The Historicon 2026 Gnome Wars Mega-Game is Back!

I recently announced that neither I nor my daughter will  be attending Fall-In! 2025 this year.  Our gnome-positive side of HMGS Next Gen will not be running any Gnome Wars games at Fall-In, and I'm unsure how much we're going to do for Cold Wars in February.  

This past week, we had a meeting after our weekly game session, and it's official as a blog post can make.  

Historicon 2026 (July 15-19, 2026) will see the return of the true and proper...

GNOME WARS MEGA-GAME!!!!!!!

It's been awhile since we had one of our multi-table spectacles...  It's will be over 14 years since the last three-table  game involving colonialism, volcanos, and a flotilla of gnome-helmed ships!  

The Island of the Cannibal Gnomes

The concept is pretty simple:  We have three separate tables, three separate events with their own objectives, running simultaneously.   The best part, figures, units, and armies can travel to and from each game...  Of course to get from one end of the other, one needs to commandeer a sailing vessel and traverse the sea, where a no-holds-barred naval brawl is taking place. 

The Sea board, between the Cannibal Island and New Providence

It might take the entire session, but I have seen figures to completely across the ball room before we call the games.

New Providence has their own problems...

I figured the south seas, pirate, cannibal theme game was good to return to, especially with the recent casting of the Hawaiian/Tiki/Pacific Islander Gnomes.    Each table will have 8 normal slots for players, with the Gnome Rule applying to all (Bring a fully painted Gnome Wars unit from Brigade Games, and we will find you a spot.) Obviously bringing your own Island Gnomes (or Pirates... or British Marines) might get you a better command/objective. 

As of this moment, we're definitely looking at a Saturday afternoon timeslot for the Mega-Game.   "But what about all the normal Gnome/Next Gen mayhem you guys in the cool baseball jerseys normally put together?"

Fear not gnome-believers! 

Of course there will be other gnome games, probably with palm trees for the Island Gnomes.  The joust is still Friday night (although we probably won't run overlapping ones like last year. Then again...).  

The newest game in our arsenal isn't new, just not as far a throwback as the Mega-Game.

Enter Palaeo Diet: Seafood Edition.

Palaeo Diet: Eat or Be Eaten is a fun rules set for playing prehistoric animal hunts. In one of his fever dreams, friend of the blog, and fellow Stout Gnome Mike Lung created an underwater version of the game, which did make an appearance at the rogue Historicon 2021 (In November in King of Prussia of that year).   Details are loose, but I certainly foresee gnomes games, and smaller games of Palaeo Diet entertaining attendees. 

Of course, all of this is subject to change... but it's an exciting start... and maybe I'll get the Island Gnomes finished by then. 

Satyr Art Studios Space Dwarves

 I'm not sure how I haven't mentioned Satyr Art Studios.  Most of their sculpts are perfect Oldhammer Fantasy, but they do have a nice range of sci-fi stuff especially some fantastic Space Dwarves. 

And where else are we going to find them flying around on jet-powered hoverboards that look this good?

Goblin Guards from Brigade Games

One of the pick-ups from Historicon were some new metal 25mm goblins made directly from Brigade Games.  

(Edit: I did find the third goblin for the set, painted it that up, used my time machine to add him to this post)

They're solid, easy to to paint, and might be the only two goblins I have that are actually green (Remember, all my goblins/Gretchin are painted up as "Blue Martians." 

As of October, the goblins still aren't on either of their websites. 

In the Queue:  More Rebel Commandos, the Tiki Gnomes, and a small pile of miscellaneous fun.

Project: 350 -  Still in the early year reorganization at 482 (286/196) from 483 posts (283/200) last week.  Hopefully the placeholders I have for October will get posted on time.   With 2 1/2 months left in 2025, I have 26 posts ready to go, most of a big January project finished....

🧙‍♂️(Georic Gazetteer) The Knights of Talmark

The Knights of Talmark

Pantheon:  Norse w/ Kulervo influences

Ruled By: Duke High Commander Abbi Keulkit
Capital: Reveal

Other Cities:  Narm, Parmi, Dugeaville

Language: Wyrmnalian and Trade Prythax hybrid

Flag/Emblem:  A black, mailed armed, bent, holding a golden sword, on a white field.

Coinage: Wyrmnal Standard
Important Personas: Prince Gustav

Alliances: Casual self-preservation agreements with Pohjola, Kulervo, and Nevskia

Hostilities:  Wyrmnal, Regan

Open Warfare/Skirmishing: Palled-Galmar, to protect the trade routes to Ilvablight and Khurin-Azur  

Intrigues:  The High Commander is trying to establish a hereditary transfer of power, to avoid Prince Gustav from taking power.  Unfortunately, his only child is a daughter, and he is trying desperately to marry her off.  Talmark readily sends spies into Ras-Prthax. 

Duke High Commander Abbi Keulkit

Demi-Humans:  Half-Orcs (8%), Dwarves (7%) in the eastern highlands, Gnomes (3%)

Magickal Devices:  The Grid of Dual Energies, Steigorm's Bad of Gaseous Formations, and a Vorpal Sword

Thumbnail Sketch:  
When the Second Ferasean Empire fell to the Galmar Barbarians, a detachment of Knights of Feraso fled north with what and who they could bring.  The established a militocracy along the Mer Nod, and for hundreds of years now, honed their skills on the Purvmoe of Nevskia, and native of Pohjola and Wrymnal.  There is a sharp difference between the ruling military class and the peasants that support them.

Wyrmnal crippled the Talmark navy over a decade ago, and there has been no advancement on rebuilding.  

The most significant contribution to the continents is Talmark is the largest producer of amber.

Religion: Most peasants worship either Wyrmnalian or Kulervan Gods, while the military class has embraced Norse Gods while integrating trappings of Akana.  The only faiths banned with harsh prejudice are the Galmar Elemental Cults.   Of course, there are rumors among the peasants that the knights participate in some depraved activities, involving sacrificial rites. 

Geography of Note: 

The Moonmirror Lake  – The Pool of Prophecy: A perfectly still lake said to reflect not only the sky but visions of the past, present, and future. Local pagan priestesses use its waters for divination, and some travelers seek it out to ask the gods for guidance. It is whispered that a single stone cast into the lake can summon ancient spirits who will answer one question—but at a price.

The Silver Roads of Riga – The Underground Merchant Highways: A massive network of subterranean tunnels and highways, built by ancient dwarven and human merchants to connect the great trade cities of the Baltic. Many paths are still active, but some lead to lost chambers filled with forgotten treasures—and dangers.

Mentions of the Country in the Blog: 

Buring Trogs Rule #31 - The Talmark ambassador to Parthia is caught spying Parthia and is killed after being recalled.

Ballad of the Pigeon God #75 - Talmark falls in line with taxation and direction of the 3rd Ancien Empire.

Lost Dispatches of Feraso #20 - Elsderth Greyhawk details the lands above The Weissmach.

Lost Dispatches of Feraso #28 - The Knights once ruled the territories including Nevskia and Regan.

Lost Dispatches of Feraso #34 -  Sir Erilec of the Knights of Talmark attempts to slay the green dragon  Vesikant with the help of the Order of Merit, but fails. 

Lost Dispatches of Feraso #84 -  Famed Adventurer and Gladiator, Ned Overland, born in Talmark.

Gnome Wars – Pacific Islanders Over at Spoils of Wargames

The Brigade Games Hawaiian Gnomes are a hit.  Spoils of Wargames just released their painted version of the "Pacific Islanders."  

The Rapa nui heads (aka Easter Island) are the loudest and most influential Gnome Wars faction, but that doesn't mean I stop working on some Tiki-influence heads, using various carving styles and wood types used throughout Polynesia.... plus a few stone heads. 

(Gamma World) Not a Test #92 - The Fair-Town Queen's Joust

Our heroes, the De Facto Explorers,  have decided do let their secret Toard Jakey facility lay low, after an odd, and radioactive break-in.  It's time for the Queen's Joust in Fair-Town, and every member has an agenda....

================= 

Lathar Bracken: A pure-strain human from River Bend.  He's got the muscle, the face, and a mount for most encounters.  Lathar's trusty beast of burden, No Name, travels wherever he does.   Looking for trouble in all the right places. Last year's jousting champion of Fair-Town.  

Sneaky Pete: A mutated weasel scout.  Pete's telepathy and night vision take a backseat when he whips out his electrical powers.  Apparently addicted to his newly uncovered yellow powder found at "The Pool House"

Sonny Helianthus: a nearly 10' tall sentient sunflower artifact examiner with trusted Restorationist ties. Knowledgeable,  but not a good one with device repairs or upgrades. 

Slitheran Wurmtail (aka Squiggles): a mutated earthworm scout, in impromptu power armor, looking for trouble in all the wrong places,  and finding it often.   He  has been subject to genetic testing and developed super-human strength, a more human body, and a thick coat of shaggy white hair.

Thunnelda Haycock:  A peculiar local woman, who has a penchant for wandering the surrounding territories for particular oddities, but has become the fiancé of Lathar

================================================================

The second day of the Queen's Joust in Fair-Town had brought some reasonable results, including a victory for returning champion, Lathar Bracken.  But the disappearance of Squiggles had forced a replacement jouster to be found.  Lathor was uneasy when they appointed Elona, blue-skinned Kirothian Chief and former lover of Lathar, as Squiggles' replacement.

Soon Lathar realized his ex was the least of his issues.  Elona's competition was one Thunnelda, the current fiancé of Lathar...

Lathar got a first row bench for the joust, still flabbergasted by his fiancé signing up for the joust behind her back.  

No one questioned where Thunnelda got a horse from, or a bath, or make-up to cover her black block facial tattoos.  If it wasn't for the hinge-covered armor, no one could recognize her....

Thunnelda cleans up well... but by who?

THUNNELDA VS ELONA

Neither of the women were proficient riders, much less professional jousters.  Languid mounts and glancing hits plagued the passes.  Despite a sudden attack by an escaped gaggle of geese on the last pass, Thunnelda wins 2-0! 

After some quick celebration, the Explorers investigated some betting action. Most of the betting action was literally underground, in root cellars, all run by a gang of mole rats.   Reading through the action sheet, Lathar easily smiled:  He was 3:2 odds to win the whole thing for a second years in a row. 

"I wonder what the parlays are...."

Pete made some domars providing insider information about Lathar and Thunnelds, but it didn't see to adjust the line...

Pete placed bets for the Explorers, a parlay having Lathar winning, and much higher odds for Thunnelda winning it all. 

The night, Lathar, Pete, and Sonny returned to the Clockwork Carnival, celebrating their success and trying to figure what was going on with Thunnelda.  Pete started conversing with the townsfolk.  

It appeared Fair-Town took in a number of refugees, improving defenses, but avoiding the fighting down near KIA.  There was never any contact with the Overlord of Bonn-Parr like Riverbend had, although there were a LOT more mutant animals visiting this year...

Day 3 of the Tournament

It was a wet and muddy morning.  Sonny had already wandered off to the markets to find items on his Restorationist shopping list.   While Pete and Lathar were eating, Squiggles finally wandered back from where he came.  He was dressed in his foppish, frilly Renaissance outfit, with near tears and holes.  Heck even patches of his fur were missing!  

Squiggles sits at the table, "Anyone have any.... man, I have a headache.  I love this town, but it always does a number on me..."

Pete:  What the hell happened to you? 

Squiggles: Two words, my friend.  Best Party Ever!  He took the cup of syrup and sucked it down in one sip. 

Thunnelda finally arrives, even fewer words than normal.  

Lathar: Hi, Babe...

Thunnelda: Whatever.... She walked towards the main door.

Lathar:  Where are you going?

Thunnelda:  Getting ready to kick your ass later.  

After many months, Pete finally found a craftsman in the market that could craft the cloak he was dreaming of, and for only 200 domars.  The Minstrel Stitchweaver asked for a week to be ready.  He also alluded to a cool costume the queen was wearing for the joust final.  

GROG THE ROCK TROLL VS THUNNELDA

It seemed like Grog could simply pushover the untrained Thunnelda, but the girl from Riverbend bobbed and weaved. There was no way to unhorse the behemoth, but all she needed was her lance to land true once. 

Grog!!!!!

Thunnelda wins 4-3! 

LATHAR VS SIR CARRION

The muck and the mire bogged down the passes for Lathar and the mutant vulture.  

Sir Carrion

After the first pass, Sir Carrion and his mount slid right into the Joust Souvenir tent,

Fair-Town Souvenir Tent, RIP

With the second pass, Lathar only disarmed Sir Carrion, the lance flying into the crowd and killing a pie vendor.  

On the third pass, both registered light hits, causing SUDDEN DEATH.  

Lathar kept No-Name out of the mud long enough to build up a head of steam and garner another light blow to win, 2-1. 

THE JOUST FINALS - THUNNELDA VERSUS LATHAR

With a full crowd in attendance, the Queen of Fair-Town makes her appearance.  As she chases her tail while sitting in her throne, she begins chasing her tail, flames shot out, a design by Minstrel.

The Queen! 

Lathar and Thunnelda traded equal blows on the first two passes.  Maybe is was fixed, maybe it was the mud, perhaps it was second thoughts, but Thunneld failed to reach the strike zone, thus earning Lathar 1 penalty point. 

Lathar wins 4-2.  

Thunnelda didn't even stay for the awarding of trophies.  Lathar earned his spot on the town council, and received a plasma lance.... which appeared to be a light up novelty item found at the Toard Jakey.  

The "Plasma Lance" Batteries Not Included

Pete collected his winnings and the Explorers tried to figure out how obnoxious "TWO-TIME JOUST CHAMPION LATHAR BRACKEN" could be .

GM Notes:  We actually used "To Cry a Joust," our normal HMGS convention game rules for the jousting sub-game.  The joust betting information was crafted by my ChatGPT Gamma World conversation that keeps going.  So many parlays, so many side-bets, which I quickly commandeered as a random event/critical failure list. 

Steve's quote from halfway in the session:  It's like we're in the diner scene from Pulp Fiction.  We've been all wandering in multiple directions, and all arrived back here....

Next: #93 - The Azure Oracle

(Brutal Quest) Retrieving the Gilded Porcine

I had realized as I was updating my little spreadsheets and blog data that, although I've played Planet 28 and I've had some fun with it, I still had not tried it's fantasy cousin, Brutal Quest.  Brutal Quest's core  seems to be a bit more robust, with Brutality, and a healthier experience system based on it, so I'm beginning a few test runs with the rules. 

Breaking out some of the OG Reaper Mouslings from the early 90s, and the 3rd Edition D&D Twig Blights, I hastily statted them out to be somewhat equal and grabbed the small map included with the print copy of the rules: 

Part of the use of Brutal Quest is to emulate the greater narrative ideas I uncovered with Tales From Farpoint Using Rory's Story Cubes.  This scenario was dipping my toes into using Story Cubes and seeing how horrible I made the units.  

The scenario was simple:  The Mouslings needed to investigate the old well and see if the Cursed Gilded Porcine was there.  Interrupting their mission was a pack of Twig Blights coming out of the nearby forest.

The OG Mouslings.... 

The footmice were statted WYSIWIG,   Green Sword had the Persuade talent, Gray Hat could traverse difficult terrain, and Scrye, the Red Mouse Mage was poor in combat, but could cast Fireball (d10+6 damage to one target within LOS on a successful Psyche role) and Teleport (move to any spot within LOS). 

The Twig Blights of the Well

The Twigs were a simple group of monsters, low stats for everything (melee was the highest at a 4).  They were all surefooted, so they might develop a tactical advantage.  The Mouslings might be able to simply strike them hard and scare them off.

Using the Lone Warriors expansion for solo play, I rolled a new Agility score each turn for the Twig Blights (Initiative is in order of highest Agility to lowest amongst the figures.)

The Twigs charged over the bridge at the mice.  The three Mice-at-Arms simply parted to give Scrye a clear line of sight, and he rambling brambles with not one but TWO fireballs!    Fireball in the game is a single action spell, dealing d10+6 damage to one target, with the chance of continuing fire damage.   The Twigs were weakend, and only have 16 hit points each, so the blasts were enough for both of them to fail, break morale, and turn tail and run.  

Boom!  

The Mice-at-Arms charged forward, wounding a number of them, and splintering the Twigs attack.  

In the subsequent turns, it became a bit of slog.  Lots of missed rolls, and two-on-one fights that didn't pan out as suspected delayed the battle.   One of the broken Twigs rallied and rejoined the fray, meanwhile Scrye used one more two more fireballs before finally getting attacked by one very resilient Twig.  

The one thing I found interesting in the rules is Brutality.  As the characters wade further and further into combat, their rage and pain allow them to fight harder and achieve miraculous things.   Characters gain Brutality by certainly actions (Wounding an enemy each time is 1,  Rolling max damage is 3, Slaying a character is 0.  

Brutality can be cashed in at any time, such as improving skill rolls for an action (1), a reroll (3),  and even cashing in Brutality at the end of a session to increase a core skill by 1 (6 points).  

Scrye's indiscriminate spell use earned him a LOT of Brutality, and when it looked like a rogue Twig and just about to charge him, and cause a lot of havoc,  Scrye cashed in 5 Brutality for "The Characer deals 1d10 damage to their opponent.  Opponent may make armor rolls. "  It was enough to kill the Twig and cast a Teleport spell over to the unguarded well.  It did take four turns, but they recovered the pig, and the one surviving Twig ran off into the woods to warn the others.  Huzzah!  

Carnage!  But the pig is ours! 

The Mouslings didn't lose any figures, the routed Twigs had two run off the table, two return unphased, and two so battered they were simply placed near the brambles to finish their short time left.  

Brutal Quest is specifically designed to match a certain old school play style.  The repetitive die rolls and bookkeeping definitely sent me back to simpler times (when I had more time to keep track of this time of stuff.).  While I'm expanding my sci-fi game now using Fistful of Lead, I will play with a number of other scenarios for Brutal Quest, even improving the Mouslings for the next time.