It's actually been awhile since we I dusted off IOU for a game, but our Gamma World session was going to heavily focus on the 9ft tall, four armed mutant sunflower, Sonny, and with his player's absence, I was adamant we were going to play something...
In a SFW setting, this is what I could build post-session:
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For Keith Stone, a late morning wake-up involved a beer shower of Keystone Light, but at some part of the festivities in the dorms, a spec of some hipster IPA must have fallen onto his skin, forcing him into the bathroom to take a legitimate real shower.
The shower room was oddly busy for this time of time, the strains of "Sweet Home Alabama" reverberated from one stall, easily revealing Buckshot Calvert, the University's top Moopsball quarterback.
On the other side of Keith was simply Pedro. Not many knew anything about this man, except he carried a greatsword into a boffer LARP on the PENT (The IOU five-sided quad), and that he was a first semester Fresh-Thing, and technically off-limits in most situations.
"I need a loofa, if someone can grab a spot on my back...."
It seemed like God's justice for ninjas to drop out of the ceiling, just at that time.
Two of these six ninjas immediately slipped on the wet tile and knocking themselves unconscious.
One odd fact, as the three showering turned around: The alleged ninjas were all naked.
Pedro, assuming a threat, dove through the curtain, hitting the ninja in the face with the curtain rod. Pedro shoved him into a headlock, then kicked another ninjas up against the wall.
The three showering students were all quite alarmed that the ninjas were now holding katanas.
"Where were they hiding those?" Keith asked aloud, as he dove through the stance of another ninjas, his soapy body getting him out of immediate trouble, pushing off the bench, he redirected his slide to head out of the bathroom, where he spied a case in the wall with a bright red fire axe. Doors in the hallway opened to see what all the clamor was about... this time.
Buckshot quickly squirted bodywash on the floor, and as his ninja stepped forward and slid into him. Buckshot's put his loofa in his attackers face, spun him around, and shoved him against the handles of the shower.
Keith dueled with a ninja, katana versus fire axe, but he was distracted by the flushing of a toilet, an a midget wearing a little-person approved great helm emerged.
The boys mopped up the ninjas, but only Keith saw the midget raise three fingers and speak a word, sending shockwaves through the bathroom. Buckshot felt the waves through three walls and when he turned the corner, could only see the midget, visor on the great helm up, and everyone else was unconscious.
"You know that's eye level for me. Go find a towel."
"It's not eye level cause it's so close to the ground." Buckshot retorted.
Roberto, the Resident Director halfling, chuckled, "Help me with these bodies, I hate the Ninja Club, I never see them coming. Could you please put on real clothes.
Buckshot helped out and once it was just Pascal and Keith, he invited all three to the on-campus church group he was chief advisor to. "It's mostly shorter folk like me, but everyone is welcome, plus you'll love our snacks and fellowship, followed by second snacks and fellowship."
Roberto departed, and Keith woke up his classmates, and caught them up to speed. "They're snacks!"
Pedro: "Just to confirm, my friend, are they the snacks, are we the snacks, or are there delectable treats after their religious rituals?
Keith: "No clue, let's find out!"
The group was dressed up, Buckshot holding a keg under his arm, as a gift....
The walked down the hallway for the all-purpose room, passing the other rooms reserved for other groups: Chess Club, Completive Combat Tag, Brazilian Lycanthropes, Ukrainian Basket Weaving...
They finally reached the end of the hallway, and none of them had ever seen so many midgets in their life (halflings, put these three weren't the most culturally sensitive.) Some were dressed int their Sunday finest, some in jeans and t-shirts. One of the college aged parishioners came up to great them. "Father Pip said you were coming." He eyed the keg of Keystone Light, "We're NOT going to need that today."
"But it's what we brought!" Buckshot clamored back.
The parishioner pointed towards the altar, "We bring our own."
Buckshot's jaw dropped as he followed the little persons figure and saw the large wooden keg on the raise platform serving as the altar.
Keith: "I sure hope that's not an IPA."
The trio sat down amongst the throng of parishioners. Roberto, "Father Pip" emerged, adorned with fancy robes and a strange hat.
Keith, whispering to Buckshot, "He's the Pope of Midgets"
Father Pip: "Ah, welcome and greetings to the friends of Shot of Buck, enjoy your time her today."
The three guys couldn't really follow the service, the memorized prayers and responses. Soon a procession of other folks, six on each side. They hold four glass goblets, four pewter mugs, and four wooden tankards. Father Pip was up front, in a booming voice, "May your troubles bubble away and your joys foam over...."
Everyone with a mug, raises it. The rest of the congregation holds up their fist like they were holding their own. Father Pip filled the containers with the contents of the keg, and they lined up in from of the altar. Buckshot and Pedro scurried back to the rear of the room, where they protected their own keg.
Instead of some ritual communion, Father Pip just starts telling stories you might hear at the bar. The congregation lined up, each halfling taking a sip from their preferred container. Keith followed up, led by some lovely ladies he had met.
Pedro and Buckshot stood next to the snack table... The selection of the foods was excellent, especially the numerous charcuterie board.
Buckshot slid some delicious-looking red peppers up the sleeve of his red shirt.
GM: Roll Save versus Charcuterie, please.... Pedro, you too.
Pedro: Did you see the nuts?
Buckshot: Which nuts?
Pedro: Deez.... Candied Pecans!
Buckshot: Not now, maybe after. What does Keith think he's doing?
And with that the Moopsball Quarterback rubbed his eyes in disbelief, triggering the mutant hot pepper which were up his sleeves.
Keith took a swig directly from the beer tankard. Once the liquid touched his tongue, he seemed to spew twenty times the amount into the acolytes face.
"It's not beer.... it's sarsaparilla!"
All the halflings were aghast.
Keith: My deepest apologies, this isn't the flavor blast I'm used to.
The halflings bought the apology, falling for Keith's ability to be Always Smooth.
After the service, all was forgiven, and like the end of an episode of a bad 80's movie/sitcom. They all clink glasses of sarsaparilla.....
GM Notes: We rolled a 71 on the IOU scenario generator, "21st Level Halfling Cleric of Sarsparilla fighting a town of ne'er do wells, led by a naked hobo ninja with a hidden katana." I adapted on the fly.
Detailing some of the ancient storyline from the IOU campaign, Pedro's player may have linked Professor Pittleman to the bartender at the Wrong Celery in our Gamma World campaign.
These characters did earn the ally, Church of the Sarsaparilla 15+ (on 3d6)
