Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Ballad of the Pigeon God #20: (Talislanta) Would You Like to Touch My Peaches?

Our cast of Characters navigating the world of Talislanta:

Kannex - NPC - Tanasian Wizard who accidently transported a classic D&D brothel into the world of Talislanta.  Desperately researching a way to get a brothel full of women, the brothel's proprietor, and an adventuring party getting increasingly hostile to him back to their home world, as the adventurers try to obtain the components necessary for such an impressive spell.

Rolf Wolfsblood:  Bald-headed barbarian from the Plains of Galmar. Returning from an arduous journey from the Underground Highway of Durne.

Alexi - Sarista gypsy native to Talislanta.  Also returning to Durne. Suffering odd effects from some toxic material encountered in the side caves of the Underground Highway.

Ashe - highly skilled elven ranger, enjoying the fact that hated elves in Crosedes have pointed ears, just like all the races of men in Talislanta.  Currently recovering from "Talislanta Pox" aka, the Talislanta Rhinovirus.

Kane - monk of eastern mysticism with an odd elemental control of water.  Also returning from Durne.

Babette - Urban street thief swept up with the party when they teleported to Talislanta.  Recovering from Talislanta Pox.

29th of Talislandre 150 N.A. - Back at the The Pleasure House of Duane Alberhold, Cymril
Babbette was finally feeling better, sitting on the porch, as Rolf, Kane, and Aleix return from their journey.  They said nothing as they walked into the brothel, climbed the stairs, and and initiated the ensuing ruckus occurred near the door to Kannex's room.

A bit later, Rolf emerged out onto the porch.  He sneered at the the useless young thief who had tried to pick his pockets back a lifetime ago in Hydincall.

"We need purifiers from Sylvanus.  Ashe is better, but Kane fell ill on the road back.  You good enough to not get any of us killed?"

Babette nodded.

"Good, we're taking fucking windships from now on.  Abn Qua should be able to afford them."

32nd of Talislandre 150 N.A. - Back at the The Pleasure House of Duane Alberhold, Cymril
Packed up and provisioned, the group travelled into Cymril city proper to board the windship Solanus-Pon.  Upon arriving at the windship docks, they discovered that the windship had been stolen while still in Zanfir, along with all the equipment of the mercenaries and guides Abn Qua had hired!  Abn Qua's agent arrived at the scene and offered a handsome reward to investigate the theft (it was Abn Qua's ship, after all.)

Within hours, the windship Silver Moon was procurred to take them to Zanfir.

36th of Talislandre 150 N.A. - Zanfir
Silver Moon reached Zanfir just before nightfall, unloaded some cargo, and travelled overnight to Zandria.

37th of Talislandre 150 N.A. - Zandria
They party arrived in town and began buying drinks for the breakfast crowd at the taverns, overtly looking for information.  They found out from one of the dockguards it had been a magical theft.  A cloud of morpheus dust rolled in, knockng the guards out.

During lunch a strange character came up to their table and asked "Would you like to touch my peaches."  Most of the party was caught off guard, or misheard the Sarista's question, but Rolf simply sighed and nodded, "No they are quite rotten."

Rolf introduced their cotact in Zandir, Darius, to the rest of the party.

"No kind sir, Darius is a wanted man, You should call me "Yuri!" *OVERTLY OBVIOUS WINK*

"I understand we must go to Silvanus.  The theft of the Solanus-Pons has made travel difficult here, No windship, but I will buy Equs for each of you.  Very easy to ride.

They walked to a local stable together.  "Yuri" spoke with stable owner and handed him a large payment for five Equas, strange reptilian looking horses.
With bit and bridle on each each steed, they rode off.  Yuri glanced back one last time, and pulled a familiar sack of coins from beneath his cloak, "I suggest we leave tonight... immediately."

38th of Talislandre 150 N.A. - On to the road to Silvanus
The Equs proved to quick and reliable steeds.  Rolf even managed a crack a smile with the hijinx and stories of Alexi and Yuri. While resting over lunch, they heard a rustling in some nearby bushes.   Pouncing to action, they encountered a dwarf, much like the ones from their world.  He wiped his nose, leaving a trail of snot on his sleeve.  He extended his hand towards Rolf and said, "Would you like to touch my penis?"

Babette:  "He did say peaches, right. In the language we speak back home?"
Rolf:  "He speaks Trade Common, thief, but he certainly did not say peaches."

It was unsure how he arrived in Talislanta, but the dim-witted Norm Dingleberry had found his way to the forests of Silvanus in Talislanta.  Given that  he had spoken more Trade Common than his entire previous adventure with Kane, the monk was impressed.

Impressed enough that he vouched for him a capable fighter...

Okay, Kane outright lied.  But, he had his own provisions, and his own steed, a weary looking but servicable pony called Mytomek, and seemed eager to adventure.  They washed the snot off the dwarf and everone continued on their way....

DM Notes: We have begun "The Jewel of Fortuna" from the Sarista sourcebook for Talislanta.   Bigger for the party is the sudden addition of Norm Dingleberry, last seen in Episode #14: "The Shattered Circle."  As time and dimensional travelers, they either seem like geniuses or utter morons, and a dwarf nitwit that can barely speak Dwarven, much less Common, fits one of those categories.

NEXT #21 - The Blue Lotus Clan

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