond the baked goods, were a collection of bodies.
Bo'Non'as spit out the remaining food he was chewing...
Oopsa took one look at the bodies and knew the cause of death. "These kin were killed by the weapons of the Space Gods. All two score of them were slain in one of their names. There was no way to escape."
Further into the network, the uncovered Hairless One containers strewn everywhere, all of them empty.
Mohawk was surprised by something further down the passage. "Hey, you're supposed to be dead."
A female Kurabanda emerged out of a basket, staggering towards the group. There were no obvious wounds on her. Bo'Non'as tried to grab her, but was surprised when she attacked him with a large wooden spoon. Bo'Non'as was not phased by the female, but also could not figure out her rambling tongue, the only thing in their language that made sense was.
"He'll kill us all, why am I alive. No place is safe. He killed all of them, including his own warriors, he's that powerful..."
"I might as well go home again... to die..."
And with that, the female wandered out of the caves, destination: to the east.
Bo'Non'as tried to follow the tracks of the larger Space God, but got lost, and needed the help of Oopsa to exit the caves.
"They are all gone, we have succeeded, let's go home." Oopsa declared.
"I believe we have to continue our quest, just to be safe ," Bo'Non'as countered.
Oopsa nodded in approval, "You're right, of course, but if I die on this quest, I will be very cross with you tomorrow."
"Fair enough."
The outside tracks of the Red-Eyed God were easier to follow, even if the undergrowth was far thicker than any other area of the forest. The biggest worry from the six were that the God was moving further west, closer and closer to the razor grass.
Pete was the first to leave the group, his body snatched up and flown into the trees. Most of Pete's body flew back down to the group, minus his head. Everyone dodged the body parts, although Mohawk got splattered with blood.
Somewhere up in the darkened forest canopy, was a figure, only distinguished from the leaves by a pair of red, glowing eyes.
The five Kurabanda scampered up the trees to surround the God, even if no full plan was enforce. Bo'Non'as swung to a tree closer to the Red-Eye God.
The whole crew emitted their new battle cry, "FOR PETE!!!"
As they reached the canopy, Mohawk was no longer with their group. His scream was soon heard a few hundred foot away.
Bo'Non'as grabbed a vine and swung right into action, The streak sprinting and leaping from branch to branch.
Oopsa was far more cautious and calculated with his movement. It was far more dangerous up here than in civilized Kurabanda territory.
With a hiss like a snake, Bo'Non'as struck out with his spear. There was no reptile, rather a long stick with an odd noise and a flashing light. The stick detonated, knocking Bo'Non'as out of the tree.
Kurabanda are notorious for surviving falls, but the explosion, and the confusion-inducing flash threw off his senses. More flashes came out of the tree canopy.
The others could just see Bo'Non'as fall out of the tree and land hard on the forest floor below.
The Streak moved forward, and discovered green liquid all over the leaves and branches.
"The God bleeds! He bleeds green!"
Oopsa was despondent.
"Noooooooooo!"
He ran down the tree to help his friend, leaving Slingo and the Streak to fight a deity. Slingo's barrage of tree-nuts seemed to cull the explosions, flashes, and any sense of the Red-Eyed God.
Oopsa desperately tried to revive his friend and ally, but he could only hold him, as the last traces of his soul left his body for afterworld.
Slingo and the Streak descended from the trees to join Oopsa in mourning the loss.
"He's not dead, he's not dead." Oopsa grabbed Bo'Non'as' arm, lifted it up, then let go. It crashed onto the ground.
"I think he's dead, boss," the other Kurabanda stated.
"No, no, no! He's got to be alive." Oopsa jumped atop his fallen friend, and began beating upon his chest, over and over again, trying everything to instill the spark of life back into Bo'Non'as.
After a long and pained thrashing, Oopsa simply stopped. "Let's carry him back to the village."
Slingo was in utter shock, "I thought Bo'Non'as would live forever."
Oopsa took most of the weight of the body, and they hiked back to the main Kurabanda village.
Taking a lift up to the village, everyone was in utter disblief.
Even the well respected Boz Diggity was unable to revive him.
"This is the second-worst travesty of the day."
"Wait a minute, what was the first?"
"Someone stole the base of the new Moth God statue, right from under our noses. Never seen anything like it!"
The body of Bo'Non'as was draped in plantain leaves and peels A few words were spoken, and he was lifted into the great sky catapult, to launch the body into the sky.
Oopsa had few words during the ceremony, "Bo'Non'as.... was... our friend....to some.... and average cook.... a mediocre personality, but at the end of the day, he was there... may he fly high... fly high into the sky."
With a flip of a lever, Bo'Non'as flew into the sky. Halfway upon his ascent, a series of lights could be seen near him in the sky. The lights flew straight up into the space, while no one observed to the original body descend back onto the planet.
With that, the Space God War was over. Oopsa simply took up his rightful place at the side of Dipsa, the Chosen One, wary of another attack of the Space Gods.
At the end of the funeral, the camera pans up into the sky, following the lights that ascended. Those lights turn out to be a Z-95 Headhunter, barely serviceable, with a green R2 unit. In the cockpit was a Transdosian, wearing a typical X-Wing helmet. He was speaking with the frazzled droid.
"Don't you worry, my little friend, just get me to Alderaan so I can meet my friends and I'll find you a nice new home, after they clean you up and wipe your memory. I'll fetch a pretty credit, and you'll be better off avoiding those monkey-men, R2-H8."
GM Notes: And with that, the Saga of Bo'Non'as and Oopsa, an epic tale of throw away characters from the main campaign, has come to a close. The War of the Space Gods was effectively the four pirates from the outpost travelling to the Kurabanda forest and enforcing their ways with "Hairless One" technology, to avoid the cleansing wrath of the Empire.
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| RIP - Bo'Non'as, Warlord of the Kurabanda |
Next: We return to the main campaign with Episode #26 - The Pretio, Six Months Later.
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