(Savage Pulp) #3.9 The Swedish Museum of Antiquities

After failing to save their friend, and famed archeologist, Maja Millie from getting kidnapped by cultists, our heroes only had a few clues to work on.  From the interrogated survivors, they ascertained that the cultists had forced her to read an ancient Chinese scroll for them.  Unfortunately for the cultists, they had not obtained said scroll yet and they knew of the location were this might be hidden.

The Swedish Museum of Antiquities, outside of Stockholm.  

The Swedish Museum

Famed Swedish Adventurer, Nils Lingonberry and Aviator, Ted Mosby, had lost their friend, and with the help of timely arrival of Lord Jon-Smyth Cuppenbrush, hopefully could get more clues as to the whereabouts of Maja Millie and stop the cultists from obtaining the scroll.

Our Heroes

 The cultists were out in force, and led by a senior underling with minor powers in the dark arts!                                

The Cultists

A complete wild card that night were the Russian Sailors, led by the menacing Keptin Kaputin.  The bare chested brawler of the high seas had acquired a new Soviet era propaganda android, or "Russian 'Bot" to help them steal the scroll for their own nefarious purposes.  If the Russians have made it to Sweden, they must be up to no good.

Keptin Kaputin and the Russian Sailors

Few questioned what would happened if anyone encounter the museum curator, much less is the curator had the power to actually stop anyone. 

In the dead of night Our Heroes kept low and fast, sprinting to the rear of the museum, were rumors had it a secret door had been installed.

The Russians sensing the Heroes movement, moved over their staging grounds to investigate.  

"Ripe watermelon, this late in season, something is wrong my friends"

The cultists were also aiming at finding the secret back door, but a few stragglers slowed the process.

"Guys, FOCUS.  There are evil things to do!"

The cult commander quickly some the secret device, hidden in a tree, to open up the hidden door. 

A-ha!  I love that band!

With that, the cultists seized the initiative and stormed the museum, damaging displays, destroying priceless relics, all in the search of the mystic scroll.

Turning from watching his minions run into the building, the cult commander was met with a hail of bullets from the trusty revolvers of Lord Jon-Smythe Cupinbrush!

The cultists quickly split up and searched each display for the hidden scroll. 

The cult commander stood firm and fired harmful hexes at the barrel chested Englishman.

Take on Me!

But alas, cult commander didn't meet his doom at the smoking guns of the English gentleman, but at the sneaky maneuvers of Ted Mosby, Aviator, who shot him in the heart!

Not realizing their leader was dead, the other cultists dutifully followed orders....

A plot point to be determined later... acheived!

Until finally, one of the cultists found the scroll, hidden in a fake hollow tusk.  

"Hmmm... This paper-mache elephant looks out of place with these other displays."

Lord Cuppenbrush carefully followed the outside wall of the museum, but his stealth was quickly countered by a cultist and a large shotgun! 

*Click*

*Click*

With a last bullets in his revolver, the Lord gunned down the ammo-less cultist.

Meanwhile, a resident of the museum, who was certainly NOT the curator awoke among the commotion going one... He (?) was not amused.

"Need... coffee"

The first cultist investigating the storage room was met with a quick demise. 

After regaining their wits, Our Heroes dove into the complex, mopping up all the remaining cultists.

Well, all the cultists, save one... who escaped out the front doors

Swedish Adventurer Nils Lingonberry spied the scroll on the ground and dashed over to get it.  Unfortunately, this put him in the slow, methodical path of the mummy!  

His friends, Lord Cuppenbrush and Ted, may not be getting Christmas cards this year, as they abandoned their friend as they dashed out the door. 

Pi Yimminy!

The mummy injured the Nils, but not before a very lucky shot seem to wound the creature.  But a further fight was not in the cards this evening, as the Swede, enveloped by fear made a mad dash towards the door.  Unable to keep pace with the scrambling Nils, the mummy threw its arms forward and its wrapping unfurled, trying to entangle the Swede. The ends of the wrapping brushed up against Nils, but he was too far away for them to wrap him up.  

And with that, Mr Lingonberry escaped the mummy's clutches.  His friends outside were not so lucky with the Swede's multi-lingual tirade he beset upon them.  

Scroll in hand, and a chance to search the cult commander's body outside of the museum, Our Heroes, discovered a few things.  

1. The scroll was one of the pathways to infinite power. 
2. Another pathway to infinite power was to sacrifice someone, so, in spite of the heroes' success, Maja Millie was certainly still  in danger.
3. The cultists secret lair was somewhere at "Dulen av Gull"

Nils looked puzzled. "Gode Gud!  The good news is that she's somewhere in the Valley of Gold! "

Lord Cuppenbrush looked even more confused, "Where the bloody hell is the Valley of Gold... and what's the bad news?"  

"None of these notes on the cult leader are in Swedish or English.... "

"We are dealing with Norwegian Cultists!"

So what of the Russians you may ask?   They certainly had diabolical motives that night, but Keptin Kaputin through it wise to investigate the ruckus they had heard at the farm, and realizing others were trying for the scroll as well, thought it prudent to stake out the area and ambush the surviving party.  

Except the ones with the scroll didn't come back the same way.  Soon, the sailors drew sleepy and fell asleep on the haystack.  

Lucky for them, the Russian 'bot was scanning for voices in the area, picking up Lord Cuppenbrush's loud question, "Where the bloody hell is the Valley of Gold... " so they had a new lead to follow up on...

GM Notes:  After another dry spell, the third season of the Pulp "Egypt" game works its way closer to completion, thanks to the girls' basketball coach and our friend, Mia.  She conducted a few workouts in the basement for the girls and was intrigued at all the figures, completed and otherwise, on my painting bench.  She asked for a game, and while any of the final episodes were better for a beginner, this was the board set up on my dining room table for a week prior.  While girls goofed around with their groups (evident by the Russian's inaction), Mia tried to figure out the spirit of the game.  Given the nail biter at the end (Nils beat the mummy's roll by 1), I think it was successful. 

I think it should also be noted that this was the first time my wife joined in on one of the miniature-based games.  She'll occasionally jump into a more traditional family night game, but nothing role-playing or miniatures-wise.  I gave her the role (and rolls) of the mummy for the nail biting escape.  

Inspired by Neil at Toy Soldiers and Dining Room Battles.  The actual play of the scenario can be found here.  Everybody needs a Heroquest board, old or new, they can be so versatile. 

Next: #3.10 - Where is the Valley of Gold?

Variant Rules for Russian Gnomes

I can't imagine it's been years since the Russian gnomes for Gnome Wars came out, followed up by the Russian Bear Cav.

The rules for Russians were pretty sweet... if you were playing them.  Doubly furry armored beasts with blunderbusses... and that's just the bears. 

More than seven years ago, intrepid correspondent, friend of the blog, and prior to his award-winning GM days, Mike Lung had devised some variant rules to pull them back into classic Gnome Wars format (ditching the greatcoats), and throwing in some deadly fun for all sides:

Russians

Infantry Movement
Maximum movement allowance for all Gnomes is 12 inches per turn.

Firing

Rifle  (1d6)
1” to 12”                      3,4,5,6
13” to 24”                    4,5,6
25” to 36”                    5,6

Pistol   (2d6)
1” to 6”                        3,4,5,6
7” to 12”                      4,5,6

Light Cover: -1 on firing roll to hit. Hard Cover: -2 on firing roll to hit.

Any Gnome that fires during their movement must pay 6” of movement allowance. So a figure may fire and then move 6”, or move 6” and then fire. The figure may not move 3”, fire, and move 3”.

Hand-to-Hand

Figure Die for Melee

Officer                                                        8 sided
Regular Infantry with Rifle                        6 sided
Regular Infantry with Sickle and Hammer 8 sided
Fabergé Egg Grenadier                               6 sided
Priest-Medic and Artillerymen                   6 sided

The player who initiates the H-to-H combat determines which figures engage which.
Figures must match 1-1 before matching them 2-1; you cannot have greater than 2-1.
Hand-to-Hand combat will occur when opposing Gnomes move within 2” of each other. All Gnomes within 3” of the melee are ‘sucked in’ and will join the fight.

Special Rules
Officers
Russian infantry will not advance unless there is an officer present and alive.

For the Mother Land!
Whether it is because of their patriotic love of their home land or vodka induced fatalistic depression, Russian gnomes are known to be stubborn and tenacious fighters on the defense. When defending in a close order formation Russian infantry receive a plus +1 to their melee die roll. Figures must be no more than 1” apart and two or more ranks deep, and must not have moved that turn. Also, while in this formation Russian infantry will defend to the last gnome and does not have to take a morale check.

Priest
At the end of the turn the Priest can help the wounded and dying by a preforming the last rights ritual over the fallen gnome. He can move 18” total with it taking 3” of movement to help the other gnome. The priest canmove and help gnomes until the 18” is used up. Roll 1d8 and on a roll of 5,6,7 or 8 the gnome is revived and can rejoin the battle. If he fails, the gnome is dead and his spirit has moved on to better place.

Fabergé Egg Grenades
True Fabergé Eggs are beautiful works of art. It is said that each contains a unique, wondrous and powerful clockwork creation. These are rarely found on the battlefield. These true Fabergé Eggs can only be used by a special detachment of the elite Guard regiments and will require special, unique rules. However, much more common are cheaply made knock off Fabergé Eggs. They are still beautiful and very heavy. They use the following table:

Fabergé Grenade Hit Table
Within 8” Automatic
Over obstacle 3,4,5,6
Into door/window 4,5,6
Fabergé Grenade notes: Grenadiers can target one figure. The effect is immediate.

Shuvalov’s Secret Borscht Howitzers
Russians can be equipped with special artillery guns. The nature of these guns is a carefully guarded national secret. When not on the battlefield, the Russians keep the barrels covered to hide these guns from spying eyes. In battle, these guns may fire shells at long range as a normal mortar. However, at close range, these guns may fire their special borscht soup canister rounds that spray their opponents with deadly, boiling hot beet soup!

0”-12”                             3,4,5,6  - 4 dice per crewman (max of 3 crew)*
13”-24”                           4,5,6     - 4 dice per crewman (max of 3 crew)*
36”-48”                           5,6         - 3” Explosive Diameter.**
Over 48”                         6            - 3” Explosive Diameter.**

*Catastrophic Soup explosion.
When the howitzer shoots its special Borscht Soup canister shells, there is a chance that something will go horribly wrong. Reroll every “1” that was rolled to hit and total them up. If the total for that turn is 12 or greater, gun is explodes. The gun is destroyed. Place a 3” Explosive Diameter on the gun, any figure within that diameter  are killed. The hits inflicted on the enemy from the shot are not counted.

**Deviation:
 For Direct Hits use Spinner. Shot will deviate 1d6-1”
 If the roll to hit is a 1 or 2, the shot is a dud or airburst and has no effect.
 If the roll to hit is >2 and a miss, use the spinner. Shot will deviate 2d6”.

Russian Bear Cavalry
Bear Cavalry Movement
Maximum normal movement allowance for Bear Cavalry is 12 inches per turn. When charging, bear cavalry receives a 1D8 additional charge bonus.
Bears don’t jump. So bear cavalry do not follow the standard jumping over obstacle rules. However, may move throw a light cover or low lying obstacle (i.e. fence, shrub, ditch) without penalty. Also, their movement through  the obstacle will create a 1” path

Cavalry Carbine (1d6)
1” to 6”               3,4,5,6
7” to 12”             4,5,6
13” to 24”           5,6

Light Cover: -1 on firing roll to hit. Hard Cover: -2 on firing roll to hit.

Carbines may be fired from bear back without any deduction to the normal movement allowance.
Carbines may not be fired when charging. Firing on the same turn as moving is an additional -1 to hit.


Hand-to-Hand

Figure Die for Melee
Cavalry Mounted on Bear                        10 sided +2
Cavalry Officer Mounted on Bear            10 sided +3
Cavalry Musician Mounted on Bear         10 sided +2

Bears do not receive an addition melee bonus for charging. They always use the above melee values.
Hand-to-Hand combat will occur when opposing Gnomes move within 2” of each other. All Gnomes within 3” of the melee are ‘sucked in’ and will join the fight.

Russian Bear Cavalry Special Rules
Russian Bear Cavalry moves 12” per turn. Riders may shoot their carbines from their saddles as long as they are not charging into battle.

Grumpy Bears. Because bears are unpredictable, Russian Bear Cavalry is hard to control
Every turn bear cavalry attempt to move roll 1d6.
 1=bears are distracted, no movement this turn,
 2-6=move as normal.

If the Bear Cavalry is shot at, on its next move roll 1d6.
 1=bears are confused, no movement this turn,
 2-5=move as normal.
 6=bears are enraged and charge 18” toward enemy shooting at it until it makes contact.

Honey Obsession.
If there is honey on the table, the bears will smell it. Roll 1d6, before the unit moves.
 1=bears smell the honey and must move 12” every turn directly towards the nearest honey. They will fight anything in their path including allies until they reach the honey.
 2-6=move as normal.

Thick skinned. Bears have very thick hides, every time a bears take casualties; they get a 1d3 saving throw per casualty.
 1-3=bear take no damage
 4-6=bear take casualty as normal.

I hope somebody can take this variant and test it out, even in our COVID world.  It seems to strike a better balance to the other nationalities.  The other option is a higher point cost, and unless they become rare, that's a not a good thing for Brigade Games.  Who wants to cast $4 minis you only need 10 of?

Feedback appreciated in the comments or on the Gnome Wars page on Facebook.

(Kickstarter) Junior Townsfolk & Villagers by Midlam Miniatures

Midlam Miniatures has launched yet another Kickstarter, this time Junior Townsfolk & Villagers in 28mm.

Mouslings of Unusual Size?

For much of October I've been pulling together pre-scheduled material to keep things interesting while I keep my sanity together by a thread at work. 

Part of the process was going through a pile of correspondence with Intrepid correspondent, Friend of the blog, and AWARD WINNING GM Mike Lung. 

Years ago he sent me a link to this fantastic (and fun) display of mouslings from ReaperCon 2011.

Mousling Army_01 - Modeler Unknown - Picture by Mckenna35

The Mousling "Spinning tanks" and the basket of the balloon make my day.  

(Painting) Gnomish Space Marine Light Mortar Team

The truly busiest time of the year has descended upon my life, but that doesn't mean I may or may not be painting on these mandatory (and useless) 7am calls for an 8am-8pm operation.  

My Gnomish Space Marine Light Mortar was part of the Planetary Defense Force Starter Set from the Sandstorm Wars Kickstarter.  The Kickstarter was poorly executed, but the figures are very nice.  

It's a small victory, but it does fulfill my pledge to paint a "unit/squad/group" for my Gnomish Space Marines for October, and a head start for the November pledge.  Figures like Donnie "The Smuggler" Riddlebottom might be part of the universe, but I'm counting towards the "Special/Individual figure" goal of at least one per month.   

Of course, I've also slapped a "Full Unit" goal every month as well.  My personally infamous Nauvoo Legion is a roll-over from the last month (and the one before that... an thee one before that) but anything with more than ten common figures will count.  The GSM could qualify, but I'm thinking of the Zulu boxed set I have in storage, more gnomes, or I'd even qualify some micro-armor/OGRE/Battletech if I got around to it.  

Big anniversary gift (that wasn't my wife's usual arrangement of beer to me) was the arrival of the Coasters for the Party Kickstarter from Steve Jackson Games.   It was quick, it was cheap, and I slapped on some glow-in-the-dark Illuminati dice for fun.  

Basketball Diaries:  We've survived a relatively calm Fall with dance and flag football.  Now is the crazy month, as the girls complete together in not one, but two "School Team" leagues at two local AAU programs.   There's about 60-70% overlap between the two teams, but two different coaches make things interesting.  Best yet, I'm just a parent required to drive them around.  

Project 350:  526 (355/171) from 527 (354/173). The wife is working this weekend, and with a game that has literally been set up on the dining room table since Sunday, I swear upon the graves of my enemies, at least one game gets done!

Next: We're in the second half of the month already, and the Halloween game must be played, especially since the special minis arrived at the house... from the roller skating rink?

(Kickstarter) Space Scoundrels RPG

Game designer Thom Wilson has launched another Kickstarter for Space Scoundrels - A Not Too Serious Science Fiction RPG.

From the Kickstarter page:

Created as a one-shot for an evening of fun gaming, Space Scoundrels turned into a full role-playing game when players wanted to play it more than once. Striving to keep the rules as light as possible (and to keep a lot of the heavy science out of it), Space Scoundrels has evolved into an 28-page rule book filled with simplified game mechanics and optional rules.

Although serious fans of the science-fiction genre may enjoy Space Scoundrels, this game is truly targeted at less serious players who'd rather get into trouble, turn on their acquaintances, and end up with all the loot in an evening of lying, cheating, and stealing.

Three simple pledge levels:  pdf only, pdf and print on demand, and pdf, print on demand, and a thank you in the book.  Nothing over $13.

(Risus IOU) - Where the Hell is Duane?

Let's set one emphatic thing straight: Illuminati University (IOU) had nothing to do with COVID-19.  In fact, it's economically hampered by the virus, with agents from C.T.H.U.L.H.U. rushing back in time to correct things from lowering the ArchDean's stock values.

Still even with the a larger drop-out rate and extra IT demands for online learning, the ArchDean were the revenue shortfalls could be made up....  Student Health Services.  COVID-related medical bills could dwarf the student loans they had already rolled over for the six years it took to obtain their Bachelor's Degree.

And play their cards right and the Mortuary majors would have a lot of new subjects for their labs.

Keith Stone and Milktruck Mastadon were still on campus, sitting in the basement of the dorm, waiting for the fellow members of their study group for their class, Radically Collaborative Patterns in Instant Mashed Potatoes. 

Part of the same study group. already in the dorm kitchenette:

Hubert, a talking goldfish in a bowl, walking around in mechanical apparatus. Majoring in Chilean Fencing.

Bob Evans, prior to his years as Sausage King of West.

Missing was their final member, Duane.  Most importantly, he was responsible for study notes.

Bob Evans and Miltruck began experimenting Spudratic Equations on the stove in the dorm kitchenette, putting together an American equivalent of Bangers and Mash.

Milktruck, Keith, and Hubert went upstairs to the 3rd floor of the dorm

Reaching Duane's room, Keith mistook the plastic on the door for new fangelled beads and poked his head inside.

He was surprised to see this:

What are you doing?  This is a secure location!!!

"The door was technically open."

"Where's Duane?"

"Duane is no longer with us."

"Where is he?"

"He's been sent back to Wuhan."

Keith couldn't use his smooth moves, they were all dudes, but one of the staff, with a nametag of Li was willing to hold up Duane's notebook so they could take pictures of it.

The notes started in pencil, and devolved into jagged red Sharpie that had bled through the paper.  In fact the red Sharpie had bled through another paper onto those pages.  

It was hard to make out, but Keith Stone surmised three things:

(1) Duane's family took a lot of road trips. (His dad drove a bus.)
(2) They were all obvious murderous foreigners (because they ate Cup of Noodles).
(3) Wuhan was a bitchin' place to live.

"Did he get infected with Anthrax?"  Milktruck asked.

Li sprayed him in the face with the decontaminate?

Keith chimed in, "Waitaminute, is his family responsible for the China Virus?"

The biohazard crew just shook their heads...

Knowing what they learned, the did the smart thing and returned to the basement to continue their study group.

Milktruck was completely lost, reading the Chinese menu, while Keith kept pointing out obvious facts that won't be on the test.   Distracted, they called in some dumplings, soup, and some spare ribs for Hubert.

Five minutes later, there was a knock at the door of the study room.  Entering the room was one of the biohazard crew, holding a Chinese food order.

"Dude, you might not want to eat this, everything's probably contaminated."

Oddly enough, he took off his facemask.  The afro that could be seen through the visor turned out of be green.

"I'm Brock.... Brock Li.

"Dude, do you sing with the talking tomato and pickle?"

"Man, don't group me with those guys, the only people who like that are Jesus freaks and sexual perverts."

"How did you get a job working on the Biohazard Squad?"

"It's my assigned student job.  If you find Duane, tell him his room is cleaned from his explosive flatulence."

"Waitaminute, how'd you get our Chinese?"

"Some shady looking chinese guy was walking down the stairwell. He gave it to me and  didn't ask for money."

After eating Chinese and giving up on studying, everyone went to bed....

FAST FORWARD TO THE EXAM

The four surviving members of the study group exited the lecture hall, confident that they probably didn't fail.

Outside the building was Duane!

Duane

"Sorry I bailed dudes.  I had a bad batch of fish.  Kept me knocked out for awhile.  I knocked my easel over for my art class, we're in our brown phase so all that paint got everywhere."

"Sorry I bailed out, but that's why I sent the free Chinese on study night..."

"What do you mean?"

"Dudes, you don't remember anything about me, do you?  I work at the Chinese restaurant."

"Is it a family business?"

"No you racist twit, I'm Filipino!!!"

"Sorry...."

"Anyway, I'll never eat Chinese Herring from the cafeteria ever again, it distracted me from everything else I needed to do."

Camera pans into the study groups bodies.  Undigested take-out was mutating inside their digestive tract.  Something was alive in that food.  Was it a Chinese Virus... or just Chinese Botulism forming?

GM Notes: The scheduled online game for our annual Day of Sloth IOU game went off with many hitches.  With two players and a roll on the IOU random occurrence table I designed, we kept with a "ripped from the headlines" approach. 

The high point of the game was setting up an impromptu Mad Libs to interpret Duane's journal.  I heartily recommend that for role-playing/collaborative warm-up if you need to burn a couple of minutes/waiting on another player.  Good times.