Cold Wars 2013 - GNOMES!!!

With a name like Gaming with the Gnomies, you didn't expect at least a full post dedicated to all things gnomes?  Shame on you!

Like I had mentioned in my Friday post, Jim "The Gnome Guy" Stanton was forced to cancel the Friday 11am slot due to family and weather concerns, but managed to show up to run the game anyway. 

Here's a little secret I have, but don't tell any of the other "Stout Gnomes" who help run games:  I absolutely dread the regular twenty player extravaganza.  They drain my psyche and make me go hoarse the week after for little reward.  The idea of participating in a Gnome Wars game with only eight players total was too tempting.

First off, a shout out to Bill, whose pot o' gold mortar will help their opponents "Taste the Rainbow" of death.  I also like the redneck nurse from the Confederates being used to serve a more refined whiskey to the ailing troops.

The morning scenario was "The Battle of the Bees" from the Battle Tanga.  It essentially combined that battle with some of the other engagements around the rail line outside of town.  Each Allied unit, a collection of British, Sikh, Irish and Highlanders, had a separate objective once they reached the town. 

Although the Allies could not be touched by the German guns as they trekked through the jungle, there was the constant threat of killer bees.  At the end of every turn an Allied unit was still in the jungle, their player would choose a number between 1 and 6.  The GM would roll, and if their number came up, that unit was beset by killer bees and would have d6 figures run away d10 inches in a random direction.   This mechanic was a mixed bag:  it slowed down the Sikhs to a crawl, since their poor morale forced them to remain in base-to-base contact through the game.  For my British marines, it was a boon, as they "charged" towards the rail line to avoid the bees.  One of our poor Highlander units hugging the table edge was decimated as bees chase a 1/3 of them off the board!

The Bee-shy Highlanders Regroup and Move On

Once the Allies reached the tree line, both sides began trading fire, with minimal losses.  As the units charged across the open ground they were met by the sounds of a train coming into the station!  The German reinforcements from Longido Mountain had arrived!  The Irish made quick work of them with an extremely lucky mortar hit right on the tank of the engine.   The surviving Germans in the cars crawled out and set up a defensive position around this new piece of terrain.

The Germans make a stand

The German Center and Left flank fell back into the town with Sikhs and Highlanders in pursuit.  The British lined up on the track and traded volley fire with the machine gun nest atop the hospital, while their commanders and attack dogs tried to turn the corner of the German line. 

The Highlanders swarmed the hospital, losing a great number of men to clear out the bottom, as the remaining British line took out the machine gun team and descended into the melee along the tracks.

This might take awhile

The Germans quickly surrendered thereafter, and the Irish could finally take a well-deserved break....

The Gnome Joust

The Joust is the high point of social gaming for me.  Get a little rowdy, drink a little beer, talk a little trash with no repercussions.

The Jousting Arena is set.

I don't know where Jim got the jousting rules from, but they're ridiculously easy, yet produce some great moments.  Each match is three rounds with the highest score winning, unless you unhorse your opponent, which results in immediate victory.  It's double elimination and a perfect opportunity to show use any type of gnome cavalry, as well as custom gnomes (and a few dinosaurs).

The Black Gnome by Mike Lung

Unlike previous tournaments, where I got unhorsed on the first pass of my two matches by six year olds, I fared considerably well.  I managed to defeat two of the dreaded "Canadian Jousters", finally lost a match and worked my way to the loser's bracket final, only to be defeated by one of my previous Canadian conquests.
Awful Cheese Hulk (from Outer Space)

The rest of the night was sitting around and trying out Mike Lung's wackiest creation to date, Awful Cheese Hulk.  Using the Reaper Space Mouslings, a lot of putty, and a Swiss cheese scrap booking hole punch, Mike has created a fun, whimsical game combining Space Hulk with Awful Green Things from Outer Space.  The creatures the mice fight are clumps of moldy sentient cheese that pay homage to the Awful Green Things.

The mice failed their mission miserably, and only managed one figure back to the ship. 

Into the Cheese Hulk

You need a hot hand to win this game

Another secret, I had never played any version of Space Hulk until that night.  After one game, I can see just how tedious it can become.  If I have to choose a map tile space boardgame, I'll stick with Legions of Steel.  I even handed Mike a copy of the rules so he can integrate Space Gnomes (from Olley's Armies) into the fray.
The Saturday Mega-Game

Saturday afternoon was three interconnected Gnome Wars games to represent the Battle of Tanga.  Not completely historically accurate, but there was a "proper" Tanga game being played at the same time if you were a purist.

Table 1: The Amphibious Assault

The amphibious landing back in 1914 was uncontested, and ours largely was too.  There was a tribe of cannibals who had captured a few gnomes (and a dog) as a side objective.


Table Two: The Rail Line

If the gnomes got across table one, they ended up on the same edge of table two.  Very familiar board from Friday morning, with Killer Bees harassing everyone involved.  Three German players were set up here from the start, as well as a few "advance" units to keep everyone busy.  One realization everyone made, not all nationalities or units were not technically invading.  Some were delivering beer, others were rescuing the bakery, etc.  With some common sense (and common courtesy) the Germans only had to worry about those who wanted to take the rail line or conquer the city.  Figuring that out with some of the players was easier said than done.

Table Three:  Tanga

Table three was the final objective for most of the players, but it started with a lot of troops already in town.  The Germans held the customs house in the center.  Two units of Russians held the tavern across the square.  British marines waiting for relief holed up in the two story structure to the left, and a true army of Irish (about 100+) mustered in the trees.  The Irish needed to go in the opposite direction of the other players, attack the pirates on table one, and rescue their kidnapped leader, King Stanton.  All looked good, until we dropped 150 Znombies (Gnome Zombies) into the town square!   Set up in 25 figure herds, some were directed by the one GM, Cam, while others wandered aimlessly, only attacking if they came within an inch of a figure.

Cannibals and their buffet

Sikh Cavalry on Tigers

The first appearance of the Russian Bear Cavalry.  They got eaten by Znombies

Russians defending the tavern and beer truck.  German defenders are ready for the invaders.  Znombies wander in the distance.

Znombies wandering around the town square

Flamethrower Tank burning Znombies while the Irish Goose-steppers try to get off the board.

More Irish Cav tries to run past the Znombies

The Irish feel like chicken tonight

EVERYONE descends onto table two... and the gloves come off

It may be no surprise that I ran the Tanga table, so most of the pictures came from there.  The invasion force sort of sputtered, until the Sikh players with four fully intact units decided to discard diplomacy once they reached Tanga and tried to wipe out any non-Allied unit.  They were defeated, but at great loss.  The Russians barely held onto the tavern, the znombies were defeated, and the Irish managed to cross three full boards, rescue their King, and almost make it back to Tanga with only znombie related casualties.  In other words, just a regular Gnome Wars con game.

With 30 players, 4 GMs, and over 1200 gnomes, it was our biggest event yet.    I hate to see what we have in store for next Cold Wars.