Wednesday, October 30, 2019

(Risus) The Quest for Pumpkin Spice

Our Monday night 5e online game had a good run going.  The DM, Jeff, had made a triumphant return and our dimension-hopping heroes were no longer going to become the chew toys of a race of cat-people. 

But I fear that Jeff's been forced to work 2nd shift at his job for an undisclosed amount of time, and with about 8 hours before our session, on a busy Monday at work, I got hit with the "Maybe Eric can run something in my place."

So in the last minutes of my workday, I snuck onto drivethrurpg and downloaded "Brewhaha,"  a free Savage World one-sheet for East Texas University.  It's been almost a year since the last Illuminati University game took place, the infamous "Vesperado"

I'm sure a game involving cursed beer, mircobreweries, and curses would work well with Huggy Bear, the baddest damn Care Bear around, Keith Stone, spokesman for Keystone Light, and Pepe the King Prawn from the Muppets, but as we collaboratively set up the scene for the scenario, a discussion came up about Halloween, Fall, Leaf Season, and banning Pumpkin Spice on IOU campus due to a mix-up with House Atreides.

A quick reference to the Spice Girls was made, and I made a quick threat that if any characters died, I would give them Spice Girls as replacements.

Steve quickly chimed in, "I think we should be playing the Spice Girls, now!"

So we did.


In my even more dystopian mid-2000s, the Spice Girls squandered all their earnings, married no soccer players, and were broken up and scattered around the world.  Sporty Spice (Mel C) and Post Spice still kept up a futile attempt to keep some semblance of the group together, but their Aussie recruit Mel Ba had dropped out, and the only other qualified candidate was a husky Canadian woman who went by Turmeric.

But there were rumors that a new up and comer was appearing on the scene.... Pumpkin Spice.  Back then, even rumors of her existence were made in hushed tones, but it was up to Posh, Sporty.... and Turmeric to find her. 

The basic plot devices of Brewhaha were still used, although things were transplanted into an English pub.   The playing card draws via Roll20 for the effects of the cursed beer couldn't be perfect.  One got the result that a thick fog envelopes the town, and a terrifying scarecrow hunts them down.   The scarecrow, with a jack-o-lantern head and huge scythe, emerged in front to the pub's main window, just as the other two Spice Girls had their effect take place: uncontrollable projectile vomiting.  Windows shattered, an R-rating for the gross-out content was updated to the scenario, and scary(?) scarecrow emitted a very Valley-girl

"So.... grody...."

Great conversation was made, things were reconciled, and the quartet split before they were charged for the broken window (nobody remembered  who they were anyway).

Like, who cared, because it was, like, time for a SHOPPING MONTAGE!

The girls gave Pumpkin Spice a makeover that included ditching the flannel for a comfy sweater, some very comfy pants to hold in her scarecrow innards, and a fashionable pair of boots that Mel Ba had left when went back to Australia. 

There may have also been a battle scene with a singer whose frozen concoction brought all the neighborhood men out to fight the Spice Girls, but perhaps I was mistaken.

When our 5e game is cancelled, I have three go-to replacements:

  • Adventures in Gulluvia:  BECMI D&D that's gotten a dozen and half sessions in, and one character possibly at 3rd level. It's schlockey collaborative fun. 
  • Illuminati University (IOU) using Risus.  Great cross-genre gonzo fun in a college setting. 
  • Cthulhu 90's:  Canadian College Cthulhu, or "Curse of Nevoz" to me.  Some horror, some X-Files conspiracy, and a fun parody of Canadian life in the 90's.  Still annoyed Canada does not have Funyuns. 
And now, after this whimsical journey, I'm strongly pondering writing up "full-blown" Risus stats for the Spice Girls and set-up a secret-agent/Charlie's Angels game.  I let the players make up their own characters and I haven't looked at the cliches yet, although I know one may have involved the word "juicy" in it.  The current characters can try and reunite with the other estranged Spice Girls, and possibly have a secretive patron....

We'll call him.... Old Spice.
This is the Halloween gift that keeps on giving. 

No comments:

Post a Comment