Friday, August 5, 2016

#RPGaDay2016 Day #5: What Story Does Your Group Tell About Your Character

The Naked Roast Nazi

I've already talked about him on Day 8 of the 2014 RPGaDay under "Favorite Character," which was derived from a 12 Days of Gaming post I did about my biggest successes back in 2012  Here's the excerpt from that post:

First, a shout out to Todd in Pen Argyl, PA! Second, yes, you read the name right, Naked Roast Nazi. 

Todd was a regular miniatures customer at Griffon Game. I think he may have been the main person responsible for the expansion of the Reaper line. With the store closing, we struck up a conversation and I was invited into his home game. It was a big honor, as I believe he had been playing with the same crew for somewhere around a decade and had just finished up a five year weekly campaign. With a hybrid 1st/2nd Edition game with cherry picked parts of all the fantasy heartbreakers thrown in for good measure, I figured I'd start with a concept character, and if he died, I'd go more in depth into the system with the next one. With DM approval, I went with a Halfling Wizard with some cooking non-weapon proficiencies. Todd's response? "Hey, why not?"

The campaign was definitely sandbox, mid-risk, low magic sandbox to be exact. We wandered around the wilderness, following rumors of treasure. My little wizard (his name lost in the epochs of time) found little use with a sling, a dagger, and a staff that usually doubled as the spit for whatever we had hunted for food. It wasn't much, but life was good.

At some point, we had killed a bear, or boar, and had set up the spit to roast it. We had set camp at the edge of a lake and the rest of the party wandered off to see what they could see, gather herbs, etc, leaving me with the food... and the laundry. When the roast was nearly done I stripped down to nothing and bathed myself and our spare clothes at the same time.

The absolute perfect time for three goblins to smell our food and wander into camp.

Waist deep in the water (and still naked) I ran out to grab the only nearby weapon... my staff/spit. Trying to scare them off, I screamed for help and swung the roast beast meancingly.

And rolled a nat 20.

One goblin out for the count, I shimmied the food off my weapon and went after goblin #2. Hit. Dead.

As the party began to return, they saw the halfling, naughty bits exposed, beating the third goblin with what was a moment previous before, a cooking implement.

The halfling's name wasn't used from then on out, just Naked Roast Nazi. In this world we assumed it meant "Brave Halfling Warrior" rather than nude fascist chef.

Almost as funny, until the time that work got the best of me and I had to drop out, the halfling could only hit if he was in some state of disrobement. Fully geared up, he couldn't hit a lake if he was droppred into the center of it.

...and that's all I'm going to say about that.

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